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FORTY  WITNESSES, 


COVERING 


The  Whole  Range  of  Christian  Experience. 


Rev.  S.  OLIN  GARRISON,  M.A., 

EDITOR, 

(Author  Probationer's  Hand-Book.) 


INTRODUCTION  BY  BISHOP  C.  D.  FOSS,  LLD. 


''^  But  ye  slinll  recei7'e  foiver,  after  that  the  Ilcly  Ghost  is  come  upon  you  : 
and  ye  shall  be  witnesses  unto  me,  both  in  'Jerusalem,  and  in  all  Judea,  and 
in  Samaria,  and  unto  the  uttermost  part  of  the  earth.'' 


NEW  YORh':  PHILLIPS  &>  HUNT. 
CINCINNA  TI:  CRANSTON  is'  STOWE. 

i883. 


T 


Copyright,   iSSS,  by 
PHILLIPS     &     HUNT, 

New  York. 


(T 


TO   THEi 

ALUMNI  AND  STUDENTS 

OF 

DREW    THEOLOGICAL    SEMINARY 

AND   TO    THE 

YOUNGER    MINISTRY    OF    THE   GENERAL   CHURCH, 

TO   WHOM   ARE 

CHIEFLY   COMMITTED   THE   MOMENTOUS   SPIRITUAI.  AND   ETHICAL 
I'KUIU-EMS   OF    THE    NEXT   QUARTER   CENTURY, 

THIS    VOLUME    OF    EARNEST    TESTIMONY 

IS   MOST 

Respectfully^    Oedicated. 


PREFACE 


THE  object  of  this  volume  is  not  to  set  forth  a 
doctrine,  but  to  reveal  a  life.  While  it  is  recog- 
nized that  all  life  must  have  a  concrete  expres- 
sion, nevertheless,  the  book,  when  carefully  read, 
will  show  the  difficulty  of  uniformity  in  doctrinal 
statement,  and,  perhaps,  the  utter  impossibility  of 
the  most  devout  minds  agreeing  upon  the  termin- 
ology and  marks  of  deeper  religious  experiences 
especially.  And  yet  the  editor  hopes  that  he  has 
gathered  into  a  convenient  and  compact  shape  data 
which  will  furnish  some  capable  pen  the  material 
from  which  to  write  a  truer  philosophy  of  Christian 
experience  than  has  yet  appeared. 

Among  the  purposes  of  the  book  are :  (i)  mod- 
els of  discriminating  statements  of  experience ;  (2) 
checks  to  extravagance  in  religious  language  ;  (3) 
cautions  against  professing  obtainments  before  they 
are  reached  ;  (4)  to  show  the  easy  possibility  of  los- 
ing the  very  highest  graces,  and  (5)  the  wisdom  of 
frank  and  open  confession  of  serious  lapses. 

Sincerity  is  of  more  value  than  maintaining  a 
doctrine.  Pride  is  often  thrust  into  souls  easily 
ambitious  for  a  doctrine,  or  profession,  or  mode  of 
statement.  What  is  more  seductive  than  pride  of 
opinion,  and  what  more  rigid  than  the  vain-glorious 


6  PREFACE. 

maintenance  of  a  position  once  gained,  or  thought 
to  be  gained  ?  These  ''  witnesses  "  show  how  easy 
it  must  be  for  weaker  minds  to  mistake  their  expe- 
riences ;  how  few,  perhaps,  have  a  broad  view  of 
what  it  means  to  be  "  perfect  in  love,"  and  how 
many,  in  all  probability,  lapse  very  frequently  from 
even  the  highest  state  of  grace. 

Moreover,  the  book  will  teach  the  folly,  for  any 
reason,  of  giving  up  seeking  and  preaching  a  state 
of  grace  plainly  set  forth  in  the  Word,  and  logically 
demanded  by  every  system  of  religion  that  strongly 
appeals  to  the  intellect  of  the  race. 

Furthermore,  the  collective  volume  is  uncon- 
sciously at  war  with  bigotry  and  exclusiveness  of 
doctrinal  statement ;  it  especially  teaches,  "  be- 
tween the  lines,"  charity  toward  the  opinions  and 
expressions  of  all  men  ;  it  recognizes  that  men  are 
often  better  and  truer  than  their  statements,  and 
also  that  men,  very  blunt  and  exact  in  definition, 
often  succeed  in  winning  souls,  not  so  much  because 
of  their  nice  discriminations,  as  they  may  suppose, 
but  in  spite  of  them,  and  by  virtue  of  their  real 
goodness  and  downright  earnestness.  Few  men 
ever  clearly  analyze,  if  indeed  it  be  possible,  the 
true  secret  of  success  in  themselves  or  others.  There 
is  always  large  room  for  the  influence  of  unconscious 
environments. 

And  yet,  while  the  book  teaches  charity,  the 
editor  will  regret  exceedingly  if  his  grouping  of 
witnesses  shall,  in  this  age  of  excessive  liberalism, 
tend  to  take  any  rigidity  out  of  the  back-bone  of 
a  spiritual  church.  Let  no  one  be  discouraged,  but 
sweetly  hold  fast  that  whcreunto  he  has  attained ; 


PREFACE.  7 

be  not  afraid  to  investigate  the  reasons  for  the  hope 
he  has  within  him  ;  reconstruct  his  spiritual  build- 
ing, if  need  be,  and  push  upward  until  he  domes  in 
the  perfection  of  love,  the  perfection  of  faith,  the 
perfection  of  hope — a  divine  trinity  in  human  expe- 
rience— which  the  Scriptures  clearly  promise  in  this 
life. 

While  the  book  has  not  been  made  all  that  was 
intended,  nevertheless  it  will  be  found  scriptural, 
rich  in  clear  statements,  abounding  in  exact  dis- 
criminations, and  replete  with  sound  sense,  all  of 
which  will  magnify  its  value  and  tend  to  promote 
the  piety  of  the  Church.  Nearly  all  the  ''witnesses" 
are  over  fifty  years  of  age,  and  some  are  past  eighty. 
To  encourage  the  children  one  little  girl  is  admitted 
to  the  witness  stand,  a  delicate  and  often  danger- 
ous thing  to  do  before  such  an  audience,  but  this 
unique  experience  could  hardly  be  rejected.  The 
reader  will  notice  how  many  were  converted  in  child- 
hood or  youth.  It  is  also  of  interest  to  study  the 
relation  of  epochs  in  the  narration  of  experiences. 

The  witnesses  were  asked  to  write  out  of  their 
hearts,  and  without  an  eye  upon  their  dogmas  or 
theology.  Each  one  was  asked  to  give  a  plain, 
straight-forward  story,  chiefly  of  the  inner  life,  and 
without  adornment.  The  following  is  an  extract 
from  a  circular  sent  to  them  by  the  editor. 

"  Knowing  with  what  relish  people  listen  to  the 
narration  of  personal  experience,  and  with  what 
zest  thoughtful  people  read  intelligent  and  discrim- 
inating accounts  of  the  inner  life,  1  have  thought 
it  wise  to  gather  into  a  small  compass  testimonies 
to  salvation   from   sin.     The  accounts  of  Christian 


8  TREFACE. 

experience  in  the  religious  press  are  not  only 
ephenieral,  but  incomplete  and  inadequate.  They 
seldom  arrest  the  attention  of  the  thoughtful.  The 
very  few  attempts  to  meet  this  demand  in  book  or 
pamphlet  form  have,  so  far  as  I  have  been  able  to 
learn,  failed  of  their  purpose  largely,  and,  I  venture 
to  think,  for  apparent  reasons.  Such  books  and 
pamphlets  have  admitted  argument,  controversy, 
'  peculiar  views,'  or  dreams  and  other  matter,  gen- 
erally of  doubtful  expediency  ;  verbosity  and  relig- 
ious cant  have  been  indulged,  together  with  other 
irrelevant  matter.  Moreover,  there  have  been 
allowed  the  testimonies  of  witnesses  immature,  and 
incompetent,  by  reason  of  inability  to  correctly 
analyze  and  accurately  express  the  phenomena  of 
their  experiences.  It  is  my  design  to  secure  the 
testimonies  of  ripe,  capable  witnesses,  living  and 
dead,  and,  as  far  as  possible,  throw  them  against 
the  theoretical  and  practical  infidelity  of  the  age. 
Recognizing,  however,  that  the  charm  of  all  spirit- 
ual biography  has  ever  been  a  complete  salvation, 
and  also  remembering  that  every  philosophy  should 
be  judged  by  its  best  exponents,  I  have  chosen 
those  witnesses  whom  I  have  understood  to  believe 
the  Scriptures  promise  '  perfect  love,'  or  '  holiness' 
or  a  'second  experience'  (as  Miss  Havergal  calls 
it),  and  who  also  believe  themselves  at  some  time 
to  have  had  this  higher  experience.  I  have  it  in 
mind  to  prevent,  as  far  as  may  be,  premature  and 
superficial  testimony,  and  to  help  correct  and  root 
out  delusions  and  snares,  as  well  as  remove  from  the 
main  vision  all  that  is  non-essential,  irrelevant  and 
dangerous  to  the  doctrine  and  life  of  purity. 


TREFACE.  9 

''  In  seeking  testimony  I  therefore  respectfully 
ask  you  to  be  careful,  as  a  witness,  to  give  very 
briefly  the  errors  made  in  seeking  salvation,  mis- 
takes, if  any,  in  deciding  when  the  work  of  regener- 
ation and  sanctification  were  respectively  believed 
to  be  finished,  and  also  a  very  true  account  of  your 
experience  in  becoming  established  in  holiness.  I 
would,  however,  give  all  room  for  the  personal 
direction  of  the  Spirit  in  writing  testimony.  I  do 
not  question  the  divine  unity  which  will  appear 
in  the  apparent  diversity  of  reports  from  holy 
people.  A  cast-iron  uniformity  is  not  desired.  My 
earnest  hope  is  to  make  the  book  an  enduring 
spiritual  classic  in  the  literary  clearness  and  strength 
of  its  testimonies,  braced  as  well  by  the  purity  and 
power  of  the  lives  of  the  witnesses  themselves. 

EPITOME. 

''(i.)  A  brief  account  of  your  conversion,  giving 
the  dates  and  places  of  your  physical  and  spiritual 
births.  State  whether  your  conversion  was  instan- 
taneous or  gradual,  clear  or  dim,  calm  or  demon- 
strative. 

•'  (2.)  An  account  of  your  regenerate  life ;  your 
experience  with  the  '  carnal  mind.' 

"  (3.)  An  account  of  your  sanctification,  or  'sec- 
ond experience,'  stating  whether  it  was  gradual  or 
instantaneous,  quiet  or  emotional,  whether  you  mis- 
took earlier  blessings  for  the  completed  work. 

"  (4.)  A  full,  but  concise  account  of  your  life  of 
sanctification,  your  lapses,  the  causes  thereof,  the 
frequency  perhaps,  the  difficulties  and  triumphs  in 
becoming  established  in  holiness.     It  seems  to  me 


lO  TREFACE. 

there  is  great  need  of  candid  testimony  at  this 
point.  Evident,  open-faced,  not  too  discreet  frank- 
ness is  always  a  great  power  in  testimony.  Who 
can  read  or  hear  the  painful,  tearful  witness  of 
*  a  broken  and  contrite  heart  '  without  that  melt- 
ing sense  of  kinship  which  draws  us  closer  to  each 
other  and  to  our  sympathetic  High  Priest?  God 
has  not  deemed  it  wise  to  cloak  the  evil  deeds  of 
Noah,  David,  Peter. 

"(5.)  No  argument,  exhortation  or  controversy. 

**  (6.)  Give  full  dates  throughout  if  possible. 

"  The  book  is  not  to  be  denominational.  It  is  to 
be  simply  an  apostolic  experience  meeting  on 
paper.  Witnesses  will  be  sought  from  every 
Church.  The  Church  and  the  world  are  certainly 
making  a  sad  blunder  when,  as  Dr.  Daniel  Steele 
suggests,  they  listen  *  more  attentively  to  the  spec- 
ulations of  theorizers  than  to  the  declarations  of 
witnesses    attesting     that    Jesus    is     a     complete  > 

Saviour.'  " 

EDITOR. 
Philadelphia,  Pa.,  March  5,  1888. 


INTRODUCTION. 


BY   BISHOP   FOSS. 


riOD'S  way  of  making  any  truth  mighty  is  by  in- 
n  carnating  it.  In  order  to  reveal  himself  to  men 
and  angels  ''  The  Word  was  made  flesh,  and  dwelt 
among  us,  and  we  beheld  his  glory."  To  all  eter- 
nity the  truth  will  stand  that ''  no  man  hath  seen  nor 
can  see"  the  Almighty  Father.  The  sole  manifes- 
tation of  him  to  any  created  being  will  always  be 
through  the  God-man,  "  in  whom  dwelleth  all  the 
fulhiess  of  the  Godhead  bodily." 

Man  is  the  great  revelation  of  God.  All  honor 
to  *'  God's  word  written  ;"  but  the  practically  decis- 
ive revelation  of  God  to  the  individual  sinner  is 
not  usually  through  the  Bible,  but  through  some 
"living  epistle."  The  greatest  truths  in  the  Bible 
have  been  thrown  down  before  men  millions  of 
times,  and  have  been  only  as  "  pearls  before  swine," 


12  INTRODUCTION. 

until  quickened  souls  have  picked  them  up,  been 
transformed  by  them,  and  held  them  forth  before 
the  astonished  gaze  of  men,  gleaming  with  divine 
luster. 

Of  this  truth  the  entire  history  of  the  Church 
affords  no  more  striking  illustration  than  the  life  of 
John  Wesley.  His  fifteen  years  of  legal  bondage 
and  earnest  search  were  immensely  valuable  for 
the  purpose  of  getting  a  great  truth,  long  firmly 
held  in  a  clear  head,  deeply  imbedded  in  a  hot 
heart.  When,  at  the  age  of  thirty-six,  he  felt  his 
"  heart  strangely  warmed,"  Methodism  was  born, 
and  the  way  to  heaven  became  plainer  to  all  suc- 
ceeding generations.  His  subsequent  experience 
and  teaching  concerning  *'  perfect  love  "  brought  in 
a  new  era  for  yearning,  struggling,  doubting  disci- 
ples ;  and  the  twin  evangels  of  salvation  noiv,  and 
o{  salvation  from  all  si Ji,  soundtd  out  more  clearly 
than  ever  before,  not  only  through  all  the  branches 
of  the  Church  he  founded,  but  throughout  all  evan- 
gelical Christendom. 

The  great  convincing  proof  of  Christ's  messiahship 
must  always  be  in  substance  the  same.  He  himself 
states  it  thus :  "  Go  and  show  John  again  those 
things  which  ye  do  hear  and  see ;  the  blind  receive 
their   sight,    and    the    lame    walk,    the    lepers    are 


INTRODUCTION.  13 

cleansed,  and  the  deaf  hear,  the  dead  are  raised  up, 
and   the   poor  have   the  gospel  preached  to  them." 
After  this  he  said,  *'  He   that  believeth  on  me,  the 
works  that  I  do  shall  he  do  also  ;  and  greater  works 
than  these  shall  he  do."     Those  "  greater  works  " 
can  be  none  other  than  the  spiritual  miracles  of  rais- 
ing and  transforming  dead  souls ;  and  such  miracles 
God  has  wrought  by  his  modern  apostles  as  truly  as 
he  healed  the  sick  and  raised  the  dead  by  the  original 
twelve.     Transformed   lives,  "new  creatures,"   tri- 
umphant  experiences,   Saul-Pauls— these  must    in 
every  age  be  the  incontestable  evidences  of  Chris- 
tianity.    Against   such   demonstration  no  form  of 
skepticism,  whether  dug  out  of  the  rubbish  of  the 
past,  or  (if  that  be  possible)  born  of  some  new  de- 
velopment of  Satanic   genius,  can  possibly  make 
permanent  headway. 

Lyman  Beecher  once  said— I  am  sure  of  the 
thought  and  almost  of  the  exact  words—"  A  heart 
on  fire  with  the  love  of  God  is  the  greatest  created 
power  in  the  universe."  But  in  order  to  such 
power  the  heart  must  not  only  feel  that  love,  but  be 
hot  with  it.  MiUions  of  church  members  on  the 
dead  level  of  dry  orthodoxy  and  decent  ceremonial 
observances  and  worldly  living  have  less  power 
than  one  man  with  a  great  idea  burning  in  the  core 


14  INTRODUCTION. 

of  his  heart — a  Daniel,  a  Paul,  a  Luther,  or  a  Jud- 
son. 

"Ye  are  my  witnesses,"  saith  the  Lord.  The 
Church,  which  is  Chrllt's  body,  has  a  testimony  to 
offer  concerning  its  Head  and  also  concerning  the 
life  which  continually  flows  from  the  head  into  all 
the  members. 

This  book  is  a  summary  of  such  testimony  from 
the  lives  of  "  Forty  Witnesses,"  witnesses  repre- 
senting courses  of  life  and  ecclesiastical  stand-points 
exceedingly  diverse;  some  having  "a  genius  for 
godliness,"  and  others  furnishing  material  about  as 
intractable  as  grace  has  ever  conquered  and  trans- 
formed. It  is  highly  instructive,  then,  to  behold 
them  all  gathering  round  the  world's  Redeemer 
and  with  united  voices  proclaiming  him  "  mighty  to 
save,"  to  "  save  to  the  uttermost,"  and  *'  able  to 
succor  them  that  are  tempted." 

The  freshness,  frankness,  individuality,  variety, 
and  generally  undogmatic  character  of  these  experi- 
ences will,  I  am  sure,  make  them  practically  help- 
ful to  many  a  dissatisfied  and  longing  believer,  and 
will,  I  think,  have  also  a  certain  philosophic  value, 
not,  indeed,  in  settling  the  vexed  questions  relating 
to  the  theological  definition  of  ''  the  higher  life," 
but   in   strongly  emphasizing  the   truth  that  such 


INTRODUCTION.  ^5 

questions  arc  altogether  secondary  to  the  possession 

of  that  life  itself:  and  that 

'«  The  love  of  God  is  broader 
Than  the  measure  of  man's  mind." 

Go  forth,  ye  "  Forty  Witnesses."  Pursue  your 
shining  way  until  it  leads  into  the  streets  of  gold. 
And  God  grant  that  your  Beulah  songs  may  quicken 
the  steps  of  many  a  footsore  pilgrim  and  help  to 
augment  the  number  of  that  triumphant  multitude 
who  shall  stand  before  the  throne  of  God,  having 
''washed  their  robes  and  made  them  white  in  the 

blood  of  the  Lamb." 

CYRUS  D.   FOSS. 

June  14.   1888. 


CON  TENTS 


PART    FIRST. 

Denomination.    Page. 

DouGAN  Clark,  M.D Friend.  19 

Professor  of  Latin  and  Greek,  Earlham  College. 

David  B.  Updegraff,  Minister Friend.  25 

Fannie  J.  Sparkes Methodist.  31 

Daniel  Steele,  D.D "  39 

Professor  in  Boston  University. 

Rev.  E.  M.  Levy,  D.D Baptist.  47 

Jennie  F.  Willing Methodist.  66 

Mrs.  M.  Baxter Church  of  England.  72 

Rev.  William  Reddy,  D.D Methodist.  76 

Rev.  James  Muuge,  B.D "  84 

Frances  E.  Willard •'  90 

Rev.  G.  D.  Watsox,  D.  D "  100 

Rev.  B.  F.  Crary,  D.D "  107 

Euke  Woodard,  Minister Friend.  112 

Rev.  John  Parker Methodist.  ti6 

Capt.  R.  Kelso  Carter "  121 

Mary  R.  Denman Episcopalian.  130 

Anna  M.  Hammer "  135 

Rev.  B.  K.  Peirce,  D.D Methodist.  140 

Hannah  Wnn all  Smith Friend.  144 

3 


1 8  CONTENTS. 

Df.nomination.     Pace. 
A.  ir.  HUSSEY,  Minister Friend.  15S 

Rev.  L.  B.  Bates,  D.  D Methodist.  162 

OSEE    M.    FlTZGER.\LD "  165 

Rev.  George  Hughes «'  176 

vSarah  A.  Laxkforu  Talmek "  1S3 

Rev.  Henry  P.  Hall "  192 

Rev.  William  Jones,  M.D •'  197 

Mary  Spakkes  Wheeler "  203 

LUCRETIA  A.  Cullis Episcopalian.   215 

Charles  CuLLis,  M.D "  220 

PART   SECOND. 

PuoF-ESSOR  Asa  Maiian.  LL.D Congregationalist.  223 

Frances  Ridley  Havergal Church  of  England.  237 

Mary  D.  James Methodist.  245 

Rev.  William  Butler,  D.D.. ••  250 

Ethel  Perkins •*         260 

Bishop  C.  D.  FO.SS,  LL.D '•  263 

Dwight  L.  Moody Congregationalist.  26S 

Professor  T.  C.  Upham,  D.D •'  271 

Rev.  Alfred  Cookman Methodist.  2S3 

Rev.  J.  O.  Peck,  D.D •'  293 

Phcebe  Palmer "         299 


FORTY   WITNESSES, 


F^ARX    KIRSX. 


I. 

DOUGAN   CLARK,  M.D. 

(FRIEND.) 

iWAS  born  in  Randolph  County,  North  CaroHna, 
on  the  17th  of  5th  month  (May),  1828.  I  was 
educated  at  Havcrford  College,  Pennsylvania,  at 
which  institution  I  graduated  in  1852.  I  took  the 
degree  of  Doctor  of  Medicine  at  the  University  of 
Pennsylvania  in  1861,  and  practiced  my  profession 
for  about  fifteen  years.  Since  1866  my  residence 
has  been  at  Richmond,  Indiana. 

My  parents  were  both  ministers  in  the  Society 
of  Friends.  I  had  accordingly  a  birthright  mem- 
bership in  that  Church.  I  was  carefully  and  tenderly 
brought  up,  and  taught  that  I  must  fear  the  Lord 
and  keep  his  commandments.  The  Scriptures  were 
daily  read  in  our  family,  and  I  soon  learned  to  read 
and  enjoy  them  for  myself.  The  parental  discipline 
which  I  received  was  strict,  but  kind  and  loving.  I 
was  to  a  great  extent  shielded  from  the  temptations 


20  FORTY"  WITNESSES. 

to  gross  sins  to  which  many  young  people  are 
exposed.  I  was  from  my  very  infancy  a  regular  at- 
tender  upon  public  worship,  and  in  my  earliest 
years  I  enjoyed  hearing  good  preaching. 

The  chief  things  inculcated  in  the  teaching  and 
preaching  of  those  days— I  mean  half  a  century  ago, 
so  far  as  the  Friend's  Church  was  concerned — were 
to  mind  and  obey  the  light  of  God's  Holy  Spirit 
shining  into  the  heart ;  to  be  moral  and  upright  and 
honest  and  truthful  and  good  ;  to  do  what  duty 
required,  and  to  obey  God ;  and  thus  to  work  out 
salvation  with  fear  and  trembling. 

It  is  true  that  Christ  crucified  was  often  spoken 
of  as  the  sinner's  hope  of  acceptance  with  God  ;  but 
the  fact  that  the  Spirit  always  testifies  of  Christ  and 
draws  men  to  him  was  too  much  lost  sight  of,  and 
the  necessity  of  an  immediate  and  definite  conver- 
sion was  not  clearly  insisted  upon. 

I  cannot  point  to  the  time  when  converting  grace 
first  reached  my  soul.  I  am  quite  sure  that  it  w^as 
in  very  early  life.  I  am  certain  that  there  were  occa- 
sions every  now  and  then,  during  my  boyhood  and 
youth  and  early  manhood,  when  my  soul  was  filled 
with  the  love  of  God  ;  when  I  was  contrite  before 
him  ;  when  my  peace  flowed  as  a  river,  and  when  I 
enjoyed  what  I  now  believe  to  have  been  the 
witness  of  the  Spirit  to  my  adoption  and  sonship. 

A  man  can  be  alive  even  if  he  does  not  know 
when  his  birthday  was,  and  so  we  may  have  the  un- 


DOUGAN   CLARK,    M.D.  21 

mistakable  signs  of  spiritual  life  without,  in  all  cases, 
being  able  to  point  to  the  moment  or  the  day  when 
such  life  began.  It  is  not  so  important  to  know  the 
time  as  the  fact  of  our  conversion.  But  notwith- 
standing these  things  are  so,  yet  I  want  to  add 
right  here  that  I  do  consider  a  definite,  con- 
scious conversion — to  which  the  individual  can  point 
in  all  his  subsequent  life  as  the  day  of  his  birth  into 
God's  kingdom — to  be  an  inestimable  blessing  and 
a  glorious  privilege.  And  where  people  are  rightly 
instructed  such  conversions  will  be  the  rule,  and 
any  other  kind  the  rare  exception. 

Until  I  had  reached  middle  life  my  Christian  ex- 
perience was  very  unsteady  and  unsatisfactory.  God 
was  wonderfully  good  to  me  ;  but  the  carnal  mind 
was  very  strong  and  ever  struggling  against  the 
movings  of  the  Spirit.  So  I  was  up  and  down,  one 
day  on  the  house-top,  the  next  in  the  cellar  ;  sinning 
and  repenting,  backsliding  and  returning ;  at  times 
growing  in  grace  and  at  times  almost  losing  my 
faith  and  my  hope.  I  was  a  Christian,  but  not  a 
healthy  one.  Still,  upon  the  whole^I  can  say,  to  the 
glory  of  Jesus  my  Saviour,  that  during  those  years, 
by  his  grace,  I  did  make  considerable  progress  in 
the  divine  life.  The  old  man— the  strong  man— was 
mostly  kept  in  bonds.  The  struggle  was  often 
severe  and  protracted  ;  but  when  I  trusted  in  Jesus 
he  gave  me  the  victory. 

When  I  was  about  thirty  years  of  age  my  atten- 


22  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

tion  was  first  called,  distinctively  and  intelligibly,  to 
the  subject  of  holiness  as  an  actual,  obtainable  ex- 
perience. This  was  from  a  perusal  of  the  Interior 
Life,  by  the  Late  Professor  Upham. 

But  it  required  many  years  for  me  to  grasp  the 
subject  experimentally  and  practically.  I  made 
consecrations  again  and  again — written  and  verbal 
— but  somehow  they  did  not  stand  the  test.  I 
struggled  and  prayed,  and  often  got  the  victory; 
but  I  was  not  delivered. 

When  nearly  forty  years  of  age  I  began  to  speak, 
not  infrequently,  in  Friends'  meetings  as  a  minister. 
I  only  felt  just  call  enough  to  justify  me  in  opening 
my  mouth  ;  and,  without  deciding  whether  the 
Lord  really  intended  to  make  a  minister  of  me  or 
not,  I  thought  it  safest  to  attend  to  present  openings 
and  opportunities  to  speak  for  Him  as  they  occurred. 
It  was  comparatively  only  a  short  time  before  my 
monthly  meeting  gave  its  official  sanction  to  my 
ministry  by  ''recording"  me  as  a  minister  of  the 
Gospel.  And  still  I  was  interested  in  the  subject 
of  holiness,  and  still  I  was  desiring  it,  and  still  I  was 
not  enjoying  it. 

At  length,  in  the  I2th  month  (December),  1871, 
while  attending  a  series  of  meetings  at  a  Friends' 
church  in  Ohio,  in  which  Brother  David  B.  Upde- 
graff  was  taking  part,  and  acting  under  his  advice,  I 
arose  in  a  large  assembly  and  stated  my  sense  of  my 
own  unworthiness  and  weakness  ;   but  that  relying 


DOUGAN   CLARK,    M.D.  23 

wholly  upon  Christ  I  did  there  and  then  reckon 
myself  dead  indeed  unto  him  and  alive  unto  God 
through  Jesus  Christ  my  Lord. 

I  had  now  committed  myself  publicly.  While  I 
knew  that  I  could  not  make  myself  dead  to  sin  I 
felt  as  if  the  responsibility  was  now  laid  upon  Jesus. 
What  I  reckoned  in  faith  he  could  make  real  and 
true.  There  w^as  no  very  marked  feeling  for  several 
hours.  I  held  on  by  faith  to  my  confession.  Then 
came  peace — full,  quiet,  calm  ;  not  rapture,  nor 
ecstasy,  but  ''  All  the  silent  heaven  of  love ; "  and 
this  continued  almost  without  intermission  during 
my  waking  hours  for  several  weeks. 

Now,  what  did  I  get  ? 

Answer:  i.  A  clean  heart;  I  was  baptized  with 
the  Holy  Ghost,  and  my  heart  was  purified  by  faith. 

2.  Perfect  love. 

3.  The  endowment  of  power  ;  for  whatever  spirit- 
ual power  I  have  been  possessed  of  since,  either  for 
winning  sinners  to  Christ  or  bringing  believers  to 
entire  sanctification  by  consecration  and  faith  in 
Jesus,  I  date  it  from  that  blessed  day  and  hour. 

How  has  it  been  with  me  since  ? 

There  have  been  failures  on  my  part,  but  God  has 
kept  me  wonderfully.  There  have  been  great 
and  exceedingly  subtle  temptations — angel-of-light 
temptations — but  Jesus  has  carried  me  through. 
There  have  been  great  trials  and  fearful  sorrows, 
greater,   I  believe,  than   the  average  Christian,  or 


24  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

even  the  average  holiness  man,  is  called  upon  to  en- 
dure ;  but  Jesus  sustains  and  keeps  and  consoles. 
There  has  been  a  good  deal  of  blessed  service  for 
him,  both  in  preaching  and  writing*,  and  a  good 
many  souls  testify  to  having  been  blessed  and 
brought  into  the  light  and  experience  of  holiness 
through  my  instrumentality — with  pen  or  tongue. 
I  wish  the  number  was  manifold  greater,  as  it  might 
have  been  if  I  had  been  wholly  the  Lord's  from  my 
youth  ;  but  I  can  rejoice  now  when  others  preach 
and  write  better  than  I,  and  are  the  means  of  gath- 
ering in  hundreds  where  I  bring  units. 

And  on  this  19th  of  February,  1887,  I  do  still 
testify  that  by  the  grace  of  God  I  am  reckoning  my- 
self dead  to  sin ;  and  I  have  a  sure  confidence  that 
now  the  blood  of  Jesus  Christ  cleanseth  me  from  all 
sin,  and  that  I  have  received,  and  now  have,  the  gift 
of  the  Holy  Ghost.     Praise  the  Lord  ! 

D.  CLARK. 

Richmond,  Ind.,  Second  Month,  Nineteejith  Day,  1887. 


DAVID   B.    UPDEGRAFF. 


II. 

DAVID  B.  UPDEGRAFF. 

(FRIEND.) 

T  WAS  born  near  Mount  Pleasant,  Ohio,  on  the  23d 
ci  of  August,  1830.  I  cannot  doubt  that  I  was  sol- 
emnly given  to  God  from  my  birth  by  pious  parents. 
My  infant  lips  were  taught  to  pray,  and  when  I  said, 

"  Now  I  lay  me  down  to  sleep, 
I  pray  the  Lord  my  soul  to  keep," 

I  really  expected  him  to  do  it.  My  young  heart 
was  not  a  stranger  to  the  gracious  visitations  of  the 
Spirit  of  God,  and  was  often  melted  by  the  power 
of  his  love.  But  as  I  grew  up  I  grew  in  sinfulness 
and  in  rebellion  against  God.  Though  mercifully  pre- 
served from  many  sins  of  a  gross  and  disgraceful 
character,  I  was  often  in  great  distress  of  soul 
because  of  those  I  did  commit.  At  such  times  I 
would  earnestly  repent  in  secret  and  cry  unto  God 
for  mercy.  Many  covenants  were  thus  made  and 
often,  though  not  always,  broken.  The  covenants, 
prayers,  restraints  and  instructions  of  faithful 
parents  were  not  lost  upon  me.  After  being  settled 
in  life  I  renewed  my  covenants  with  God,  and  sought 
to  do  right  because  it  was  right.  I  was  a  birthright- 
member  of  the  Church  and  was  "  zealous  toward 


26  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

God  according  to  the  perfect  manner  of  the  law  of 
my  fathers."  I  certainly  did  "fear  the  Lord,"  and 
was  a  ^'servant''  under  the  law  that  '' gendcreth  to 
bondage  "  for  many  years.  But  I  had  not  "  received 
the  adoption  of  a  souT  In  March,  1864,  I  made 
this  full  discovery.  The  Gospel  of  God  came  to  me 
with  great  power.  I  met  the  test  of  public  confes- 
sion of  sins  and  my  need  of  the  Saviour.  It  was  a 
hard  struggle,  for  I  was  proud  and  stubborn ;  but  I 
was  determined  to  yield  myself  to  God,  and  did  it. 
My  spiritual  conflict  was  somewhat  protracted,  but 
it  came  to  an  end  in  the  silent  watches  of  the 
night,  and  I  had  "  peace  with  God."  His  Spirit 
witnessed  with  my  spirit  that  I  was  his  child.  I 
was  at  once  a  glad  and  willing  witness  to  the  reality 
of  justification  by  faith  and  the  birth  of  the  Spirit. 
I  loved  to  tell  of  the  power  of  Jesus  to  save  and  of 
the  gladness  he  had  put  into  my  heart.  But,  first 
neglect,  then  disobedience,  then  waywardness  inter- 
fered with  my  Christian  life.  Chastening  and  suf- 
fering from  the  hand  of  the  Lord  was  followed  by 
restoration  of  soul.  Then  a  more  conscious  and 
definite  consecration  of  my  service  to  the  blessed 
Saviour.  I  had  longed  to  see  God  glorified  in  the 
salvation  of  souls  and  the  enlargement  of  the 
Church.  Some  years  had  passed  since  I  had  found 
the  liberty  of  the  sons  of  God  ;  but  I  saw  that  few 
were  being  brought  into  the  kingdom.  To  be  sure, 
I  was  only  a  business  man,  and  utterly  averse  to 


DAVID   B.   UPDEGRAFF.  27 

the  idea  of  being  a  minister.     I  greatly  desired  to 
serve  both  God  and  men,  but  in  a  quiet  and  unob- 
trusive way.     The  Church  was  laying  a  little  work 
upon  me,  from  which  I  shrank  with  a  deep  sense  of 
unfitness.     I  felt  it  far  more  than  I  could  under- 
stand  it.     But   as   the    Lord   opened   the  door   I 
stepped  in,  and  soon  began  to  learn  what  real  loy- 
alty to   God  was  to  cost,  and  that  if  led  by  the 
Spirit    of   God,    and    according   to    his   word,   re- 
proaches and  other  like  blessings,  promised  by  the 
Saviour,  would  become  a   reality.     I    had   always 
regarded  these  rather  as  a  consequence  of  blunders 
made  by  people  who   could  not  manage  to  keep 
out  of  them.    There  were  a  good  many  people  who 
.avc  me  trouble  ;  but  as  I  learned  more  of  myself  I 
discovered   one   "old  man"   who   gave   me   more 
trouble  than  all  the  others,  and  he  was  a  member 
of  my  "  own  household."     "  His  deeds"  had  been 
put  off,  and  truly  there  was  "no  condemnation 
yet  when  "  I  would  do  good"  he  was  present  with 
me      And  he  was  there  to  "  war  against  the  law  of 
my  mind,"  with  a  resolute  purpose  to  "bring  me 
into  captivity  to  the  law  of  sin."     If  he  succeeded 
even  partially  I  was  humbled  and  grieved,  and  if 
he  did  not  I  was  in  distress  with  fear  lest  he  might. 
The  Lord  taught  me  by  some  special  providences, 
and  I  began  to  understand  more  clearly  how  that 
.-the  law  was  weak  through  the  flesh."     I  hated 
pride,  ambition,  evil  tempers  and  vain  thoughts; 


28  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

but  I  had  them  for  all  of  that,  and  they  were  2.  part 
of  me.  Not  as  acts  to  be  repented  of  and  forgiven, 
but  dispositions  lying  behind  the  acts,  and  prompt- 
ings thereto,  natural  to  the  old  man  and  insepara- 
ble from  his  presence  in  my  being.  I  began  to  ask 
God,  with  a  measure  of  faith,  to  "  cast  him  out." 
Along  with  this  desire  there  came  a  great  "  hunger 
and  thirst  "  to  be  "  filled  with  all  the  fullness  of 
God."  I  longed  for  a  ''  clean  heart  and  a  constant 
spirit."  In  such  an  attitude  of  soul  I  attended  a 
social  meeting  for  conference  and  prayer  on  a  mem- 
orable evening  early  in  September,  1869.  As  I 
went  upon  my  knees  it  was  with  the  resolute  pur- 
pose of  '"''  presenting  my  body  a  living  sacrifice  to 
God."  Such  were  my  relations  with  him  that  I 
saw  a  new  light  and  a  new  privilege  in  entire  eonse- 
cratioHy  and  set  about  it  with  great  delight.  But  I 
speedily  found  myself  in  the  midst  of  a  severe  con- 
flict. There  passed  quickly  before  me  the  obstacles 
in  the  way,  and  the  "  things  to  be  suffered  for  Jesus* 
sake."  The  misapprehensions,  suspicions,  and 
revilings  of  carnal  professors,  as  well  as  the  conflicts 
with  the  world,  the  flesh,  and  the  devil.  And  they 
were  not  the  exaggerations  of  fancy,  either;  selfish- 
ness, pride  and  prejudice  joined  forces  and  rose  in 
rebellion,  while  the  '*  old  man  "  pleaded  for  his  life. 
But  I  could  not,  would  not  draw  back.  ^'  Vile  affec- 
tions "  were  resolutely  nailed  to  the  cross,  and 
those  things  that  "  were  gain   to  me  " — denomina- 


DAVID   B.    UPDEGRAFF.  29 

tional  standing,  family,  business,  friends,  posses- 
sions, time,  talent  and  reputation — were  irrevocably 
committed  to  the  sovereign  control  and  disposal  of 
my  Almighty  Saviour.  With  my  all  upon  the  altar 
I  had  no  sooner  reckoned  myself  "  dead  indeed 
unto  sin  and  alive  unto  God  "  than  the  "  Holy 
Ghost  fell "  upon  me.  Instantly  I  felt  the 
melting  and  refining  fire  of  God  permeating  my 
whole  being.  I  had  entered  into  rest.  I  was 
nothing  and  nobody,  and  glad  that  it  was  forever 
settled  that  way.  It  was  a  conscious  luxury  to  get 
rid  of  ambitions  and  self-will,  and  have  my  heart 
cry  out  for  nothing  but  the  will  of  God.  I  was 
deeply  conscious  of  his  presence  and  of  his  sanctify- 
ing work.  It  was  not  an  effort  to  realize  that  I 
loved  the  Lord  with  all  my  heart  and  mind  and 
strength,  and  my  neighbor  as  myself.  The  inmost 
calm  and  repose  in  God,  of  that  time,  that  day, 
that  hour,  was  a  wonder  to  me  then,  and  it  continues 
to  be  so  still.  It  was,  and  it  is,  the  "•  peace  of  God 
that  passeth  understanding."  The  witness  of  the 
Spirit  to  entire  sanctification  was  as  clear  and 
unmistakable  to  my  own  soul  as  it  was  in  the 
experience  of  justification.  I  have  had  abundant 
time  and  occasion  in  the  nearly  nineteen  years  that 
have  passed,  to  scrutinize  and  test  the  reality  and 
nature  of  the  work  wrought  then,  and  perpetuate^ 
since  by  the  power  of  the  Holy  Ghost.  In  and  of 
myself  I  am  neither  holier  nor  stronger  than  before. 


30  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

But  I  have  learned  that  this  wondrous  baptism 
with  the  Holy  Ghost  is  the  secret  of  stability  in  the 
Christian  character  as  well  as  success.  True,  it  is 
not  a  state  that  is  necessarily  immutable,  but  rather 
a  mode  of  life  which  may  and  ought  to  be  main- 
tained by  a  perpetual  faith  in  Jesus  and  his  prom- 
ises. His  constant  abiding  perpetuates  a  disposi- 
tion to  do  the  will  of  God.  And  our  obedience  in 
allowing  him  to  ''  work  in  us  to  will  and  to  do  of 
his  own  good  pleasure  "  constrains  him  to  abide.  I 
have  proven  the  secret  of  victory  in  this  life  to  be 
quietness,  assurance,  and  obedience,  loving  God 
supremely.  It  must  be  a  supreme  dread  lest  we 
offend  him.  And  if  grieving  the  Spirit  of  God 
is  regarded  as  the  greatest  evil  that  could  befall  us, 
the  fear  of  man  will  not  ensnare  our  feet,  and  our 
eyes  will  keep  single  and  the  whole  body  full  of 
light.  Let  Satan  stretch  the  last  link  in  his  chain — 
it  is  still  too  short ;  he  cannot  reach  us.  For  the 
*'  mighty  to  save  "  is  both  able  and  willing  to  keep 
his  own  from  the  commission  of  sin,  as  well  as  to 
atone  for  and  pardon  sins  already  committed.  Bless 
his  holy  name.  "  He  that  overcometh,  the  same 
shall  be  clothed  in  white  raiment."  ''And  they  over- 
came him  by  the  blood  of  the  Lamb  and  the  word  of 
their  testimony,  and  they  loved  not  their  lives  unto 

the  death."     Amen. 

DAVID  B.  UPDEGRAFF. 

Mt.  Pleasant,  C,  Third  Month,  Fifth  Day,  1888. 


FANNIE   J.  SPARKES.  3  I 


IIL 


FANNIE  J.  SPARKES, 

(METHODIST.) 

T  WAS  blessed  with  Christian  parents  and  the 
*i  advantages  of  religious  training.  At  the  age 
of  thirteen,  during  a  revival  in  the  Methodist 
Episcopal  Church  of  Binghamton,  N.  Y.,  under 
the  pastorate  of  Rev.  A.  P.  Mead,  I  became  deeply 
convicted  of  sin  and  sought  the  Lord  earnestly  and 
sincerely.  I  had  an  erroneous  idea  of  the  witness 
of  the  Spirit,  and  was  expecting  some  wonderful 
change  to  be  instantaneously  wrought  in  my  heart. 
The  sense  of  condemnation  gradually  gave  place  to 
peace  and  sometimes  joy ;  yet  I  could  not  say  I 
had  the  witness  of  the  Spirit  to  my  conversion. 

On  the  advice  of  my  parents  and  pastor,  though 
with  many  misgivings,  I  then  united  with  the 
church.  During  ten  years  that  followed  I  was 
counted  a  consistent  member,  and  was  active  in 
church  and  Sunday-school  work.  I  loved  God's 
written  word,  loved  secret  prayer,  and  occasionally 
had  remarkable  answers  to  prayer.  Much  of  the 
time,  I  know  now,  I  enjoyed  communion  with  God  ; 
yet  I  was  constantly  anxious,  and  troubled  with 
doubts  of  my  acceptance,  because  I  could  not  tell 
the  exact  time  of  my  conversion. 


32  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

In  August,  1869,  after  a  severe  struggle,  I  re- 
solved to  seek  no  longer  for  the  witness  of  the 
Spirit,  but  to  trust  Jesus  as  my  Saviour  through 
life,  without  light  or  joy,  should  he  so  will  it,  and 
appear  before  him,  at  the  last,  pleading  only  his 
word  of  promise. 

I  was  led  to  see  that  I  had  made  a  mistake  in 
looking  for  great  blessings  instead  of  thankfully  ac- 
cepting and  acknowledging  those  given.  A  few  days 
later  "  he  that  believeth  hath  the  witness  in  him- 
self "  came  home  to  me  with  great  power,  and  from 
that  time  I  have  never  doubted  my  acceptance  of 
the  Father,  through  his  Son,  nor  had  a  single  mis- 
giving in  regard  to  the  witness  of  the  Spirit.  The 
struggle  of  years  was  ended  ;  I  rested  joyfully  in 
Christ  and  was  loyally  obedient  to  him. 

I  had  often  earnestly  desired  the  blessing  of  per- 
fect love  and  had  sought  it  for  a  time,  but  relin- 
quished the  search  through  fear  that  I  was  not  yet 
regenerated.  Some  of  my  friends  thought  I  had 
now  received  this  blessing,  but  the  Spirit  witnessed 
clearly  to  my  heart  that  this  was  the  "  washing  of 
regeneration  and  renewing  of  the  Holy  Ghost "  in 
the  ''  spirit  of  adoption." 

The  following  spring  I  was  called  by  the  Woman's 
Foreign  Missionary  Society  of  our  Church  to  the 
work  of  a  missionary  in  India,  and  God,  by  his  Spirit, 
so  wrought  in  my  heart  that  I  knew — with  all  the 
certainty  I  then  knew  I  was  his  child — that  it  was 


FANNIE  J.  SPARKES.  33 

his  call,  and  I  dared  not  refuse  to  follow.     I  sailed 
for  India  September  22,  1870. 

New  experiences,  new  duties,  and  peculiar  trials 
brought  a  new  sense  of  need,  and  1871  and  1872 
were  years  of  constant  reaching  out  after  God.  It 
was  my  privilege  to  be  associated  in  1872  with  Rev. 
and  Mrs.  C.  W.  Judd,  who  encouraged  me  to  seek 
for  perfect  love,  and  greatly  helped  me  in  it.  As 
new  light  was  given  I  saw  that  my  will  was  not,  as 
I  had  supposed  it  to  be,  in  perfect  harmony  with 
God's  will.  I  resolved  that  my  consecration  should 
be  complete,  cost  what  it  might.  The  Holy  Spirit 
■wonderfully  helped  me  in  heart-searchings  as  I 
prayed  for  light,  until  every  thing  was,  I  knew, 
laid  upon  the  altar,  and  I  could  say,  ''  I  am  pros- 
trate in  the  dust ;  I  with  Christ  am  crucified."  At 
last,  after  weary  months  of  seeking,  and  feeling  that 
I  could  not  take  by  faith  so  great  a  blessing,  I 
knelt  by  my  bedside  one  evening  in  December  with 
the  determination  not  to  leave  the  room  until  vic- 
tory should  be  mine.  While  pleading,  the  Spirit 
whispered,  ''  You  have  given  yourself  with  all  your 
soul  and  body's  powers  unreservedly  to  God.  Why 
not  trust  him  now  to  keep  that  you  have  committed 
unto  him  ?  "  I  laid  hold  of  the  word,  ''  He  is  able 
to  keep,"  etc.  I  said,  ''  I  do  trust  myself  into  thy 
keeping,  and  will,  by  an  act  of  faith,  hold  myself 
steadily  there  until  thou  shalt  set  the  Spirit's  seal." 

Morning  was  about  dawning.     Throughout  that 
3 


34  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

day,  while  engaged  in  its  duties,  I  kept  claiming  and 
realizing  from  moment  to  moment  perfect  keep- 
ing power.  At  our  consecration  meeting  that  even- 
ing, led  by  Dr.  Scott,  although  I  greatly  shrank 
from  so  doing,  I  felt  that  I  must  honor  God  with 
my  testimony.  I  stated  as  nearly  as  possible  just 
my  position,  and  as  I  ceased  speaking  my  heart  was 
filled  with  a  sense  of  God's  wonderful  love  and 
power,  and  with  the  assurance  that  he  saved  me  to 
the  uttermost. 

During  the  days  that  followed  I  seemed  to  be 
living  in  an  atmosphere  of  heaven.  I  was  lifted 
out  of  and  above  myself  and  surroundings,  and  real- 
ized that  I  was  wholly  saved  and  sweetly  kept,  en- 
folded in  the  everlasting  arms.  The  desire  for  the 
salvation  of  souls  was  all-absorbing,  so  that,  im- 
pelled by  a  power  within,  and  yet  not  of  me,  I 
labored  incessantly,  allowing  myself  hardly  time  to 
eat  or  sleep,  but  O,  what  joy  I  experienced  in  labor, 
what  help  and  what  blessing ! 

After  about  three  weeks  of  this  unvarying  experi- 
ence, I  awoke  one  morning  with  the  consciousness 
that  the  Spirit's  help  was  withdrawn.  I  was  as  one 
who  had  been  standing  on  the  top  of  a  high  mount- 
ain reaching  unto  heaven,  drinking  in  fresh  beauty 
and  glory  at  every  breath,  suddenly  let  down  into 
a  low,  shut-in  valley,  without  any  knowledge  of  how, 
when,  or  why  he  came  there.  I  knew  the  witness 
of  the  Spirit  to  full  salvation  had  been  clear  when  I 


FANNIE   J.  SPARKES.  35 

closed  my  eyes  in  sleep.     I  knew  I  had  not  grieved 
the  Spirit.    The  suggestion  came, ''  You  testified  too 
soon  and  never  received  the  blessing  you  sought."     I 
refuted  the  suggestion  as  best  I  could,  but  began 
the  day's  duties  with  a   heavy  heart.     I  was  exam- 
ining classes  in  the  orphanage,  and  from  six  to  ten 
found  it  very  wearying.     Soon  after  I  involuntarily 
spoke  impatiently  to   a  girl  who  was  very  trying. 
It   was  so  slight  as  to  be  scarcely  noticed   by  the 
class,  but  in  a  moment  I  was  so  overwhelmed  with  a 
sense  of  humiliation  and  sorrow  that  I  felt  obliged 
to  retire  to  my  room,  where  I  humbled  myself  be- 
fore the  Lord  and  claimed  forgiveness  for  the  sin.  I 
had  read  a  statement  said  to  have  been  taken  from 
John  Wesley's  journal,    that,   notwithstanding  his 
very  arduous  labors,  he  never  knew  what  it  was  to 
feel  in  the  least  wearied,  and  thought  this  the  priv- 
ilege of  all  Christians  fully  saved.     I  thought,  if  this 
be  true,  there  is  so  much   needing    to  be  done  in 
India  I  need  never  feel  weary  while  toiling  here. 
My  friends  had  told  me   I   was    going  beyond  my 
strength  ;  but  I  thought  not.    Now  I  realized  that  in 
addition  to  the  Spirit's  withdrawal  I  was  physically 
prostrated.     Satan  whispered,   '*  You  see  you  were 
mistaken  in    regard  to  that;  the   whole  thing  has 
been  a  mistake."     Afterward,  though  not  then,  I 
saw  that  God  permitted  this  experience  not  only  to 
teach    me   to   live   by  faith,    but   also   what    I  was 
always  apt  to  forget,  that  ''  we  have  this  treasure  in 


36  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

earthen  vessels."  While  I  did  not  then  really  let 
go  my  hold  on  God  I  was  bewildered  and  stag- 
gered, and,  in  a  measure,  shorn  of  my  strength. 

I  think  I  enjoyed  the  blessing  for  two  years  or 
more  after  this,  but  did  not  walk  in  the  clear  light 
as  I  might  have  done  had  I  not,  through  fear,,  be- 
come cautious  about  confessing  Christ  as  my 
Saviour  to  the  uttermost.  Here  was  my  fatal  mis- 
take, and  I  am  not  surprised  that  my  light  became 
dim  until  it  gradually  died  out.  As  soon  as  I  real- 
ized that  the  Comforter  was  gone  I  began  again 
seeking  his  presence,  but  found  it  much  harder  to 
regain  a  lost  experience  than  to  attain  to  it  at  first. 
For  one  year  and  a  half  following  I  realized  much 
of  the  time  great  help  and  comfort  in  the  work,  and 
was  used  in  the  salvation  of  souls;  but  I  longed  for 
full  salvation  and  for  greater  power  in  the  work. 
I  was  so  bowed  down  with  a  realization  of  my  own 
need,  my  lack  of  power,  and  the  responsibility  of 
the  souls  intrusted  to  my  care,  that  I  often  spent 
nearly  the  whole  night  praying  for  their  salvation, 
and,  literally  bowing  my  face  to  the  ground,  would 
exclaim,  as  did  Moses,  "  Lord,  I  cannot  bear  this 
people  alone,  because  they  are  too  much  for  me." 

In  September,  1876,1  was  holding  daily  meetings 
in  the  girls'  orphanage,  of  which  I  had  charge,  and 
for  two  weeks  no  one  started  to  seek  the  Lord.  I 
closed  the  meetings  and  went  to  Lucknow  to  a 
camp-meeting  then  in  progress. 


FANNIE  J.  SPARKES.  3/ 

At  one  of  the  afternoon  meetings,  where  many 
were  seeking  entire  consecration,  I  stated  my  ear- 
nest desire  for  a  baptism  of  power,  and  asked  if  it 
might  be  definitely  sought  and  found.  Brother 
Dennis  Osborn,  who  was  leading  the  meeting,  en- 
couraged me  to  seek  it  expectantly  now.  I  recon- 
secrated myself  to  God,  reckoned  myself  wholly  his, 
and  waited  for  the  baptism. 

The  next  morning,  while  reading  Isa.  32,  new 
light  shone  upon  the  word  from  the  15th  to  the 
20th  verses,  and  especially  upon  the  17th:  ''And 
the  work  of  righteousness  shall  be  peace,  and  the 
effect  of  righteousness  quietness  and  assurance 
forever." 

I  knew  the  work  of  grace  wrought  in  my  heart 
through  taking  Christ  as  my  righteousness  had 
brought  peace,  and  the  effect  of  the  finished  work, 
the  abiding  Christ,  was,  I  saw,  the  quietness  of  rest- 
ing down  low  at  the  feet  of  Jesus,  listening,  ready 
to  obey  his  voice  and  the  assurance  that  he  would 
himself  do  the  work,  only  through  me.  The  words 
given  me  to  speak  should  be  his  words,  with  his 
power  accompanying  them.  In  an  instant,  I  know 
not  how,  my  soul  anchored  to  the  words,  and  the 
baptism  came — the  assurance  that  Christ,  in  me  and 
through  me,  was  to  be  to  me  a  power  not  before 
known.  I  was  to  go  forth  strong  in  the  Lord  and 
in  the  power  of  his  might. 

I  returned  to  my  work    in    Bareilly,  again  com- 


38  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

menced  meetings  in  the  orphanage,  and  in  two 
weeks'  time  more  than  fifty  of  our  dear  girls  were 
clearly  converted. 

Two  months  later  I  was  obliged  to  return  to 
America  on  sick  leave,  but  I  had  never  before  seen 
such  results  in  the  work  as  during  these  two 
months.  Instead  of  so  much  struggling  and  doing 
I  could  almost  ''  stand  still  and  see  the  salvation  of 
God.'*  The  full  assurance  of  faith  was  mine.  My 
words,  though  fewer,  more  simple  and  more  direct, 
were,  I  knew,  God-given  and  could  not  be  fruitless. 
I  had  learned,  at  least  in  a  measure,  what  oneness 
with  Christ  meant,  and  realized  such  nearness  to 
him  that  when  I  knelt  in  secret  prayer  I  was  in  the 
conscious  immediate  presence  of  Christ,  and  knew 
my  prayer  was  answered  almost  before  I  could  call. 

The  most  of  the  time  since  then  the  witness  of 
perfect  love  has  been  clear.  My  experiences  have 
been  varied  and  new  tests  have  been  frequently 
given.  The/////  assurance  of  faith  and  t\\Q  fullness 
of  the  Spirit  have  not  always  been  mine,  but  I  have 
realized  access  to  God  by  faith  and  power  in  work- 
ing for  Christ,   which   could    not  have   been  mine 

without  this  rest  of  faith. 

F.  J.  SPARKES. 

BiNGHAMTON,  N.  Y    Marck  6,  1888. 


DANIEL  STEELE.  39 


IV. 

REV.  DANIEL  STEELE,  D.D. 

(METHODIST.) 

T  WAS  born  into-this  world  in  Windham,  N.  Y., 
i)    October  5,  1824;    into  the  kingdom  of  God  in 
Wilbraham,  Mass.,  in  the  spring  of  1842.     I  could 
never  write  the  day  of  my  spiritual  birth,  so  grad- 
ually  did  the  light  dawn  upon  me  and  so  lightly 
was  the  seal  of  my  justification  impressed  upon  my 
consciousness.     This  was  a  source  of  great  trial  and 
seasons  of  doubt  in  the  first  years  of  my  Christian 
hfe.     I  coveted  a  conversion  of  the  Pauline  type. 
My  call  to  the  ministry  was  more  marked  and  un- 
doubted than  my  justification.    Through  a  mother's 
prayers  and  consecration  of  her  unborn  child  to  the 
ministry  of  the  word  I   may  say,  "To  this  end  was 
I  born,  and  for  this  cause  came  I  into  the  world, 
that  I  should  bear  witness  to  the  truth."    My  early 
religious  experience  was  variable,  and  for  the  most 
part  consisted  in 

"  Sorrows  and  sins,  and  doubts  and  fears, 
A  howling  wilderness." 

The  personality  of  the  Holy  Spirit  was  rather  an 
article  of  faith  than  a  joyful  realization.  He  had 
breathed  into  me  life,  but  not  the  more  abundant 


40  FORTY    WITNESSES. 

life.  In  a  sense  I  was  free,  but  not  '^  free  indeed  ;  " 
free  from  the  guilt  and  dominion  of  sin,  but  not 
from  strong  inward  tendencies  thereto,  which  seemed 
to  be  a  part  of  my  nature.  In  my  early  ministry, 
being  hereditarily  a  Methodist  in  doctrine,  I  be- 
lieved in  the  possibility  of  entire  sanctification  in 
this  life,  instantaneously  wrought.  How  could  I 
doubt  it  in  the  light  of  my  mother's  exemplification 
of  its  reality?  I  sought  quite  earnestly,  at  times, 
but  failed  to  find  any  thing  more  than  transient  up- 
lifts from  the  dead  level.  One  of  these,  in  1852, 
was  so  marked  that  it  delivered  me  from  doubt  on 
the  question  of  regeneration.  These  uplifts  all 
came  while  earnestly  struggling  after  entire  sanctifi- 
cation as  a  distinct  blessing.  But  when  I  embraced 
the  theory  that  this  work  is  gradual,  and  not  instan- 
taneous, these  blessed  uplifts  ceased.  For,  seeing 
no  definite  line  to  be  crossed,  my  faith  ceased  to 
put  forth  its  strongest  energies.  In  this  condition, 
a  period  of  fifteen  years,  I  became  exceedingly  dis- 
satisfied and  hungry.  God  had  something  better 
for  me.  He  saw  that  so  great  was  my  mental  be- 
wilderment, through  the  conflict  of  opinion  in  my 
own  denomination  relative  to  Christian  perfection, 
that  I  would  flounder  on,  ''in  endless  mazes  lost," 
and  never  enter 

"  The  land  of  corn  and  wine  and  oil," 

unless   he,    in  mercy,  should  lead  me  by  another 


REV.    DANIEL   STEELE,    D.D.  4I 

road  than  that  which  has  the  finger-board  set  up 
by  John  Wesley.  I  was  led  by  the  study  of  the 
promised  Paraclete  to  see  that  he  signified  far  more 
than  I  had  realized  in  the  new  birth,  and  that  a 
personal  Pentecost  was  awaiting  me.  I  sought  in 
downright  earnestness.  Then  the  Spirit  uncovered 
to  my  gaze  the  evil  still  lurking  in  my  nature ;  the 
mixed  motives  with  which  I  had  preached,  often 
preferring  the  honor  which  comes  from  men  to  that 
which  comes  from  God. 

I  submitted  to  every  test  presented  by  the  Holy 
^Spirit  and  publicly  confessed  what  he  had  revealed, 
and  determined  to  walk  alone  with  God  rather  than 
with  the  multitude  in  the  world  or  in  the  Church. 
I  immediately  began  to  feel  a  strange  freedom, 
daily  increasing,  the  cause  of  which  I  did  not  dis- 
tinctly apprehend.  I  was  then  led  to  seek  the  con- 
scious and  joyful  presence  of  the  Comforter  in  my 
heart.  Having  settled  the  question  that  this  was 
not  merely  an  apostolic  blessing,  but  for  all  ages— 
*' He  shall  abide  with  you  forever" — I  took  the 
promise,  *'  Verily,  verily,  I  say  unto  you,  whatsoever 
ye  shall  ask  the  Father  in  my  name,  he  will  give  it 
you."  The  "verily"  had  to  me  all  the  strength  of 
an  oath.  Out  of  the  "whatsoever"  I  took  all  tem- 
poral blessings,  not  because  I  did  not  believe  them 
to  be  included,  but  because  1  was  not  then  seeking 
them.  I  then  wrote  my  own  name  in  the  promise, 
not  to   exclude   others,  but   to  be  sure  that   I   in- 


42  FORTY   WITNESSES. 

eluded  myself.  Then,  writing  underneath  these 
words,  *'  To-day  is  the  day  of  salvation,"  I  found 
that  my  faith  had  three  points  to  master — the  Com- 
forter^ for  vie^  now.  Upon  the  promise  I  ventured 
with  an  act  of  appropriating  faith,  claiming  the 
Comforter  as  my  right  in  the  name  of  Jesus.  For 
several  hours  I  clung  by  naked  faith,  praying  and 
repeating  Charles  Wesley's  hymn — 

"Jesus,  thine  all-victorious  love 
Shed  in  my  heart  abroad." 

I  then  ran  over  in  my  mind  the  great  facts  in 
Christ's  life,  especially  dwelling  upon  Gethsemane^ 
and  Calvary,  his  ascension,  priesthood,  and  all- 
atoning  sacrifice.  Suddenly  I  became  conscious  of 
a  mysterious  power  exerting  itself  upon  my  sensi- 
bilities. My  physical  sensations,  though  not  of  a 
nervous  temperament,  in  good  health,  alone,  and 
calm,  were  indescribable,  as  if  an  electric  current 
were  passing  through  my  body  with  painless  shocks, 
melting  my  whole  being  into  a  fiery  stream  of  love. 
The  Son  of  God  stood  before  my  spiritual  eye  in 
all  his  loveliness.  This  was  November  17,  1870,  the 
day  most  memorable  to  me.  I  now  for  the  first 
time  realized  "  the  unsearchable  riches  of  Christ." 
Reputation,  friends,  family,  property,  every  thing 
disappeared,  eclipsed  by  the  brightness  of  his  mani- 
festation. He  seemed  to  say  ''  I  have  come  to 
stay."  Yet  there  was  no  uttered  word,  no  phan- 
tasm or  image.     It  was  not  a  trance  or  vision.    The 


REV.    DANIEL   STEELE,    D.D.  43 

affections  were  the  sphere  of  this  wonderful  phe- 
nomenon, best  described  as  ''the  love  of  God  shed 
abroad  in  the  heart  by  the  Holy  Ghost."  It  seemed 
as  if  the  attraction  of  Jesus,  the  loadstone  of  my 
soul,  was  so  strong  that  it  would  draw  the  spirit  out 
of  the  body  upward  into  heaven.  How  vivid  and 
real  was  all  this  to  me!  I  was  more  certain  that 
God  loved  me  than  I  was  of  the  existence  of  the 
solid  earth  and  of  the  shining  sun.  I  intuitively 
apprehended  Christ.  This  certainty  has  lost  none 
of  its  strength  and  sweetness  after  the  lapse  of 
more  than  seventeen  years.  Yea,  it  has  become  more 
real  and  blissful.  Nor  is  this  unphilosophical,  for 
Dr.  McCosh  teaches  that  the  intuitions  are  capable 
of  growth. 

I  did  not  at  first  realize  that  this  was  entire  sanc- 
tification.  The  positive  part  of  my  experience  had 
eclipsed  the  negative,  the  elimination  of  the  sin- 
principle  by  the  cleansing  power  of  the  Paraclete. 
But  it  was  verily  so.  Yet  it  has  always  seemed  to 
me  that  this  was  the  inferior  part  of  the  great 
blessing  of  the  incoming  and  abiding  of  the  whole 
Trinity.     John  14.  23. 

After  seventeen  years  of  life's  varied  experi- 
ences, on  seas  sometimes  very  tempestuous,  in 
sickness  and  in  health,  at  home  and  abroad,  in 
honor  and  dishonor,  in  tests  of  exceeding  severity, 
there  has  come  up  out  of  the  depths  of  neither  my 
conscious  nor  unconscious  being  any  thing  bearing 


44  FORTY   WITNESSES. 

the  ugly  features  of  sin,  the  willful  transgression  of 
the  known  law  of  God.  All  this  time  Satan's  fiery- 
darts  have  been  thickly  flying,  but  they  have  fallen 
harmless  upon  the  invisible  shield  of  faith  in  Jesus 
Christ.  As  to  the  future,  "  I  am  persuaded  that  He 
is  able  to  keep  my  deposit  until  that  day."  In 
regard  to  the  process  of  becoming  established  in 
holiness,  I  find  this  to  be  God's  open  secret — "  to 
walk  by  the  same  rule  and  to  mind  the  same 
thing."  Phil.  3.  16.  The  rule  is,  faith  in  Christ  ever 
increasing  in  strength ;  the  heart  being  fertilized 
with  the  elements  of  faith,  a  knowledge  of  the  Holy 
Scriptures,  the  conscience  being  trained  to  avoid 
not  merely  sinful  and  doubtful  acts,  but  also  those 
whose  moral  quality  is  beyond  the  reach  of  all  eth- 
ical rules,  and  known  to  be  evil  only  by  their 
effect  in  dimming  the  manifestation  of  Christ  within. 
The  rule  of  life,  I  find,  must  be  sufficiently  delicate 
to  exclude  those  acts  which  bring  the  least  blur 
over  the  spiritual  eye.  Heb.  5.  14.  If  any  act  brings 
a  veil  of  the  thinnest  gauze  between  me  and  the 
face  of  Christ  I  henceforth  and  forever  give  it  a 
tremendous  letting  alone. 

As  another  indispensable  to  establishment  in  that 
perfect  love  which  casts  out  all  fear  I  have  found 
the  disposition  to  confess  Christ  in  his  uttermost 
salvation.  As  no  man  could  long  keep  in  his  house 
sensitive  guests  of  whom  he  was  ashamed  before  his 
neighbors,  so  no  man  can  long  have  the  company  of 


REV.    DANIEL   STEELE,    D.D.  45 

the  Father,  Son  and  Holy  Spirit  in  the  temple  of 
his  heart  while  ashamed  of  their  presence  or  their 
purifying  work. 

In  this  respect  I  follow  no  man's  formula.  The 
words  which  the  spirit  of  inspiration  teaches  in  the 
Holy  Scriptures,  though  beclouded  with  misunder- 
standings and  beslimed  with  fanaticisms,  are,  after 
all,  the  most  appropriate  vehicle  for  the  expression 
of  the  wonderful  work  of  God  in  perfecting  holiness 
in  the  human  spirit,  soul  and  body. 

I  testify  that  it  is  possible  for  believers  to  be  so 
filled  with  the  Holy  Ghost  that  they  can  live  many 
years  on  the  earth  conscious  every  day  of  a  meet- 
ness  for  the  inheritance  of  the  saints  in  light,  and  of 
no  shrinking  back,  because  of  a  felt  need  of  further 
inward  cleansing,  from  an  instant  translation  into 
the  society  of  the  holy  angels  and  into  the  presence 
of  the  holy  God.  This  was  my  daily  experience 
since  1870.  I  have  the  Johannean  evidence  that  my 
love  is  pure  and  unmixed— that  is,  perfected— in  the 
fact  that  I  have  boldness  in  view  of  the  day  of  judg- 
ment, (i  John  4.  17,  18,  Dean  Alford's  Notes.)  This 
joyful  boldness  is  grounded  on  the  assurance  of  a 
conformity  to  the  image  of  the  Son  of  God,  and 
that  I  am,  through  the  transfiguring  power  of  the 
Spirit,  like  him  in  purity,  and  that  the  Judge  will 
not  condemn  fac  similes  of  himself,  "  because,  even 
as  he  is,  so  are  we  in  this  world." 

Yet  I  am  conscious  of  errors,  ignorances,  infirmi- 


46  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

ties  and  defects,  which,  though  consistent  with  per- 
fect loyalty  and  love  to  God,  need,  and  by  faith 
receive,  every  moment,  the  merit  of  Christ's  death. 
In  other  words,  the  ground  of  my  standing  before 
God  is  neither  perfect  rectitude  in  the  past  nor  a 
faultless  present  service,  but  the  divine  mercy  as 
administered  through  Jesus  Christ.     Hence  I  daily 

pray,  "  Forgive  us  our  debts." 

DANIEL  STEELE. 

Boston,  March,  1888. 


REV.   EDGAR   M.    LEVY,   D.D.  47 


1 


V. 

REV.  EDGAR  M.  LEVY,  D.D. 

(BAPTIST.) 

T  pleased  God  in  my  earliest  childhood  to  call 
me  by  his  Holy  Spirit.  As  far  back  as  memory 
will  allow  me  to  go  I  can  recall  seasons  of  great 
distress  on  account  of  sin.  When  other  children 
around  me  were  busy  at  play  I  would  often  invent 
some  excuse  to  withdraw,  that  I  might  find  a  place 
where  I  could  weep  before  God  in  secret. 

The  weary  burden  grew  heavier  with  my  increas- 
ing years.  As  fast  as  my  mental  powers  were  de- 
veloped so  as  to  understand,  in  a  measure,  the  law 
of  God,  my  condemnation  and  ruin  became  more 
alarmingly  real.  I  cannot  look  back  to  this  period 
of  life  as  men  usually  do.  They  were  not  to  me 
days  of  mirth,  but  days  in  which  even  childhood's 
laughter  was  turned  into  weeping  and  its  buoyancy 
into  heaviness. 

My  parents,  who  were  intelligent,  cheerful,  and 
exemplary  Christians,  were  connected  with  the 
Chambers  Presbyterian  Church,  and  resided,  at 
this  time,  remote  from  the  sanctuary  of  their  choice 
and  opposite  a  Methodist  church.  Here  I  would 
occasionally  attend,  and  listen  to  the  sainted  Pitman 


48  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

and  other  faithful  men  of  God.  It  was  at  this  time, 
when  only  thirteen  years  of  age,  that  the  burden  of 
sin  was  removed,  and  I  had  peace  with  God  through 
our  Lord  Jesus  Christ.  I  can  remember  the  very 
place,  time,  and  circumstances  in  which  this  won- 
drous change  occurred.  For  many  days  I  had  gone 
sorrowing.  I  cried  unto  God  for  the  pardon  prom- 
ised to  the  penitent ;  but  he  seemed  deaf  to  my 
entreaties.  One  night  in  the  great  congregation  I 
presented  myself  for  prayer  ;  but  no  peace  came. 
I  returned  home  and  retired  at  once  to  my  cham- 
ber. I  knelt  near  the  window  and  heard,  or  seemed 
to  hear,  the  voice  of  One  saying  unto  me,  *'  I  love 
them  that  love  me ;  and  they  that  seek  me  early 
shall  find  me."  That  promise  was  mine.  It  was 
my  Father's  assurance  of  a  loving  welcome.  It  was 
but  a  moment,  and  I  was  in  his  arms.  It  was  a 
rapturous  hour.  All  things  were  changed.  Sorrow- 
ing and  sighing  fled  from  my  bosom.  The  Spirit  of 
God  witnessed  with  my  spirit  that  I  was  born  again. 
''  Being  justified  by  faith,  I  had  peace  with  God." 
I  never  afterward  had  a  doubt  of  my  conversion. 
Even  in  the  most  unsatisfactory  days  of  my  Chris- 
tian life  I  could  not  question  the  reality  of  the 
work  of  grace  in  my  youthful  heart. 

In  my  twenty-first  year  I  was  ordained  pastor  of 
the  First  Baptist  Church,  West  Philadelphia,  then 
just  organized.  Here  God  greatly  blessed  my 
labors  in  the  salvation  of  sinners.     I  often  marveled 


REV.    EDGAR    M.    LEVY,   D.D.  49 

how  one  so  partially  consecrated  could  be  so  suc- 
cessful. I  am  conscious  now  that  I  was  proud  of 
my  success,  and  that  it  was  needful  for  God  to 
humble  and  afflict  me. 

After  a  pastorate  of  fourteen  years  I  accepted  a 
call  to  Newark,  N.  J.  Here,  also,  God  wonderfully 
blessed  my  labors,  and  hundreds  were  added  to  the 
Church.  But  O,  how  were  all  my  services,  even 
the  best,  mixed  with  selfishness,  ambition,  and 
pride  !  A  consciousness  of  this  often  filled  me  with 
shame  and  sorrow.  Then  I  would  make  a  new 
effort  to  improve  my  life  by  more  watchfulness, 
zeal,  and  prayer;  and  although  failure  was  sure  to 
follow,  yet,  not  knowing  of  any  better  method,  I 
would   tread   the  same  weary  road  over  and   over 

again. 

Severe  afflictions  visited  me.     The  sweetest  voice 

of  the  household  group  was  hushed  ;  the  brightest 

eyes  were  darkened  in  death  ;  health  failed  ;  many 

friends  proved  unreliable ;  hopes  withered,  and  the 

way  grew  rough  and  thorny.     My  unsanctified  soul, 

instead  of  learning  submission,  became  impatient  of 

restraint,    would    sometimes    murmur    against   the 

dealings  of  God  with  me,  question  his  wisdom,  and 

doubt  his  love.     These  feelings  would  not  always 

prevail.      There    would    be    periods    of    relenting. 

Mortified  at  the  indulgence  of  unchristian  passions, 

I  could  not  refrain  from  weeping  before  God  with 

true  contrition  of  heart  ;  but  it  was  only  to  return 

4 


50  FORTY  WTTxN'ESSES. 

to  the  same  bitter  experience.  That  mafVelous 
portrait  which  is  hung  up  in  the  seventh  chapter 
of  Romans,  and  which  portrays  the  fearful  struggle 
between  will  and  power — between  the  evil  that  is 
hated  and  yet  committed,  and  the  good  that  is  ap- 
proved and  yet  not  performed — is  a  faithful  picture 
of  my  condition  at  this  time. 

After  a  residence  of  ten  years  in  Newark  I  re- 
turned, in  the  autumn  of  1868,  to  the  scene  of  my 
early  labors,  and  became  pastor  of  the  Berean 
Baptist  Church,  Philadelphia.  Here  I  found  the 
religious  condition  of  the  members  of  my  new 
charge  as  unsatisfactory  as  my  own.  They  were 
in  a  cold,  barren,  worldly  state.  I  have  sel- 
dom seen  a  church  more  broken  and  paralyzed.  I 
grieved  for  them  with  tender  compassion.  This 
solicitude  in  their  behalf  produced  a  fresh  conscious- 
ness of  my  own  imiperfections.  I  hated  sin.  I  felt 
that  it  weakened  my  moral  powers,  grieved  the 
Holy  Spirit,  interrupted  my  communion  with  God 
and  impaired  my  usefulness.  One  Sunday  after- 
noon I  entered  my  school-room  unusually  depressed. 
A  sense  of  utter  helplessness  came  over  me.  As 
my  tear-dimmed  eyes  surveyed  the  school  I  was 
painfully  moved  by  the  number  of  adult  scholars 
who  were  unconverted.  I  returned  to  my  study 
crying,  "  Who  is  sufficient  for  these  things  ?" 

In  February,  1871,  Mr.  Purdy,  an  evangelist,  was 
holding  meetings  in  the  Methodist  church  adjacent 


REV.    EDGAR    M.    LEVY,    D.D.  $1 

to  mine.     I  was   invited   by   the  pastor   to  attend 
these  efforts  to  promote  Christian  hoHness.     I  went 
timidly  at   first,  and  yet   I   continued   to   go  every 
afternoon  for  several  days.     There  were  divine  in- 
fluences drawing  me  there.     Many  Christians  from 
different   churches  were  also  in  attendance.      Day 
after  day,  with  meekness  and  gentleness,  and  yet 
with  unwavering  confidence,  they  told  the  story  of 
long  years  of  conflict,  and  of  ultimate  and  complete 
triumph    through    simple   faith    in    the  blood   that 
cleanses  from  all  sin,  of  their  soul-rest  and  abiding 
peace,  of  their  power  with  God   and  man,  and  the 
fullness  of  their  joy.     At  first  I  became  deeply  in- 
terested, and  then  my  heart  began  to  melt.     I  said  : 
These  Christians  are  certainly  in  possession    of  a 
secret  of  wonderful  power  and  sweetness.      What 
can  it  be?"  Is   it  justification?     No;  it  cannot  be 
that.     I  have  experienced  the  blessing  of  justifica- 
tion ;  by  it  I  have  been  absolved  from   all  my  past 
sins ;  by  it  I  stand  in  the  righteousness  of  Christ, 
and  every  privilege  of  a  child  of  God,  and  every  grace 
of  the  blessed  Holy  Spirit,  has  been  secured  to  me  ; 
but  I  do  not  realize  that  it  has  destroyed  the  power 
of  inbred  sin,  or  ended  ''  the  war  in  my  members," 
or  brought  to  me  complete  rest  of  soul.     I  have 
peace  ;  but  it  is  often  broken  by  *'  fear  which  has 
torment."     I  am  conscious  of  loving  God,  but  like 
some  sickly,  flickering  flame,  I  am  expecting  every 
moment  to  see   it  expire  altogether.     I  have  joy. 


52  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

but,  like  a  shallow  brook,  the  drought  exhausts  it. 
I  have  faith,  but  it  is  such  a  poor,  weak  thing,  that 
I  am  in  doubt,  sometimes,  whether  it  is  faith  at  all. 
*'  I  hate  vain  thoughts ;  "  and  yet  they  continue  to 
come,  and  seem  at  home  in  my  mind.  I  believe 
that  Jesus  saves  from  sin ;  and  yet  I  sin  from  day 
to  day,  and  the  dark  stains  are  every-where  visible. 
Prayer  is  inestimably  sweet  ;  but,  alas  !  it  often  be- 
comes an  effort.  To  work  for  Christ  is  a  great  privi- 
lege; but  it  often  wearies  me  or  degenerates  into  mere 
routine.  The  ordinances  of  religion  yield  comfort 
and  strength  ;  but  I  find  as  often  that  all  spirituality 
and  power  have  retreated  from  them,  leaving  their 
channels  dry.  I  sometimes  get  glimpses  of  Him 
whom  my  soul  loveth,  but,  O !  how  soon  the  bright 
vision  fades;  and  "he  hideth  himself  is  again  the 
deep,  earnest  cry  of  my  heart.  Now,  these  believers 
have  an  experience  altogether  different  from  mine. 
Once,  it  is  true,  they  felt  as  I  feel,  and  mourned  as 
I  mourn,  over  broken  vows,  sinful  tempers,  inter- 
mittent devotions,  and  repeated  failures.  But  a 
wonderful  change  is  now  manifest.  "They  are 
rooted  and  grounded  in  love."  ''  Being  made  free 
from  sin,"  they  now  bring  forth  fruit  unto  holiness. 
Having  purged  themselves  from  all  filthiness  of  the 
flesh  and  spirit  they  have  become  *'  vessels  unto 
honor,  sanctified  and  meet  for  the  Master's  use,  and 
prepared  unto  every  good  work."  My  desires  were 
kindled.     An  insatiable  hunger  seized  my  soul. 


REV.    EDGAR    M.    LEVY,    D.D.  53 

Just  at  this  stage  of  my  experience  the  meetings 
ended,  and  Mr.  Purdy  was  compelled  to  leave  for 
another  appointment.  Before  leaving,  however, 
a  suggestion  was  made,  that  he  might  be  induced 
to  return  and  hold  meetings  in  my  own  church. 
It  was  a  surprise  to  me.  I  was  not  sure  that  my 
people  would  consent.  I  could  do  nothing,  there- 
fore, but  leave  it  for  the  decision  of  the  church  on 
the  coming  Sabbath.  I  did  so,  and,  greatly  to 
my  surprise,  there  was  not  the  slightest  objection 
raised.     It  was  of  the  Lord. 

During  the  ten  days  that  preceded  the  meeting  I 
was  more  than  usually  prayerful.  I  commenced  a 
careful  examination  of  the  doctrine  of  sanctification. 
I  reviewed  my  theological  studies.  I  could  scarcely 
think,  or  read,  or  pray  on  any  other  subject.  I 
conversed  with  intimate  friends  of  my  own  and 
other  denominations.  Nearly  all  of  them  pronounced 
the  views  advanced  as  nothing  else  than  unscriptural 
and  pernicious  errors.  They  admitted  the  exist- 
ence and  universality  of  the  disease,  but  could  tell 
of  no  adequate  remedy  this  side  the  grave.  They 
allowed  that  the  malady  might  be  mollified  ;  but  in 
this  life,  they  affirmed,  it  could  never  be  perfectly 
healed.  I  searched  the  Scriptures,  but,  alas !  my 
^'my  eyes  were  holden,"  so  that  I  could  not  see 
that  perfect  deliverance  from  sin  which  God  has 
provided,  through  the  redemption  of  Christ,  for  his 
believing  people.     Those  passages  in  the  word   of 


54  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

God  which  require  of  all  his  children  holiness  of 
character,  purity  of  heart,  the  entire  sanctification 
of  the  soul,  body  and  spirit,  I  was  led  to  regard, 
from  educational  training,  as  marks — very  high  in- 
deed— after  which  every  Christian  should  aspire, 
but  to  which  no  one  could  ever  attain  ;  or  else  as 
figurative  expressions,  indicating  that  at  conversion 
we  were  made,  in  some  judicial  sense,  holy  before 
God. 

These  views,  however,  could  no  longer  satisfy 
me.  I  had  an  intense  longing  for  something  better. 
With  the  poet,  my  poor  heart  cried  out: 

"  I'm  weary  of  the  strife  within, 
O  let  me  turn  from  self  and  sin  !  " 

The  first  day  of  our  meeting  had  come.  The 
church  was  well  filled.  I  introduced  Mr.  Purdy. 
But  I  had  many  misgivings,  and  a  secret  desire  in 
my  heart  that  he  would  say  nothing  about  sancti- 
fication, but  bend  all  his  efforts  to  the  conversion 
of  sinners.  This,  however,  was  not  his  way.  Like 
a  wise  master-builder,  he  commenced  to  lay  the 
foundation  broad  and  deep.  He  took  our  Confes- 
sion of  Faith,  and  urged,  from  the  teaching  con- 
tained therein,  that  we  should  accept  the  doctrine 
of  sanctification  by  faith.  Our  Covenant  was  next 
produced  ;  and  here  he  reminded  us  that  in  this  we 
solemnly  promised  that  we  would  so  regulate  our 
lives  as  to   enable  us  to  *'  stand  perfect  and  com- 


REV.    EDGAR   M.    LEVY,    D.D.  55 

plete  in  all  the  will  of  God."  Last  of  all,  he  spoke 
of  our  baptism  as  a  beautiful  symbol  of  our  death 
unto  sin,  our  burial  with  Christ,  and  our  resurrec- 
tion to  a  new  and  holy  life.  '*  According  to  your 
form  of  baptism,"  he  said,  "  the  body  is  buried  in 
water  as  the  corpse  is  buried  in  the  grave.  In  all 
your  teachings  on  this  subject  you  insist  that  it  is 
a  figure  of  the  believer's  death  and  burial  unto  sin- 
But  that  is  not  all.  You  not  only  claim,  in  this  act, 
that  you  die  to  sin,  but  that  you  also  rise  to  a  life 
of  holiness.  '  Now,  if  we  be  dead  with  Christ,  we 
believe  that  we  shall  also  live  with  him :  knowing 
that  Christ,  being  raised  from  the  dead,  dieth  no 
more ;  death  hath  no  more  dominion  over  him. 
For  in  that  he  died,  he  died  unto  sin  once :  but  in 
that  he  liveth,  he  liveth  unto  God.  Likewise  reckon 
ye  also  yourselves  to  be  dead  indeed  unto  sin,  but 
alive  unto  God  through  Jesus  Christ  our  Lord.'  " 
(Rom.  6).  With  great  emotion  and  emphasis  he 
said,  ''  You  have  the  type,  the  figure,  the  symbol : 
will  you  deny  the  doctrine,  and  make  what  distin- 
guishes you  as  a  denomination  a  mere  empty,  life- 
less ceremonial?" 

After  the  sermon  a  number  of  persons  bore  testi- 
mony to  the  fullness  and  completeness  of  their 
present  salvation.  They  represented  several  evan- 
gelical denominations — the  Methodist,  the  Episco- 
palian, the  Presbyterian,  the  Friend,  the  Baptist ; 
and  there  was  a  beautiful  harmony  in  all  that  they 


56  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

said.  I  had  no  reason  to  doubt  the  truthfuhiess  of 
their  statements.  *'  I  might  question,"  I  thought, 
"  their  logic,  find  fault  with  their  theories,  and  reject 
their  phraseology;  but  how  could  I  dispose  of  their 
experience?  My  judgment  was  assailed  as  it  had 
never  been  before.  After  the  meeting  I  returned 
to  my  study,  fell  upon  the  floor,  and  poured  out  my 
soul  before  God.  I  did  not  pray  for  pardon,  but 
for  purity.  I  did  not  seek  clearer  evidences  of  my 
acceptance,  but  to  be  "  made  free  from  sin,"  not  in 
a  judicial  or  theological  sense,  but  by  a  real,  con- 
scious, inwrought  holiness. 

That  night  I  was  unable  to  sleep.  I  was  com- 
pletely broken  down  in  heart  before  God.  The 
vision  of  Isaiah  seemed  reproduced.  "  I  saw  also 
the  Lord  sitting  upon  a  throne,  high  and  lifted  up." 
"  Then  said  I,  Woe  is  me !  for  I  am  undone  ;  be- 
cause I  am  a  man  of  unclean  lips,  and  I  dwell  in 
the  midst  of  a  people  of  unclean  lips  ;  for  mine  eyes 
have  seen  the  King,  the  Lord  of  hosts." 

The  morning  at  length  dawned,  and  on  every 
ray  I  could  read,  "  Walk  in  the  light  as  he  is'  in  the 
light."  ''  Holy,  holy,  holy,  is  the  Lord  of  hosts,"  as 
chanted  by  the  seraphim,  seemed  floated  through 
all  the  air.  As  I  thought  of  God,  it  was  not  so 
much  his  power  or  wisdom  or  justice  or  love  that 
attracted  my  attention,  as  his  infinite,  spotless  holi- 
ness. 

That  day,  Friday,  March  9,  1871,  was  observed 


REV.    EDGAR    M.    LEVY,   D.D.  57 

by  the  church  as  a  special  season  of  fasting,  humili- 
ation, and  prayer.     My  soul  was  in  great  agony.     I 
can  compare  my  experience  on  this  memorable  day 
to  nothing  else  than  crucifixion.     It  seemed  to  me 
that  I  had  gone  up  with  Christ  to  Calvary  and  was 
transfixed  to  the  cruel  and  shameful  cross.     A  sense 
of  loneliness  and  abandonment  stole  over  my  mind 
"  An  horror,  of  great  darkness,  fell  upon  me,     and 
all  the  powers  of  hell  assaulted  my  soul.     The  ene- 
my brought  before  me,  with  tremendous  force,  my 
life-long    prejudices,   my   theological   trainmg,  my 
professional  standing,  my  denominational  pnde.     It 
was  suggested  that  I  must  leave  every  thing  behmd 
me  should  I  go  a  step  farther  in  this  direction.     The 
dread  of  being  misunderstood,  of  having  my  motives 
questioned,  of  being  called  "unsound  in  doctrme,    of 
being   slighted   by   my    ministerial    brethren,    and 
treated  with  suspicion  and  coldness,  filled  my  heart 
with  unspeakable  anguish.     Every  thing  appeared 
to  be  sliding  from  under  my  feet.     My  sight  grew 
dim,  my  strength  departed,  and  faintness,  like  unto 

death,  came  upon  me.  ,    .  ,    . 

This  mental  conflict,  however,  soon  subsided. 
The  storm-clouds  passed  away,  and  light  began  to 
stream  in.  I  was  now  done  with  theorizing,  with 
philosophical  doubts  and  vain  speculations.  Ihe 
struggle  was  over.  I  cared  no  longer  for  the  opin- 
ions of  men.  I  was  willing  to  be  a  fool  for  Christ 
and  to  suff-er  the   loss   of  all  things.     I  was  like  a 


58  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

little  child.  I  cried  out,  ''  Teach  me  thy  way,  O 
Lord  !  and  lead  me  in  a  plain  path."  Just  then  the 
fountain  of  cleansing  was  revealed.  Jesus  stood 
before  me,  with  his  bleeding  wounds,  saying,  "  Come 
in  !     Come  in  !  " 

I  turned  to  my  congregation  and  said,  ''  I  stand 
before  you  to-day  a  poor,  weak,  and  helpless  sinner. 
I  have  tried  to  find  the  way  of  holiness  by  every 
possible  means.  All  my  efforts,  my  struggles,  my 
prayers,  my  fasting,  and  my  round  of  duties  have 
proved  miserable  failures.  God  is  making  a  won- 
derful revelation  to  my  long-darkened  understand- 
ing. I  am  confident  now  that  it  is  not  by  growth, 
or  by  effort,  or  by  works  of  any  kind  ;  '  for  then 
would  our  salvation  be  of  works,  and  not  of  grace.' 
'  In  that  day,  saith  the  Lord,  there  shall  be  a  fount- 
ain opened  to  the  house  of  David,  and  to  the  inhab- 
itants of  Jerusalem,  for  sin  and  for  uncleanness.' 
That  day  has  come.  Here  lies  the  fountain  of  my 
Saviour's  blood.     It  was  opened  for  me,  even  me." 

I  fell  upon  my  knees  and  bowed  my  face  to  the 
floor.  For  a  moment  I  felt  that  I  was  sinking  in  a 
great  sea,  and  that  all  its  waves  were  going  over  me. 
But  they  did  not  seem  to  be  the  waters  of  death. 

The  Spirit  of  God  whispered  those  precious 
words  :  ''  But  if  we  walk  in  the  light,  as  he  is  in  the 
light,  we  have  fellowship  one  with  another,  and  the 
blood  of  Jesus  Christ  his  Son  cleanseth  us  from  all 
sin."     My  faith  laid    hold  of  this  wonderful  truth, 


REV.    EDGAR    M.    LEVY,   D,D.  59 

A  strange  peace  entered  into  my  soul.  I  exclaimed 
within  myself,  ''  I  am  free  !  My  heart,  my  soul, 
my  mind,  my  body,  are  washed  in  the  blood  of  the 
Lamb !  "  It  was  all  so  strange,  so  new,  so  unlike 
any  thing  I  had  ever  experienced  before,  that  I 
could  not  utter  a  word,  and  then  the  only  senti- 
ment of  my  heart  was,  *'  Lord,  it  is  done !  I  am 
saved !  " 

When  the  meeting  ended  I  repaired  immediately 
to  the  parsonage.  I  experienced  great  physical  ex- 
haustion, like  Jacob,  who  was  never  so  weak  as 
when  he  had  just  prevailed  with  the  angel. 

I  threw  myself  into  a  chair,  and  at  once  the 
blessed  baptism  came.  I  seemed  filled  with  all  the 
fullness  of  God.  I  wept  for  joy.  All  night  long  I 
wept.  All  the  next  day,  at  the  family  altar,  in  the 
street,  and  in  the  sanctuary,  tears  continued  to  flow. 
The  fountains  of  my  being  seemed  broken  up,  and 
my  heart  was  dissolved  in  gratitude  and  praise. 
My  soul  seemed  filled  with  pulses,  every  one  thrill- 
ing and  throbbing  with  such  waves  of  love  and 
rapture  that  I  thought  I  must  die  from  excess  of 

life.  ' 

At  once  I  had  a  new  and  wonderful  sense  of  the 
presence  of  Christ.  Those  words  of  Jesus  were 
made  real  to  me  :  ''  Abide  in  me,  and  I  in  you."  I 
had  now  an  abiding  Christ.  With  Mrs.  Edwards  I 
could  say,  "  The  presence  of  God  was  so  near,  so 
precious  and  so  real,  that  I  seemed  scarcely  conscious 


6o  FORTY   WITNESSES. 

of  any  thing  else.  The  whole  world,  with  all  its 
enjoyments  and  all  its  troubles,  seemed  to  be  noth- 
ing; my  God  was  my  all,  my  only  portion." 

The  sovereign  will  of  God  seemed  at  once  so 
sweet  and  blessed  that  I  felt  lost  in  the  thought 
that  God  ruled  over  and  in  me.  I  found  myself 
praising  him  for  every  trial,  sorrow,  disappointment, 
and  loss. 

My  sense  of  unworthiness  was  greatly  quickened. 
I  felt  so  small,  so  weak,  so  utterly  nothing,  I  could 
no  longer  pray  in  the  sanctuary,  as  had  been  my 
custom,  in  a  standing  position.  I  wanted  to  keep 
sinking  lower  and  lower.  And  this  desire  brought 
a  strange  pleasure. 

I  felt  a  sweet  spirit  of  forgiveness  in  my  heart. 
It  was  easy  for  me  to  pray  for  those  who  had  in- 
jured me  ;  persons  who  had  become  repulsive  to 
me  appeared,  all  at  once,  as  possessing  many  excel- 
lences. I  saw  so  much  more  to  admire,  and  so 
much  less  to  condemn,  in  the  people  of  God,  that 
it  seemed  God  had  ''  made  all  things  new." 

My  love  for  the  brethren  was  much  enlarged. 
Denominational  distinction  disappeared,  and  my 
heart  flowed  out  in  tender  affection  for  ''  all  those 
that  love  the  Lord  Jesus  Christ  in  sincerity." 

Answers  to  prayer  were  continually  occurring. 
The  promise  was  made  good,  "  Whatsoever  ye  shall 
ask  the  Father  in  my  name,  he  will  give  it  you." 
One  out  of  many  instances  of  this  nature  I  wish  to 


REV.    EDGAR   M.    LEVY,    D.D.  6 1 

relate.  During  two  or  three  weeks  I  had  scarcely 
slept  at  all,  first  from  excess  of  sorrow  and  then 
from  excess  of  joy.  Night  after  night  witnessed 
my  utter  inability  to  sleep.  Mind  and  body  began 
to  show  great  nervous  exhaustion,  which  only  in- 
creased the  tendency  to  wakefulness.  One  night 
after  retiring,  and  suffering  as  before,  it  occurred  to 
me,  ''  Now  ask  Jesus."  At  once  I  raised  my  heart 
in  prayer,  saying,  ''  Blessed  Jesus !  I  need  sleep. 
Effort  will  not  bring  it.  I  now  seek  it  from  thee  ; 
let  me  go  to  sleep."  Immediately  I  fell  asleep,  and 
continued  to  sleep  soundly  all  that  night  and  every 
night  since. 

My  mind  became  solemnly  impressed  with  the 
personality  of  the  devil.  For  several  days,  it  is 
true,  he  was  not  permitted  to  attack  my  soul  in  the 
slightest  manner.  For  the  first  time  in  my  life  I 
was  so  free  from  all  temptation  that  I  Avas  not  con- 
scious of  his  existence.  But  it  was  only  for  a  time. 
One  afternoon,  just  as  I  took  my  seat  in  the  pulpit, 
Satan  stood  at  my  side  in  dread  personality.  To 
my  mental  sight  he  appeared,  as  never  before,  fear- 
fully and  maliciously  real.  At  once  I  became  un- 
conscious of  all  beside.  He  suggested  such  thoughts 
as  these  :  "  Your  present  experience  is,  I  admit, 
very  satisfactory.  But  will  it  continue  ?  What  will 
you  do  when  these  meetings  shall  end,  and  these 
birds  have  done  singing,  and  all  these  Christians 
are  gone  to  their  several  churches  and  you  shall  be 


62  FORTY   WITNESSES. 

alone  ?  "  Words  utterly  fail  to  convey  to  another 
the  malignant  force  of  these  satanic  utterances. 
But  with  humble  boldness  I  answered,  ''  I  can  do 
without  the  creature,  but  not  without  the  Creator. 
Human  sympathy  and  Christian  fellowship  are  inex- 
pressibly sweet;  but  they  are  not  indispensable  to 
my  happiness  or  safety.  Possessing  Christ  I  have 
all."  *'  And  he  showed  me  Joshua  the  high-priest 
standing  before  the  angel  of  the  Lord,  and  Satan 
standing  at  his  right  hand  to  resist  him.  And  the 
Lord  said  unto  Satan,  The  Lord  rebuke  thee,  O 
Satan  !  even  the  Lord  that  hath  chosen  Jerusalem 
rebuke  thee:  is  not  this  a  brand  plucked  out  of  the 
fire  ?  Now  Joshua  was  clothed  with  filthy  garments, 
and  stood  before  the  angel.  And  he  answered  and 
spake  unto  those  that  stood  before  him,  saying. 
Take  away  the  filthy  garments  from  him.  And 
unto  him  he  said.  Behold,  I  have  caused  thine  in- 
iquity to  pass  from  thee,  and  I  will  clothe  thee 
with  change  of  raiment."  (Zech.  3.  1-4).  At  once 
I  had  such  a  ravishing  view  of  the  infinite  loveliness 
and  all-sufficiency  of  Jesus  that  my  heart  glow^ed 
with  new  rapture,  as  the  words  of  the  poet  came 
flashing  upon  my  mind  : 


"  O  Lord !  I  would  delight  in  thee, 
And  on  tliy  care  depend  ; 

To  thee  in  every  trouble  flee, 
My  best,  my  only  Friend. 


REV.    EDGAR   M.    LEVY,    D.D.  63 

♦•  V^^hen  all  created  streams  are  dried 

Thy  fullness  is  the  same  ; 
May  I  with  this  be  satisfied, 

And  glory  in  thy  name  !  " 

Instantly  the  devil  fled,  and  I   was  dissolved  in 
tears  of  gratitude. 

Several  weeks  after  this,  while  riding  in  a  street- 
car, I  was  again  fiercely  assaulted  by  this  enemy  of 
all  righteousness.  Thoughts  of  evil  darted  through 
my  mind  like  summer  lightning.  I  remember  well 
how,  in  former  years,  I  would  exert  all  my  mental 
powers  to  put  from  me  these  vile  suggestions.  It 
used  to  be  a  mighty  conflict  between  the  powers  of 
darkness  and  my  own  puny  strength  ;  and  it  seldom 
ended  without  leaving  its  stain  and  involving  my 
soul  in  great  spiritual  depression.  But  now,  with- 
out an  effort  or  a  struggle,  I  found  myself,  like  a 
fluttered  dove,  fleeing  to  Christ.  In  a  moment  the 
thoughts  of  evil  were  gone,  and  my  soul  exulted  in 
the  triumphs  of  all-victorious  faith  : 

"  The  dove  hath  neither  claw  nor  sting, 

Nor  weapon  for  to  fight  : 
She  owes  her  safety  to  her  wing, 

Her  victory  to  flight." 

The  personality  and  office-work  of  the  blessed 
Holy  Spirit  were  revealed  to  my  spiritual  percep- 
tions as  they  had  never  been  before.  He  taught 
me  more  of  his  own  adorable  being  in  one  moment 


64  FORTY   WITNESSES. 

than  I  had  learned  from  theological  treatises  during 
all  my  life.  And  O  I  what  a  Comforter  he  became 
to  me !  He  seemed  to  regard  me  as  a  little  weak, 
convalescent  child,  that  needed  to  be  carried  in  the 
arms  and  comforted.  He  had  been  before  my  Re- 
prover ;  but  now  he  sweetly  whispered,  "  No  more 
reproof,  no  more  wounding.  I  am  come  to  com- 
fort, to  heal,  to  sanctify,  and  to  '  abide  with  you 
forever.'  " 

Indeed,  all  the  doctrines  of  the  Gospel  at  once 
became  luminous  in  the  presence  of  the  Sanctifier. 
What  was  formerly  a  speculative  conviction  became 
now  a  wondrous  reality.  What  once  appeared  in 
dim  outline,  like  some  beautiful  landscape  partly 
revealed  by  moonlight,  now  glowed  with  distinct 
and  golden  splendor. 

Life  has  become  marvelously  simplified  and 
natural.  I  no  longer  work  for  liberty,  but  as  having 
liberty;  not  for,  but  from  life.  That  which  before 
was  either  impossible,  or  at  least  difficult,  is  now 
natural  and  easy. 

I  do  not  find  this  life — what  in  my  ignorance  I 
once  regarded  it — one  of  mysticism,  indolence,  and 
self-gratulation,  but  a  life  of  ceaseless  activity  amid 
undisturbed  repose ;  of  perpetual  absence  of  all 
weariness  amid  perpetual  employment.  Neither 
do  I  find  it  a  condition  of  stagnation.  All  life  in- 
volves growth,  and  there  are  no  limits  to  the  possi- 
bilities of  jjrowth  in  the  life  of  faith.     The  more  the 


REV.    EDGAR   M.    LEVY,    D.D.  65 

soul    receives   the  more   it  is  capable   of  receiving, 
and  the  more  it  yearns  to  receive. 

I  have  not  realized  that  this  experience  exempts 
us    from    trial,    persecution     and     disappointment. 
For  me   the  way  has  frequently  been  strewn  with 
thorns  rather  than  roses.       Unkindness  has    often 
wounded    my  heart.      Friends  have  turned  away, 
sometimes  with   pity   and   sometimes  with    blame. 
At  times   I  have  been   in  heaviness  through  mani- 
fold temptation,  and  faith  has  almost  yielded  to  the 
outward  pressure  ;  but,  blessed  be  God,  for  sixteen 
years  I  have  been  preserved  from  all  murmuring, 
disquietude,  or  fear.     The  trials  have  not  been  too 
many  or  too  severe.     Every  arrow  has  been  feath- 
ered with  love,  and  every  furnace  blast  has  but  con- 
sumed the    dross.     I  am  saved  !     Saved  to  the  ut- 
termost !     Glory  to  the  Lamb  ! 

EDGAR  M.  LEVY. 

Philadelphia,  Pa.,  March,  1887. 
5 


66  FORTY   WITNESSES. 


VI. 

JENNIE  F.  WILLING. 

(METHODIST.) 

iN  a  prayerless  home,  my  first  remembered  relig- 
ious impressions  were  received  when  my  sister, 
fourteen  years  older  than  I,  came  home  from  a  revival 
meeting  and  told  me  that  she  had  given  her  heart 
to  the  Saviour.  She  prayed  with  me,  and  I  now 
think  I  was  converted  then,  though  only  five  years 
old.  She  lived  till  I  was  eight,  a  beautiful,  consist- 
ent. Christian  life.  When  she  died  my  grief  was  as 
deep  as  a  child  may  know.  But  the  saddest  thought 
of  all  was  that  now  I  would  have  no  one  to  help  me 
be  good. 

I  kept  up  my  praying  secretly,  and  I  was  often 
greatly  moved  when  I  went  to  church,  though  the 
influences  about  me  were  far  from  helpful  to  Chris- 
tian living.  When  I  was  eleven  I  joined  the 
church. 

To  all  others  it  could  have  been  of  small  conse- 
quence that  a  little  child  should  publicly  profess 
faith  in  Christ  ;  but  to  me  the  step  was  of  the 
utmost  importance,  for  I  gave  up  my  dancing,  card- 
playing,   and,    four  years  later,  my  novel-reading, 


JENNIE   F.   WILLING.  ^J 

because  I  believed  they  would  hinder  my  efforts  to 
serve  the  Lord. 

When  I  was  nineteen  all  my  family  were  brought 
to  Christ  during  a  revival  in  the  Congregational 
church  of  which  I  was  a  member.  During  the 
meetings  I  worked  incessantly,  and  with  great  joy 
in  the  Saviour.  Yet  all  the  time  I  was  certain  there 
w^ere  tendencies  within  that  would  draw  me  back  to 
my  worldliness  when  the  revival  pressure  was  re- 
moved. 

As  soon  as  my  brothers  were  converted  I  began 
to  feel  an  intense  desire  for  strength  that  I  might 
take  care  of  them  when  their  times  of  temptation 
should  come.  I  fasted  and  prayed,  asking  in  an 
agony  of  earnestness,  ''  Is  there  no  way  to  be  estab- 
lished so  that  one  will  be  as  religious  all  the  year 
round  as  she  is  during  the  revival  ?  "  I  talked  with 
my  pastor  and  the  best  of  the  church  members,  but 
they  said,  in  substance,  "  Don't  worry;  you're  doing 
very  well.  Be  sure  and  read  your  Bible  and  pray 
a  good  deal,  and  you'll  get  on  as  well  as  the  rest." 
''  But  will  we  all  grow  cold  when  the  meetings  are 
over?"  "Why,  yes,  of  course.  That's  about  the  way 
it  has  to  go."  "  Then  my  brothers  will  backslide," 
I  said,  almost  in  despair.  "  They've  been  very 
wicked,  and,  unless  I  keep  near  the  Saviour  I  know 
I  can't  help  them  as  they  need,  and  they'll  not  live 
through  the  summer." 

Here  was  a  paradox.     Never  happier  in  Christ, 


6S  FORTY   WITNESSES. 

and  yet  never  in  greater  unrest  of  soul.  The  nearer 
Jesus,  the  keener  the  heart-hunger.  At  last,  worn 
out  with  stragglings,  after  having  tried  every  other 
aid,  I  got  down  as  a  little  helpless,  tired  child,  and 
said,  "  Dear  Saviour,  if  thou  ever  didst  such  a  thing 
as  to  establish  one  in  thy  grace,  so  that  she  could  be 
as  religious  in  summer  as  in  winter,  I  beg  of  thee  to 
so  establish  me  !  "     And  he  did — the  next  moment. 

Though  I  was  surely  his  child  before,  a  change 
passed  upon  me  as  decided  as  going  at  once  from 
densest  midnight  to  broadest  noon.  When  I  rose 
from  my  knees  I  said  to  a  friend,  "  I  sha'n't  back- 
slide this  summer."  '*  Why  not  ?  How  do  you 
know?"  *' Because  Christ  has  established  me.  I 
haven't  the  shadow  of  a  fear  now."  "  I  wish  he 
would  establish  me."  ''  He  will  if  you'll  give  him 
all  your  heart  and  trust  him  fully.  His  perfect  love 
casts  out  all  fear." 

Though  quite  horrified  when  a  friend,  to  whom  I 
related  this  experience  a  few  months  later,  suggested 
the  possibility  of  its  being  sanctification,  I  used  in 
my  public  and  private  testimonies  the  same  lan- 
guage that  those  do  who  profess  that  grace. 

After  becoming  the  wife  of  a  Methodist  minister 
I  learned  to  use  the  Wesleyan  phraseology. 

Within  a  year  after  my  marriage,  however,  I  was 
thrown  in  contact  with  a  set  of  people  who  pro- 
fessed perfection  in  the  strongest  terms,  and  yet  who 
were  chiefly  characterized  by  their  censoriousness. 


JENNIE   F.    WILLING.  69 

Resenting  their  strictures,  I  grieved  the  Holy  Spirit 
and  lost  the  grace  that  had  given  me  profound  rest 
under  most  trying  circumstances. 

The  next  ten  years  were  spent  in  an  almost  inces- 
sant struggle  to  regain  the  forfeited  treasure.  A 
Christian, zealous  and  constant,  yet  never  fully  at  rest. 
Again,  the  nearer  Jesus  the  more  heavily  the  burden 
of  innate  sinfulnesss  pressed  my  heart.  Days  were 
spent  in  fasting,  nights  in  prayer,  and  tears  were  shed 
till  my  physical  strength  seemed  quite  exhausted — 
all  to  no  purpose.  The  main  trouble  was,  as  I  came 
afterward  to  see,  I  was  determined  to  have  the  same 
set  of  emotions  that  I  had  in  my  early  experience 
before  I  would  believe  my  prayer  answered  and  the 
grace  restored.  The  divine  rule,  "  By  grace  ye  are 
saved  through  faith,''  could  not  be  abrogated  for 
me,  and  so  my  cries  and  prayers  were  of  little  use. 

At  last  I  began  to  use  common  sense  with  my 
earnestness.  I  went  through  the  problem  of  my  ex- 
perience as  slowly,  difficultly  and  coolly  as  though 
it  were  a  mathematical  or  logical  question. 

The  first  point  settled,  never  to  be  reconsidered, 
was  the  relation  of  the  emotions  to  the  actual  relig- 
ious state.  Usually  unreliable,  they  must  be  ruled  out 
of  the  court  as  unfit  to  testify.  The  next  step  was 
to  find  the  limits  of  the  consecration  required.  God 
has  no  right  to  hinge  our  salvation  upon  our  doing 
what  we  do  not  know  how  to  do  ;  it  is  impossible 
for  us  to  give  him  what  we  do  not  know  about.    He 


70  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

loves  us  too  well  to  require  the  impossible ;  so  the 
limit  of  our  knowledge  must  be  the  limit  of  respon- 
sibility in  consecration.  "  O  Lord,  I  give  thee  all 
I  know  to  give,  just  as  well  as  I  know  how.  When 
I  come  to  know  and  have  more  I  will  give  more. 
There,  that  consecration  must  be  as  complete  as  I 
can  now  make  it."  Satan  had  driven  me  so  many 
times  from  that  point  in  the  ten,  long,  wilderness 
years,  he  did  his  best  to  drive  me  now  from  this 
position.  I  held  my  position.  **  I  am  honest.  I 
purpose  to  be  wholly  the  Lord's  at  any  cost.  If  I 
do  not  give  all  it  is  because  I  do  not  know  how ; 
and  Christ  cannot  hold  me  responsible  for  what  I 
do  not  know."  I  settled  it  that  only  two  points 
were  to  be  made :  complete  consecration  and  complete 
trust.  "I  have  been  all  these  years  trying  to  believe; 
now  I  will  give  up  trying.  I  will  simply  say,  I  do  give 
all  to  Jesus  as  well  as  I  can.  He  asked  for  me,  so, 
of  course,  he  takes  me.  If  he  really  wants  to  save 
me — and  it  is  wicked  to  think  any  thing  else — he  has 
the  chance,  for  I  have  given  myself  wholly  to  him. 
Does  he  nov/  save  me?  I  don't  feel  it.  Feeling  is 
not  to  be  considered.  It  is  the  fact  I  want.  Am  I 
now  cleansed  from  sin  by  the  blood  of  Christ  ?  He 
has  me  in  his  hands,  and  he  so  hates  sin  he  will  not 
let  me  stay  unclean  when  he  has  the  chance  to 
cleanse  me.  Yes,  I  believe  he  now  saves  me  fully, 
and  I  am  willing  to  risk  the  assertion  to  my  hus- 
band, to  the  Church,  to  the  world." 


JENNIE   F.  WILLING.  7^ 

It  took  nearly  two  weeks  of  slow,  close  thinking 
and  prayer,  for  me  to  crowd   myself,  inch  by  inch, 
through  this   process.     The   promise    used  of   the 
Holy  Spirit  to  strengthen  my  almost  paralyzed  be- 
lieving power  was  that  word  in  John,  "And  th.s  is 
the  confidence  that  we  have  in  him,  that  if  we  ask 
any  thing  according  to  his  will  he  heareth  us,  and  .f 
we  know  that  he  heareth  us,  whatsoever  we  ask  we 
know  that  we  have  the  petitions  that  we  desired  of 
him  ••     Only  two  conditions  are   given  here-that 
what  we  ask  is  "according  to  his  will,"  and  that  "he 
heareth  us."     "  It  is  according  to  his  will  that  1  be 
cleansed.       The    opposite    of   this   proposition    is 
not  thinkable.     He  heareth  me.     If  he  is  with  me 
alway,  as  he  promised,  he  cannot  help  hearing  me. 
Then   I  know  that  I  have  the  petition,  even  the 
cleansing  of  my  heart." 

Since  then,  though  often  stumbling  and  always 
full  of  infirmities,  I  have  been  enabled  by  div.ne 
grace  to  walk  in  the  light.  Whenever  a  doubt  has 
risen,  or  I  have  fallen  into  sin,  1  have  gone  at  once 
through  the  "  process  "  of  consecration  and  trust, 
believing  that,  as  certainly  as  two  and  two  make 
four,  this,  honestly  done,  results  in  the  cleansing 
from  all  sin.  jENNIE  F.  WILLING. 

Lake  Bluff,  III.,  "^uly  2,  1887. 


72  FORTY  WITNESSES. 


VII. 

MRS.  M.    BAXTER. 

(CHURCH  OF  ENGLAND.) 

'IDROUGHT  up  as  a  member  of  the  Episcopal 
"T  Church  of  England,  under  a  ministry  then 
unspiritual,  I  had,  although  trained  to  a  high  moral 
standard,  ''  no  hope,"  and  was  "  without  God  in 
the  world."  In  his  grace  he  sought  me,  first  by 
strong  convictions  that  my  life  was  fundamentally 
wrong  and  that  I  had  no  real  contact  with  God.  By 
the  side  of  my  father's  grave,  in  my  ignorance  of 
God's  love,  I  vowed  that  if  he  would  speak  with 
me  as  he  did  with  Abraham  and  Noah  I  would 
willingly  give  up  my  sight,  my  hearing,  or  any 
thing  else  for  the  privilege. 

Only  four  months  later,  on  October  12,  1858,  God 
revealed  himself  to  me  in  his  own  word.  A  friend, 
who  had  also  lost  her  father,  came  to  see  me  and 
spoke  to  me  about  my  soul.  Till  that  time  no  one 
had  ever  asked  me  a  direct  question.  I  told  her 
frankly  that  I  would  not  ask  God  for  the  pardon  of 
my  sins  ;  I  should  be  asking  an  unjust  thing,  and 
were  he  unjust  I  could  not  worship  him.  God 
guided   the  reply;  it  was  his   own  word:  *' All  we 


MRS.    M.    BAXTER.  73 

like  sheep  have  gone  astray ;  we  have  turned  every 
one  to  his  own  way ;  and  the  Lord  hath  laid  on 
him  the  iniquity  of  us  all."  (Isa.  53,  6.)  Without  a 
word,  without  a  formal  prayer,  Jesus  stood  revealed 
to  me  as  just,  and  yet  the  justifier  of  him  that 
believeth.  I  had  what  I  had  longed  for,  commun- 
ion with  God,  in  which  Jesus  would  speak  to  me  and 
I  to  him,  and  for  many  nights  could  not  spare  the 
time  for  sleep.  He  made  it  no  difficulty  to  me 
to  give  up  all  for  him ;  it  came  quite  natural. 
Dancing,  acting,  novels,  fashionable  dress,  jewels, 
caricaturing,  etc.,  died  out  of  my  life  by  the  absorb- 
ing power  of  the  new  life  within.  It  made  me  feel 
I  possessed  a  knowledge  which  would  save  men 
from  hell,  and  almost  all  my  time  was  spent  in 
speaking  with  individuals  and  seeking  to  win  them 
to  Christ. 

But  some  months  later,  more  than  half  a  year 
after  my  conversion,  although  I  saw  souls  contin- 
ually saved,  yet  I  felt  a  need  for  a  deeper  work  of 
grace.  A  number  of  the  Guide  to  Holiness  was  put 
into  my  hands,  in  which  was  an  article  by  the  late 
Mrs.  Phoebe  Palmer.  I  took  it  to  the  Lord,  and 
then  and  there  was  led  to  yield  up  myself  a  living 
sacrifice,  and  to  accept  the  cleansing  from  all  sin  as 
far  as  I  then  understood  it,  and  in  some  way 
accepted  the  Holy  Ghost  to  possess  me.  At  this 
time  the  acquaintance  of  the  late  Rev.  Mr.  Aitken 
of  Pendem,  was  an  untold  blessing  to  me.  For  eight 


74  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

years  after  this  time  my  life  seemed  to  be  a  going 
on  from  strength  to  strength.  It  was  but  a  small 
sphere  of  labor  which  God  gave  me,  in  a  little  town 
and  the  surrounding  villages,  but  he  worked, 
blessedly  and  gave  me,  through  correspondence  and 
through  notes  on  the  Scriptures,  an  increasing 
influence. 

But  I  did  not  know  how  much  I  was  occupied  at 
that  time  with  myself  and  my  own  holiness.  I  fell 
into  spiritual  pride.  This  opened  the  way  for  other 
sins  of  temper,  etc.  I  was  sorely  disappointed  with 
myself;  I  felt  as  though  God  had  failed  me.  I  had 
conceived  a  very  high  and  ascetic  standard,  and  I 
had  fallen  miserably  below  it,  and  though  I  cried  to 
God  for  hours  by  day  and  hours  by  night,  my  old  joy 
and  peace  did  not  return.  In  the  year  1873  I  first  saw 
Gladness  in  Jesus,  by  the  Rev.  W.  E.  Boardman, 
and  in  reading  it  my  eyes  were  opened  to  see  that? 
I  had  been  all  this  time  dealing  with  myself  instead 
of  acting  truly  to  my  first  consecration  of  myself  to 
God  and  letting  him  deal  with  me.  All  my  confi- 
dence in  my  own  experience  as  a  saviour  was  gone. 
My  old  experience  lived  again,  it  is  true,  but  I  was 
on  the  divine  side  of  it,  seeing  Jesus  as  my  sanctifi- 
cation,  Jesus  dwelling  in  me  to  be  patience  in  me, 
love  in  me,  and  all  else  I  needed. 

From  this  time  God  has  been  closely  educating 
my  conscience.  While  he  keeps  me  from  sinning 
as  I  trust  him,  he  teaches  me  from  time  to  time  his 


MRS.    M.    BAXTER.  75 

own  views  of  sin,  so  that  things  which  a  year  ago 
were  not  sin  to  me  are  so  now.  But  the  conflict  is 
transferred  ;  the  battle  is  the  Lord's.  He  cleanses, 
he  helps,  he  fights.  I  trust  and  praise  him.  He 
has  taught  me  the  same  blessed  faith  for  the  body 
as  the  soul.     All  glory  to  his  holy  name. 

M.  BAXTER. 
London,  England,  March  4,  1887, 


76  FORTY  WITNESSES. 


VIII. 

REV.  WILLIAM    REDDY,  D.D. 

(METHODIST.) 

iT  is  a  delicate  and  difficult  thing  to  speak  or  to 
write  of  one's  own  personal  experience  and  not 
to  have  self  crop  out.  Our  Lord  said,  "  He 
that  speaketh  of  himself  seeketh  his  own  glory,  but 
he  that  seeketh  his  glory  that  sent  him,  the  same  is 
true  and  no  unrighteousness  is  in  him."  Can  I  do 
this  in  endeavoring  to  "  declare  what  the  Lord  has 
done  for  my  soul  ?  "  May  the  Holy  Spirit  give  m.e 
a  '*  single  eye,"  that  I  may  magnify  the  grace  that 
"hath  saved  me,  and  called  me  with  a  holy  calling." 
I  was  born  in  what  is  now  Ledyard  township, 
Cayuga  County,  N.  Y.,  September  28,  1813.  I  was 
at  different  times,  in  early  life,  somewhat  convicted 
of  the  need  of  salvation,  and  made  some  feeble  and 
abortive  attempts  to  seek  the  Lord.  I  was  induced 
to  attend  a  Methodist  revival-meeting  and  found 
myself  bracing  against  the  influence  of  the  meeting. 
But  after  having  declined  to  go  to  the  altar  on  the 
solicitation  of  the  Congregationalist  minister,  who 
had  known  my  former  failure,  I  at  last  decided  to 
yield,  and  in  going  I  said,  ''  I  will  never  leave  that 


REV.  WILLIAM    REDDY,  D.D.  ']J 

altar  till  I  am  saved,  if  there  is  salvation  for  me." 
I  struggled  and  wrestled,  but  when  I  gave  up  my 
struggles  and  sank  down  in  self-despair,  saying,  ^'  if 
I  perish,  I  perish."  I  then  found  rest  and  a  degree 
of  peace.  I  felt  that  I  had  crossed  the  line  and  was, 
by  choice  and  surrender,  ''  on  the  Lord's  side,"  but 
without  much  emotion,  and  without  a  divine  and 
intelligent  assurance  of  pardon.  But  I  was  settled 
in  my  choice  and  purpose.  I  was  tempted,  before  I 
reached  my  home,  that  I  was  not  converted.  And 
I  could  only  answer,  "  I  do  not  feel  as  I  expected. 
I  would  not  dare  to  say  that  I  am  certain  that  I  am 
converted  ;  but  I  shall  never  go  back.  My  choice  is 
made.  If  I  am  not  converted  I  shall  not  rest  until 
I  know  for  certain  that  I  am."  Though  I  immedi- 
ately gave  my  name  to  the  church,  and  met  in  class 
and  attended  secret  prayer  and  all  religious  duties, 
yet  it  was  some  months  later  before  I  was  so  blessed 
in  secret  prayer  as  to  banish  all  doubts.  I  was  nine- 
teen years  old  at  this  time.  I  was  unacquainted 
with  Methodist  literature,  but  I  was  hungry  to 
know  the  truth.  I  procured  books  and  read  with 
avidity  whatever  pertained  to  the  new  life  upon 
which  1  had  entered.  I  devoured  all  the  literature 
I  could.  I  found  the  doctrine  and  the  experience  of 
perfect  love  inculcated  and  exemplified.  It  was  a 
revelation  to  me,  so  unlike  the  doctrine  of  the 
necessary  indwelling  of  original  sin,  and  the  im- 
possibility of  living   without  '*  committing  sin,"  in 


78  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

which,  from  childhood,  I  had  been  taught.  I  deter- 
mined to  test  its  truth,  first,  by  a  careful  study  of 
the  Scriptures.  This  being  settled  affirmatively,  I 
then  resolved  to  test  it  by  experience,  if  possible  to 
me,  as  I  had  learned  that  God  is  no  respecter  of 
persons.  Then  followed  a  prolonged  struggle  for 
more  than  nine  months.  I  sought  *'  with  strong  cry- 
ing and  tears"  in  my  closet  and  in  my  barn,  some- 
times till  midnight. 

The  Memoir  of  Mrs.  Hester  Ann  Rogers  was  the 
instrument  of  my  deliverance.  I  was  then  a  class- 
leader,  and  I  had  been  to  meet  my  class  and  had 
taken  the  little  Memoir  with  me  to  read  to  my  class 
some  of  her  spiritual  letters,  in  order  to  stir  up  the 
class  to  seek  with  me  this  great  salvation.  O  how 
my  soul  hungered  and  thirsted  for  this  blessing !  I 
could  truly  say,  *'  'Tis  worse  than  death  my  God  to 
love,  and  not  my  God  alone." 

Returning  to  my  home,  my  (Presbyterian)  mother 
having  retired,  I  lighted  a  candle  and  sat  down  on 
the  carpet  in  front  of  the  stove,  and  opened  upon  a 
page  containing  a  quotation  from  Mr.  Fletcher,  in 
which  he  illustrated  the  text,  "  Reckon  ye  your- 
selves also  to  be  dead  indeed  unto  sin,  and  alive 
unto  God  through  Jesus  Christ  our  Lord."  He 
showed  that  as  when  we  reckon  with  a  creditor  or 
with  our  host,  and  have  paid  all,  we  reckon  ourselves 
free,  ''so  now  reckon  with  God — Jesus  has  paid 
all,  paid  for  thee,  hath  purchased  thy  pardon  and 


REV.  WILLIAM    REDDY,  D.D.  79 

thy  holiness,  and  it  is  now  God's  command,  '  reckon 
thyself  dead  indeed  unto  sin  and  alive  unto  God.' 

0  begin  (said  he)  to  reckon  now,  and  believe,  be- 
lieve, and  continue  to  believe;  for  it  is  retained  as  it 
is  received,  by  faith  alone."  The  view  thus  opened 
revealed  to  my  eye  the  atonement — its  provisions 
for  me,  its  freeness  and  its  fullness — and  that  my  be- 
lieving was  simply  crediting  the  truth  of  salvation 
as  already  wrought  out  in  Christ.  My  believing 
made  nothing  new;  but  what  was  "  true  in  him  be- 
fore "  became  "  true  in  me."  I  began  simply  to 
reckon  myself  dead  indeed  unto  sin,  and  alive  unto 
God  through  Jesus  Christ  my  Saviour.  The  words 
of  St.  John  then  had  a  meaning  which  I  had  not 
previously  seen  :  *'  Which  thing  is  troe  in  him  and 
in  you,  because  the  darkness  is  past  and  the  true 
light  now  shineth."   This  was  the  immediate  effect: 

1  seemed  to  myself  to  be  reduced  to  a  cipher,  and 
Christ  filled  the  whole  horizon  of  my  vision  !  O 
how  serene  and  peaceful  I  felt ! 

"  Of  my  Saviour  possessed, 
I  was  perfectly  blessed, 
As  if  filled  with  the  fullness  of  love." 

In  this  peaceful  frame  I  retired  to  rest,  reckoning 
myself  dead  indeed  unto  sin.  The  thought  was 
suggested,  '^  This  will  all  pass  off  with  the  sleep  of 
the  night ;  "  but  I  still  reckoned,  rested  and  rejoiced. 


8o  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

(This   occurred  in    1835.)      In  the  morning  I  con- 
tinued the  reckoning,  and  was  free. 

The  next  day  after  my  dehverance,  while  ab- 
sorbed in  spiritual  communings,  the  suggestion 
came  to  me,  "  Are  you  willing  to  confess  what  the 
Lord  has  done  for  you  ? "  This  was  a  startling 
thought.  I  dropped  my  eye  to  look  at  the  sugges- 
tion, and  immediately  it  was  whispered,  *'  If  you 
confess  this  blessing  you  will  be  called  a  *  Perfec- 
tionist,' "  and  at  once  the  odium  and  the  reproach 
which  attached  to  others  because  of  wild  and  fanat- 
ical doctrines  then  regnant  in  the  land  seemed  im- 
pending over  me.  Then,  further,  it  was  suggested  : 
*' You  will  enjoy  this  but  a  little  while,  and  then,  if 
you  have  made  the  confession  and  lost  the  blessing, 
it  will  bring  dishonor  upon  the  blessed  doctrine." 
Without  realizing  that  these  last  suggestions  came 
from  the  enemy,  I  yielded,  and  determined  to  be 
silent  and  endeavor  to  live  it  for  a  season  first ;  and 
in  an  instant  I  found  I  had  lost  the  blessing.  I  then 
saw  the  snare  in  which  I  had  been  taken.  I  had 
shrunk  from  "  the  reproach  of  the  cross,"  and  I  had 
distrusted  the  keeping  power  of  my  deliverer.  O, 
the  sad  reaction  which  came  over  me  ;  self-reproach, 
loss  of  the  keen  relish,  loss  of  confidence,  and  loss 
of  a  sense  of  the  presence  of  Jesus,  which  so  de- 
lightfully I  had  enjoyed.  From  being  an  heir  I 
was  a  bankrupt.  But  I  resolved  at  once  to  recover 
my  forfeited  inheritance  in  Christ. 


REV.  WILLIAM    REDDY,  D.D.  8 1 

But  I  was  hampered  ;  yet  I  continued  faithful  to 
duty,  and  sometimes  was  enabled  in  secret  to  trust 
and  claim  the  blessing.  But  when  in  public  I  was 
afraid  to  confess  it.  I  rounded  my  corners  in  my 
testimony,  and  then  would  sink  again.  This  fluc- 
tuation continued  about  four  years.  Meantime  I 
preached  the  doctrine,  and  others  thought  that  I 
professed  the  blessing  ;  but  there  was  a  little  reserve 
and  evasion.  At  last,  one  day,  in  my  secret  strug- 
gling, I  said:  '' O  Lord,  what  does  hinder  me?" 
And  I  was  reminded  of  my  distrust  and  shrinking  in 
rep-ard  to  confession.  I  saw  it  and  said,  "  If  I  live 
to  preach  next  Sabbath  I  will  confess  Jesus  as  my 
full  Saviour,  whatever  may  be  my  feelings."  Sab- 
bath came,  and  I  preached  Christ  as  a  full  Saviour. 
In  class-meeting  came  the  test,  and  I  ventured  out 
further  in  my  testimony  than  I  had  ever  done  be- 
fore, and  I  was  correspondingly  blest. 

One  brother,  an  exhorter,  afterward  a  traveling 
preacher,  received  the  blessing  in  class-meeting 
that  day.  At  my  afternoon  appointment  I  ven- 
tured still  further,  and  was  more  explicit,  and  was 
still  more  fully  blest.  In  the  evening  service,  in 
class,  I  heard  sung  for  the  first  time,  ''  I've  given 
all  for  Christ,  he's  my  all,"  etc.,  and  it  went  through 
me  as  a  lightning-streak,  and  my  whole  being  re- 
sponded, 

"  I've  given  all  for  Christ, 
He's  my  all." 


82  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

Three  things  I  must  record  in  justice  to  the  facts 
of  my  later  experience. 

1.  The  advantage  which  Satan  gained  over  me  in 
the  first  instance  has  furnished  a  sort  of  fulcrum  on 
which  he  has  rested  his  lever  in  his  subsequent  as- 
saults and  devices  toward  me,  and  too  successfully 
has  he  "  hindered  me  "  at  the  same  point.  It  has 
cost  me  great  struggles  to  rise  above  the  influence 
and  to  assert  my  liberty.  Hence  my  "  interior  life  " 
has  fluctuated,  and  been  obscured  at  various  times. 
The  stem  has  been  broken,  but  the  root  has  never 
been  killed.  I  have  always  been  in  sympathy  with 
the  theme  and  with  those  who  are  identified  with 
it.  The  more  explicit  I  have  been  in  my  teaching 
the  clearer  has  been  my  own  experience  and  the 
more  successful  I  have  been. 

2.  Whatever  of  success  God  has  been  pleased  to 
bestow  on  my  labor  and  teaching  I  owe  to  that 
early  initiation  into  the  "  interior  of  the  kingdom," 
and  my  adherence  to  the  truth  touching  "  the  deep 
things  of  God." 

3.  I  am  humbled  in  view  of  frequent  lapses  in 
spirit  and  temper,  though  graciously  restored  and 
still  abiding  in  Christ.  When  I  have  contracted  a 
stain  upon  my  white  robe  I  have  found  no  safety 
or  relief  except  by  an  immediate  resort  to  the 
cleansing  fountain  of  atoning  blood,  and  there  to 
wash  the  stain  away. 

Mr.    Fletcher's    experience  in    losing   It    several 


REV.  WILLIAM    REDDV,    D.D.  83 

times  before  he  was  established  in  it  has  helped  me 
in  my  recovery.  I  know  the  power  of  Jesus  to 
cleanse  from  all  sin,  and  to ''save  to  the  uttermost." 
I  know  the  Holy  Ghost  as  a  sanctifier,  comforter 
and  guide. 

My  life  has  been  one  of  delightful  labor,  of  se- 
vere and  repeated  trials  and  bereavements.  These 
words  of  St.  Peter  have  been  instructive,  inspiring, 
and  assuring  to  me :  "  But  the  God  of  all  grace, 
who  hath  called  us  unto  his  eternal  glory  by  Christ 
Jesus,  after  that  ye  have  suffered  awhile,  make 
you  perfect"  (not  in  love  ;  that  is  supposed  to  have 
been  done,  but)  "  make  you  perfect  " — that  is, 
"  stablish,  strengthen,  settle  you  " — "  establish  you 
unblamable  in  holiness  before  God  unto  the  coming 

of  our  Lord  Jesus  Christ." 

WILLIAM    REDDY. 
Syracuse,  N.  Y.,  July  6,  1887. 


84  FORTY  WITNESSES. 


IX. 

REV.  JAMES  MUDGE,  B.D. 

(METHODIST.) 

iWAS  born  at  West  Springfield,  Mass.,  April  5, 
1844,  my  father — also  James — being  a  member 
of  the  New  England  Conference,  of  the  Methodist 
Episcopal  Church. 

Having  been  baptized  in  infancy,  and  brought  up 
piously  inside  the  fold  from  the  beginning,  in  ac- 
cordance with  the  ideas  implied  in  that  ordinance, 
I  was  always  accounted  a  very  good  boy,  and  my 
conversion,  which  took  place  at  the  age  of  twelve, 
in  a  quiet  revival  in  the  little  village  of  South  Har- 
wich, Mass.,  September,  1856,  was  not  attended  by 
any  violent  emotions.  It  was  simply  a  determi- 
nation, under  the  gentle  stimulus  of  the  special 
interest  attending  the  revival,  to  take  up  publicly 
the  position  and  perform  the  duties  of  an  openly- 
avowed  Christian  believer.  Such  I  became.  I 
joined  in  full  the  old  Common  Street  Church  of 
Lynn,  Mass.  (whither  I  had  gone  to  prepare  for 
college),  on  my  thirteenth  birthday,  April  5,  1857. 

I  faithfully  attended  to  all  Christian  duties,  speak- 
ing and  praying  in  class  and  prayer  meetings,  from 


REV.   JAMES    MUDGE,    B.D.  85 

which  I  was  never  absent,  and  serving  as  librarian 
in  the  Sunday-school.  I  did  not  falter  for  a  day, 
or  so  much  as  once  think  of  turning  back,  and  my 
joy  in  Jesus  steadily  increased  as  I  came  to  know 
him  more. 

Before  long,  however,  as  I  continued  my  school 
life  and  church  life,  I  began  to  find  that  there  were 
certain  things  hard  to  do,  and  for  the  doing  of 
which  I  did  not  seem  to  possess  sufficient  strength. 
I  shrank  from  the  cross  involved  in  talking  person- 
ally about  religion  with  my  class-mates,  and  I  fell 
into  the  indulgence  of  a  few  doubtful  practices  in 
reference  to  which  my  conscience  was  not  wholly 
at  ease.  I  found  myself  sliding  into  a  state  of  half- 
way service,  a  state  wherein  I  was  conscious  of 
being  only  partially  consecrated  to  God. 

Happily  I  took  alarm,  after  a  little,  and  seeing 
clearly  that  there  was  no  permanent  peace  or  power 
to  be  had  except  in  being  decisively  one  thing  or 
another,  my  mind  became  greatly  exercised  on  the 
subject  of  FULL  SALVATION.  From  reading  a  good 
deal  about  this,  and  hearing  it  much  spoken  of  at 
my  home  and  elsewhere,  I  came  to  have  a  strong 
desire  for  its  attainment.  So  when  I  went,  in 
August,  i860,  to  the  annual  camp-meeting  at  East- 
ham,  on  Cape  Cod,  as  I  was  accustomed  to  do  from 
year  to  year,  it  was  with  the  earnest  hope  that  I 
might  receive  this  great  blessing. 

But  Monday  evening,  August    13,  the  last  night 


86  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

of  the  meeting,  came  without  my  having  reached 
any  thing  very  definite.  I  had  consecrated  all,  to 
the  best  of  my  abihty,  but  had  failed  to  apprehend 
that  further  necessity,  the  simple  step  of  appropri- 
ating faith.  The  Rev.  Charles  Nichols,  in  a  private 
conversation,  made  this  matter  plain,  and  so  broke 
the  last  link  that  bound  me  to  the  old  life.  Silently 
and  alone,  as  I  bowed  in  prayer  under  the  oak-trees, 
I  firmly  made  up  my  mind  to  take  God  at  his  word. 
I  determined  that  for  the  future,  relying  entirely 
upon  his  strength,  I  would  bear  every  cross  and  be 
a  whole-souled  Christian.  In  a  prayer-meeting  at 
the  tent,  between  nine  and  ten  that  night,  I  made 
open  avowal  that  the  blessing  I  had  sought  was 
now  obtained,  claimed  by  simple  faith.  I  felt  no 
sudden,  overpowering  bliss,  but  a  deep  peace  as  of 
the  conflict  over  and  the  harbor  gained. 

It  was  certainly  a  turning-point  in  my  life  from 
which  dates  a  distinct  and  decided  change  in  my 
experience.  I  returned  to  school  a  different  indi- 
vidual. There  was  no  more  shirking  of  duty.  I 
implicitly  obeyed  whatever  I  felt  to  be  the  orders 
of  God.  I  bore  clear  and  frequent  testimony  to  the 
full  salvation  with  which  God  had  so  wonderfully 
enriched  my  soul.  At  college  (Middletown,  Conn.), 
whither  I  soon  went,  1861,  I  took  a  leading  part  in 
aggressive  religious  work  and  in  promoting  the 
highest  type  of  spirituality. 

My  steps  have   been   forward  from  that   day  in 


REV.   JAMES   MUDGE,   B.D.  87 

August,  i860,  to  this.  Each  year,  without  excep- 
tion, has  been  an  improvement  on  its  predecessors. 
There  has  never  been  anything  that  could  be  called 
a  period  of  lapse  or  backsliding.  Nevertheless, 
after  a  time,  both  while  in  college  and  subsequently, 
I  gradually  became  aware  that  the  work  performed 
upon  me  at  the  second  blessing  above  described 
was  not  so  deep  and  thorough  as  I  had  supposed. 
I  was  conscious  of  feelings  which  looked  so  sus- 
piciously like  ambition,  envy,  jealousy,  impatience, 
pride,  discontent,  and  selfishness  that  I  could  not 
feel  perfectly  at  ease  about  the  matter.  The  theory 
in  which  I  had  been  trained  taught  that  all  these 
things  had  been  entirely  removed  at  the  aforesaid 
second  blessing,  and  that  what  I  felt  now  were  only 
infirmities  and  temptations.  I  tried  to  think  them 
so,  but  when  I  was  most  candid  and  honest  with 
myself  the  explanation  failed  to  fully  satisfy  me. 
In  short,  I  grew  more  and  more  convinced  as  the 
years  went  on,  that  in  my  case  at  least  (and  it  seemed 
to  me  also  in  the  case  of  nearly  if  not  quite  all 
others  I  met),  after  the  second  blessing  there  was 
need  of  further  consecrations  from  time  to  time, 
deepening,  extending,  and  perfecting  the  work.  In 
other  words,  I  felt  and  saw  that  the  sanctification 
wrought  at  conversion  and  at  the  second  blessing 
was  in  both  cases  entire  up  to  the  light  then  given, 
and  no  further.  Perfect  light  was  not  given  either 
at  one  time  or  at  the  other,  and  hence  as  the  light 


88  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

subsequently  increased  a  subsequent  corresponding 
work  in  the  heart  remained  to  be  done. 

It  is  on  this  Hne  that  my  experience  has  steadily 
and  gloriously  progressed  for  the  last  twenty  years. 
There  has  been  no  year  when  it  has  not  gone  for- 
ward, but  there  have  been  some  years  of  unusually 
marked  advance,  some  seasons  of  very  rich  revela- 
tions of  God's  presence  and  power.  One  such  year 
was  that  in  which  I  went  as  a  missionary  to  India, 
1873,  laying  upon  the  altar  all  the  fond  ambitious 
dreams  and  hopes  of  life,  all  the  delights  of  home 
and  friends  and  native  land,  in  a  far  more  thorough 
way  than  ever  before ;  a  way  not  possible  to  me 
before,  because  the  actual  pinch  and  stress  of  the 
practical  test  had  not  previously  been  brought 
within  my  reach.  Another  such  season  came  during 
my  last  full  year  in  India,  1882,  when,  owing  to 
some  very  bitter  trials,  a  fuller  disclosure  was  made 
to  me  than  ever  before  as  to  some  remains  of  the 
self-life  needing  further  attention.  Sunday,  July  9, 
1882,  alone  in  my  room  at  Shahjahanpore,  God  gave 
me  such  a  baptism  of  love  as  I  shall  never  forget  to 
all  eternity.  The  availableness  of  God  and  the  lov- 
ableness  of  man  were  manifested  to  me  in  a  way 
indescribable,  and  the  effect  upon  my  life  ever  since 
has  been  very  marked.  During  the  past  six  months 
there  has  been  almost  as  wonderful  a  development 
of  faith  as  there  was  of  love  five  years  ago.  Unseen 
things   are   now  far  more    real    than    ever  before. 


REV.   JAMES    MUDGE,    15.D.  89 

There  is   an    intensity  and  fullness  of  spiritual   life 
before  unknown,  a  settling  down  more  thoroughly 
into  Christ  and  a  putting  him  on  more  completely  ; 
a  f^reater  oneness  of  will  with  God   and  a  more  ex- 
act  conformity  to  his  image  as  well  as   more  sim- 
plicity and  more  humility.     If  I  am  asked  whether 
I  consider  that   all  these  graces  are  now  perfected 
in  me,  and  that  the  self-life  is  absolutely  dead,  no 
minutest  trace  or  smallest  particle  of  it  any  more 
visible    to  the    all-penetrating    gaze    of    the    great 
Searcher  of  hearts,  I   reply,  I  cannot   tell.  •  I  have 
thought    so  at    various   times.      But   when  keener 
tests  were  brought  to  bear  I  found  reason  to  believe 
that  a  little  of  self  still  lingered,  calling  for  further 
purification.     Thus   it  may  be  now.     I   know  that 
to  me  but  one  thing  seems  desirable  or  valuable  in 
heaven  or  earth,   and   that   is   the  WILL  OF   GOD. 
And  every  thing  which  comes  to  me  I  welcome  as 
God's  will  for  me.     So  far  as   I   am   any  way  con- 
scious, my  whole  being,  without  the  slightest  reser- 
vation or  hesitation,  goes  out  after  him  and  abides 
in  him.     Loving  only  what  God  loves,  and  willing 
only  what  God  wills,  I  find  no  room  for  disappoint- 
ment, but  only  for  delight  and  thanksgiving  in  all 
he  sends  me.     This  is  surely  the  land  of  Beulah,  if 
not  something  more.     It  is,  indeed,  heaven  begun 
below.     "  For  to  me  to  live  is  Christ." 

JAMES  MUDGE. 
East  Pepperell,  Mass.,  April  5,  1887. 


90  FORTY  WITNESSES. 


X. 

FRANCES.  E.  WILLARD. 

(METHODIST.) 

T  WAS  lying  on  my  bed  in  my  home  at  Evanston, 
fi  Illinois,  in  the  crisis  of  typhoid  fever.  It  was 
one  night  in  June,  1859.  The  doctor  had  said  that 
the  crisis  would  soon  arrive,  and  I  had  overheard 
his  words.  Mother  was  watching  in  the  next  room. 
My  whole  soul  was  intent,  as  two  voices  seemed  to 
speak  within  me,  one  of  them  saying,  ''  My  child, 
give  me  thy  heart.  I  called  thee  long  by  joy,  I 
call  thee  now  by  chastisement ;  but  I  have  called 
thee  always  and  only  because  I  love  thee  with  an 
everlasting  love." 

The  other  said,  "  Surely  you  who  are  so  resolute 
and  strong  will  not  break  down  now  because  of 
physical  feebleness.  You  are  a  reasoner,  and  never 
yet  were  you  convinced  of  the  reasonableness  of 
Christianity.  Hold  out  now  and  you  will  feel 
when  you  get  well  just  as  you  used  to  feel." 

One  presence  was  to  me  warm,  sunny,  safe,  with 
an  impression  as  of  snowy  wings ;  the  other  cold, 
dismal,  dark,  with  the  flutter  of  a  bat.  The  con- 
troversy did  not  seem  brief;  in  my  weakness  such 


FRANCES   E.    WILLARD.  9I 

a  strain  would  doubtless  appear  longer  than  it 
really  was.  Solemnly,  definitely,  and  with  my  whole 
heart  I  said,  not  in  spoken  words,  but  in  the  deeper 
language  of  consciousness, 

*'If  God  lets  me  get  well  I'll  try  to  be  a  Chris- 
tian girl."  I  was  then  nineteen  years  old.  But 
this  resolve  did  not  bring  peace. 

"  You  must  at  once  declare  this  resolution," 
said  the  inward  voice. 

Strange  as  it  seems,  and  complete  as  had  always 
been  my  frankness  toward  my  dear  mother,  far 
beyond  what  is  usual  even  between  mother  and 
child, *it  cost  me  a  greater  humbling  of  my  pride  to 
tell  her  than  the  resolution  had  cost  of  self-surren- 
der, or  than  any  other  utterance  of  my  whole  life 
has  involved.  After  a  hard  battle,  in  which  I  lifted 
up  my  soul  to  God  for  strength,  I  faintly  called  her 
from  the  next  room,  and  said, 

*'  Mother,  I  wish  to  tell  you  that  if  God  lets  me 
get  well  I'll  try  to  be  a  Christian  girl." 

She  took  my  hand,  knelt  beside  my  bed,  and 
wept  and  prayed.  I  then  turned  my  face  to  the 
wall  and  sweetly  slept.  .  .  .  That  winter  we  had 
revival  services  in  the  old  Methodist  church  at 
Evanston.  Dr.  (now  Bishop)  F'oster  was  president 
of  the  university,  and  his  sermons,  with  those  of 
Drs.  Dempster,  Bannister,  and  others,  deeply 
stirred  my  heart.  I  had  convalesced  slowly  and 
been  out  of  town,  so  these  meetings  seemed   my 


92  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

first  public  opportunity  of  declaring  my  new  alle- 
giance. The  very  first  invitation  to  go  forward, 
kneel  at  the  altar  and  be  prayed  for,  was  heeded. 
Waiting  for  no  one,  counseling  with  no  one,  I  went 
alone  along  the  aisle  with  my  heart  beating  so 
loudly  I  thought  that  I  could  see  as  well  as  hear  it 
beat  as  I  moved  forward.  One  of  the  most  timid, 
shrinking,  sensitive  natures,  what  it  meant  to  me 
to  go  forward  thus,  with  my  student  friends  gazing 
upon  me,  can  never  be  told.  I  had  been  known  as 
"  skeptical,"  and  prayers  (of  which  I  then  spoke 
lightly)  had  been  asked  for  me  in  the  church  the 
year  before.  For  fourteen  nights  in  succession  I 
thus  knelt  at  the  altar,  expecting  some  utter  trans- 
formation—some slice  of  heaven  to  be  placed  in  my 
inmost  heart,  as  I  have  seen  the  box  of  valuables 
placed  in  the  corner-stone  of  a  building  and  firmly 
set,  plastered  over  and  fixed  in  its  place  forever.  This 
was  what  I  had  determined  must  be  done,  and  was 
loath  to  give  it  up.  I  prayed  and  agonized,  but  this 
did  not  occur. 

One  night  when  I  returned  to  my  room  baffled, 
weary  and  discouraged,  and  knelt  beside  my  bed,  it 
came  to  me  quietly  that  this  was  not  the  way ;  that 
my"  conversion,"  my  "  turning  about,"  my  religious 
experience  {re-li-gio,  to  bind  again),  had  reached  its 
crisis  on  that  summer  night  when  I  said  ''  yes"  to 
God.  A  quiet  certitude  of  this  pervaded  my  con- 
sciousness, and  the  next  night  I  told  the  public  con- 


FRANCES   E.    WILLARD.  93 

gregation  so,  gave  my  name  to  the  church  as  a 
probationer,  and  after  holding  this  relation  for  a 
year — waiting  for  my  sister  Mary,  who  joined  later, 
to  pass  her  six  months'  probation — I  was  baptized 
and  joined  the  church  '*  in  full  connection."  Mean- 
while I  had  regularly  led,  since  that  memorable  June, 
a  prayerful  life — which  I  had  not  done  for  some 
months  previous  to  that  time ;  studied  my  Bible, 
and,  as  I  believe,  evinced  by  my  daily  life  that  I  was 
taking  counsel  of  the  heavenly  powers.  Prayer- 
meeting,  class-meeting  (in  which  Rev.  Dr.  Hemen- 
way  was  my  beloved  leader),  and  church  services 
were  most  pleasant  to  me,  and  I  became  an  active 
Christian  worker,  seeking  to  lead  others  to  Christ. 
For  I  had  learned  to  think  of  and  to  believe  in  God 
in  terms  of  Jesus  Christ.  This  had  always  been  my 
difficulty,  as  I  believe  it  is  that  of  so  many.  By 
nature  all  spiritually-disposed  people  (and  with  the 
exception  of  about  six  months  of  my  life  I  was 
always  strongly  that)  are  Unitarians,  and  my  chief 
mental  difficulty  has  always  been,  and  is  to-day, 
after  all  these  years,  to  adjust  myself  to  the  idea 
of  three  in  one  and  one  in  three.  But,  while  I 
will  not  judge  others,  there  is  for  me  no  final  rest, 
except  as  I  translate  the  concept  of  God  into  the 
nomenclature  and  personality  of  the  New  Testa- 
ment. What  Paul  says  of  Christ  is  what  I  say;  the 
love  John  felt  it  is  my  dearest  wish  to  cherish. 
Six   years  passed    by,   during   which    I   grew  to 


94  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

love  more  and  more  the  house  of  God  and  the  fel- 
lowship of  the  blessed  Christian  people  who  were 
my  brothers  and  sisters  in  the  church.  The  first 
bereavement  of  my  life  came  to  me  three  years  after 
I  became  a  Christian,  in  the  loss  of  my  only  sister, 
Mary,  whose  life-long  companionship  had  been  a 
living  epistle  to  me,  of  conscientiousness  and  spirit- 
uality. In  her  death  she  talked  of  Christ  as  ''one 
who  held  her  by  the  hand,"  and  she  left  us  with  a 
smile  fresh  from  the  upper  glory.  A  great  spiritual 
uplift  came  to  me  then,  and  her  last  message,  "  Sis- 
ter, I  want  you  to  tell  every  body  to  be  good,"  was 
like  a  perfume  and  a  prophecy  within  my  soul. 
This  was  in  1862.  In  1866  Mrs.  Bishop  Hamline 
came  to  our  village  and  we  were  closely  associated 
in  the  work  of  the  "  American  Methodist  Ladies' 
Centennial  Association  "  that  built  Heck  Hall. 
This  saintly  woman  placed  in  my  hands  the  Life 
of  Hester  Ann  Rogers ;  Life  of  Carvosso ;  Life  of 
Mrs.  Fletcher ;  Wesley's  Sermons  on  Christian  Per- 
fection^ and  Mrs.  Palmer's  Guide  to  Holiness.  I 
had  never  seen  any  of  these  books  before,  but  had 
read  Peck's  Central  Idea  of  Christianity,  and  been 
greatly  interested  in  it.  I  had  also  heard  saintly 
testimonies  in  prayer-meeting,  and,  in  a  general 
way,  believed  in  the  doctrine  of  holiness.  But  my 
reading  of  these  books,  my  talks  and  prayers  with 
Mrs.  Hamline,  that  modern  Mrs.  Fletcher,  deeply  im- 
pressed me.    I  began  to  desire  and  pray  for  holiness 


FRANCES   E.    WILLARD,  95 

of  heart.  Soon  after  this,  Dr.  and  Mrs.  Phebe  Pahner 
came  to  Evanston  as  guests  of  Mrs.  Hamline,  and 
for  weeks  they  held  meetings  in  our  church.  This 
was  in  the  winter  of  1866;  the  precise  date  I  can- 
not give.  One  evening,  early  in  their  meetings, 
when  Mrs.  Palmer  l>ad  spoken  with  marvelous  clear- 
ness and  power,  and  at  the  close  those  desirous  of 
entering  into  the  higher  Christian  life  had  been  asked 
to  kneel  at  the  altar,  another  crisis  came  to  me.  It 
was  not  so  tremendous  as  the  first,  but  it  was  one 
that  deeply  left  its  impress  on  my  spirit.  My 
dear  father  and  a  friend,  whom  we  all  loved  and 
honored,  sat  between  me  and  the  aisle — both 
Christian  men  and  greatly  reverenced  by  me.  My 
mother  sat  beyond  me.  None  of  them  moved.  At 
last  I  turned  to  my  mother  (who  was  converted  and 
joined  the  church  when  she  was  only  twelve  years 
old)  and  whispered,  "  Will  you  go  with  me  to  the 
altar?"  She  did  not  hesitate  a  minute,  and  the 
two  gentlemen  moved  out  of  the  pew  to  let  us  pass, 
but  did  not  go  themselves."^  Kneeling  in  utter 
self-abandonment  I  consecrated  myself  anew  to 
God. 

My  chief  besetments  were,  as  I  thought,  a  specu- 
lative mind,  a  hasty  temper,  a  too  ready  tongue,  and  a 
purpose  to  be  a  celebrated  person.    But  in  that  hour 


••=  A  little  later  my  father  did  publicly  ask  prayers,  though  an  officer  in  the 
church  and  a  Christian  from  early  manhood.  His  remarkable  experience  and 
triumphant  death  in  1868  I  have  described  in  The  Guide  to  Holiness. 


96  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

of  sincere  self-examination  I  felt  humiliated  to  find 
that  the  simple  bits  of  jewelry  I  wore,  gold  buttons, 
rings  and  pin,  all  of  them  plain  and  "quiet"  in 
their  style,  came  up  to  me  as  the  separating  causes 
between  my  spirit  and  my  Saviour.  All  this  seemed 
so  unworthy  of  that  sacred  hour^that  I  thought  at 
first  it  was  a  mere  temptation.  But  the  sense  of  it 
remained  so  strong  that  I  unconditionally  yielded 
my  pretty  little  jewels,  and  great  peace  came  to  my 
soul.  I  cannot  describe  the  deep  welling  up  of 
joy  that  gradually  possessed  me.  I  was  utterly  free 
from  care.  I  was  blithe  as  a  bird  that  is  good  for 
nothing  except  to  sing.  I  did  not  ask  myself  '*  Is 
this  my  duty?"  but  just  intuitively  knew  what  I 
was  called  upon  to  do.  The  conscious,  emotional 
presence  of  Christ  through  the  Holy  Spirit  held 
me.  I  ran  about  upon  his  errands  "just  for  love." 
Life  was  a  halcyon  day.  All  my  friends  knew  and 
noticed  the  change,  and  I  would  not  like  to  write 
down  the  lovely  things  some  of  them  said  to  me  ; 
but  they  did  me  no  harm,  for  I  was  shut  in  with  the 
Lord.  And  yet,  just  then,  there  came,  all  unintended 
and  unlooked  for,  an  experience  of  what  I  did  not 
then  call  sin,  which  I  now  believe  to  have  been 
wrong.  My  own  realization  of  it  was,  however,  so 
imperfect  that  it  did  not  mar  my  loyalty  to  Christ. 
In  this  holy,  happy  state,  I  engaged  to  go  to  Lima, 
New  York,  and  become  preceptress  of  Genesee 
Wesley  an  Seminary.     Just  before  leaving,  my  hon- 


FRANCES   E.   WILLARD.  97 

ored  friend  Dr.  ,  who  was   visiting  Governor 

Evans,  said  to  me  one  evening, 

"  Sister  Frank,  there  is  a  strange  state  of  things 
at  Lima.  The  Free  Methodists  have  done  great 
harm  in  Western  New  York  by  their  excesses  in 
the  doctrine  and  experience  of  hoHness.  You  know 
1  beheve  thoroughly  in  and  profess  it,  but  just  now 
our  Church  has  suffered  so  much  from  the  '  Naza- 
rites,'  as  they  are  called,  that  I  fear  if  you  speak  and 
act  as  zealously  at  Lima  in  this  cause  as  you  do 
here  it  may  make  trouble.  Hold  to  the  expe- 
rience, but  be  very  careful  in  statement." 

So  I  went  to  Lima  with  these  thoughts,  and  there 
quite  soon,  in  a  prayer-meeting  in  the  old  seminary 
chapel— my  good  friend.  Prof. ,  whose  subse- 
quent experience  has  been  such  a  blessed  heritage 
to  Christians,  replied  to  a  student  who  rose  to  in- 
quire about  holiness,  that  it  "  was  a  subject  we  did 
not  mention  here." 

Young  and  docile-minded  as  I  was,  and  revering 
those  two  great  and  true  men,  I  '*  kept  still  "  until 
I  soon  found  I  had  nothing  in  particular  to  keep 
still  about  1  The  experience  left  me.  But  I  think 
my  pupils  of  that  year  will  bear  me  witness  that  for 
their  conversion  and  spiritual  upbuilding  I  was  con- 
stantly at  work. 

Since  then  I  have  sat  at  the  feet  of  every  teacher 
of  holiness  whom    I  could   reach;  have   read  their 
books  and  compared  their  views.     I  love  and  rev- 
7 


98  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

erence  and  am  greatly  drawn  toward  all,  and  never 
feel  out  of  harmony  with  their  spirit.  Wonderful 
uplifts  come  to  me  as  I  pass  on — clearer  views  of 
the  life  of  God  in  the  soul  of  man.  Indeed,  it  is  the 
only  life,  and  all  my  being  sets  toward  it  as  the 
rivers  toward  the  sea.  Celestial  things  grow  dearer 
to  me  ;  the  love  of  Christ  is  steadfast  in  my  soul ; 
the  habitudes  of  a  disciple  sit  more  easily  upon 
me ;  tenderness  toward  humanity  and  the  lower 
orders  of  being  increases  with  the  years.  In  the 
temperance,  labor  and  woman  questions  I  see  the 
stirring  of  Christ's  heart;  in  the  comradeship  of 
Christian  work  my  spirit  takes  delight,  and  prayer 
has  become  my  atmosphere.  But  that  sweet  per- 
vasiveness, that  heaven  in  the  soul,  of  which  I  came 
to  know  in  Mrs.  Palmer's  meeting,  I  do  not  feel. 

I  am  afraid  I  love  too  well  the  good  words  of  the 
good  concerning  what  I  do  ;  that  I  have  not  the  con- 
trol of  tongue  and  temper  that  I  ought  to  have, 
and  that  I  do  not  answer  to  a  good  conscience  in 
the  matter  of  taking  sufficient  physical  exercise. 
But  God  knows  that  I  constantly  lift  up  my  heart  for 
conquest  over  them  all,  and  my  life  is  calm  and 
peaceful. 

Just  as  frankly  as  I  "  think  them  over  "  have  I 
here  written  down  the  outline  phenomena  of  my 
spiritual  life,  hoping  that  it  may  do  good  and  not 
evil  to  those  who  read. 

I  am   a  strictly  loyal   and   orthodox   Methodist, 


* 


FRANCES   E.  WILLARD.  99 

but  I  find  great  good  in  all  religions  and  in  the 
writings  of  those  lofty  and  beautiful  moralists  who 
are  building  better  than  they  know,  and  all  of  whose 
precepts  blossom  from  the  rich  soil  of  the  New 
Testament.  No  word  of  faith  in  God  or  love 
toward  man  is  alien  to  my  sympathy.  The  classic 
ethics  of  Marcus  Aurelius  are  dear  to  me,  and 
I  have  carried  in  my  traveling  outfit  not  only 
a  Kempis,  but  Epictetus  and  Plato.  The  mysticism 
of  Fenelon  and  Guyon,  the  sermons  of  Henry 
Drummond  and  Beecher,  the  lofty  precepts  of  Ralph 
Waldo  Emerson,  all  help  me  up  and  onward.  I  am 
an  eclectic  in  religious  reading,  friendship,  and  in- 
spiration. My  wide  relationships  and  constant  jour- 
neyings  would  have  made  me  so  had  I  not  the  nat- 
ural hospitality  of  mind  that  leads  to  this  estate. 
But,  like  the  bee  that  gathers  from  many  fragrant 
gardens  but  flies  home  with  his  varied  gains  to  the 
same  friendly  and  familiar  hive,  so  I  fly  home  to 
the  sweetness  and  sanctity  of  the  old  faith  that  has 
been  my  shelter  and  solace  so  long. 

•'  Lord  Jesus,  receive  my  spirit,"  is  the  deepest 
voice  out  of  my  soul.  Receive  it  every  instant, 
voluntarily  given  back  to  thyself,  and  receive  it  in 
the  hour  when  I  drop  this  earthly  mantle,  that  I 
wear  to-day,  and  pass  onward  to  the  world  invisible 
but  doubtless  not  far  off. 

FRANCES  E.  WILLARD. 
EvANSTON,  III,,  Afay  20,  1887. 


100  FORTY  WITNESSES. 


XI. 

REV.  G.  D.  WATSON,  D.D. 

(METHODIST.) 

iWAS  born  in  Accomac  County,  Virginia,  March 
26,  1845.  My  father  and  mother,  grandfather 
and  grandmother,  were  Methodists.  I  was  raised 
up  in  family  prayer,  attended  Sabbath-school,  and 
went  through  many  revivals  of  religion.  I  suppose 
I  was  the  black  sheep  of  the  flock  ;  the  worst  boy 
of  the  whole  six.  I  was  exceedingly  passionate, 
self-willed,  imperious  and  contrary. 

My  earliest  convictions  were  when  I  was  five  or 
six  years  old.  One  night  father  and  mother  went 
to  church  and  left  us  children  alone,  the  eldest  being 
twelve  or  thirteen  years  of  age.  We  sang  "  Rock 
of  Ages,"  and  all  got  under  conviction.  I  prayed 
and  cried,  but  did  not  know  what  ailed  me.  At 
that  early  age  I  was  called  to  preach.  When  I  was 
twelve  or  thirteen  I  sought  religion,  and  after  that 
was  at  the  altar  at  every  revival  ;  but  my  will  was 
not  thoroughly   broken  down. 

I  was  converted  in  the  Southern  army,  near  Rich- 
mond, Virginia,  August  12,  1863.  When  I  was  con- 
verted it  was  a  new  creation.  I  read  the  New  Test- 
ament through  twice  that  year.  I  began  to  hold 
prayer-meetings  among  the  young  men.     My  old 


REV.   G.   I).   WATSON,  D.D.  lOI 

companions  would  meet  me  and  knock  my  Bible 
out  of  my  hand  and  call  me  names.  I  had  not 
been  saved  a  month  until  I  found  there  was  inbred 
sin  in  my  heart.  I  had  never  heard  of  holiness.  If 
some  one  had  known  how  to  lead  me  I  think  I 
would  have  obtained  the  blessing  then. 

I  went  to  the  Biblical  Institute  at  Concord,  New 
Hampshire,  where  I   acquired  a  knowledge  of  the 
rudiments  of  Hebrew,  Greek,  and  theology. 
^     I  joined  the  Philadelphia  Conference  in  1868.     I 
went  to  the   National  Camp-meeting  at  Oakington 
in   1869,  and  there  first   heard  a  sermon   on   entire 
sanctification.     I  went  to  the   altar  seeking  it,  led 
there  through  the  influence  of  Alfred  Cookman,  who 
was  then  a  member  of  my  Conference.     I  received  a 
great  blessing,  felt  great  tranquillity,  and  called  it 
perfect  love.     I  went  back  and  testified  to  holiness. 
My  presiding  elder  opposed  the  doctrine  and  rid- 
iculed me  for  preaching   in   advance  of  my  elders, 
and  so  did  others  ;  and  under  the  pressure  I  did  not 
testify  as  often   as   I    should.      I  did   not  preach 
against  it  ;  but  I  did  not  stand  up  for  the  doctrine, 
and  soon  got  back   into  my  old   state.     I  then  de- 
scended  from  a  restful   Christianity  to  a  toilsome 
Christianity,  and  also  began  using  tobacco  again.     I 
had  hours  of  communion  with  God,  but  they  were 
unsteady  ;  and  I  had  a  great  deal  of  soul  twilight. 
I  loved  to  preach  ;  enjoyed  a  revival ;  felt  much  en- 
thusiasm in  all  the  interests  of  my  church ;  felt  at 


102  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

home  in  Christian  society,  and  was  often  thrilled 
with  the  harmony  and  grandeur  of  Bible  truth.  I 
went  into  science  and  philosophy.  For  four  or 
five  years  I  ate  the  strongest  intellectual  food  that 
the  Church  could  furnish  me.  But  I  was  starving 
my  heart  by  trying  to  feed  my  brain.  All  this  time 
I  was  trying  to  seek  God.  I  would  break  down  and 
cry  over  my  condition.  God  blessed  my  labors,  and 
souls  were  converted.  But  I  was  having  a  terrible 
struggle  with  myself.  I  felt  my  whole  life  to  be  one 
unending  will  struggle.  I  suffered  more  than  tongue 
can  tell  from  melancholy.  An  unkind  or  unfavor- 
able criticism,  or  an  apparent  neglect,  would  often 
hurl  my  spirits  into  deepest  gloom.  I  grew  tired 
of  living  in  the  public  eye ;  tired  of  routine  work  ; 
but  most  tired  of  myself.  My  wife  was  sick,  and  I 
could  not  bear  sickness.  I  had  a  great  deal  of 
trouble  that  others  did  not  see  was  trouble,  and  yet 
sorely  tried  me. 

In  October,  1876,  I  began  to  seek  holiness  again. 
I  was  now  filled  with  all  sorts  of  notions.  I  said,  I 
will  grow  into  it.  Then  I  took  up  the  repression 
theory,  then  the  Zinzendorf  theory.  I  was  like  a 
sailor,  first  setting  his  sails  one  way,  then  another. 

One  cannot  always  tell  by  the  way  a  man  talks 
what  he  thinks.  Three  weeks  before  I  was  sancti- 
fied I  said  in  a  preachers'  meeting,  "When  God  con- 
verts a  soul  he  makes  it  as  pure  as  it  ever  will  be," 
and  at  the  same  time  I  was  seeking  holiness. 


REV.    G.    D.    WATSON,  D.D.  103 

About  this  time  a  local  preacher  came  and  said 
to  me  :  *'*  Would  you  object  to  having  a  few  holiness 
people  from  Cincinnati  come  up  and  hold  a  three- 
days'  holiness- meeting  ?  "  I  told  him  I  should  be 
very  glad  to  have  them  come.  On  the  ist  day  of 
December,  1876,  the  holiness-meeting  began.  That 
night,  after  my  wife  had  retired,  I  prayed  for  an 
hour,  as  was  my  custom.  Sometimes  the  next  day 
I  would  get  mad,  and  my  wife  would  say,  "  I  am 
ashamed  of  you.  I  am  afraid  you  have  not  a  bit  of 
religion,  and  you  preaching  as  you  do."  I  felt 
ashamed,  and  yet  I  would  sometimes  defend  myself, 
and  then  go  away  and  pray  and  cry  over  it.  But 
that  Friday  night  I  was  teachable  as  I  lay  on  the 
edge  of  the  bed,  with  my  hand  under  my  cheek  and 
my  face  toward  the  door  so  as  not  to  disturb  any 
one.  Then  the  Lord  began  to  talk  to  me.  "  Will 
you  do  all  for  my  glory  ?  "  "  Yes,  Lord."  "  Sup- 
pose your  wife  will  not  believe  and  accept  it,  will 
you  receive  it?"  "Yes,  Lord."  ''Will  you  con- 
sent for  me  to  make  your  family  sick  ;  your  wife 
sick  ?  "  "  Yes,  Lord  ;  give  me  the  blessing."  "Will 
you  let  me  take  your  health  in  my  hand — give  you 
bronchitis  or  consumption  ?"  "  Yes,  Lord."  "Any 
time  I  send  for  you,  will  you  come?"  "Yes,  Lord. 
Any  time  you  want  me  to  die,  I  will  consent  to  go." 
"  Will  you  consent  to  leave  those  large  appoint- 
ments you  have  been  having  ?  Will  you  consent  to 
take  a  poor  appointment  for  me  ?  "      "  Yes,  Lord,  I 


104  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

will  take  the  poorest  appointment  in  Indiana  if  it 
is  thy  will."  (And  there  were  some  poor  ones.) 
"  Suppose  I  want  you  to  go  and  preach  among  the 
Freedmen,  will  you  go?"  I  said,  ^' Yes,  Lord,  if 
it  is  thy  will."  "  Will  you  give  up  your  tobacco, 
that  your  body  may  be  my  clean  temple?  "  I  had 
tried  several  times  to  give  it  up,  but  would  go  back 
to  it  again.  I  said,  "Yes,  Lord,  I  will  give  it  up.  I 
will  do  any  thing.  Give  me  the  blessing."  When 
I  got  all  through  I  dropped  to  sleep.  I  do  not 
know  how  it  was,  but  when  I  waked  up  next  morn- 
ing I  found  the  appetite  for  tobacco  was  gone.  I 
never  have  taken  back  that  consecration. 

The  following  Monday,  December  4,  at  noon, 
I  went  into  my  study  and  began  reading  the  Script- 
ures, with  the  first  chapter  of  First  Peter  :  ''  Peter, 
an  Apostle  of  Jesus  Christ.  .  .  .  Elect  according  to 
the  pre-knowledge  of  God  the  Father  through  sanc- 
tification  of  the  Spirit."  I  stopped.  "There," 
said  I,  "  that  is  sanctification."  *'  Whom  having 
not  seen  ye  love."  "  I  do  love  thee,  and  I  know 
thou  lovest  me."  "  In  whom,  though  now  ye  see 
him  not,  yet  believing,  ye  rejoice  with  joy  unspeak- 
able and  full  of  glory."  As  I  uttered  these  words 
God  let  loose  a  Niagara  of  salvation  in  my  soul.  I 
walked  back  and  forth  shouting.  Glory  to  God  ! 
After  a  time  that  subsided  into  a  calm. 

My  next  appointment  was  where  the  church  was 
very  worldly.     Still  there  were  some  lowly  ones,  as 


REV.    G.    D.    WATSON,    D.D.  IO5 

there  are  in  all  churches.  The  Lord  saved  some 
there;  but  I  had  a  terrible  time.  I  got  rash  and  said 
harsh  things.  I  would  say  things  that  took  the  skin 
off.  Instead  of  encouraging  and  strengthening  the 
weak  I  would  strike  hard  blows.  Several  times  I 
lost  the  witness  of  holiness  and  would  have  to  fly 
back  to  the  fountain.  Sometimes  I  acted  wrong 
with  my  wife.  I  tried  to  hurry  her  along  and  have 
her  get  the  experience  as  I  did.  It  was  not  her  na- 
ture, and  it  could  not  be  expected  she  would  get  it 
as  I  did.  Sometimes,  perhaps,  I  would  say  things 
to  try  to  urge  her  along  too  fast  ;  then  I  would  see 
I  had  done  wrong  and  ask  her  pardon.  Then  I 
would  go  to  the  Lord  and  say,  ''  Put  me  in  the 
fountain." 

I  went  to  another  place,  and  began  urging  men 
too  fast.  An  old  man,  the  one  who  led  -Bishop 
Hamline  into  sanctification,  came  to  me  and  put 
his  arms  around  me  and  said,  "  You  are  preaching 
holiness  in  the  wrong  way."  About  that  time  I  had 
a  sort  of  vision.  I  thought  I  saw  a  large  flock  of 
sheep.  Some  were  scratched  with  thorns,  some 
with  the  wool  off;  others  had  horns  ;  then  there  were 
lambs.  I  was  walking  around  among  the  sheep 
with  a  club  trying  to  keep  them  right.  I  saw  I  was 
wrong.  This  was  three  years  after  I  had  been 
cleansed. 

Then  I  was  in  a  hurry.  I  wanted  to  be  as  perfect 
as  Paul  in  all  things,  right  away. 


I06  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

The  Lord  has  since  melted  me  down  and  softened 
my  heart.  I  love  all  God's  people.  The  devil  has 
tried,  on  one  side,  to  make  me  too  tame.  I  had  been 
too  radical,  and  when  I  began  to  be  too  conservative 
the  Lord  brought  me  back.  I  was  like  a  pendulum 
— first  swinging  too  far  this  way,  and  then  the  Lord 

would  bring  me  back. 

And  now,  after  suffering  many  defeats,  learning 
many  lessons  in  this  Canaan  of  Perfect  Love,  I  praise 
God  for  the  trials  of  my  faith  and  for  his  marvelous 
keeping  power.  I  have  learned  that  I  must  be  an 
uncompromising,  unwavering  witness  to  the  cleans- 
ing power  of  Christ ;  that  I  must  not  make  an  idol 
of  holiness  or  holy  people  ;  that  I  must  not  lean 
upon  my  emotions,  but  must  walk  by  faith,  and 
sometimes  in  seasons  of  darkness ;  that  Satan  tempts 
and  tries  me  more  directly  and  boldly  than  ever  be- 
fore ;  that  I  must  often  be  dead  to  things  and  plans 
that  are  in  themselves  innocent ;  must  sow  and  reap, 
or  sow  and  let  others  reap.  My  heart  breaks  down 
under  a  delicious  burden  of  humble  and  adoring 
praise  to  the  wonderful  Jesus.  I  have  no  will  of  my 
own.  My  will  is  the  will  of  my  Father.  A  sense 
of  utter  nothingness  is  growing  upon  me,  together 
with  an  increasing  sense  of  the  merit  of  Jesus. 

G.  D.  WATSON. 
Windsor,  Fla.,  March  12,  1887. 


REV.    B.  F.  CRARY,    D.D.  107 


XIT. 

REV.  B.  F.  CRARY,  D.D. 

,r       (METHODIST.) 

T  WAS  born  in  Jennings  County,  Indiana,  Decem- 
J^  ber  12,  1821,  and  was  converted  to  God  in  Jan- 
uary, 1839,  while  at  school  at  Pleasant  Hill,  Ohio. 
The  revival  was  under  a  most  devoted  Presbyte- 
rian minister.  My  conversion  was  clear,  and  my 
peace  with  God  constant  and  wonderful  for  months. 
I  was  admitted  to  the  Indiana  Conference  in  the 
fall  of  1845,  and  had  been  for  three  years  before 
that  under  a  strong  impression  that  I  ought  to 
preach.  I  had  most  of  the  time  a  consciousness  of 
pardoned  sin  and  fellowship  with  God,  but  felt  at 
times  great  depression  of  spirits  and  doubt  about 
my  duty. 

I  did  not  readily  yield  to  my  conviction  that 
I  ought  to  preach,  but  instead  pursued  my  own 
chosen  path  and  studied  law,  and  was  admitted 
to  practice.  I  always  felt  a  degree  of  happiness 
in  talking  to  others  about  religious  matters,  and 
was  active  in  Christian  work.  In  the  summer  of 
1845  I  yielded  so  far  to  the  voice  of  the  Spirit  as 
to  submit  my  case  to  the  will  of  the  Church,  intend- 
ing to  take  the  decision  of  the  Conference  as  a  final 


I08  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

providential  direction.  I  was  admitted,  and  sent 
to  a  large  circuit. 

My  conversion  had  been  instantaneous,  and  about 
midnight,  and  the  joy  of  it  kept  me  up  all  night. 
So  I  never  doubted  that,  but  had  times  of  dense 
darkness  through  which  I  fought  with  desperation, 
holding  to  the  fact  of  my  regeneration  and  to 
God's  promise.  In  preaching  I  had  times  of  great 
triumph,  and  then  again  was  overwhelmed  with 
confusion  bordering  on  despair.  It  seemed  as 
though  I  was  left  to  myself,  and  my  weakness  was 
unaccountable  and  my  doubts  very  distressing. 

In  1847  I  r^ad  with  great  care  The  Life  of  John 
Fletcher,  and  also  his  treatise  on  Christian  Perfec- 
tion. I  read  them  on  horseback,  studying,  praying, 
and  often  weeping  over  them  and  over  my  own 
want  of  such  experiences.  In  1849,  ^^  3,  revival 
meeting,  in  the  month  of  July,  while  many  souls 
were  seeking  Christ  and  I  was  profoundly  interested 
and  affected  in  talking  with  them,  and  was  very 
happy  in  my  own  soul,  I  was  led  into  a  faith  and 
an  expereience  I  never  had  before. 

While  kneeling  at  the  "  mourners'  bench  "  and 
directing  a  poor  sinner  how  to  trust  God,  a  devoted 
sister,  who  knew  my  own  convictions  and  experi- 
ence, and  who  enjoyed  perfect  love  herself,  said  to 
me  very  quietly,  ''  Brother  Crary,  you  had  better  try 
that  yourself,  and  trust  God  for  full  salvation."  I 
said  then  and  there,  "  I  will ;  I  do  ;  bless  the  Lord!  " 


REV.  B.    F.    CRARV,   D.D.  IO9 

This  meeting  was  near  Bedford,  Lawrence 
County,  Indiana.  I  had  after  that  a  constant 
experience  of  the  love  of  God  in  my  soul,  and 
never  afterward  went  back  so  far  that  I  fell  into 
the  doubts  and  depressions  which  before  that  gave 
me  so  much  trouble.  It  was  a  quiet,  subdued,  con- 
stant peace  and  joy.  I  had  afterward  a  time  of  long 
and  fearful  trials,  sickness,  sorrow  and  death  in  my 
family,  stroke  after  stroke,  until  a  shivering  dread 
of  disease  and  death  came  over  me.  I  did  not  fear 
for  myself,  but  for  my  remaining  children  and 
friends. 

I  then  learned  the  meaning  of  "  Thy  will  be  done," 
and  finally  could  say  it  and  feel  it.  Before  that  I 
thought  I  could  and  would  do  any  thing  for 
Christ ;  now  I  learned  to  suffer  and  bear  it  patiently. 
That  was  another  great  victory,  and  I  rejoiced  and 
was  glad,  and  sang  and  triumphed.  My  faith 
became  fixed  and  I  took  to  myself  God's  promises. 
Then  I  entered  into  another  state  of  temptation 
from  most  unfortunate  financial  troubles.  They 
were  small,  but  no  less  grievous.  I  never  lost  faith 
in  God  nor  gave  up  my  trust  in  any  way,  but  was 
helpless,  not,  as  I  believed,  from  my  own  fault,  and 
I  had  to  bear  a  most  cruel  weight  of  suspicion  and 
sometimes  harsh  accusations.  I  paid,  month  by 
month,  debts  that  oppressed  me,  and  grieved  in 
silence  and  alone.  This  I  had  to  bear  through 
weary  years.    On  a  small  salary  I  contrived  to  save 


no  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

some  and  pay  what  I  could.  I  dared  not  go  in 
debt  any  more  nor  borrow  any  thing.  During  this 
time  I  could  not  explain,  and  I  grew  naturally  cau- 
tious about  saying  much  concerning,  my  Christian 
experience  ;  but  I  never  denied  God  nor  lost  my 
faith. 

Intimate  friends  blamed  me  sometimes  for  being 
so  troubled  over  this  matter.  I  found  myself  help- 
less and  broken  over  this  most  unfortunate  affair. 
I  believe  I  had  friends  who  could  and  would  have 
helped  me,  but  I  did  not  ask  them  nor  tell  them. 
But  now,  having  done  what  I  could  alone,  and  hav- 
ing left  all  with  God,  still  hoping,  working,  and 
trusting,  I  find  that  my  faith  has  grown  into  full 
assurance,  and  my  peace  flows  like  a  river.  Good- 
ness and  mercy  fill  up  the  days  and  nights,  and  my 
soul  often  cries  out,  '*  God  is  good  !  "  I  never  mis- 
took regeneration  for  Christian  perfection.  Both 
experiences  were  clear  and  definite  epochs  in 
my  life.  I  have  always  preached  that  the  Christian 
may,  and  indeed  must,  be  sanctified  wholly.  At  this 
time,  March  4,  1887,  I  find  my  faith  simple  and  my 
peace  perfect.  I  put  myself  and  my  family  in  God's 
hands  with  such  a  sweet  and  precious  trust  that 
my  burden  seems  all  cast  upon  the  Lord.  I  find 
myself  in  the  most  joyful  fellowship  with  God's 
people.  My  whole  soul  overflows  with  gratitude 
and  praise.  So  I  have  enjoyed  this  gift  and  grace 
thirty-eight  years,  during  which  I  have  never  lost 


REV.    B.    F.    CRARY,    D.D.  Ill 

this  sense  of  rest  and  peace  with  God,  though  at 
times  in  the  midst  of  manifold  troubles.  I  had 
lived,  after  my  conversion,  ten  years  in  a  state  too 
fluctuating  and  uncertain,  and  had  sought  perfect 
love  most  earnestly  at  intervals,  but  did  not  find  it 
until  I  fully  believed  and  obtained  the  baptism  of 
power  through  the  Holy  Ghost.  I  have  never  in 
the  least  degree  lost  faith  in  my  brethren  in  the 
Church  nor  joined  w^ith  those  who  indulged  in  fault- 
finding and  denunciations,  but  have  lived  in  peace, 
and  done  what  I  could  to  save  souls,  having  the 
sweetest  fellowship  with  all  Christians. 

B.  F.  CRARY. 
San  Francisco,  Cal.,  March  5,  1887. 


112  FORTY   WITNESSES. 


XIII. 

LUKE   WOODARD. 

(FRIEND.) 

T  WAS  born  at  New  Garden,  Wayne  County, 
J^  Indiana,  on  March  12,  1832.  My  parents  were 
members  of  the  Society  of  Orthodox  Friends;  were 
exemplary,  godly  people ;  and  hence  I  enjoyed  the 
advantages  of  careful  training.  While  I  was,  during 
my  youth  and  early  manhood,  preserved  from  im- 
morality and  kept  a  tender  conscience,  I  was  not 
converted  till  my  twenty-fifth  year. 

My  awakening  was  sudden  and  very  powerful.  In- 
dependent of  any  immediate  instrumentality,  *'  an 
horror  of  great  darkness  fell  upon  "  me  at  midnight. 
I  trembled  violently  at  the  sight  of  my  guilty  and 
undone  condition.  I  cried  to  the  Lord,  but,  for 
want  of  a  clear  understanding  of  the  blessed  doctrine 
of  justification  by  faith,  I  did  not  for  some  weeks 
get  the  assurance  that  my  sins  were  forgiven,  and 
find  peace  with  God.  But  suddenly  Christ  revealed 
himself  to  me,  and  I  was  overcome  with  the  joyous 
sense  that  I  was  accepted  in  him. 

I  soon  began  to  tell  others  what  the  Lord  had 
done  for  me,  and  he  opened  the  precious  truths  of 


LUKE    WOODARD.  II3 

his  word  to  me  and  called  me  to  preach  his  Gospel. 
*'  I  was  not  disobedient  to  the  heavenly  vision."  I 
never  broke  the  covenant  I  made  to  endeavor  to  be 
faithful  in  this  service,  and  he  blessed  me  and  en- 
larged my  gift,  which,  in  due  time,  was  indorsed  by 
the  Church ;  and  I  had  some  seals  to  my  ministry. 

Some  years  after  I  began  to  preach,  while  realizing 
that  I  had  not  lost  my  hold  on  Christ  or  backslid- 
den, I  became  conscious  of  internal  conflicts  like 
that  described  in  the  7th  of  Romans.  I  understood 
the  full  meaning  of  the  words,  ''  If  I  do  that  I 
would  not,  it  is  no  more  I  that  do  it,  but  sin  that 
dwelleth  in  me."  By  a  combination  of  providential 
occurrences  I  was  brought  to  understand,  in  a  meas- 
ure, the  doctrine  of  entire  sanctification  as  a  result 
of  the  baptism  with  the  Holy  Ghost,  received  upon 
condition  of  definite  consecration  to  God  and  the 
prayer  of  faith.  Here  Satan  took  advantage,  and 
presented  the  fearful  responsibility  involved  in  such 
a  consecration  as  I  saw  it  to  be,  to  give  myself 
wholly  and  forever  to  God. 

I  saw  it  meant  more  than  to  consecrate  myself 
to  his  service  in  any  particular  work.  It  was  like 
signing  a  blank  sheet,  leaving  it  for  God  to  fill  out 
as  he  chose.  The  devil  paraded  before  me  the  pos- 
sibility that  I  might  be  called  to  go  to  Africa,  and 
this  I  feared  I  would  not  do,  and  he  made  me  be- 
lieve it  was  "  better   not   to  vow  than   to  vow  and 

not   pay."     Now  my  agony  of  soul  became   great. 

8 


114  FORTY   WITNESSES. 

It  was  like  Bunyan's  pilgrim's  fight  with  Apollyon. 
1  many  times  groaned,  *'  O,  wretched  man  that  I 
am  !  who  shall  deliver  me  from  this  body  of  death?" 

At  length,  while  engaged  with  some  brethren  in 
Michigan  in  holding  some  meetings  in  the  autumn 
of  1871,  I  heard  yet  more  definite  instruction  on  this 
most  important  feature  of  Christian  experience. 
Early  in  the  morning  of  October  31  of  this  year,  in 
the  city  of  Adrian,  as  I  was  communing  with  my 
own  heart  upoi^my  bed  alone,  I  made  this  resolve: 
"  I  will  go  to  the  meeting  this  morning,  and  there,  it 
may  be,  I  will  receive  the  longed-for  baptism,"  when 
something  seemed  to  whisper,  "  Why  not  now?" 
And  at  once  I  responded,  "  And  why  not  now  ?  " 
And  with  that  I  seemed  to  sink  into  the  will  of  God. 
I  hardly  knew  how,  but  O,  such  a  flood  of  glory  as 
covered  me!  My  whole  being  seemed  permeated 
with  divine  power  and  joy  unspeakable.  I  wept 
tears  of  joy.  That  morning  I  made  a  formal  con- 
secration at  the  family  altar,  and  went  to  the  meet- 
ing and  testified  to  what  God  had  done  for  my 
soul. 

The  first  test  I  had  was  the  suggestion  that  when 
I  returned  home  I  should  say  nothing  about  it,  or 
speak  of  it  only  in  general  terms  and  let  people 
judge  from  my  life.  But  I  soon  saw  that  my  cov- 
enant of  consecration  meant  to  speak  for  God  as  his 
witness,  and  he  gave  mc  the  victory.  I  have  not 
been  free  from  various  tests  and  severe  temptations, 


LUKE   WOODARD.  II5 

but  the  gracious  Lord  has  been  with  me,  and  while 
there  have  been  times  of  momentary  wavering  yet 
at  no  time  have  I  lapsed  entirely  from  this  expe- 
rience, and  the  Lord  has  taught  me  many  precious 
lessons  of  his  truth,  and  blessed  to  my  greater  es- 
tabhshment  in  holiness  some  very  severe  trials  ;  and 
through  the  exceeding  riches  of  his  grace  I  can  now 
say  the  blood  cleanseth  and  the  Comforter  abideth 
within  my  heart.     Glory  to   the   Father,  Son,  and 

Holy  Ghost ! 

LUKE  WOODARD. 

Glens  Falls,  N.  Y.,Jtme  18,  1887. 


Il6  FORTY   WITNESSES. 


XIV. 

REV.  JOHN  PARKER. 

(METHODIST.) 

THERE  were  no  circumstances  in  my  early 
life  especially  friendly  to  the  doctrine  or  ex- 
perience of  entire  sanctification,  except  that  the 
Divine  Spirit  called  me  in  early  years  to  the  Chris- 
tian life  and  made  me  very  susceptible  to  religious 
influences.  So  that  at  ten  years  of  age  I  had  a 
fair  apprehension  of  the  nature  of  sin,  a  dread  of 
God's  displeasure  because  of  it,  and  a  strong  desire 
to  be  guided  to  the  knowledge  of  salvation.  But 
mine  was  a  home  without  prayer,  or  Bible,  or  godly 
influence,  yet  I  prayed  and  lived  in  daily  fear  of  the 
consequences  of  sin  from  childhood. 

The  Wesleyan  Sabbath-schools  of  England,  to 
which  I  owe  much  of  my  early  convictions  and 
character,  were  supplied  with  the  best  library- 
books  relating  to  the  Christian  life,  and  until  my 
sixteenth  year  I  read  these  with  great  avidity. 
At  the  age  of  sixteen  I  was  thoroughly  con- 
verted, after  three  months  of  diligent  seeking ;  so 
converted  as  to  be  forever  spoiled  for  a  mixed 
life.  My  hunger  for  good  books  was  now  greatly 
increased.     I  read  the  writings  of  Wesley,  Fletcher, 


REV.   JOHN    PARKER.  II/ 

Clark,  and  the  biographies  of  early  Methodism. 
I  was  deeply  convicted  for  the  blessing  of  a  clean 
heart,  and  obtained  it  in  six  months  after  my 
conversion — while  reading  The  Life  of  Hester  Ann 
Rogers.  I  did  not,  of  course,  understand  the  phi- 
losophy of  the  doctrine,  or  its  relation  to  my 
needs;  but,  daily  beset  by  the  most  violent  an- 
tagonisms to  the  Christian  life,  I  felt  the  need  of 
something  which  would  give  me  greater  strength 
and  rest. 

At  twelve  years  of  age,  while  working  in  the  cot- 
ton mill,  I  was  severely  injured,  so  that  during  the 
four  following  years  I  suffered  greatly  from  pain- 
and  poverty.  Out  of  this  came  the  advantage  to 
me  of  a  lowly  mind — a  simple,  confiding  heart, 
ready  to  receive  the  truth  and  light  of  the  Spirit. 
By  severe  discipline  from  my  earliest  years  I  had 
also  obtained  self-reliance,  and  courage  to  attempt 
and  pursue  to  the  end  whatever  I  felt  to  be  my 
duty.  Thus  had  God  prepared  me  to  welcome  this 
self-crucifying  doctrine  and  life  of  perfect  love.  I 
had  little  to  give  up,  for  my  estate  and  prospects 
were  exceedingly  limited. 

But  I  gave  myself  intelligently,  deliberately,  for- 
ever. And  my  heart  was  open  as  the  flower  to 
welcome  the  light  and  warmth  of  divine  love.  It 
was  morning  at  last ;  the  night  had  seemed  long  to 
me,  for  I  had  no  happy  childhood  ;  the  light  had 
come,  and  how   I  w^elcomed   it !     I    now    entered 


Il8  FORTY   WITNESSES. 

the  Beulah-land  life,  without  any  purpose  to 
experiment  on  the  subject  of  full  salvation  by 
avowing  it  only  while  favorable  and  convenient. 
My  consecration  was,  like  my  marriage  in  later 
years,  for  life,  without  drift,  but  with  growing  love. 
And  after  forty-six  years  of  its  experience  and 
profession,  and  often  of  reproach,  my  purpose  is 
unchanged.  For  with  me  the  logic  of  the  doctrine 
is  very  short,  sharp  and  direct.  Either  I  can  be 
holy  or  I  cannot.  If  I  can  I  must,  for  God  wills 
it.  He  cannot  approve  in  me  the  opposite  of  his  will. 
Fellowship  with  him,  therefore,  is  impossible  with- 
out obedience,  for  less  than  obedience  is  sin.  God 
offers  to  make  me  holy  through  my  faith  in  the 
atonement  of  Christ,  and  to  maintain  in  my  heart 
and  life  that  holiness  by  the  ministry  and  inreign- 
ing  of  the  Holy  Spirit.  Less  than  glad  acceptance 
of  his  grace  is  rejection,  and  rejection  is  sin.  I  can- 
not be  a  sinning  child  of  God  and  heir  of  heaven. 
But  I  must  be  his  child  ;  I  am  in  great  earnest  to 
get  to  heaven.  He  approved  in  his  servants  of  old 
their  plain  delaration  that  they  sought  a  heavenly 
country.  I  love  his  approval  more  than  I  love  the 
light  of  my  eyes.  Mine  shall  be  a  plain  declara- 
tion daily  that  I  am  going  to  heaven.  Then  I 
must  be  holy.  I  can  be  holy.  I  will.  I  rely  this 
moment  on  his  power  to  make  me  clean,  and  he 
doeth  it ;  by  faith  I  walk,  live,  and  sing  in  liberty, 
victory  and  joy. 


REV.   JOHN    PARKER.  II9 

''How  did  I  become  established  ?"  It  is  diffi- 
cult to  answer  this  question.  For  nothing  in  my 
life  of  consecration  supplies  me  with  a  starting- 
point  for  thought.  As  well  ask  the  obedient  and 
loving  child  of  a  wise  and  devoted  parent,  "  How- 
do  you  manage  to  keep  from  running  away  from 
home  ?  "  Or  the  godly  and  devoted  husband,  "  How 
do  you  keep  from  drift?"  Each  would  say  what  I 
want  to  say,  "  I  never  have  thought  of  drift."  Love 
knows  nothing  of  drift,  or  vacillation,  or  weariness, 
in  its  constancy.  My  only  answer  is,  I  saw  the 
King  and  loved  him  perfectly,  and  with  my  increas- 
ing years  my  vision  of  God  is  enlarged  ;  so  is  my 
love.  My  heart  was  defiled,  even  after  my  thor- 
ough conversion.  He  promised  to  make  me  clean 
and  then  to  put  his  Holy  Spirit  within  the  heart 
he  had  cleansed.  He  did  it.  He  doeth  it  now. 
He  keeps  me  satisfied,  but  O,  so  hungry.  ''  They 
that  know  thy  name,"  thy  perfections,  ''  will  put 
their  trust  in  thee."  I  know  his  name.  He  deigns 
to  reveal  himself  to  me  every  day  ;  and  thus  I  am 
abased  in  my  own  eyes,  but  exalted  in  his.  He 
keeps  me  clean  and  strong  and  free. 

It  takes  an  all-consuming  and  separating  love  to 
settle  and  establish  heart  and  mind  in  the  fullness 
of  gospel  liberty  and  rest,  and  to  die  to  unholy 
ambition  for  pre-eminence  or  popular  favor.  God 
could  not  trust  me  with  distinction  or  popular 
favor  or  wealth.     He  has  trusted  me  with  his  com- 


I20  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

munion  and  kept  me  lowly,  and  I  am  satisfied. 
The  books  I  prefer  do  not  suggest  doubt ;  I  have 
enough  of  that  without  feeding  it.  The  society  I 
seek  does  not  weaken  me  by  dissipation.  The 
unfriendliness  of  the  average  church  to  the  subject 
gives  me  pain,  but  no  fear.  I  have  stood  alone 
many,  many  times  ;  I  can  do  so  to  the  end.  I  have 
reached  a  place  in  Christian  life  where  my  own 
company  is  a  pleasure  to  me,  for  my  conscience 
attests  my  sincerity  and  the  Holy  Spirit  attests  that 
I  am  clean  through  the  blood.  There  are  forty- 
six  years  of  this  life  behind  me,  an  eternity  before 
me.  I  am  established  ;  He  has  done  it.  *'  Rooted 
and  built  up  in  him,  established  in  the  faith,  abound- 
ing therein  with  thanksgiving."     Hallelujah  ! 

JOHN  PARKER. 
Hamden,  Connecticut,  Jitly  ii,  1887. 


CAPT.  R.  KELSO  CARTER.         121 


XV. 
CAPT.  R.  KELSO  CARTER.* 

(METHODIST.) 

FROM  the  very  hour  of  my  birth,  in  1849,  ^  ^"^^^ 
surrounded  by  the  best  Christian  influence. 
My  father  has  stood  for  nearly  half  a  century  in  the 
foremost  rank  of  aggressive  Christian  workers  in  the 
city  of  Baltimore,  and  by  his  side  I  had  ever  the 
example  of  one  of  those  sweet,  gentle,  patient,  lov- 
ing mothers,  whose  presence  seems  always  to  reflect 
a  little  of  heaven's  light  upon  the  darkness  of  this 
world. 

I  cannot  remember  when  I  was  not  subject  to 
deep  convictions  of  sin  and  sensible  of  my  duty 
toward  God  ;  yet,  as  a  school-boy,  I  wandered  far 
from  the  path  of  truth  until  the  age  of  fifteen,  when, 
under  the  blessed  influences  of  the  cadet  prayer- 
meeting  in  the  Pennsylvania  Military  Academy,  I 
made  a  profession  of  faith  in  Jesus  and  united  with 
the  Presbyterian  Church — my  parents'  denomina- 
tion. 

I  was  happy,  but  I  made  the  common  mistake  of 
our  day ;  I  did  not  forsake  my  old  companions  and 
habits,  and  the  inevitable  result  followed.  For  four- 

*  For  twenty  years  of  the  Pennsylvania  Military  Academy. 


122  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

teen  years  I  lived  the  up-and-down  experience  so 
bitterly  familiar  to  the  average  church  member.  I 
attended  church,  went  to  the  prayer-meeting,  took 
part  in  it  quite  frequently,  spoke  on  religious  sub- 
jects and  on  temperance,  always  from  a  gospel 
stand-point ;  and  unquestionably  I  grew  in  grace  to 
some  extent.  I  never  enjoyed  myself  so  much  as 
when  I  was  working  in  Mr.  Moody's  inquiry-meet- 
ings in  Baltimore,  in  1878-9;  and  yet,  even  up  to 
that  time,  I  was  continually  slipping  and  falling  be- 
fore tempers  or  desires,  in  some  form  or  other. 
Confession  and  prayer  brought  forgiveness,  and  I 
was  very  sure  that  I  was  God's  child,  so  that  when 
asked,  "  Are  you  a  Christian  ?  "  I  never  thought  of 
answering  in  any  other  way  than,  "  Yes,  thank  the 
Lord." 

But  all  this  time  there  w^as  a  tremendous  convic- 
tion of  a  great  inward  need,  a  cry  from  my  soul  that 
God  would  take  away  frorri  my  heart  these  internal 
desires  toward  evil.  I  had  never  read  a  line  on  the 
subject ;  had  never  heard  a  sermon  on  the  Holy 
Ghost  or  upon  the  subject  of  sanctification  ;  had 
never  been  to  a  camp-meeting  nor  entered  a  Meth- 
odist church  more  than  three  times.  But  my  soul 
cried  out  for  complete  deliverance,  and  God's  un- 
limited promises  stood  out  like  stars  above  me. 
But  I  was  not  ready  and  willing  to  pay  the  price. 

In  the  summer  of  1879,  my  heart,  which  had  been 
chronically  diseased   for  seven    years,  resisting  the 


CAPT.    R.    KELSO    CARTER.  1 23 

remedies  of  the  ablest  physicians,  and  refusing  to 
grow  better  even  after  three  years  spent  in  sheep- 
ranching  among  the  mountains  of  CaHfornia,  sud- 
denly broke  down  so  seriously  as  to  bring  me  to  the 
very  verge  of  the  grave.  I  had  heard  a  little  of  the 
"prayer  of  faith"  for  healing,  but  I  felt  persuaded 
that  it  would  border  upon  blasphemy  to  ask  God 
for  a  strength  which  I  did  not  propose  to  use  wholly 
for  him  ;  and  hence  it  was  that  this  desire  for 
health  only  increased  the  sense  of  the  necessity  for 
a  great  and  entire  consecration. 

Kneeling  alone  in  my  mother's  room  in  Balti- 
more, in  the  month  of  July,  I  made  a  consecration 
that  covered  every  thing.  I  have  never  been  com- 
pelled to  renew  it,  for  it  included  all.  To  die  at 
once — a  young  man  ;  to  live  and  suffer ;  to  live  and 
recover ;  to  be,  to  do,  to  suffer  any  tJimg  for  Jesus — 
this  was  my  consecration.  All  doubtful  things  were 
swept  aside  and  a  large  margin  left  on  God's  side. 
I  knew  in  my  soul  that  I  meant  every  word  ;  and 
so  I  have  never  had  any  doubts  about  it  since.  A 
certain  sense  of  peace  and  quietness  gradually  came 
over  me.  I  never  had  any  sudden  overpowering 
manifestation  ;  and  I  found  the  whole  Bible  won- 
derfully open  to  my  vision  and  marvelously  satisfy- 
ing to  my  soul,  as  it  had  never  been  before.  I 
seemed  to  live  in  a  constant  prayer ;  and  in  fact  I 
have  lived  this  way  nearly  all  the  time  that  has 
elapsed  since  then. 


124  FORTY   WITNESSES. 

Feeling  now  all  the  more  impressed  with  God's 
healing  promises  I  sought  to  find  Jehovah  Rophi  ; 
and,  in  order  to  obey  the  word  like  a  little  child,  I 
concluded  to  go  to  Boston  and  ask  prayer  and 
anointing  at  the  hands  of  Dr.  Cullis.  I  was  terribly 
weak,  but  I  went.  All  this  experience  has  been 
written  and  published  at  length  elsewhere,  and  I 
will  only  add  that  I  returned  in  three  days,  walking 
by  faith,  and  not  by  feeling,  resumed  my  college 
work  in  September,  and  at  once  engaged  in  all  kinds 
of  religious  work.  I  was  healed  by  the  power  of 
God  alone.     Praise  the  Lord  ! 

Within  two  months  I  united  with  the  Methodist 
Church,  owing  to  certain  providential  circumstances; 
and  here  I  began  to  encounter  the  terminology 
which  was  exceedingly  unpleasant  to  my  ear,  trairied 
among  the  Presbyterians.  But  I  promptly  settled 
all  these  difficulties  by  declaring  that  I  accepted  all 
the  terms  found  in  Scripture,  joined  in  all  scriptural 
prayer,  and  aimed  at  every  scriptural  target  with  the 
expectation  of  hitting  it  by  the  infinite  grace  of 
God. 

Perhaps  the  crucial  point  was  passed  in  this  way: 
Undervaluing  the  deep  peace  in  my  soul  and  the 
great  hunger  for  the  word  which  continually  pos- 
sessed me,  not  seeing  that  these  were  evidences  of 
the  Spirit's  presence,  I  yearned  and  cried  after  some 
great  manifestation.  But  one  night,  after  lying  in 
an  agony  of  supplication  upon  my  floor  for  hours,  I 


CAPT.    R.   KELSO    CARTER.  12$ 

rose  up,  and,  lifting  my  hand  to  heaven,  said,  "  O, 
Lord,  if  I  never /^r/  any  more  than  I  do  now  to  the 
day  of  judgment  I  will  believe  on  thy  word  that 
Jesus  saves  me  now.  If  the  children  of  Israel  could 
shout  over  Jericho  when  not  one  stone  in  its  walls 
had  fallen,  I  can  do  the  same."  And  I  began  say- 
ing aloud,  -  Jesus  saves  me  now!    Jesus  saves  me 


now ! ' 


God,  the  angels,  and  the  devils  heard  it.  But 
my  audience  all  understood  that  I  meant  -  sanctified 
wholly  ;"  so  the  Lord  got  the  honor  of  a  complete 
work  even  from  ignorant  lips,  and  gradually  the  con- 
viction grew  in  my  soul  that  it  was  really  true.  This 
inward  conviction  or  persuasion  I  soon  recognized  as 
the  longed-for  -witness  of  the  Spirit,"  and  then,  for 
the  first  time,  I  knew  those  thrills  of  heavenly  joy 
which  have  been  styled  the  "  effusions  of  the  Holy 

Ghost." 

From  this  point   in  my  life  a  most  distinct  expe- 
rience began.     All  sense   of  duty- service  vanished, 
and  a  glad  love-service  took   its  place.     All  those 
desperate  conflicts  with  the  will  of  God,  which  we 
are  pleased    to    call    our    ''  crushing    trials,"  ^  sore 
afflictions,"  resolved  themselves  into  the  dear  Lord  s 
wisely-chosen  methods  for  enlarging  the  vessel  in   ^ 
order  that  he  might  pour  into  it  more  of  his  grace 
and  love.     Growth  was  marvelous  and  permanent— 
a  wonderful  difference  from  the  years  when  so  much 
time  was  occupied   in   rebuilding.     There   was  no 


126  FORTY   WITNESSES. 

desert  life  here  ;  no  despondency;  no  cloud  of  un- 
belief; no  sense  of  condemnation.  The  most 
marked  inward  leanings  toward  sin  which  had  bit- 
terly cursed  my  Christian  life  were  so  conspicuous 
by  their  absence  that  in  wonder  and  amazement  I 
cried,  "■  Is  any  thing  too  hard  for  the  Lord  ?  "  and 
was  greatly  established  by  the  thought  that  if  God 
could  take  away  one  such  besetting  sin  could  he  not 
remove  two  ?     And  if  two,  why  not  all? 

Here  I  wish  to  be  very  clear.  Let  not  the  reader 
suppose  that  during  these  years  there  has  been  no 
occasion  for  self-examination  or  of  disappointment 
at  my  record.  All  along  the  line  I  was  frequently 
surprised  at  new  discoveries.  Things  which  had 
seemed  perfectly  right  and  proper  became  objects 
of  inward  suspicion.  Something  suggested,  ''  You 
ought  not  to  do  this  or  to  speak  so  ;  it  is  not  right." 
But  whenever  this  occurred  a  prompt  willingness  to 
turn  on  the  most  searching  light  was  always  felt ; 
and  if,  after  a  thorough  examination  in  the  light  of 
the  word,  the  thing  appeared  to  smell  of  evil,  it  was 
always  cheerfully  relinquished,  no  inward  desire  to  go 
counter  to  the  will  of  God  being  experienced.  In 
fact,  this  has  always  been  the  great  test  question : 
Is  it  the  will  of  God?  His  will,  when  known,  is 
mine  always  ;  not  from  duty,  but  from  free,  spon- 
taneous choice.     Praise  the  Lord  ! 

I  have  had  some  trouble  with  my  body  at  times, 
for  the  body  is  very  imperious.     The  necessity  of 


CAPT.   R.  KELSO    CARTER.  12/ 

"keeping  the  body  under "  has  been  always  felt. 
Let  none  misunderstand  me  here.  I  do  not  mean 
the  *'  body  of  sin,"  or  "  the  carnal  mind."  That 
was  burned  up,  and  its  desires  against  God's  will 
eradicated,  by  the  consuming  fire  of  the  Holy  Ghost 
when  God  wholly  sanctified  my  soul  as  related 
above.  Rut  this  physical  body,  with  its  various  ap- 
petites and  nerves,  must  be  kept  under  all  the  time. 
Not  one  of  these  appetites  nor  one  of  these  nerves 
is  in  any  degree  sinful  or  impure  in  itself.  It  is  only 
the  wrong  use  of  these  which  constitutes  sin  and 
brings  condemnation.  There  is  not  a  particle  of  sin 
in  my  feeling  hunger,  or  thirst,  or  the  sexual  appe- 
tite, for  God  has  made  them  all,  and  his  work  is 
good.  But  there  is  sin  in  indulging  any  of  them  in 
a  wrong  way  or  in  entertaining  or  possessing  the 
real  desire  to  so  indulge  them.  If  my  nerves  are 
overtaxed  I  must  and  will  feel  nervous;  there  is  no 
sin  in  that.  But  I  must  not  experience  irritation 
and  anger  in  the  heart  as  an  accompaniment,  for  in 
this  lies  sin.  I  may  be,  and  am,  when  such  emer- 
gencies arise,  tempted  to  think  of  such  indulgences 
or  tempers ;  but  the  temptation  is  not  sin  if  the 
heart  answers  not  again. 

This  lesson  was  rather  difficult  to  learn  ;  and  while 
studying  it  I  was  at  various  times  a  little  confused 
as  to  the  exact  power  and  shades  of  meaning  in  the 
terminology  of  Bible  holiness  ;  but  the  blessed 
Spirit  brought  me  through  in  safety  ;  and  now  I  see 


128  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

it  as,  perhaps,  the  most  important  lesson  of  my  life 
thus  far,  and  as  the  testing-ground  where  so  many 
sanctified  Christians  are  led  astray. 

My  experience  is  my  own,  and  acknowledges  no 
human  master,  and,  therefore,  I  cannot  stop  in  a 
certain  rut,  I  must  go  farther.  From  the  very  first 
I  conceived  a  deep,  and  even  desperate,  determi- 
nation to  "■  follow  on  to  know  the  Lord!'  No  pen 
can  emphasize  these  words  as  they  were  emphasized 
in  my  soul.  Year  by  year  passed  away,  and  an 
almost  infinite  yearning  for  a  deeper  manifestation 
of  my  Lord  filled  my  very  being.  Suffice  it  to  say 
that  at  Mountain  Lake  Park  Camp-meeting,  in  July, 
1885,  this  prayer  of  years  was  answered.  I  can 
hardly  tell  how,  except  that  my  Saviour  became  so 
inexpressibly  real  to  me  that  all  language  fails  to 
describe  it.  It  has  seemed  these  two  years  as 
though  my  friends,  my  wife,  even  myself,  are  less 
real  to  me  than  my  adorable  Saviour,  my  living 
Father,  my  blessed  Comforter.  After  about  eight 
months  some  small  degree  of  this  marvelous  near- 
*  ness  to  Jesus  seemed  to  me  to  pass  away,  I  think 
through  a  slowness  to  follow  the  Spirit  with  refer- 
ence to  a  certain  point.  But  in  July,  1887,  while 
again  at  Mountain  Lake  Park,  the  blessed  Holy 
Ghost  wonderfully  and  entirely  healed  me  of  a  very 
serious  attack  of  brain  prostration  resulting  from 
various  causes,  largely  unavoidable  ;  and  with  this 
restoration  all  seems  to  be  regained. 


e 
is- 


CAPT.    R.    KELSO  CARTER.  1 29 

To-day  I  am  a  sinner  saved  by  grace,  a  repentant 
rebel  fully  pardoned  by  my  God,  a  law-breaker  jus- 
tified freely  by  the  "  Judge  of  all  the  earth,"  the 
offspring  of  evil  adopted  into  the  family  of  the  Lord, 
a  trusting  believer  cleansed  from  inbred  sin  by  the 
blood  of  Jesus  Christ  and  sanctified  wholly  by  th 
Holy  Ghost,  a  child  of  the  King,  healed  of  my  d 
eases  by  the  Great  Physician.  I  am  beset,  yet  full 
of  hope  ;  tempted  and  tried  most  sorely,  yet  strong 
in  the  Lord  ;  tossed  about  by  circumstances,  yet  on 
the  Rock  of  Ages  ;  enduring  misrepresentation  and 
slander  and  suspicion,  yet  praising  God  for  the 
victory  Jesus  wins  over  all ;  daily  realizing  more 
and  more  my  own  nothingness  and  the  wonderful 
ALLNESS  of  Jesus.     Praisc  the  Lord  ! 

R.  KELSO  CARTER. 

Yardville,  N.  J.,  August  11,  1887. 
9 


I30  FORTY  WITNESSES. 


XVI. 

MARY    R.    DENMAN. 

(EPISCOPALIAN.) 

TT /HEN  my  pastor  asked  me,  at  the  age  of  fifteen, 
1  to  be  confirmed,  I  said,  ''  I  would  like  to  do 
so,  but  have  not  met  with  a  change  of  heart."  His 
answer  was :  ''  Whence  did  the  desire  to  become  a 
Christian  originate?  Certainly  it  did  not  come  from 
the  Evil  One."  Hence  he  advised  me  to  join  the 
Church.  I  have  always  been  glad  that  I  followed  his 
advice,  for  when  tempted  as  a  young  lady  to  go  into 
the  gayety  of  the  world  I  felt  the  restraint,  particu- 
larly during  the  season  of  Lent.  As  a  Church 
member,  when  the  communion  season  came  around, 
I  must  partake  of  the  Lord's  Supper,  and  in  some 
way  I  always  tried  to  prepare  my  heart  to  receive 
it.  After  I  was  married  I  tried  hard  to  induce  my 
husband  to  join  the  Church,  as  I  had  done,  but 
we  were  of  the  world  and  worldly.  There  came  a 
time  when  I  realized  that  I  did  not  love  God  with 
all  my  heart,  as  I  was  taught  every  Sunday  it  was 
my  duty  to  do.  I  was  simple-minded  enough  to  go 
on  my  knees  and  ask  God  to  teach  me  to  love  him 
with  all  my  heart.     He  took  me  at  my  word  and 


MARY    R.    DENMAN.  I3I 

taught  me  to  do  so.     Soon  after  this,  upon  my  re- 
turn to  New  Orleans,  I  thought  the  church  mem- 
bers  had  changed,  for  they  all  seemed  so  wilHng 
to  talk  on  the  subject  of  religion.     The  change  was 
with  me.     This  I  consider  was  the  date  of  my  con- 
version.    I  was  soon  tested  to  know  if  I  loved  God 
with  all  my  heart.     He  took  to  himself  a  precious 
daughter  when  she  was  only  about  four  months  old. 
This  affliction  I  bore  cheerfully,  feeling  that  God 
would   bless  it  to  my  husband,  which  he  did,  and 
when,   six  years  afterward,  he  took  him  to  himself, 
I  claimed  the  promises  given  to  the  widow.     He  has 
been  true  to  his  promise  for  over  twenty  years.     I 
still  had  a  longing  in  my  heart  for  something  more 
satisfying.     While  in  this  state  of  mind  I  learned 
that  a  number   of  Christian   people   were  coming 
to  our  city  to   hold  a  series   of  meetings.      They 
were  called  "  higher-life  Christians."     I  heard  one 
minister  in  these  meetings  tell  of  the  "  Rest  of  Faith  " 
he  had  in  his  soul.     My  spirit  responded,  *'  That  is 
what  I  want ;"  and,  knowing  that  God  was  not  a  re- 
specter of  persons,  I  believed  he  would  give  it  to 
me  if  I  would  meet  the  conditions.     I  sought  and 
found  this  grace.     I  delighted  in  this  new  joy,  and, 
desiring  to  meet  with  Christians  who  enjoyed  the 
same   blessing,   I  was    invited    to    go   to   a    camp- 
meeting.     My  answer  was  "  No ;  I  am  not  a  Meth- 
odist." But  the  friend  said,  -  This  is  not  a  Methodist 
camp-meeting  ;  it  is  a  national  one,  where  all  denom- 


132  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

inations  meet."  I  concluded  to  go  with  my  friend, 
she  making  all  arrangements  for  me.  I  praise  God 
for  Sea  Cliff  camp-meeting.  Having  the  great  joy 
of  the  Saviour  in  my  heart  I  did  not  feel  the  need 
of  having  the  roots  of  bitterness  taken  out.  But  I 
soon  saw  there  was  something  more  for  me,  and  that 
God  was  talking  to  my  heart  and  questioning  me, 
to  see  if  my  will  was  in  subjection  to  his.  One  test 
was,  "Would  I  establish  the  family  altar  on  my  re- 
turn home  ?  "  I  was  in  the  habit  of  praying  with 
my  children,  but  establishing  the  family  altar  would 
involve  the  cross  of  praying  before  visitors,  and  some 
very  worldly  ones.  I  had  said  "  yes  "  to  this,  when 
in  the  night  came  deeper  questions,  preparing  me 
for  temperance  work.  "  Would  I  speak  for  Him 
before  large  congregations  if  my  children  and  every 
friend  on  earth  turned  against  me  ?  "  This  I  could 
not  answer,  for  I  felt  it  would  cut  me  off  from  all  my 
earthly  supports.  Still  I  found  it  must  be  answered, 
or  I  would  never  know  peace  again.  I  called  Sister 
Amanda  Smith,  the  colored  evangelist,  who  was  in 
the  next  tent.  She,  being  awake,  put  a  blanket 
around  her  and  came  to  my  bed-side  and  prayed 
with  me,  making  very  clear  to  my  mind  that  God 
would  not  ask  any  thing  of  me  that  he  would  not 
give  me  strength  tp  perform.  When  my  will  was 
broken  a  wondrous  peace  came  into  my  soul.  I  have 
often  been  asked  **  Has  this  peace  remained  all  these 
fifteen  years  ?  and  how  have  you  kept  it  ? "     My 


MARY    R.    DENMAN.  1 33 

answer  is,  by  saying  "  I  will  "  to  God,  and  then  do- 
ing his  bidding.  Very  soon  I  was  called  to  work  for 
him  in  the  temperance  cause.  I  began  by  being 
willing  to  lead  in  ladies'  prayer-meetings.  After 
seven  years'  constant  worlcforthe  Master,  when  the 
women  would  not  release  me,  the  dear  Lord  did,  by 
laying  me  by  with  paralysis. 

But  O  how  wondrously  He  has  healed  me  since 
in  answer  to  prayer !  How  could  I  let  go  my  faith 
in  the  Almighty  arm  which  did  and  continues  to 
do  so  much  for  me?  I  do  not  say  that  I  have  been 
freed  from  trial  or  temptation.  These  I  never  ex- 
pect to  be  free  from  while  in  the  body.  But  I  can 
say,  with  St.  Paul,  "  that  with  the  temptation  a  way 
of  escape  "  has  always  been  made,  and  I  have  not 
lost  the  deep  peace  in  my  soul,  I  do  not  remember 
that  I  have  ever  felt  power  in  myself  to  stand  alone, 
and  therefore  have  always  looked  to  and  expected 
my  precious  Saviour  to  keep  me.  He  has  never 
forsaken  me.  There  was  a  time  for  about  two  days 
when  Satan  tried  to  make  me  think  I  had  not  re- 
ceived the  baptism  of  the  Holy  Ghost,  because  I 
had  not  had  just  such  an  experience  as  another 
dear  friend.  But  just  as  soon  as  I  got  quiet  before 
God,  the  Holy  Spirit  carried  me  back  in  mind  to 
that  night  on  Sea  Cliff  camp-ground,  and  I  have 
never  doubted  since.  I  do  not  always  experience 
the  same  joy,  but  it  is  there,  down  in  my  heart,  like 
the  water  in  the   bosom   of  the  earth  waiting  the 


134  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

Opportunity  of  the   driven  well.     If  I  were  to  be 

disobedient  to  his  loving  command,  and  leave  him, 

and   look  for  my  pleasures  in  other  fields  than  he 

lays  out  for  me,  I  should  expect  to  lose  my  peace. 

But  why  should  I  do  so,  when  he  is  my  all  and  in 

all? 

MARY  R.  DENMAN. 

Newark,  N.  J.,  October  12,  1887. 


ANNA   M.    HAMMER.  135 


XVII. 

ANNA   M.  HAMMER. 

(EPISCOPALIAN). 

T  WAS  born  in  the  town  of  Pottsville,  Pa.,  in  the 
J^  year  1840.  My  father  was  a  Quaker  and  my 
mother  an  Episcopalian,  an  earnest  Christian 
woman,  and  one  who  early  taught  my  young  lips  to 
pray  and  to  value  the  word  of  God.  At  the  age  of 
nine  years  I  became  greatly  convicted  of  sin.  I 
cried  in  agony  at  the  thought  of  death,  but  finally 
the  impression  wore  away.  I  have  no  recollection 
of  any  other  especial  experience  till  I  reached  the 
age  of  fourteen,  when  a  young  man  (soon  to  be- 
come a  relative),  an  earnest  Christian  and  member 
of  the  Episcopal  Church,  urged  me  to  give  my 
heart  to  God  and  join  the  Church.  My  dear  mother 
mingled  her  prayers  with  his,  and  at  that  point  I 
date  my  conversion.  We  removed  immediately  to 
the  town  of  Wilkesbarre,  Pa.,  and  I  there  came 
under  the  pastorate  of  the  Rev.  George  D.  Miles, 
of  blessed  memory,  rector  of  the  Episcopal  church, 
and  a  truly  evangelical  man.  The  means  of  grace 
under  which  I  was  brought  at  that  time  did  much 
to  form  my  Christian   character  and   implanted  in 


136  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

my  heart  a  love  for  the  pure  and  true  and  holy, 
which  not  even  the  claims  of  a  fashionable,  gay  life, 
were  able  to  entirely  dissipate ;  for  I  did  enter  into 
a  life  of  amusement,  which  was  a  great  grief  to  my 
dear  pastor  and  spiritual  friend.  This  gay  life  was 
not  one  of  unmixed  pleasure,  for  I  keenly  felt  all 
the  way  through  that  my  spiritual  life  was  suffering 
because  of  it.  After  my  marriage  I  gave  up  dancing, 
to  please  my  husband,  who  strongly  disapproved 
of  that  amusement.  In  1864  my  husband  moved 
to  Newark,  N.  J.,  and  after  a  few  years  we  came 
under  the  ministry  of  Rev.  Dr.  William  R.  Nichol- 
son (now  Bishop  Nicholson),  and  under  his  earnest, 
spiritual  teachings  I  found  my  soul  greatly  quick- 
ened. The  entire  loss  of  fortune  and  the  death  of 
my  first-born  son,  and  also  of  an  elder  brother,  all 
within  a  few  short  years,  served  to  draw  me  nearer 
to  the  Lord,  and  my  Christian  life  grew  sweeter 
and  deeper.  There  came  a  time,  in  1874,  when, 
having  become  a  member  of  the  Reformed  Episco- 
pal Church,  I  attended  a  female  prayer-meeting  held 
every  week  in  the  vestry-room.  Upon  one  occasion, 
a  very  rainy  day,  I  found  but  one  dear  woman  at 
the  meeting,  and  she  told  me  how  mightily  the 
Lord  had  blessed  her  soul,  so  that  she  cried  out  to 
him  to  stay  his  hand.  I  was  completely  captivated 
by  this  account.  I  never  before  had  heard  such  an 
experience.  The  next  day  I  was  lying  upon  my 
bed  resting  and  thinking  over  the  wonderful  story 


ANNA    M.    HAMMER.  1 37 

of  the  day  before,  when  the  thought  came,  ''God  is 
no  respecter  of  persons ;  what  he  has  done  for  her 
he  can  and  will  do  for  me."  I  knelt  and  prayed, 
and  asked  for  just  what  I  wanted,  and  O,  how  God 
did  pour  his  Holy  Spirit  into  my  soul  and  give  such 
a  love  for  souls  and  hunger  for  work !  I  have 
always  spoken  of  that  baptism  as  "  my  anointing 
for  service."  I  then  consecrated  myself  fully  to 
the  Lord,  and  especially  to  the  temperance  work. 
In  this  state  I  lived  an  outwardly  consecrated,  puri- 
fied life,  having  the  grace  given  me  to  prevent  the 
outward  manifestation  of  anger  and  kindred  sins, 
so  that  even  some  of  my  most  intimate  friends, 
who  enjoyed  the  baptism  of  the  Holy  Spirit  as  a 
distinct  second  experience,  thought  I  enjoyed  the 
same  blessing.  I  sometimes  agreed  with  them,  but 
oftener  distrusted  having  had  any  such  experi- 
ence. Finally  a  great  hunger  of  soul  came  upon 
me.  I  knew  there  were  in  the  corners  of  my  heart 
things  known  only  to  myself  and  God,  and  I  real- 
ized that  nothing  short  of  the  "anointing  which 
abideth  "  would  satisfy  my  soul  and  fit  me  fully  as 
a  worker  for  God.  In  July,  1880,  the  first  assembly 
of  the  Woman's  Holiness  Camp-meeting  was  held 
at  Camp  Tabor,  New  Jersey.  I  went  there  with  the 
fixed  intention  to  get  all  the  Lord  had  in  reserve 
for  me.  I  was  under  deep  conviction  of  soul,  and 
for  three  days  I  was  in  an  agony  of  tears,  as  one 
friend  said,  *'  dying  hard."     I   held   out  on  points 


138  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

which  now  seem  very  ridiculous,  but  then  they  as- 
sumed proportions  which  appeared  serious  enough. 
But  all  this  time  the  hunger  and  the  aching  in- 
creased till  I  could  no  longer  resist  the  pleadings  of 
the  Spirit,  and  then  came  my  second  consecration. 
I  said,  "  Lord,  all  I  have  or  all  I  ever  will  have;  all 
I  am  or  all  I  ever  may  be ;  all  I  know  or  all  I  ever 
may  know,  I  put  now  upon  the  altar."  I  knew  the 
**  altar  sanctified  the  gift,"  and  I  bound  my  offering 
to  the  "  horns  of  the  altar  "  and  waited  for  the  fire. 
For  hours,  forgetting  all  my  prejudices,  I  was  pros- 
trate in  the  straw.  The  meeting  broke  up,  but 
there  I  remained,  a  few  friends  around  awaiting 
the  result.  I  am  glad  no  one  talked  to  me  ;  my 
soul  was  in  quiet  communion  with' God.  Finally  a 
dear  minister  of  God  came  upon  the  ground,  and, 
seeing  the  unusual  gathering,  asked  what  it  meant. 
Some  one  replied,  "An  honest  soul  seeking  the 
blessing,"  and  another  added,  ''  She  is  an  Episco- 
palian." With  great  heartiness  he  responded, 
"  Well,  he  is  the  God  and  Father  of  us  all."  Tlien 
the  fatherhood  of  God  peculiarly  struck  me,  and 
I  raised  my  head  to  confirm  the  thought,  when 
with  the  action  the  anointing  came.  I  was  shaken 
as  with  a  violent  ague ;  over  and  over  and  over 
again  the  shock  came,  finally  leaving  me  so  pros- 
trated that  I  was  helped  over  to  the  cottage,  where 
I  lay  on  the  lounge  for  hours  bathed  in  glory. 
From  that  hour  my  Christian  life  has  been  victory. 


ANNA    M.    HAMMER.  1 39 

I  have  grown  year  by  year  in  the  depth  of  experi- 
ence which  becomes  richer  and  deeper  and  sweeter 
as  the  years  roll  on.  I  have  made  mistakes,  but 
they  are  under  the  blood  ;  I  have  had  temptations, 
but  early  I  learned  that  they  were  not  sin  unless 
yielded  to.  But  O,  the  delights  of  a  life  wholly 
given  up  to  God  ! 

I  have  no  doubt  as  to  my  conversion,  that  I  was 
"born  again  ;"  that,  being  "  dead  in  trespasses  and 
sins,"  I  was  made  *'  alive  in  God."  At  the  time  of 
my  anointing  by  the  Holy  Spirit  I  was  living  a  con- 
secrated life  of  faith  and  active  service.  My  sanc- 
tification  was  a  second  actual  experience,  and  from 
that  time  my  life  has  been  changed,  is  deeper, 
stronger,  steadier,  sweeter,  richer.  The  life  I  have 
lived  for  the  last  seven  years  has  been  wonderfully 
free  from  condemnation.  I  have  more  than  onc'e 
done  ignorantly  that  for  which  I  sorrowed  after- 
ward, but  handed  it  immediately  over  to  the  Lord 
and  felt  the  blood  applied.     Praise  the  Lord  ! 

ANNA  M.  HAMMER. 

Newark,  N.  J.,  Ju/y  18,  1887. 


I40  FORTY  WITNESSES. 


XVIII. 

REV.  B.  K.  PEIRCE,  D.D. 

(METHODIST. 

T  WAS  born  February  3,  1819,  in  Royalton, 
J^     Windsor  County,  Vermont. 

I  was,  I  think,  soundly  converted  on  the  Island 
of  Nantucket,  when  a  boy  of  about  twelve  years  of 
age.  But,  not  joining  the  Church,  I  lost  my  spirit- 
ual life  and  fell  away  from  the  Saviour,  although  I 
did  not  give  up  prayer.  I  was  renewed  in  Lynn, 
Mass.,  in  a  revival  in  my  father's  church  when  about 
seventeen,  in  1836.  My  evidence  of  the  new  birth 
came  very  gradually,  but  very  clearly,  while  I  was 
attempting  to  point  the  way  to  a  seeking  friend. 

Soon  after  this  I  went  to  Wesleyan  University, 
Middletown,  Conn.  My  collegiate  course  was  a 
severe  trial  to  my  faith,  but  in  the  last  year  at 
college  (184 1 )  I  began  to  preach,  joining  the  New 
England  Conference  in  1842,  and  was  blessed  with 
seasons  of  revival.  But,  although  I  had  no  doubt 
of  my  previous  sonship  in  the  family  of  God,  my 
experience  did  not  take  on  a  clear,  positive,  well- 
rounded  form  until  after  that  MEMORABLE  NiGHT 
of  prayer  in  the  second  year  of  my  ministry,  1843, 


REV.    L.    K.    PEIRCE,   D.D.  I41 

at  Newburyport,  Mass.  The  social  meetings  in  my 
church  were  interesting;  the  congregations  increased. 
But  there  began  to  be  felt  a  need  of  deep  relig- 
ious interest,  and  the  expediency  of  calling  in  an 
evangelist  was  discussed.  On  this  Sunday  evening 
after  service  I  returned  to  my  study.  I  was  alone. 
The  family  was  absent.  I  had  become  greatly  de- 
pressed at  not  seeing  the  spiritual  outcome  to  my 
labors  which  I  desired.  I  said,  "  Why  need  the 
church  send  for  another  minister?  Is  the  missinji 
link  in  myself?"  These  questions  brought  me  to 
my  knees.  I  saw  my  spiritual  life  to  be  defective. 
I  had  not  a  sufficiently  clear  personal  apprehension 
of  the  whole  plan  of  salvation  to  preach  effectually 
to  others.  Inward  anxiety  became  positive  distress. 
Some  more  definite  and  pronounced  era  of  the 
divine  life  must  be  reached.  Prayer  was  blind  at 
first,  and  I  was  in  great  trouble.  I  was  shut  in  on 
all  sides  and  helpless.  I  prayed  for  deliverance 
even  if  it  cost  my  life,  but  the  prison  walls  only 
drew  closer  and  more  fearfully  around  me.  In  the 
midst  of  this  turbulence  of  emotion  and  purposeless 
prayer,  it  occurred  to  me,  that,  like  the  Jews,  I  was 
seeking  a  sign,  something  miraculous,  when  God  had 
made  a  distinct  promise.  These  words  then  came 
to  me:  "■  If  ye,  then,  being  evil,  know  how  to  give 
good  things  to  your  children,  /lozu  much  more  shall 
your  Father  in  heaven  give  the  Holy  Spirit  to 
them  that  ask   him."     Here  was  the  promise  of  a 


142  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

divine  Guide.  Still  upon  my  knees,  in  this  light  I 
wrote  out  an  entire  surrender  of  myself,  body,  soul 
and  substance,  and  all  pertaining  to  me,  and  sought 
to  weigh  every  word  before  I  solemnly  signed  my 
name  to  it.  Now  I  said:  "If  we  confess  our  sins, 
he  is  faithful  and  just  to  forgive  us  our  sins,  and  to 
cleanse  us  from  all  unrighteousness."  I  grasped  the 
simple,  all-embracing  truth  as  never  before.  In 
tearful  trust  I  cried, 

"  Lord,  I  am  lost,  but  Jesus  died." 

Unconscious  of  the  passage  of  time,  and  still  on 
my  knees,  in  sweet  and  blissful  iteration  I  said  over 
and  over  again :  ''  He  forgives  ;  Jie  cleanses  from  all 
unrighteousness!''  I  hardly  knew  when  I  left  the 
kneeling  posture,  but  I  found  myself  walking  the 
room  in  the  early  morning  hours,  saying,  "  He 
cleanses  from  all  unrighteousness!"  while  an  inde- 
scribable calmness  and  peace  pervaded  my  whole 
being. 

This  baptism  of  the  Spirit  was  a  great  inspiration 
in  my  pulpit  and  pastoral  work.  It  illuminated  the 
Holy  Scriptures  and  enriched  the  daily  life.  It 
made  the  whole  plan  of  salvation  very  clear  and 
positive.  I  walked  in  the  light  and  comfort  of  this 
great  blessing  for  a  long  period,  and  have  never  lost 
a  vivid  conception  of  the  process  by  which  it  was 
secured. 

While  chaplain  in  the  House  of  Refuge,  Randall's 
Island,  N.  Y.,  somewhere  about   the  year   1868,  I 


REV.    B.    K.    PEIRCE,    U.D.  I43 

came  again  to  a  remarkable  hungering  and  thirsting 
for  the  cleansing  of  my  soul  and  its  full  occupation 
by  the  Holy  Spirit.  To  this  end  I  devoted  a  night 
of  prayer  and  came  again  into  great  peace  and  an 
absorption  of  divine  things.  I  could  not  read  any 
thing  but  the  Bible  and  devout  books,  and  literally 
continued  in  prayer  without  ceasing.  In  this  state 
I  walked  for  many  months.  Its  fervor  wore  off 
somewhat,  the  absolute  absorption  in  spiritual 
things  abated,  and  I  again  took  a  general  inter- 
est in  affairs.  My  reading  became  more  miscella- 
neous. I  did  not  keep  up  that  incessant  commun- 
ion and  loving  fellowship  with  the  Saviour,  but  I 
did  not  lose  the  hold  I  had  gained  upon  the  double 
office  of  Christ  as  pardoning  sin  and  cleansing 
from  all  unrighteousness.  I  was  almost  unfitted  for 
every  thing  besides  at  first,  but  it  was  a  blessed  and 
a  heavenly  state.  I  try  now  to  live  in  the  sight  of 
it.  Nothing  is  so  sweet  or  dear  to  me  as  the  con- 
templation of  my  Saviour  in  his  person  and  offices, 
and  I  long  for  nothing  more  than  to  be  like  him  in 

spirit  and  life. 

B.  K.  PEIRCE. 
Boston,  Mass.,  March  3,  1887. 


144  FORTY  WITNESSES. 


XIX. 

HANNAH  WHITALL   SMITH. 

(FRIEND.) 

iWAS  born  in  Philadelphia,  Pa.,  second  month, 
seventh  day,  1832.  I  was  converted  in  Phila- 
delphia, in  1856,  in  my  twenty-sixth  year.  My  con- 
version was  very  clear  and  unmistakable.  After 
long  years  of  legal  striving,  in  which  I  resorted  in 
vain  to  every  expedient  my  soul  could  devise  for 
gaining  the  favor  of  God  and  the  forgiveness  of  all 
my  sins,  I  was  taught  to  see  my  own  utter  helpless- 
ness in  the  matter,  and  to  trust  entirely  and  only  to 
Christ  to  save  me.  I  knew  that  I  was  born  again ; 
and  never  from  that  time  have  I  doubted  this. 
Never  have  I  had  a  moment's  fear  about  my  ac- 
ceptance with  God,  or  my  present  possession  of 
eternal  life. 

As  time  passed  on  the  Lord  graciously  led  me 
into  the  knowledge  of  much  truth.  My  guarded 
education  in  the  Society  of  Friends,  of  which  I  was 
at  that  time  a  member,  had  already  separated  me 
very  much  from  the  vain  fashions  and  amusements 
of  the  world,  and  my  chief  interests  were  all  cen- 
tered around  the  religion  of  Jesus   Christ,   as  the 


HANNAH    WHITALL   SMITH.  I45 

only  object  really  worthy  of  serious  thought  or  at- 
tention. 

But  my  heart  was  ill  at  ease.  That  I  grew  in 
knowledge  I  could  not  deny;  but  neither  could  I 
deny  that  I  did  not  grow  in  grace ;  and,  at  the  end 
of  eight  years  of  my  Christian  life,  I  was  forced  to 
make  the  sorrowful  admission  that  I  had  not  even 
as  much  power  over  sin  as  when  I  was  first  con- 
verted. In  the  presence  of  temptation,  I  found 
myself  weakness  itself.  It  was  not  my  outward 
walk  that  caused  me  sorrow,  though  I  can  see  now 
that  that  was  far  from  what  it  ought  to  have  been  ; 
but  it  was  the  sins  of  my  heart  that  troubled  me — 
coldness,  deadness,  want  of  Christian  love,  intellect- 
ual apprehension  of  truth  without  any  corresponding 
moral  effects,  roots  of  bitterness,  want  of  a  meek 
and  quiet  spirit — all  those  inward  sins  over  which 
the  children   of  God   are  so  often  forced  to  mourn. 

I  could  not  but  see,  that,  although  I  was  not 
under  law,  but  under  grace,  still  sin  Jiad  more  or 
less  dominion  over  me,  and  I  felt  that  I  did  not 
come  up  to  the  Bible  standard.  The  Christian  life 
contemplated  there  was  a  life  of  victory  and  tri- 
umph;  my  life  was  one  of  failure  and  defeat.  The 
commands  there  given  to  be  holy,  to  be  conformed 
to  the  image  of  Christ,  to  be  blameless  and  harm- 
less, the  sons  of  God  without  rebuke,  seemed  almost 
a  mockery  to  me,  so  utterly  impossible  did  I  find  it 

to  attain  to    any    such  standard  ;  for  I    made  very 
10 


146  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

earnest  efforts  after  it.  At  times  I  went  through 
agonies  of  conflict  in  my  efforts  to  bring  about  a 
different  state  of  things.  I  resolved,  I  prayed,  I 
wrestled,  I  strove  ;  I  lashed  myself  up  into  the  be- 
lief that  all  I  held  most  dear  in  life  could  continue 
to  be  mine  only  as  I  attained  to  more  faithfulness 
and  devotedness  of  w^alk.  When  sickness  came  upon 
any  whom  I  loved,  many  were  the  vows  recorded 
in  the  depths  of  my  soul  that,  if  God  would  but 
spare  their- lives,  I  w^ould  henceforth  serve  him  with 
all  my  heart.  But  all  was  in  vain,  and,  it  seemed, 
even  worse  than  vain.  ''  When  I  would  do  good,  evil 
was  present  w^ith  me ; "  and  I  could  see  no  hope  of 
deliverance  except  in  death,  which,  by  destroying 
the  "body  of  sin"  to  which  I  was  chained,  would 
thus  break  the  yoke  of  my  bondage. 

At  times  some  new  discovery  of  the  truth  of  God 
in  the  Bible  would  seem  for  awhile  to  carry  me 
above  temptation,  and  to  make  me  more  than  con- 
queror. And  my  heart  w^ould  rejoice  at  the  thought 
that  now  at  last  I  had  found  the  secret  of  living, 
and  that  henceforth  my  continued  defeats  would  be 
turned  into  continued  victories.  But  after  a  w4iile, 
as  the  aspect  of  truth,  in  which  I  had  been  rejoic- 
ing, became  familiar  to  me,  I  found  to  my  bitter 
sorrow  that  it  seemed  to  lose  its  power,  and  I 
was  left  as  helpless  as  ever,  only  under  deeper 
condemnation,  because  of  the  increased  responsi- 
bilities of  increased  knowledge. 


HANNAH    WHITAT.L   SMITH.  I47 

There  was  also  another  thing  that  troubled  me. 
I  had  been  taught,  and  I  found  in  the  Bible,  that 
it  was  my  privilege  to  know  the  indwelling  of  the 
Holy  Spirit  as  a  leader  and  guide  to  my  soul, 
and  I  believed  that  he  was  indeed  indwelling  in 
me,  but  I  felt  that  experimentally  I  knew  very 
little  about  his  teaching,  and  had  no  actual  con- 
sciousness of  his  presence.  That  it  would  be  an 
inestimable  blessing  thus  to  know  him,  I  realized 
more  and  more,  as  I  discovered  the  utter  power- 
lessness  of  my  own  wisdom  and  judgment  to  guide 
me  aright,  and  felt  increasingly  that,  only  as  the 
Spirit  accompanied  and  energized  my  service,  was 
it  ever  of  any  avail.  But  here,  too,  all  my  efforts 
seemed  worse  than  useless,  and  I  found  myself 
only  involved  in  continually  increasing  perplexity 
and  darkness. 

At  times  the  belief  forced  itself  upon  me  that 
all  Christians  were  not  like  me;  that  the  lives  of 
some  were  full  of  a  degree  of  devotedness  and 
depth  of  communion  to  which  I  was  a  stranger; 
and  I  wondered  what  their  secret  could  be.  But, 
supposing  it  could  consist  in  nothing  but  their 
greater  watchfulness  and  earnestness,  I  knew  of  no 
resource  but  to  seek  to  redouble  all  my  efforts,  and 
to  go  through  the  same  weary  round  of  conflict  and 
struggle  again,  only,  of  course,  to  meet  with  the 
same  bitter  defeat. 

Such  was  my  life  ;  and,  in  spite  of  much  outward 


148  FORTY   WITNESSES. 

earnestness  and  devotedness,  I  felt  it  to  be  a  failure. 
Often  I  said  to  myself  that  if  this  was  all  the  Gospel 
of  Christ  had  for  me,  it  was  a  bitterly  disappointing 
thing.  For  though  I  never  doubted  the  fact  of  my 
being  a  child  of  God,  justified  and  forgiven,  a  pos- 
sessor of  eternal  life,  and  an  heir  of  a  heavenly  in- 
heritance, still,  when  my  heart  condemned  me — and 
this  was  almost  continually — I  could  not  have  con- 
fidence toward  God,  and  I  was  not  happy.  Heaven 
itself  seemed  to  lose  its  charm  to  the  heart  that  was 
afar  off  from  God. 

I  began  to  long  after  holiness.  I  began  to  groan 
under  the  bondage  to  sin  in  which  I  was  still  held. 
My  whole  heart  panted  after  entire  conformity  to 
the  will  of  God,  and  unhindered  communion  with 
him.  But  so  thoroughly  convinced  was  I  that  no 
efforts,  or  resolutions,  or  prayers  of  my  own  would 
be  of  any  avail,  and  so  ignorant  was  I  of  any  other 
way,  that  I  was  almost  ready  to  give  up  in  despair. 

In  this  time  of  sore  need  (1863)  God  threw  into 
my  company  some  whose  experience  seemed  to  be 
very  different  from  mine.  They  declared  that  they 
had  discovered  a  '*  way  of  holiness,"  wherein  the 
redeemed  soul  might  live  and  walk  in  abiding 
peace,  and  might  be  made  "more  than  conqueror" 
through  the  Lord  Jesus  Christ. 

I  asked  them  their  secret,  and  they  replied,  "  It 
is  simply  in  ceasing  from  all  efforts  of  our  own  and 
in  trusting  the  Lord  to  make  us  holy." 


HANNAH   WIIITAT.L   SMITH.  149 

Never  shall  I  forget  the  astonishir.ent  this  answer 
gave  me.  *'  What !  "  I  said,  "  do  you  really  mean  that 
you  have  ceased  from  your  own  efforts  altogether, 
in  your  daily  living,  and  that  you  do  nothing  but 
trust  the  Lord?  And  does  he  actually  and  truly 
make  you  conquerors  ?  " 

''  Yes,"  was  the  reply,  **  the  Lord  does  it  all. 
We  abandon  ourselves  to  him.  We  do  not  even 
try  to  live  our  lives  ourselves;  but  we  abide  in 
him,  and  he  lives  in  us.  He  works  in  us  to  will 
and  to  do  of  his  good  pleasure,  and  we  hold  our 
peace." 

Like  a  revelation  the  glorious  possibilities  of  a 
life  such  as  this  flashed  upon  me ;  but  the  idea  was 
too  new  and  wonderful  for  me  to  grasp.  I  had 
never  thought  of  Christ  as  being  such  a  Saviour  as 
I  now  heard  him  described  to  be.  I  had  known, 
indeed,  that  he  gave  me  life  in  the  first  place  as  a 
free  gift,  without  I  myself  being  able  to  do  one 
single  thing  toward  obtaining  it,  except  to  believe 
and  to  receive.  But  that  he  should  now  live  my 
life  for  me  in  the  same  way,  without  my  being  able 
to  do  any  thing  except  believe  and  receive,  sur- 
passed my  utmost  conceptions.  I  had  learned  how 
to  trust  him  for  the  forgiveness  of  my  sins ;  but  I 
had  always  trusted  myself  to  conquer  them.  I  had 
seen  the  sad  error  of  legality  as  regarded  my  re- 
demption ;  but  I  was  altogether  legal  in  my 
thoughts  as  regarded  my  daily  holy  living.     I  had 


I50  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

never  dreamed  of  trusting  the  Lord  for  that,  and  I 
did  not  know  how  to  do  it. 

So  I  went  to  work  harder  than  ever.  Over  and 
over  again  I  tried  to  dedicate  myself  to  God.  I 
sought  to  bind  my  will  with  chains  of  adamant,  and 
to  present  it  a  holy  offering  before  the  Lord.  I  lay 
awake  whole  nights  to  wrestle  in  prayer  that  God 
would  grant  me  the  blessing  he  had  granted  these 
other  Christians.  I  did  every  thing,  in  short,  but 
the  one  thing  needful.  I  could  not  believe ;  I  did 
not  trust ;  and  all  else  was  worse  than  useless.  But 
perhaps  not  altogether  useless ;  for  it  taught  me 
very  effectually  one  necessary  lesson,  and  that  was 
my  own  utter  and  absolute  helplessness. 

At  last,  however,  I  saw  clearly  that  I  was  indeed 
truly  nothing;  that  I  needed  the  Lord  just  as  ab- 
solutely for  my  daily  living  as  I  had  needed  him  in 
the  first  place  to  give  me  life.  I  discovered  that  I 
was  just  as  unable  to  govern  my  temper  or  my 
tongue  for  five  minutes,  as  I  had  been  long  ago  to 
convert  my  soul.  I  found  out,  in  short,  the  simple 
truth,  which  I  ought  to  have  learned  long  before, 
that  without  Christ  I  could  do  nothing;  absolutely 
nothing.  I  saw  that  all  my  efforts,  instead  of  help- 
ing, had  only  hindered  the  work. 

Then  I  began  anew  to  search  the  Scriptures.  I 
found  that  the  salvation  he  had  died  to  procure  was 
declared  to  be  a  perfect  salvation,  and  that  he  was 
able  to  save  to  the  very  uttermost.    I  found  that  he 


HANNAH    WHITALL   SMITH.  151 

offered  himself  to  me  as  my  life,  and  that  he  wanted 
to  come  into  my  heart  and  take  full  possession  there 
^nd  subdue  all  things  to  himself.  I  felt  that  this 
was  indeed  a  gospel  to  meet  my  utmost  needs,  that 
such  a  salvation  as  this  would  satisfy  the  widest 
limit  of  my  longings,  and  unspeakably  I  desired  to 
appropriate  it  as  mine. 

But  here  I  was  met  by  another  enemy,  whom  I 
had  thought  forever  slain.  It  seemed  as  if  I  could 
not  trust  the  Lord  ;  as  if  I  was  actually  afraid  to  do 
so.  Legality  had  been  met  and  conquered,  but  un- 
belief still  remained,  and  threatened  to  shut  me  out 
altogether  from  the  promised  land  of  rest.  Although 
God  had  declared  the  Lord  Jesus  to  be  a  perfect 
Saviour,  sufficient  for  my  daily  and  hourly  needs, 
I  could  not  believe  he  would  really  prove  to  be  so. 
It  seemed  too  great  a  trust  to  repose  in  any  one, 
even  in  the  divine  Saviour.  But  in  his  infinite  love 
he  broke  down  this  last  remaining  barrier  also. 

He  sent  to  our  house  (in  1864)  a  young  man 
whose  soul  was  in  great  darkness  because  of  doubts 
concerning  his  salvation.  It  was  my  privilege  to 
point  him  to  Jesus  Christ  as  a  Saviour  just  suited 
to  meet  his  needs,  and  to  tell  him  of  the  complete- 
ness and  present  reality  of  the  salvation  purchased 
by  him.  And  as  I  talked  to  him  and  set  forth  the 
boundless  love  of  Christ,  and  his  divine  power  to 
save  to  the  uttermost  all  who  come  unto  God  by 
him,  my  heart  was  rebuked  for  my  own  unbelief. 


152  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

Could  it  be  that  the  Saviour,  who  was  willing  to 
forgive  the  sins  of  the  rebel,  would  be  unwilling  to 
deliver  the  longing  soul  of  one,  who  loved  him,  and 
panted  to  follow  him,  from  the  present  power  and 
dominion  of  sin  ?  Was  I  to  urge  another  to  believe 
that  his  prayers  for  forgiveness  were  answered,  when 
I  did  not  believe  that  my  prayers  for  conformity  to 
the  image  of  Christ  were,  or  ever  w^ould  be?  My 
heart  shrank  back  at  the  thought  of  such  inconsist- 
ency, and  the  last  barrier  of  unbelief  was  broken 
down.  The  Lord  revealed  himself  to  me  as  so 
worthy  of  my  utmost  confidence,  that  I  could  not 
help  trusting  him.  He  showed  himself  to  me  as  a 
perfect,  and  complete,  and  present  Saviour,  and  I 
abandoned  my  whole  self  to  his  care  ;  telling  him 
that  I  was  utterly  helpless,  that  I  could  not  feel, 
nor  think,  nor  act,  for  one  moment  as  I  ought  to 
.do,  and  that  he  must  do  it  all  for  me — all.  I  con- 
fessed my  own  absolute  inability  to  dedicate  myself 
to  his  service,  my  powerlessness  to  submit  my  will 
to  his ;  and  I  cast  myself,  as  it  were,  headlong  into 
the  ocean  of  his  love,  to  have  all  these  things  ac- 
complished in  me  by  his  almighty  working.  I 
trusted  him  utterly  and  entirely.  I  took  him  for 
my  Saviour  from  the  daily  power  of  sin  with  as 
naked  a  faith  as  I  once  took  him  for  my  Saviour 
from  its  guilt.  I  believed  the  truth  that  he  w^as  my 
practical  sanctification,  as  well  as  my  justification, 
and  that  he  not  only  could  save  me,  and  would  save 


HANNAH    WHITALL   SMITH.  1 53 

me,  but  that  he  did.  The  Lord  Jesus  Christ  be- 
came my  present  Saviour,  and  my  soul  found  rest 
at  last,  such  a  rest  that  no  words  can  describe  it — 
rest  from  all  its  legal  strivings,  rest  from  all  its 
weary  conflicts,  rest  from  all  its  bitter  failures.  The 
secret  of  holiness  was  revealed  to  me,  and  that  secret 
was  Christ.  Christ  made  unto  me  wisdom,  and 
righteousness,  and  sanctification,  and  redemption. 

At  first  my  faith  was  but  a  weak  and  wavering 
one.  Almost  tremblingly  I  hung  on  to  Christ  mo- 
ment by  moment,  saying  continually  in  my  heart, 
"  Lord,  I  trust  thee,  I  trust  thee.  Look,  Lord,  I 
am  trusting  thee."  But  I  found  to  my  astonishment 
that  it  was  a  practical  reality  that  he  did  deliver  me. 
When  temptation  came,  I  did  not  try  to  conquer  it 
myself,  but  at  once  handed  it  over  to  him,  saying, 
"Lord  Jesus,  save  me  from  this  sin.  I  cannot  save 
myself,  but  thou  canst  and  wilt,  and  I  trust  thee." 
Then  I  left  it  with  him,  and  he  fought  for  me,  while 
I  stood  by  and  held  my  peace.  And  he  always 
came  off  conqueror. 

Thus  daily  my  faith  grew,  and  I  was  able  to 
apprehend  more  and  more  of  that  for  which  I  was 
apprehended  of  Christ  Jesus.  I  longed  to  grasp 
the  utmost  limits  of  the  deliverance  from  sin,  pur- 
chased for  me  by  the  death  of  Christ.  Just  what 
this  limit  was  I  did  not  understand,  either  in  its 
nature  or  extent,  but  I  could  leave  it  all  to  him. 
I  did  not  indeed  know  what  was  the  meaning  of 


154  FORTY   WITNESSES. 

that  scripture  wherein  we  are  told  that  the  body  of 
sin  was  destroyed  by  the  crucifixion  of  Christ,  and 
where  we  are  commanded  therefore  to  reckon  our- 
selves dead  to  sin.  (Rom.  6.)  But  I  did  know 
that  it  meant  something  which  would  enable  us 
henceforth  not  to  serve  sin,  but  to  bring  forth  fruit 
unto  holiness :  and  also  that  it  must  mean  some- 
thing which  would  please  and  satisfy  God.  And, 
since  this  was  God's  purpose  in  the  death  of  Christ, 
I  saw  that  it  must  be  my  privilege  to  enter  into  it, 
although  in  myself  so  vile  and  unworthy.  And 
I  saw,  also,  since  Christ  had  finished  the  work  God 
gave  him  to  do,  that  my  part  in  it  could  only  be 
to  accept  the  gift  from  his  hands  ;  and  that  that 
gift,  therefore,  was  mine  the  moment  I  trusted 
God  for  it.  I  did  therefore  trust  him  definitely  for 
this  very  thing ;  and  I,  even  I,  was  enabled  to 
"  reckon  myself  dead  indeed  unto  sin,  but  alive 
unto  God  in  Jesus  Christ  my  Lord." 

Thus  that  flesh,  which  I  had  discovered  to  be  so 
utterly  corrupt  and  incapable  of  improvement,  I  now 
found  could  be  reckoned  to  be  dead  and  conse- 
quently abandoned.  Necessarily  I  had  at  first  only 
a  very  imperfect  comprehension  of  what  this  meant, 
but  practically  I  found,  from  the  very  first,  that 
just  in  proportion  as  by  faith  I  did  abandon  the 
flesh  or  carnal  nature  in  me,  and  reckon  it  to  be 
dead,  so  also  did  the  flesh  lose  its  power  over  me  to 
conquer  or  enslave. 


HANNAH   WHITALL  SMITH.  155 

And  "  according  to  my  faith  "  I  have  found  it 
done  unto  me,  ever  since.  Whenever  I,  by  faith, 
reckon  m^yself  to  be  dead,  I  find  I  am  practically 
dead.  In  putting  off  the  old  man  by  faith,  and 
putting  on  the  new  man,  I  find  that  the  one  is 
actually  put  off  and  the  other  actually  put  on.  My 
soul  has  entered  into  that  interior  rest  or  ''  keeping 
of  Sabbaths"  which  the  apostle  Paul,  in  Heb.  4.  9, 
declares  "  remaineth  for  the  people  of  God  ;  "  and  I 
am  dwelling  in  the  "  peaceable  habitations  "  and 
*' quiet  resting  places,"  promised  in  Isaiah  32.  18. 
Not  that  there  are  no  conflicts.  Ah,  no !  But  the 
battle  is  no  longer  mine,  but  Christ's. 

And  now,  if  I  am  asked  what  is  my  life ;  with  a 
deep  and  abiding  sense  of  my  own  nothingness  I 
can  only  answer  that,  in  so  far  as  I  am  faithful, 
Christ  is  now  my  life.  Once  I  had  truth  about  him, 
but  now  I  have  himself!  Once  I  tried  to  live  in 
my  new  nature,  independent  of  him  ;  now  I  am 
joined  to  him  in  a  oneness  that  is  indescribable, 
knowing  that  I  have  in  truth  no  other  life  but  his, 
and  seeking  more  and  more  to  live  only  there. 
Not  that  I  never  leave  this  blessed  abiding-place, 
and  walk  in  the  flesh  again,  to  my  unspeakable  re- 
regret.  But  Christ  is  always  the  same,  and  the  way 
of  access  by  faith  is  always  open ;  and,  thanks  be 
unto  God,  he  is  faithful  to  keep  that  which  I  have 
committed  to  him,  and  more  and  more  does  he  con- 
firm my  soul  steadfast  and  immovable  in  him. 


156  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

All  the  former  period  of  my  Christian  course 
seems  comparatively  wasted.  I  was  a  child  of  God, 
it  is  true ;  but  my  growth  was  stinted,  and  my 
stature  feeble.  But  when  this  secret  of  faith  was 
revealed  to  me,  I  began  to  grow  ;  and  the  dedica- 
tion, which  was  before  impossible  to  me,  became 
the  very  joy  of  my  heart. 

Since  the  time  of  my  entrance  into  this  life  I 
have  gone  through  many  ''  experiences  "  and  have 
outgrown  many  "  dogmas ;  "  and  in  some  respects 
my  ''  views  "  have  greatly  changed.  But,  through 
all,  my  attitude  of  soul  has  remained  unchanged.  I 
have  sought  to  keep  a  continual  spirit  of  surrender 
and  trust,  and  have  tried  to  be  obedient  to  the  best 
light  I  knew.  When  I  have  failed,  it  has  been  the 
result  of  either  disobedience  or  lack  of  faith,  and  it 
has  needed  only  a  return  to  the  place  of  perfect 
surrender  and  entire  trust,  to  restore  my  soul  again 
to  its  place  of  rest.  At  every  moment,  when  sur- 
render and  trust  have  been  active,  the  Lord  has 
never  failed  to  respond  with  his  wondrous  grace. 
Moreover,  he  has  never  failed  to  make  even  my 
mistakes  work  together  for  my  eternal  good.  In 
short,  I  have  found  it  to  be  more  and  more  true, 
every  day  of  my  life,  that  Christ  is  a  complete  and 
ever-present  Saviour,  and  that  if  I  but  commit  all 
my  interests  to  him,  I  have  as  a  dear  child  once 
said,  nothing  to  do  now  but  *'just  to  mind."  To 
say  "Thy  will  be   done"  seems   to   me,  more  and 


HANNAH    WHITALL   SMITH.  157 

more,  the  sweetest  song  of  the  soul.  The  deepest 
longings  of  my  whole  being  are  met  and  satisfied  in 
God.     He  is  enough! 

Believing,  resting,  abiding,  obeying— these  are  my 
part ;  he  does  all  the  rest.  What  heights  and  depths 
of  love,  what  infinite  tenderness  of  care,  what  wise 
lovingness  of  discipline^  what  grandeur  of  keeping, 
what  wonders  of  revealing,  what  strength  in  weak- 
ness, what  comfort  in  sorrow,  what  light  in  dark- 
ness, what  easing  of  burdens  I  have  found ;  what  a 
God,  and  what  a  Saviour,  no  words  can  tell ! 

''  Whom  have  I  in  heaven  but  thee  ?  And  there 
is  none  upon  earth  that  I  desire  beside  thee." 

HANNAH  WHITALL  SMITH. 

Philadelphia,  Pa.,  April  19,  1887. 


158  FORTY  WITNESSES. 


XX. 

ASAHEL  H.  HUSSEY. 

(FRIEND.) 

T  WAS  born  November  23,   1833,  in  the  village 
^    of  Mount  Pleasant,  Ohio. 

-  My  parents  were  Friends  or  Quakers,  which  gave 
me  a  birthright  membership  in  that  Church  of 
which  I  am  a  member. 

I  had  a  guarded  religious  education,  was  early 
taught  by  my  mother  to  say  *'  Now  I  lay  me  down 
to  sleep,"  and  often  had  deep  religious  convictions. 

From  a  child  I  have  been  a  faithful  attendant  on 
public  worship,  and  when  very  young  acknowl- 
edged God.  I  had  no  Sabbath-school  privileges 
and  but  little  practical  instruction  in  the  way  of 
salvation,  but  had  a  covenant  with  God,  and  tried 
to  serve  him. 

I  have  no  distinct  recollection  of  my  conversion, 
but  remember  I  often  prayed  for  forgiveness  of 
sins,  and  at  times  joy  and  peace  followed.  While 
this  was  the  case  I  had  such  struggles  with  my  car- 
nal nature  that  I  doubted  my  conversion.  I  often 
prayed  earnestly  for  deliverance,  and  sought  it  by 
the  deeds  of  tlic  law,  knowing  no  other  way. 


ASAHEL  H.  HUSSEY.  159 

I  had  been  taught,  by  reading  our  standard 
works,  to  believe  in  Christian  perfection  or  holiness, 
and  once  wrote  an  article  upon  the  subject,  and 
would  argue  for  it. 

As  I  became  actively  engaged  in  Sabbath-school 
work  I  was  painfully  conscious  of  a  need  in  my 
soul  not  supplied — an  aching  void  which  led  me 
to  earnestly  cry  unto  God  for  deliverance.  But  it 
never  came.  I  had  many  years  of  this  kind  of  life  — 
doubts  and  fears — careless  and  indifferent,  then 
faithful  and  peaceful — but  no  steady  walk  with  God. 

In  the  providence  of  God  I  met  with  a  friend 
who  spoke  of  having  received  the  blessing  of  holi- 
ness. She  told  of  the  light  and  joy  and  peace 
which  filled  her  soul,  and  while  she  talked  my  heart 
burned  within  me  for  a  like  experience,  and  I  began 
to  seek  for  it  in  real  earnest. 

She  left  me  a  little  tract  to  read—''  Out  of  dark- 
ness into  the  kingdom" — by  R.  P.  Smith,  which 
gave  me  some  help. 

Being  often  in  company  with  D.  B.  Updegraff, 
who  had  received  the  experience  of  holiness  a  short 
time  before,  I  now  sought  help  from  him,  and  one 
Sabbath  afternoon  in  June,  1870,  as  we  were  talk- 
ing upon  this  experience,  I  found  clearly  the  way 
to  obtain  it.  I  learned  if  I  made  a  complete  con- 
secration of  all  to  God,  and  then  simply  believed 
that  God  accepted  the  offering,  that  the  altar  would 
sanctify  the  gift  the  moment  it  was  put  thereon — I 


l6o  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

would  have  the  blessing  of  sanctification.  This 
seemed  easy  and  simple.  I  concluded  to  try  it,  but, 
for  fear  of  failure,  I  thought  best  to  say  nothing 
about  it.  As  my  consecration  was  complete 
I  had  peace  in  it,  but  nothing  definite  came  in  my 
experience  until  a  few  days  after,  when  I  confessed 
to  a  very  intimate  friend,  in  the  presence  of  others, 
"That  my  all  was  the  Lord's."  Then  a  flood  of  joy 
and  peace  filled  my  soul.  From  this  time  I 
believed  and  confessed  the  experience,  which 
increased  my  faith  and  confidence. 

Because  of  much  opposition,  and  a  conscious 
weakness  in  speaking  boldly  for  Christ,  I  felt  I 
needed  the  induement  of  power  from  on  high.  In 
this  condition  I  retired  to  my  room  and  there 
poured  out  my  soul  to  God  for  deliverance.  While 
thus  engaged  in  prayer  I  felt  a  peculiar  sensation 
come  over  my  body,  and  the  glory  of  the  Lord 
filled  my  soul,  so  that  I  shouted  aloud,  "  Glory  to 
God,"  until  I  was  completely  prostrated,  and  asked 
God  to  stay  his  hand.  I  felt  the  Spirit  permeating 
my  entire  being,  and  that  I  was  now  fully  crucified 
with  Christ,  cleansed  from  all  sin  and  dead  indeed 
unto  sin. 

The  thought  of  sin  pained  my  heart,  and  to  yield 
to  it  I  felt  would  be  instant  death. 

After  recovering  from  my  prostration  I  sat  up  to 
read  my  Bible,  which  was  wonderfully  illuminated. 
While  reading  a  doubt  was  thrust   into  my  mind  as 


ASAHEL  H.  HUSSEY.  l6l 

to  whether  this  was  truly  the  baptism  of  the  Holy 
Ghost  or  a  delusion.  This  was  soon  overcome,  and 
the  glory  of  the  Lord  so  filled  me  that  I  could  not 
sleep  that  night.  As  I  walked  out  in  the  beauti- 
ful moonlight  I  could  hear  the  insects  singing 
"  Glory  to  God,"  the  crickets  in  the  grass  sayin-, 
"  Blessed  Jesus,"  and  in  the  house  the  old  clock  on 
the  wall  ticked  "  Praise  God."  This  thrilling  emo- 
tion, which  lasted  for  days,  did  subside,  but  the  life 
and  light,  joy  and  peace,  have  continued  for  these 
seventeen  years.  I  immediately  entered  upon  gos- 
pel service  with  renewed  energy,  and  was  blessed 
in  it.  I  have  had  many  severe  trials  and  tests  of 
my  faith,  but  Christ  has  given  the  victory. 

I  have  found  it  safe  to  trust  all  in  the  hands  of  God 
and  obey  him  in  all  things,  and  in  so  doing  I  find 
more  happiness,  joy,  and  peace  in  life  than  I  ever 
had  before.  *'  There  are  no  joys  like  the  joys  of 
God's  salvation."  In  times  of  trial  and  perplexity 
I  find  it  delightful  to  commit  all  to  God,  realizing 
that  he  knows  best  and  cares  for  me  still,  and  will 
never  leave  nor  forsake  me.     Praise  his  name. 

ASAHEL  H.  HUSSEY. 

Mt.  Pleasant,  O.,  Twenty-fifth  Day,  Third  Month,  iSi:);. 
11 


l62  FORTY  WITNESSES. 


XXI. 

REV.  LEWIS  B.  BATES,  D.D. 

(METHODIST.) 

TXAHEN  seven  years  of  age,  in  a  prayer-meeting 
1  led  by  my  brother,  Rev.  George  W.  Bates, 
who  gave  the  invitation  for  any  who  desired  to 
seek  the  Lord  to  manifest  it  by  rising,  standing  up 
beside  my  mother  and  kneeh'ng  with  her  hand  upon 
my  head,  she  said,  "  Lewis,  do  you  want  to  be 
saved  ?  "  "  Yes,  mother,"  was  the  reply.  Then 
said  the  mother,  *'  Believe  on  the  Lord  and  Saviour 
Jesus  Christ  and  thou  shalt  be  saved."  The  boy 
did  believe  and  was  saved,  and  gave  testimony  at 
the  close  of  the  meeting  that  Christ  had  received 
him  as  his  disciple.  In  school  the  next  day,  at  re- 
cess, he  told  the  children  what  God  had  done  for 
him,  and  then  he  had  the  clear  conviction  that  God 
called  him  to  be  a  preacher  of  his  Gospel.  For  one 
year  all  went  well  with  me.  But  fifty  years  ago  very 
little  was  thought  of  a  child's  religion,  and  I  was 
left  mostly  to  myself,  not  invited  even  to  unite 
with  the  Church,  but  my  mother  always  believed  in 
my  piety. 

At  thirteen  years  of  age  I  left  home  to  work  for 


REV.    LEWIS   B.    BATES,    D.D.  1 63 

my  education,  and  continued  in  much  the  same  re- 
Hgious  condition  until  I  was  seventeen  years  of  age, 
when,  on  the  27th  of  February,  1847,  ^^^er  care- 
ful self-examination,  I  brought  all  to  God's  altar 
and  made  an  entire  consecration  to  him  of  all  I  had 
or  hoped  to  be,  and  by  faith  received  the  entire 
cleansing  of  my  heart  by  the  blood  of  Jesus  Christ, 
"which  cleanseth  from  all  unrighteousness."  My 
reputation,  talents,  time,  heart,  will,  choice,  kindred, 
and  all,  was  accepted  of  him  in  the  everlasting  cov- 
enant ;  and  from  that  hour  to  this  I  have  not  will- 
fully disobeyed  him.  Many  mistakes,  many  errors 
of  judgment,  but  the  offering  has  never  been  taken 
back.  God  did  accept  all,  and  has  been  living  in 
this  heart  of  mine  Sovereign  and  King. 

God  has  gloriously  revealed  himself  to  me  as  a 
complete  Saviour. 

During  thirty-eight  years  of  my  ministry  I  have 
always  enjoyed  and  preached  a  full,  free  and  perfect 
salvation,  urging  the  people  to  present  deliverance 
from  all  sin  and  entire  sanctiflcation  to  God  and 
his  service,  and  perfect  conformity  to  the  will  and 
image  of  Christ's  preaching ;  to  all  that  the  witness 
of  sanctiflcation  is  as  clear  and  distinct  as  our  ac- 
ceptance with  God  can  be.  I  have  found  in  these 
thirty-seven  years  of  experience  peace,  rest,  joy  and 
consolation  perfect  in  Christ,  without  any  failures 
on  his  part.  I  find  the  Holy  vSpirit  an  abiding 
guest,  ever  witnessing  with  the  blood  and  word,  de- 


1 64  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

daring  that  *'he  that  is  born  of  God  sinneth  not." 
Of  this  victory  secured  by  the  blood  of  cleansing  I 
could  write  volumes.  It  is  new  every  morning, 
every  evening,  every  midnight  ;  yes,  new  every  mo- 
ment. O  boundless  ocean  of  perfect  love  in  Jesus 
Christ  my  Lord  ! 

All  glory  be  to  God  for  the  great  things  he  has 
done  for  me  personally  in  my  family  :  brought  them 
all  to  know  him  *'  whom  to  know  is  life  eternal." 

Now  there  burns  on  the  altar  of  my  heart  the 
holy  fire  of  love  supreme  to  God,  and  love  pure  and 
consecrated  to  all  men. 

'*  Great  peace  have  they  that  love  thy  law,  and 
nothing  shall  offend  them." 

"  If  ye  abide  in  me,  and  my  words  abide  in  you, 
ye  shall  ask  what  ye  will  and  it  shall  be  done." 

LEWIS  B.  BATES. 
East  Boston,  Mass.,  March  12,  1888. 


OSIE  M.   FITZGERALD.  165 


XXIT. 

OSIE  M.  FITZGERALD. 

(METHODIST.) 

T  WAS  born  in  Bernardsville,  New  Jersey,  in  181 3. 
J)    When  I  was   about  six  years   old,  thinking  I 
would  have  a  nice  time,  I  took  a  water-melon  from 
my  uncle's  farm  near  by  and  divided  it  with  two 
cousins.     My  oldest  brother,  nearly  twelve  years  of 
aee,  heard  what  I  had  done.     In  the  evening  he 
took  me  aside  and  asked  me  if  I  knew  I  had  been 
stealing.    He  said  that,  having  taken  it  without  my 
uncle's  consent,  it  was  stealing.    What  he  said  made 
no  impression  upon  me  at  the  time  ;  but  the  next 
April  that  dear  brother  died.     Some  time  after  his 
death  I  became  deeply  convicted  of  sin.  My  brother 
had  told   me   that   no  one   who   stole   could   enter 
heaven.     So  I  felt  that  I  was  lost.     My  convictions 
were   so  keen  they  destroyed  my  appetite,  and   I 
stayed  away  from  my  dinner.    My  father  missed  me 
and  sent  a  servant  for  me.    I  told  her  I  did  not  want 
any  dinner,  but  wanted  to  see  my  father.     I  was  in 
the    garden    weeping    bitterly.     The    dinner    was 
given  up  by  my  father.    I  was  taken  into  the  sitting- 
room,  and  he  took  me  on  his  lap.    Then  I  told  him 


1 66  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

all — how  I  had  taken  the  melon,  and  that  I  should 
be  lost.     He  told  me  to  stop  crying  and  listen  to 
him.     He  said  Jesus  had  died  for  my  sins,  and  if  I 
would  trust  Jesus  to  save  me  he  would  do  it.  I  think 
I  believed  because  my  father  said  so.     As  soon  as 
I   believed    that    Jesus   pardoned   my   sins,  in    the 
twinkling  of  an  eye  the  joy  of  the   Lord  filled  my 
soul,  so  that  I  went  skipping  from  sitting-room  to 
parlor,  from  parlor  to  kitchen,  like  a  bird  of  the  air. 
My  parents  were   delighted,  for  I   had  been  under 
that  weight  of  sin  for  weeks,  till  the}^  began  to  fear 
for  my  health,  not   knowing   what   ailed  me.     At 
this  time  I  was  seven  years  old,  and   was  thought 
too  young  to  join  the  Church,  so  I  was  left  out  in 
the  cold  until  I  was  nearly  frozen  to  death.     Some 
years    afterward    the    Lord   graciously  visited    the 
Presbyterian     Church     (to     which     my      parents 
belonged)  and  gave  me  a  fresh  token  of  my  accept- 
ance with  him.     I  was  then  taken  into  the  Church 
with  my  older  brother  and  sister.     At  that  time  I 
was  fifteen  years  of  age. 'From  the  time  I  was  con- 
verted my   conscience   was  very    keen,   so   that   I 
would  not  take  even  a  pin  from  the    cushion   of 
another,  nor  one  that  I   found   on  their  floor;  and 
if  I  repeated  anything  I  had  heard  I  would  repeat 
the  exact  words.     I  prayed  daily,  but  my  Christian 
life  was  not  a  joyous  one.     I  had  been  taught  to 
say  **  I  hope   I  am  a  Christian,"   and   that  it  was 
presumption  to  say  I  knew  my  sins  were  forgiven. 


OSIE    M.    FITZGERALD.  167 

Many  times  the  question  would  arise  in  my  mind, 
"  Do  1  belong  to  the  Lord  ?  "  As  years  passed  on 
I  had  a  great  desire  to  be  more  Christlike.  I  began 
to  note  the  Lord's  dealings  with  me.  I  kept  a 
diary,  which  showed  me  many  mistakes,  failures, 
and  broken  resolutions.  Though  I  now  enjoyed  re- 
ligion, and  had  the  witness  of  God's  Spirit  that  I 
was  adopted  into  his  family,  yet  when  I  ''  would  do 
good  evil  was  present  with  me."  Little  things 
would  make  me  angry.  In  the  morning,  while 
bowed  before  God,  I  would  resolve  not  to  get  angry 
that  day.  But  when  night  came  I  found  myself 
weighed  down  by  broken  resolutions.  If  I  had 
company  and  wanted  my  dinner  particularly  nice, 
and  it  was  burned,  I  was  angry.  If  a  servant  went 
to  the  wrong  side  of  a  person  at  the  table  to  help 
him,  though  I  said  not  a  word,  I  would  feel  angry, 
thinking  my  guest  would  consider  me  incompetent 
to  teach  my  servant  what  was  proper.  My  pride 
was  wounded.  Afterward  I  would  weep  before  the 
Lord,  knowing  that  he  saw  my  heart  though  others 
did  not.  About  that  time  the  Lord  sent  the 
Rev.  James  Caughey  to  the  Central  Methodist 
Episcopal  Church  for  a  few  weeks,  and  he  preached 
clearly  the  doctrine  of  entire  sanctification.  I  had 
not  thought  that  I  could  ever  live  without  daily 
committing  sin.  But  when  he  took  his  text,  "  Be 
ye  holy  for  I  am  holy,"  and  said  we  are  not  only 
invited   but   commanded    to    be    holy,  the    words 


l68  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

Struck  deep  into  my  heart.  He  then  quoted  Paul 
and  Fletcher,  Payson,  Wesley  and  others.  I 
thought,  it  may  be  for  them  but  not  for  me.  But 
the  words  came,  ''  God  is  no  respecter  of  persons," 
and  with  a  determined  will  I  said,  "  God  being  my 
helper,  I  shall  have  that  blessing."  We  were  in- 
vited forward  to  the  altar.  I  went  to  get  a  clean 
heart  ;  but  when  asked  what  I  came  for  I  said,  ''  a 
deeper  work  of  grace."  The  Lord  blessed  me  won- 
derfully, and  I  was  told  that  it  was  entire  sanctifi- 
cation  ;  for  surely,  they  said,  "if  I  were  willing  to  die 
for  Christ  I  must  love  God  with  all  my  heart."  I 
did  not  believe  I  had  it.  I  found  then,  and  have 
found  ever  since,  that  it  takes  more  grace  to  live 
for  Christ  than  it  does  to  die  for  him.  Then  it 
came  to  me,  "  Will  you  give  your  children  to  the 
Lord  ?  "  It  was  suggested,  "  if  you  do  he  will  take 
them  out  of  the  world."  At  last  I  surrendered 
them  to  God.  Then  came  a  still  greater  struggle. 
The  Spirit  said,  "  Will  you  give  up  your  husband, 
to  me?  "  I  said,  ''  Lord,  I  w^ill  die  willingly  if  thou 
wilt  let  him  live.  I  am  not  of  much  account,  but 
I  cannot  live  and  let  him  die,  for  my  health  is  so 
poor  I  will  be  unable  to  take  care  of  my  family." 
It  was  also  suggested  that  ''  we  might  lose  all  our 
property,  and  I  would  at  last  have  to  go  to  the 
alms-house."  That  struggle  lasted  for  two  days  or 
more.  Then  it  was  whispered  to  me,  "  You  may  be 
the  means  of  saving  some  soul  in  the  alms-house." 


OSIE    M.    FITZGERALD.  1 69 

Then  came  the  passage,  "  No  good  thing  will  I 
withhold  from  them  that  walk  uprightly."  I 
yielded  all  to  God.  Saturday  night  came.  I  went 
forward  for  prayers.  The  Spirit  said  to  me,  "  If  I 
give  you  a  clean  heart,  and  sanctify  you  wholly,  will 
you  speak  before  this  people  and  tell  them  what  I 
have  done  for  you  ?  "  Having  been  brought  up  a 
Presbyterian  I  was  very  much  opposed  to  women 
speaking  in  the  church.  I  thought  no  one  but  a 
bold  Methodist  woman  would  speak  in  church. 
Consequently  I  said,  "  No  ;  it  is  not  the  place  for 
a  female  to  speak."'  Again  the  question  was 
repeated.  I  then  said  ''  I  would  do  it  if  the  Lord 
required  it,  but  he  does  not,  for  there  are  plenty  of 
men  to  speak."  My  agony  of  soul  increased,  and 
as  I  continued  to  plead  the  question  continually 
recurred.  My  agony  of  soul  was  so  intense  that  it 
seemed  to  me  it  must  soon  be  victory  or  death,  and 
I  cried  out,  *'  Yes,  Lord,  though  it  be  before  a  thou- 
sand people."  Then  there  was  a  great  calm  in  my 
soul.  And  I  said,  *'  What  now,  Lord  ?  "  The  Spirit 
said,  "  What  things  soever  ye  desire,  when  ye  pray  be- 
lieve that  ye  receive  them  and  ye  shall  have  them." 
(Mark  ii,  24.)  I  saw  clearly  I  must  believe  before  I 
could  receive.  The  tempter  said,  "  How  can  you 
believe  without  any  evidence  ?  "  I  replied,  *'  I  have 
God's  word,  and  I  believe  the  work  is  done  if  I  never 
have  any  more  evidence  till  I  meet  him  at  his  bar ; 
for  he  says,  '  Heaven  and  earth    shall  pass  away, 


I/O  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

but  my  word  shall  not  pass  away.'  "  "  But,"  said 
the  tempter,  '*  you  may  find  yourself  mistaken."  I 
said,  '*  I  will  take  that  promise  with  me  to  the  bar 
of  God,  and  I  will  tell  Him  that  I  have  been  trusting 
Him  (on  his  word)  for  a  clean  heart,  without  any 
evidence."  Then  the  adversary  said,  "  Perhaps  you 
will  find  there  is  no  God."  I  answered,  "  Then  I 
am  safe  ;  if  there  is  no  God  there  is  neither  heaven 
nor  hell."  Some  time  after  a  good  brother  said  to 
me,  **You  do  believe  that  God  cleanseth  you  now 
from  all  sin."  If  I  had  had  a  thousand  bodies  and 
souls  I  could  have  thrown  them  all  into  that  "  Yes." 
The  moment  I  confessed  it  the  Holy  Ghost  with 
lightning  speed  came  into  my  heart  and  cleansed  it 
from  all  sin,  and  took  up  his  abode  in  my  heart 
and  filled  me  with  such  unspeakable  joy  that  for 
three  days  I  scarcely  knew  whether  I  was  in  the 
body  or  out  of  it.  Great  struggle  as  I  had  to  get 
a  clean  heart,  it  was  a  struggle  of  a  week  to  get 
it  cleansed,  but  need  not  have  taken  three  minutes 
if  I  had  surrendered  my  will  to  God  ;  but  it  is  a  life 
battle  with  the  world,  the  flesh,  and  Satan  to  keep 
it  clean,  and  nothing  but  a  continual  surrender  to 
God  can  do  it. 

God  pardoned  my  sins  in  the  winter  of  1820-21. 
On  the  27th  of  December,  1856,  in  the  evening,  in 
Central  Methodist  Episcopal  Church  in  Newark, 
N.  J.,  through  the  blood  of  Jesus  Christ,  God 
cleansed  my  heart  from  all  sin,  and  the  Holy  Ghost 


OSIE    M.    FITZGERALD.  I?! 

sanctified  me  wholly,  I  think.     Mr.  Wesley  says  it 
is   next   to  a   miracle   for  any  one   to    receive    that 
blessing  and  never  lose  it.     Then   I  surely  am  next 
to  a  miracle  of  grace.    For  I  have  never  lost  it,  and 
I  have  no  recollection  of  ever  feeling  the  stirrings 
of  anger,   jealousy,    pride,   self-will,   or   bitterness, 
since    the    day    God    cleansed    my  heart    from    all 
sin   and  the   Holy  Ghost  came  in   and   filled   me. 
He  has  been   the  door-keeper  of  my  heart  every 
hour   since ;    and    from  that    day  to   this    nothing 
has    been   permitted    to    enter   that   has  not  been 
submitted   to  the  will  of  God.     Temptations  have 
come  but  have  not  been  permitted  to  enter.    There 
has    not    been    one    hour    since    that    I    have    not 
had   access   to   the   audience-chamber  of   the  Most 
High.    I  think  I  once  came  near  losing  it,  not  know- 
ing clearly  the  voice  of  the    Spirit,  in  letting  my 
husband  decide  for  me,  thinking  the  word  of  God 
required  me  to  be  obedient  to  my  husband.     In  my 
early  experience  of  full  obedience  to  God  the  Spirit 
prompted  me  to  pray  in  the  meeting.     Not  being 
accustomed  to  try  the  spirits,  I  questioned  wheth- 
er  the    evil    one   was    not  tempting    me  to  break 
through  the  rules  of  the   meeting  and  pray  when 
the  men  were  asked   to  pray   and  no  woman  was 
invited.     Not   knowing  fully  that   it  was  of  God  I 
questioned  till  the   opportunity  was  past.     After- 
ward it  was  said  to  me,  ''  If  you  had  been  led  to  pray 
in  your  room  alone  would  you  not  have  done  it?'' 


1/2  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

I  said,  ''  Yes."  ''  Then  what  but  a  man-fearing  or 
a  man-pleasing  spirit  prevented  you  ?"  I  said, 
"  Lord,  show  me  clearly  thy  will ;  please  or  dis- 
please man,  I  will  do  it."  The  adversary  said, 
"  You  will  do  it  before  all  those  people."  I  said, 
"  Lord,  show  me  thy  will,  and  I  will  do  it  if  I 
die  in  the  act."  It  came  to  me,  "  Now  you  will 
be  tested."  The  next  prayer-meeting  I  felt  no  lead- 
ing of  the  Spirit  till  near  the  close  of  the  meeting, 
when  it  came  to  me,  '^  Pray!"  I  said,  ''Lord,  shall 
I  pray  when  this  man  ceases  ?"  It  came  to  me, 
"No."  I  thought  "perhaps  the  Lord  is  going 
to  teach  me  obedience  and  oblige  me  to  ask 
the  privilege  to  pray  after  they  close  the  meeting 
I  felt  I  w^ould  do  it,  but  they  sang  another 
hymn  and  called  upon  a  brother  to  pray,  who 
commenced  and  could  not  pray,  stopped,  and  I 
prayed,  or  rather  the  Holy  Ghost  prayed  through 
my  lips.  After  this  there  was  a  watch-night  service 
appointed  for  Sunday  night,  and  the  Spirit  showed 
me  I  was  to  go.  After  I  came  from  church  I  was 
taken  very  sick,  so  that  I  could  not  sit  up,  and  as 
the  time  for  service  drew  near  I  began  to  feel  that 
I  might  be  mistaken  about  the  Lord  wanting  me 
to  go ;  so  I  prayed  earnestly  for  him  to  show  me 
if  he  willed  me  to  go.  I  found  he  did.  It  was  sug- 
gested, ''  You  are  so  sick."  I  said,  "  Lord,  I  will  go  if 
I  die  on  the  way."  Not  being  able  to  walk  straight 
it  was  with  great  difficulty  that  I  got  out  of  the 


OSIE    M.    FITZGERALD.  173 

house   into   the   street;  but   as    I  was  passing  the 
second  house  from  mine  all  sickness  left  me,  and  in 
an  instant  I  was  as  well  as  I  ever  was.     The  Lord 
had  been  working  in  that  church  ;  the  altar  had  been 
crowded    night    after    night    with    seekers.     That 
night  the  preacher    could  not  get  the   people  to 
move.     I   think  only  two  went  forward,   and  the 
spiritual    atmosphere    was    heavy    as     lead.     The 
preacher  started  down  the  aisle,  and  it  was  said  to 
him,  "  There  is  your  help,  in  that  pew."    Not  know- 
ing who  I  was,  as  I  was  kneeling  and  he  could  not 
see  my  face,  he  said,  *'  My  sister,  I  want  you  to  go 
forward  and  talk  to  those  seekers."     It  was  a  great 
cross  for  me  to  do  it ;  but  I  went.     He  said,  ''  We 
will  sing  one  verse,  then  Sister  FitzGerald  will  talk 
to  us."     Not  thinking  of  one  word  to  say,  it  was  so 
great  a  cross  that  I  know  I  could  have  died  easier 
than  to  speak.     But  the  thought  came,  ''  I   must 
meet  all  these  at  the  judgment,"  and  though  I  could 
not  think  of  one  word  to  say,  I  said,  "  Here,  Lord, 
are  these  lips;  speak  through  them."     I  told  of  an 
Episcopalian  lady  who  some  years  before  was   in 
that  church  and  became  deeply  convicted,  but  her 
husband  opposed  her  coming  again,  saying  she  was 
as  good  as  those  who   professed  to   be  converted. 
A  short   time  after  she  sickened   and   died.     Just 
before  she  died  she  called  for  her  little  daughter, 
some  two  or  three  years  old,  to  be  placed  upon  the 
bed,  her  husband  sitting  beside  her  bed.     She  said, 


1 74  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

"  You  have  stood  between  me  and  my  soul's  salva- 
tion. You  said  I  was  good  enough.  Now  I  want 
you  to  promise  me  that  you  will  let  my  dear  child 
go  to  church  as  God  leads  her,  that  she  may  be 
saved."  As  I  told  this  an  elegantly  dressed  lady 
from  the  middle  of  the  church  arose  and  came  to 
the  altar.  As  she  started  out  the  people  started 
from  all  parts  of  the  church  and  came  forward,  and 
many  were  converted.  Two  days  after,  this  lady 
came  to  see  me  ;  God  had  soundly  converted  her. 
She  said,  "  I  was  deeply  convicted,  and  wanted  to  go 
forward  for  prayers ;  but  my  husband  was  in  Wash- 
ington, and  I  thought  he  would  be  displeased  when 
he  came  to  find  that  I,  an  Episcopalian,  had  gone 
to  a  Methodist  altar  for  prayers.  But  when  you 
told  that  story  I  resolved  he  should  not  stand 
between  me  and  God ;  that  I  would  have  my  soul 
saved." 

When  I  was  first  fully  saved  Christ  so  satisfied 
me  that  the  things  of  this  world  did  not  trouble  me. 
If  a  dinner  were  uncooked,  or  if  it  were  burned,  it 
did  not  move  me ;  and  so  in  regard  to  other  things, 
if  the  family  complained,  though  I  saw  they  had 
just  cause  for  it,  yet  I  felt  I  must  not  complain, 
fearing  I  might  get  angry,  or  that  others  might 
think  I  was  angry,  though  I  w^as  not.  But  the  Lord 
showed  me  he  had  grace  enough  for  me  to  be 
decided  and  firm,  and  have  things  done  in  a  proper 
way,  and  yet  not  have  one  quiver  of  anger;  and  he 


OSIE    M.    FITZGERALD.  175 

has  proven  it  to  be  so.  The  way  grows  contin- 
ually brighter.  I  have  sweet  communion  with  the 
triune  God.  Sometimes  my  communion  is  with 
the  Father;  then  with  the  Son;  other  times 
with  the  third  person  of  the  adorable  Trinity.  For 
the  past  few  days  my  communion  has  been  with 
the  Father  and  the  Son.  He  reveals  himself  to  me 
so  wonderfully,  and  has  for  the  past  few  years,  that 
human  language  cannot  express  it.  At  times  it 
seems  as  if  my  heart  were  liquid.  For  years,  can 
clearly  say,  my  will  has  floated  in  the  will  of  God  as 
the  cork  floats  on  the  water.     To-day  Jesus  saves 

me  fully. 

OSIE  M.  FITZGERALD. 

Newark,  N.  J.,   June  i8,  1887. 


176  FORTY  WITNESSES. 


XXIII. 

REV.  GEORGE  HUGHES. 

(METHODIST.) 

TN  the  order  of  a  wise  providence  I  was  greatly 
^  favored  in  having  Christian  parents.  They 
were  members  of  the  Wesleyan  Society  in  Manches- 
ter, England.  My  precious  mother  was  one  of  the 
holiest  of  women.  The  sweet  savor  of  Christian 
holiness  pervaded  my  early  home.  In  the  midst  of 
many  domestic  cares  and  severe  trials  my  mother 
exemplified  daily  the  spirit  and  power  of  Christian 
perfection,  and  it  was  her  aim  especially  to  bring 
up  her  children  in  the  nurture  and  admonition  of 
the  Lord.  She  would  often  take  them  to  her  room 
and,  "  with  strong  cries  and  tears,"  commend  them 
to  her  Heavenly  Father's  watch-care.  The  remem- 
brance of  those  hours  of  devotion  is  to  me  '^  as 
ointment  poured  forth."  I  am  inclined  to  think 
that  in  early  childhood  I  was  made  a  subject  of 
God's  renewing  grace,  but,  like  too  many  of  tender 
years,  it  was  not  distinctly  retained. 

In  the  year  1838,  when  I  was  fifteen  years  of  age, 
I  came  to  this  country.  My  new  home  was  in  Phil- 
adelphia. The  separation  from  my  friends  and 
native  land  was  very  painful. 


REV.    GEORGE    HUGHES.  1 77 

It  was  not  long,  however,  ere  the  prayers  of  my 
pious  mother  were  answered.  In  the  following  year 
after  my  arrival  in  the  United  States,  in  February, 
1839,  under  the  ministry  of  Rev.  Charles  Pitman, 
in  the  Eighth  Street  Methodist  Episcopal  Church, 
Philadelphia,  I  was  happily  converted.  For  a  time 
I  went  on  my  way  rejoicing,  but,  through  the  influ- 
ence of  improper  associates  and  the  discouragements 
of  my  business  position,  I  was  turned  aside  from 
the  right  path.  Through  the  mercy  of  God,  I 
was  arrested,  and  restored  to  my  forfeited  peace. 

Subsequently,  I  removed  to  the  city  of  New  York 
and  became  connected  with  the  Allen  Street  Church. 
There  I  became  acquainted  with  Dr.  and  Mrs. 
Phoebe  Palmer,  and  a  life-long  friendship  was 
formed.  They  manifested  a  loving  interest  in  the 
stranger-boy,  and  sought  to  lead  me  into  the  higher 
walks  of  the  Christian  life.  They  conducted  a 
meeting  in  the  church  on  Saturday  evening  for  the 
promotion  of  holiness.  I  attended  that  meeting 
and  felt  its  potential  influence — in  fact,  I  believe  at 
that  time  I  had  some  experience  of  sanctifying 
grace ;  but  the  evidence  was  not  very  clear,  and  I 
did  not  hold  to  the  line.  Rev.  John  Poisal  was  pas- 
tor of  the  church,  and  manifested  a  lively  interest 
in  my  welfare.  He  gave  me  license  to  exhort,  and 
I  became  connected  with  the  Local  Preachers' 
Association  of  New  York. 

In  1843  I  ^^'as  called  to  enter  the  itinerant  minis- 
13 


1 78  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

try  of  the  Methodist  Episcopal  Churcn  by  Rev. 
John  S.  Porter,  presiding  elder  of  the  Newark  Dis- 
trict in  the  New  Jersey  Conference.  I  was  sent  to 
the  Madison  charge  as  junior  preacher.  I  entered 
upon  this  responsible  work  with  much  trembling, 
but  under  the  solemn  conviction  that  I  was  called 
of  God,  and  that  this  must  be  my  life-work.  In 
1844  I  was  admitted  on  trial  in  the  Conference  and 
continued  to  prosecute  my  holy  calling,  God  being 
pleased  to  give  me  seals  to  my  ministry.  Unfor- 
tunately for  me,  in  the  early  years  of  my  itinerant 
life,  my  environments  were  such  that  a  foolish  preju- 
dice against  special  meetings  for  the  promotion  of 
holiness  was  engendered  in  my  heart.  This  was  a 
snare  to  me,  and  a  great  hindrance  to  my  Christian 
progress  and  usefulness  as  a  minister.  My  friends, 
Dr.  and  Mrs.  Palmer,  like  guardian  angels,  were  ever 
upon  my  track,  and,  had  I  yielded  to  their  loving  min- 
istries, would  have  led  me  into  the  "  Land  of  Beu- 
lah."  In  one  of  my  charges  the  now  sainted  and  be- 
loved Mrs.  Mary  D.  James  was  one  of  my  flock. 
But  I  was.  particularly  averse  to  being  led  by  ''holy 
women"  in  this  matter.  I  thought  I  understood  the 
doctrine  of  Methodism,  having  studied  our  standard 
writers  in  my  Conference  course,  and  when  I  was 
ready  to  seek  the  experience  I  would  do  so  without 
the  persuasions  of  others.  The  remembrance  of 
those  years  of  unreasonable  opposition  is  now  very 
painful,  and  I  would  fain  obliterate  the  record.    But, 


REV.   GEORGE   HUGHES.  179 

alas!  it  is  ineffaceable.  I  held  to  the  doctrine  of 
entire  sanctification  tenaciously,  and  preached  it  to 
my  people,  thinking  it  my  duty  to  do  so  as  ex- 
pressive of  my  loyalty  as  a  Methodist  preacher. 
Often  while  thus  discoursing  to  the  congregation 
the  Spirit  would  speak  to  me  powerfully,  saying, 
"  Why  don't  you  do  this  yourself?  "  But  I  pleaded 
for  a  postponement. 

At  length,  after  about  twenty  years  of  this  bat- 
tling with  conviction,  God,  in  the  order  of  his 
providence,  brought  matters  to  an  issue  by  permit- 
ting me  to  go  into  the  furnace  of  affliction.  While 
presiding  elder  of  the  Burlington  District,  N.  J.,  I 
became  nervously  prostrated  and  was  obliged  to 
resign  my  charge.  By  the  advice  of  physicians  I 
returned  to  my  native  land  to  enjoy  a  year  of  en- 
tire quiet.  I  was  thus  furnished  with  an  opportu- 
nity to  review  my  past  life.  In  taking  this  retro- 
spect I  became  painfully  conscious  of  my  defects, 
and  especially  did  my  mistakes  concerning  the  sub- 
ject of  Christian  holiness  loom  up  before  me.  At 
this  juncture  Dr.  and  Mrs.  Palmer,  who  were  en- 
gaged in  evangelistic  services  in  my  native  city, 
Manchester,  called  to  see  me  one  day  at  my  father's 
house.  I  was  not  at  home,  but  when  informed  that 
they  had  called  my  heart  was  deeply  affected.  It 
brought  up  memories  of  the  past  very  vividly.  I 
attended  the  services  and  the  Holy  Spirit,  through 
their  instrumentality,   wrought  deep  conviction  in 


l80  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

my  mind.  At  the  close  of  these  services  they  went 
to  Nottingham.  I  said  to  my  companion,  ''  It 
seems  as  if  Satan  has  gained  advantages  over  me  for 
twenty  years  touching  personal  holiness ;  let  us  pack 
our  trunk  and  go  to  Nottingham  and  see  what  the 
Lord  will  do  for  us  there."  Accordingly  we  went,  and 
obtained  quarters  in  the  home  of  a  Wesleyan  local 
preacher  who  was  enjoying  entire  sanctification. 

On  Sabbath  morning,  May  31,  1863  (ever  mem- 
orable day)  we  attended  service  in  the  Wesleyan 
chapel,  and  the  junior  preacher,  Rev.  Mr.  Henchell, 
preached  a  sermon  on  the  text,  '*  We  know  that  all 
things  work  together  for  good  to  them  that  love 
God."  This  sermon  was  made  a  great  blessing  to 
my  soul.  While  listening  thereto  there  came  to 
me  a  voice  from  heaven,  saying,  "  If  the  Lord  shall 
fully  baptize  you  with  the  Holy  Ghost  will  you  wit- 
ness to  the  people  of  Nottingham  of  the  great  sal- 
vation ?  "  To  this  my  heart  made  affirmative  re- 
sponse. A  flood  of  joy  came  in  upon  me  instantly, 
and  I  returned  from  the  house  of  God  to  my  lodg- 
ings, praising  the  Lord  along  the  street.  In  the 
afternoon  we  went  to  the  opening  service  of  Dr. 
and  Mrs.  Palmer,  in  the  Shakespeare  Street  United 
Free  Methodist  Chapel.  During  that  hour  I  was 
led  to  make  my  entire  consecration  very  definite, 
and  the  witness  of  the  Holy  Ghost  to  inward  pu- 
rity, through  the  application  of  the  all-cleansing 
blood    of  Jesus,   was    very    clear   and   joyous.     In 


REV.    GEORGE    HUGHES.  l8l 

making  my  entire  consecration  it  was  laid  upon 
me  that  on  my  return  to  the  United  States  I 
should  witness  of  this  grace — a  vow  which  I  sacredly 
performed.  In  the  evening  of  that  day  I  was  led  to 
give  public  testimony  to  probably  fifteen  hundred 
people  of  my  folly  in  so  long  resisting  my  convic- 
tions on  this  subject,  and  of  the  gladness  of  my  heart 
in  the  reception  of  this  great  blessing.  I  continued 
to  enjoy  the  services  there,  and  had  great  peace, 
although  not  able  to  participate  very  actively 
therein. 

We  returned  to  the  United  States  on  the  same 
steamer  with  our  friends,  Dr.  and  Mrs.  Palmer,  and 
had  sweet  fellowship  by  the  way.  The  voyage  was 
a  stormy  one,  and  at  times  the  ship  was  in  great  peril 
but  my  mind  was  undisturbed.  While  the  ship  was 
rolling  in  the  mighty  waves,  as  I  lay  in  my  berth, 
I  was  ready  to  sing : 

"  This  awful  God  is  ours, 

Our  Father  and  our  Love  ; 
He  will  send  down  his  heavenly  powers, 

To  carry  us  above." 

If  spared  to  see  next  May  a  quarter  of  a  century 
of  experience  on  this  line  of  light  and  love,  will  have 
elapsed.  Blessed  years  they  have  been  !  I  cannot 
say,  however,  that  throughout  that  entire  period  I 
have  retained  a  clear  witness  of  entire  sanctification. 
The  evidence  has  been  obscured  at  times,  but  I 
have  never  been  able  to  rest  without  it. 


1 82  FORTY    WITNESSES. 

The  years  which  have  elapsed  have  been  rcvy  grotvth 
period.  My  feet  have  been  more  and  more  estab- 
lished in  paths  of  righteousness.  The  last  two  years 
have  been  exceedingly  precious,  full  of  power  and 
joy  in  the  Holy  Ghost.  I  never  preached  with  such 
freedom  as  I  do  at  the  present  time.  I  am  often 
filled  with  rapture  in  proclaiming  a  full  and  free 
salvation. 

The  Bible  is  indeed  a  luminous  book.  Its  hallow- 
ed pages,  to  my  view,  glow  with  supernatural  light. 
I  have  great  delight  in  prayer — closet,  family,  and 
public  prayer.  I  find  my  heart  going  out  with  glad 
response  to  pointed  scriptural  teachings,  particu- 
larly, ''  Love  thinketh  no  evil,"  "  In  honor  preferring 
one  another,"  '*  Esteeming  others  better  than  your- 
selves," "And  seekest  thou  great  things  for  thyself  ? 
Seek  them  not."  In  a  word,  love  has  the  mastery, 
the  antagonisms  being  destroyed,  and  my  feet  rest 
firmly  on  the  Rock  of  Ages.  I  am  proving,  as 
never  before,  tliat  salvation  is  a  Divine  personality — 
more,  far  more  than  a  blessing.  It  is  the  internal  re- 
vcalment  of  THE  Blesser  in  the  infinitude  of  His 
attributes,  constituting  within  my  soul  a  never-failing 
and  ever-springing  well  ''  springing  up  unto  everlast- 
ing life."  To  God  the  Father,  Son,  and  Holy 
Ghost,  be  everlasting  praise  ! 

GEORGE  HUGHES. 
New  York.  March  12.  1888. 


SARAH   A.    L.    PALMER.  1 83 


XXIV. 

SARAH   A.   L.   PALMER. 

(METHODIST.) 

T  WAS  born  April  23,  1806,  and  born  again  June 
J^  21,  1 8 19.  Being  taught  by  Christian  parents 
that  Jesus  loved  children,  and  often  feeling  a  con- 
scious love  to  Jesus,  I  seemed  to  take  it  for  granted 
that  I  was  a  child  of  God.  But  in  my  twelfth  year 
I  began  to  question  my  adoption.  Just  after  I  had 
passed  my  thirteenth  birthday,  on  my  way  to  a 
camp-meeting,  I  purposed  to  settle  the  question.  At 
the  first  prayer-meeting  I  began  to  ask  the  Lord  to 
make  me  his  child  and  let  me  know  it.  Then  came 
the  first  keen  conviction.  I  was  a  condemned  sin- 
ner ;  I  was  frightened,  and  wept  aloud.  But  soon 
the  joy  unspeakable  was  mine.  The  glory  was  too 
great  for  the  feeble  frame.  Totally  unconscious  of 
earthly  surroundings  I  joined  the  angelic  choir  in 
adoring  him  who  so  loved  us. 

Months  passed  joyfully,  when  I  was  deeply  im- 
pressed while  reading  Gen.  17.  I.  It  seemed  to  be 
a  command,  and  yet  an  impossibility.  Soon,  how- 
ever, the  light  came.  The  Lord  had  prefaced  the 
command  by  saying,  "  I  am  the  Almighty."     He 


1 84  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

had  also  said,  "  I  will  put  my  Spirit  within  you  and 
will  cause  you  to  keep  my  statutes  and  do  them." 

Temptations  were  many,  and  my  views  were  not 
clear,  but  I  felt  that  I  must  have  a  clean  heart.  We 
were  going  to  a  camp-meeting.  I  thought,  "  Surely 
I  will  get  the  blessing  there." 

On  the  first  day  of  the  meeting  I  went  forward  as 
a  seeker  of  sanctification,  and  continued  to  do  so 
through  the  whole  week.  Jacob-like,  the  whole  of 
the  last  night  I  wrestled.  Dear  ones  said  again 
and  again,  "  Believe,  believe  the  blood  cleanseth." 
My  reply  was,  "  I  do  believe,  but  I  want  to  feel." 
The  day  dawned;  my  dear  mother  said,  "  Daughter, 
you  must  leave  this  place,"  as  she  raised  me  from 
my  knees. 

Finding  I  could  struggle  no  longer  I  said,  *T  will 
believe."  At  that  moment,  as  I  opened  my  eyes 
and  caught  the  first  crimson  ray  of  the  rising  sun, 
filled  with  rapture,  I  exclaimed,  ''The  Sun  of 
Righteousness  has  risen  with  healing  in  his  wings." 

For  months  my  comfort  and  confidence  continued. 
Temptations  came.  My  numerous  young  associates 
could  not  understand  me.  They  said  I  was  ''  super- 
cilious "  or '' sanctimonious."  I  did  not  then,  nor 
do  I  now,  in  my  eighty-second  year,  think  I  made 
the  way  too  narrow. 

The  tempter,  no  doubt,  took  advantage  of  me,  and 
often  brought  me  under  painful  fear  lest  I  had 
grieved  the  good  Spirit.     Sometimes  I  prayed  my 


SARAH   A.    L.    PALMER.  1 85 

heavenly  Father  to  take  me  from  this  world  of 
temptations.  I  even  told  the  Lord  I  could  see  no 
reason  why  I  could  not  go  and  live  where  there  was 
no  danger  of  falling. 

But  the  crisis  came.  The  family  had  returned 
from  a  funeral.  As  I  entered  the  hall-door,  and 
placed  my  hand  on  the  rail  of  the  steps,  I  breathed 
a  sigh  and  said,  "  O,  if  they  had  only  laid  me  away 
instead  of  that  one  !  "  Instantly  it  seemed  as  if  a 
heavy  hand  was  laid  upon  my  shoulder  accompanied 
by  a  severe  reproof.  The  voice  said,  ''  How  un- 
grateful !  God,  has  put  you  here  for  a  purpose,  and 
you  are  struggling  to  get  away."  Never  did  I  so 
cower  under  an  earthly  parent's  reproof.  It  was 
God  my  Father,  and  I  had  offended  him  by  my  im- 
patience. Bursting  into  tears  I  cried,  "  Lord,  for- 
give me,  and  I  will  never  ask  this  again." 

Another  temptation  was  a  fear  that  I  might  live 
to  be  old  and  useless.  An  ardently-loved  relative 
seemed  to  be  set  aside  as  old  and  useless.  Pass- 
ing her  house,  on  the  opposite  side  of  the  street, 
one  day,  I  looked  up  to  her  window  to  catch 
the  affectionate  recognition.  But  the  loved  one 
did  not  appear.  I  drew  a  sigh,  and  was  on  the 
point  of  saying,  "  Please,  dear  Lord,  don't  let  me 
live  'to  be  old  and  useless."  Then  the  thought 
came,  ''  They  shall  still  bring  forth  fruit  in  old  age." 
Rejoicingly  I  said,  "  That  is  written  in  the  Bible, 
and  if  I  live  to  be  sixty  years  old  I  will  claim  that 


I  86  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

promise."  I  was  near  fifteen  when  this  precious 
promise  was  given,  and  I  have  held  it  fast,  calHng 
it  mine,  ever  since. 

Tests  came.  The  yielding  of  my  will  became  so 
painful  that  my  consecration  was  questioned,  per- 
plexity followed,  and  the  consciousness  of  purity 
was  dimmed,  then  lost.  Not  until  1823  was  the 
veil  lifted. 

One  evening  I  resolved  not  to  rise  from  my  knees 
without  the  clear  witness  of  holiness.  Several  times 
the  promise  was  presented,  "The  blood  cleanseth." 
Trembling,  I  would  say,  *T  do  believe,"  but,  impa- 
tient for  further  manifestations,  would  again  resume 
pleading.  About  one  o'clock  in  the  morning  I 
opened  the  precious  Bible  on  '^  Ye  have  need  of 
patience,  that,  after  ye  have  done  the  will  of  God, 
ye  might  receive  the  promises.  For  yet  a  little 
while  and  he  that  shall  come  will  come,  and  will  not 
tarry.  Now  the  just  sliall  live  by  faith."  I  felt  the 
reproof  and  also  the  encouragement,  and  calmly 
said,  "Lord,  I  will  believe  ;  I  am  wJiolly  thine  ;  help 
me  to  abide  in  thee."  I  then  retired,  resolving  to 
live  by  faith.  At  the  dawn  of  day  I  awoke,  desir- 
ing the  Lord  to  confirm  my  faith  by  directing  my 
eye  to  some  special  passage  in  the  Bible.  I  opened 
to  "  Now  the  just  shall  live  by  faith,  but  if  any  man 
draw  back  my  soul  shall  have  710  pleasure  in  himr 

I  was  thrilled.  I  felt  to  "  draw  back  "  would  be 
death,  and  cried,  "  Lord,  keep  me  !  "     Throughout 


SARAH   A.    L.    PALMER.  1 8/ 

the  day  a  most  profound  solemnity  rested  on  my 
mind.  Holiness  seemed  written  on  every  object. 
On  Monday  the  enemy  said,  ''  It  is  possible  you 
may  yet  be  deceived  ;  you  have  not  received  this 
blessing  as  you  expected."  But  my  soul  sweetly 
rested  in  the  precious  promises.  On  Tuesday  morn- 
ing a  very  powerful  temptation  was  presented.  I 
hastened  to  the  closet,  and,  pleading  my  youth  and 
inexperience,  felt  encouraged  to  ask  another  and  a 
still  more  powerful  assurance  of  purity.  The  an- 
swer was  instantly  given  by  a  most  powerful  appli- 
cation of  *'  Now  are  ye  clean  through  the  word 
which  I  have  spoken  unto  you." 

It  was  enough.  I  was  now  permitted,  in  a  man- 
ner unknown  before,  to  w^alk  and  talk  with  God. 

I  went  to  my  class  almost  impatient  to  declare 
the  loving-kindness  of  God.  At  the  commencement 
our  leader  prayed,  ''  Lord,  sanctify  us  wholly  ;  let  it 
not  be  a  f/dnk  so,  a  /wpe  so,  or  a  BELIEVE  so."  It 
went  as  an  arrow  to  my  heart.  ''  You  have  evidence 
only  as  connected  with  believing."  It  was  a  fatal 
dart  from  the  adversary.  My  only  hope  seemed 
wrested  from  me.  Unconscious  of  all  about  me  I 
seemed  intent  on  having  the  question  decided,  'Ts 
it  a  reality  or  not?"  When  rising  to  leave  the 
class-room  the  decision  came  to  give  up  my  intense 
interest  on  the  subject  of  holiness.  Others  seemed 
to  enjoy  the  favor  of  God  without  the  witness,  and 
I  thought  I  would  try  to  do  so  too.     I  little  thought 


1 88  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

of  its  impossibility.  I  was  instantly  hurled  into 
darkness  and  despair,  with  nothing  before  me  but 
the  awful  doom  of  the  fearful  and  unbelieving. 

My  senses  were  almost  astounded  with,  ''  If  any 
man  draw  back  my  soul  shall  have  no  pleasure  in 
him."  For  two  weeks  my  sense  of  ingratitude  was 
so  great  that  I  did  not  dare  to  hope  for  pardon. 
Then  a  sweet  voice  whispered,  ''  This  man  receiv- 
eth  sinners."  I  came  as  a  sinner  and  was  again 
accepted.  But  an  impression  that  I  had  forfeited 
the  close  fellowship  of  former  days  caused  deep  hu- 
miliation. It  seemed  just  that  I  should  not  be 
trusted.  I  had  **  drawn  back,"  and  as  a  naughty 
child  I  must  be  kept  at  a  little  distance  for  a  time,  but 
not  disinherited.  So  subtle  was  this  temptation  that 
for  months  it  was  not  suspected  as  Satanic.  As 
soon  as  I  detected  its  true  character  I  got  the 
victory. 

With  new  light  came  new  responsibilities.  The 
first  duty  against  which  my  will  rebelled  was  leading 
a  religious  meeting,  and,  next,  more  faithfulness  in 
personal  warnings.  The  way  in  w^hich  I  supposed 
the  Lord  required  me\.o  walk  I  could  not  expect  the 
dearest  loved  one  to  understand.  Alone  with  God 
this  matter  must  be  settled.  Death  seemed  prefer- 
able to  the 'divine  terms.  But  at  last  I  settled  it, 
and  again  I  triumphed. 

Early  in  May,  1835,  an  impression  was  felt  so 
much    like    unhallowed    emotion    that    it     caused 


SARAH   A.    L.    PALMER.  1 89 

extreme  pain.  I  then  resolved  to  have  a  more pos- 
itive  assurance  of  inward  purity.  I  immediately 
entered  into  covenant  with  God  to  withdraw  my 
mind  from  every  object  that  might  divert  me  from 
this  point,  and  to  leave  no  means  unused  which  he 
might  appoint.  Every  motive,  purpose  and  prac- 
tice was  required  to  undergo  a  renewed  investigation. 
I  cried,  "  O  fill  me  with  the  Holy  Ghost !"  All  was 
calm.  I  had  none  of  the  expected  emotions.  I  arose 
from  my  knees  fully  determined  to  reckon  myself 
dead  to  sin  if  I  had  not  a  joyous  emotion  in  forty 
years,  when  the  enemy  immediately  suggested,  "You 
have  no  more  evidence  now  than  before  ;  you  might 
have  believed  long  since ;  who  ever  heard  of  believing 
and  continuing  to  believe  without  evidence  ?"  Im- 
mediately the  Spirit  replied,  "  Blessed  are  they  that 
have  not  seen  yet  believe."  ''  Presumption  "  was  the 
constant  cry  of  the  enemy.  But  the  ''sword  of  the 
Spirit "  prevailed,  though  the  contest  was  very 
severe.  To  "■  draw  back"  I  knew  was  death,  and  I 
resolved  to  endure  the  conflict  while  mortal  life 
should  last,  even  if  no  other  evidence  was  given. 
Just  after  forming  this  resolution  the  promise  came 
with  more  power  than  ever,  "  Blessed  is  she  that 
believeth,  for  there  shall  be  a  performance  of  those 
things  which  were  told  her  from  the  Lord."  For 
seven  days  Satan  tauntingly  suggested,  "  You  be- 
lieve because  you  ivill  believed  Just  at  that  time  I 
met   Rev.  Timothy  Merritt,  who  said,  "  Sister,  you 


1 90  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

know  something  of  holiness  by  experience  ;  do  you 
not?"  I  was  startled,  and  about  to  reply,  "  I  am 
hardly  prepared  to  answer  that  question,"  but  after 
a  moment's  hesitation  I  said,  "  I  have  dared  to 
reckon  myself  dead  indeed  unto  sin,  but  it  is  con- 
stantly suggested  that  it  may  be  presumption,  with 
so  little  evidence."  Said  Brother  Merritt,  "  Never 
fear  presumption  in  believing  God;  presumption  lies 
in  daring  to  doubt."  All  fear  now  vanished.  The 
baptism  of  the  Holy  Ghost  came  in  its  glorious  full- 
ness; it  seemed  as  a  baptism  of  love  almost  to  the 
overwhelming  of  the  physical  frame,  accompanied 
with  an  inexpressible  consciousness  of  purity,  a 
consciousness  only  understood  by  those  who  have 
received  it. 

Since  that  blessed  day,  May  21,  1835,  I  think 
there  has  not  been  one  hour  in  which  my  soul  has 
not  been  sweetly  resting  in  the  precious  atonement. 
Though  the  witness  of  the  Spirit  has  not  been  with- 
drawn for  an  hour,  yet  there  have  been  instances 
when  sudden  temptation  has  assumed  so  much  the 
appearance  of  sinful  emotion  as  to  cause  keen  pain  ; 
but  I  have  been  invariably  enabled  almost  instantly 
to  appropriate  that  blood  which  cleanseth  from  all 
sin. 

These  acts  of  faith  have  generally  been  im- 
mediately succeeded  by  a  most  joyous  assurance. 
Since  I  have  been  enabled  to  abide  in  Christ  I  be- 
lieve the  language  of  my  heart  has  been : 


SARAH   A.    L.    PALMER.  I9I 

"  No  cross,  no  suffering,  I  decline, 
Only  let  my  whole  heart  be  thine." 

The  responsibility  of  being  a  steward — an  agent 
for  God — seems  very  great.  I  fear  I  often  lose  op- 
portunities of  acting  for  want  of  wisdom.  I  am, 
therefore,  constrained  to  cry  continually,  ''  Teach 
me  thy  way ;  lead  me  in  a  plain  path."  How  pre- 
cious do  I  find  the  promise,  '*  I  will  instruct  thee, 
and  teach  thee  in  the  way  which  thou  shalt  go  ;  I 
will  guide  thee  by  mine  eye."  The  word  of  God  is 
increasingly  precious.  It  is  principally  through  this 
medium  I  am  permitted  to  hold  converse  with 
Deity.  And  while  his  infinite  love  and  faithfulness 
are  unfolded  to  my  enraptured  vision  I  hear  him 
say,  more  and  still  m.ore  audibly,  "  Ye  are  my  wit- 
nesses of  these  things." 

After  more  than  seventy-six  years  of  conscious 

adoption,  and  fifty-two  of  dwelling  in  the  peaceful 

land  of  perfect  love,  my  heart  is  singing,  "  Blessed 

be  the    Lord,  that   hath   given  rest  to   his   people 

Israel,  according  to  all  that  he  promised  ;  there  hath 

not  failed  one  word  of  all  his  good  promise  which  he 

promised." — i  Kings  8.  56. 

SARAH  A.  L.  PALMER. 

316  East  Fifteenth  Street,  New 
York  City,  September  19,  1887. 


192  FORTY  WITNESSES. 


XXV. 

REV.  HENRY  P.  HALL. 

(METHODIST.) 

iWAS  born  in  Portsmouth,  New  Hampshire, 
September  20,  1814.  Early  in  life  I  realized 
the  need  of  salvation,  and  for  over  four  years  was 
burdened  with  a  sense  of  sin.  Near  the  age  of 
twenty,  while  listening  to  a  sermon,  I  said  mentally, 
*'  I  will  take  Jesus  to  be  my  Saviour."  Immediately 
my  burden  was  gone,  and  ere  the  evening  passed 
God's  love  was  shed  abroad  in  my  heart.  In  a 
short  time  I  was  immersed,  and  became  a  member 
of  the  Calvinistic  Baptist  Church  in  my  native 
town. 

During  the  summer  of  1839,  ^'"^  Boston,  I  ob- 
tained Mahan's  Christian  Perfection,  the  study  of 
which  convinced  me  of  my  duty  and  privilege  to  be 
entirely  sanctified  to  God.  I  was  then  an  active, 
obedient  Christian  up  to  the  light  I  had. 

With  this  increased  light  I  at  once  sought  to 
bring  my  whole  being  into  oneness  with  God's 
will.  Being  fixed  in  my  purpose  I  was  soon 
enabled  to  regard  myself  as  wholly  the  Lord's. 

Not   long   after,   while    in    prayer,   this    thought 


REV.    HENRY    P.    HALL.  1 93 

pressed  itself  upon  my  consciousness,  "  The  triune 
God  is  here."  I  was  at  once  filled  with  his  peace, 
and  arose  satisfied.  On  returning  to  my  business, 
and  thenceforward,  nothing  disturbed  my  inward 
calm,  though  I  had  been  troubled  by  a  hasty  tem- 
per. I  was  not  aware  that  .this  was  my  entrance 
into  the  life  of  holiness  until  at  a  meeting,  some 
evenings  after,  the  Holy  Spirit  reminded  me  of  the 
word  recently  given,  "  The  triune  God  is  here,"  as 
the  time  when  he  came  into  my  hfe  to  abide,  with 
all  things  pertaining  to  life  and  to  godliness.  I  was 
filled  with  the  Holy  Ghost.  It  became  my  meat 
and  drink  to  do  his  will  as  soon  as  known.  This 
was  in  the  winter  of  1839  ^^^  1840,  from  which 
time  higher  and  holier  motives  actuated  me.  It  was 
not  long  before  the  Lord  called  me  to  the  ministry. 
The  Baptist  Church  not  encouraging  my  views  of 
sanctification,  I  united  with  the  Methodist  Episco- 
pal Church. 

During  the  second  year  of  my  ministry  my  atten- 
tion was  called  to  this  w^ord  in  Jeremiah,  15,  19: 
*'  If  thou  take  forth  the  precious  from  the  vile  thou 
shalt  be  as  my  mouth."  I  had  thought  this  fully 
done  at  the  time  God  came  into  my  life  to  abide. 
But  the  Holy  Spirit  now  so  impressed  me  with  the 
importance  of  this  word  that  I  became  still  more 
sensitive  Godward,  and  began  to  detect  forms  of 
selfish   mixture  that  had   not  before    arrested    my 

attention.     Finding  myself  unable  to  discriminate 
13 


194  FORTV  WITNESSES. 

between  the  precious  and  the  vile  I  yielded  myself 
to  God  to  do  this  for  me.  Soon  a  form  of 
selfishness  was  discovered  which  so  surprised  and 
discouraged  me  that  in  utter  desperation  I  imme- 
diately said,  "  I  may  as  well  give  up  my  profession 
of  holiness."  As  this  thought  passed  through  my 
mind  I  seemed  to  fall  from  that  clear  light  and 
peace  that  for  years  had  been  my  abiding  state. 
Perceiving  this  I  quickly  said,  "  Why,  Lord,  all  this 
and  more  if  it  be  thy  will,"  and  instantly  I  was 
reinstated  in  God,  having  learned  to  distinguish 
the  evil  and  how  to  be  rid  of  it. 

This  proved  to  be  the  lesson  of  my  life,  and 
never  had  to  be  repeated. 

If  a  temptation  was  likely  to  cause  conflict  I  would 
no  longer  say  (as  I  had  been  taught)  that  it  was 
from  without,  but  at  once  yielded  m.yself  to  God  to 
bring  within  more  fully  the  life  of  Christ,  for  which 
the  holy  soul  is  predestinated.  I  became  sensitive 
to  the  Holy  Spirit's  work  through  my  powers, 
realizing  that  the  wholly  sanctified  soul  is  as  Jesus 
was  when  he  entered  upon  his  earthly  mission.  "  I 
came  not  to  do  my  own  will,  but  the  will  of  Him 
who  sent  me." 

My  preference  yielded  to  him  on  the  instant  of 
any  evidence  of  inharmony  with  his  way ;  the 
Lord  alone  was  exalted,  and  I  moved  on  with  cer- 
tainty in  his  will. 

It    is   now   nearly  forty-seven    years  since  I  en- 


REV.    HENRY    P.    HALL.  1 95 

tered  the  highway  of  holiness,  when  death  to  sin 
passed  upon  my  whole  being,  and  it  has  been  easy 
to  yield  up  the  self-life  (which  if  indulged  would 
become  sin),  bringing  every  thought  into  captivity 
to  the  obedience  of  Christ. 

My  abiding  home  has  been  in  the  thirteenth 
chapter  of  I  Corinthians.  Love  to  fullness  has 
abounded  always  toward  God  and  man.  Living 
by  the  "  faith  of  the  Son  of  God  "  it  has  always 
been  adequate  to  the  needs  of  this  great  salvation. 

I  have  two  little  words  ever  in  use,  yea  and  nay. 
Toward  God  in  all  things  my  yea  is  yea,  toward 
any  thing  opposite  to  him  my  nay  is  nay.  Thus  is 
the  Christ-life  constantly  revealed. 

A  number  of  years  since  I  met  with  a  dear  serv- 
ant of  God,  and  asked  him  about  his  experience  in 
holiness.  He  said  with  feeling  that  he  was  not 
now  in  that  grace.  I  then  related  my  experience 
as  above,  and  said,  "You  have  not  withdrawn  your 
consecration,  have  you  ?  "  He  replied,  "  I  have  not." 
His  soul  seemed  stirred.  I  then  asked,  "  Do  you 
want  God  to  regard  you  now  as  wholly  consecrated 
to  him  ?  "  "I  do,"  was  his  reply.  I  further  asked, 
"  Will  you  regard  yourself  as  thus  consecrated  to 
God?"  "There  comes  the  tug  of  war,"  he  said, 
but  soon  answered,  "  I  will."  I  was  led  to  state 
"  The  Holy  Spirit  will  now  witness  to  your  accept- 
ance," and  soon  inquired,  "  Does  he  .^"  "  Yes,"  was 
his   answer.      I  then   said,    "  Brother,   I   have    not 


196  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

Spoken  of  a  blessing  that  you  are  to  guard,  but  a  life 
into  which  you  have  entered."  The  next  week  he 
said  that  it  had  been  the  happiest  of  his  life.  At 
the  preachers'  class-meeting  the  next  month  he  tes- 
tified that  his  experience  the  past  month  had  been 
without  parallel  in  his  religious  history.  He  is  a 
prominent  minister,  and  is  now  one  of  God's  lights. 

HENRY  P.  HALL, 
North  Adams,  Mass.,  July  11,  1887. 


REV.    WILLIAM  JONES,  D.D.  197 


XXVI. 

REV.   WILLIAM    JONES,  D.D. 

(METHODIST.) 

T  WAS  converted  when  only  twelve  years  of  age, 
J^  and,  after  one  year  on  probation,  by  no  fault  of 
my  own  I  found  myself  outside  of  the  Church.  My 
sensitive  soul  was  wounded  and  I  gave  up  my  hope 
in  Christ,  and  after  years  of  moral  darkness,  the 
contemplation  of  which  is  yet  painful,  at  the  age  of 
nineteen  years  I  was  graciously  reclaimed.  But  I 
spent  only  a  brief  period  in  conscious  fellow.ship  with 
God. 

Realizing  fully  that  if  I  became  a  Christian  indeed 
I  should  have  to  preach  the  Gospel,  and  conscious 
of  my  inability  to  meet  the  demands  of  the  sacred 
office,  I  was  disobedient  to  the  heavenly  calling. 

I  put  away  the  conviction  of  duty  from  my  mind, 
and  sought  by  severe  application  to  study  to  dis- 
sipate all  sense  of  religious  obligation.  I  passed 
through  an  academic  course  of  study,  took  up  the 
science  of  medicine,  and  in  the  excitement  of  pro- 
fessional life  sought  a  respite  from  the  convictions 
of  duty.  But  there  came  a  time  when  the  Spirit  of 
God  came  with  great  power  to  my  heart,  the  whole 
tide  of  my  life  was  turned,  my  entire  being  was  ar- 


198  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

rested  and  held  in  suspense  by  the  presence  of  God, 
my  past  failures  and  future  possibilities  possessed 
me  by  day  and  by  night.  At  this  time  I  realized  in 
some  degree  the  danger  of  further  disobedience  ;  it 
appeared  to  me  that  I  must  submit  to  God  or  ut- 
terly perish  ;  and  after  a  severe  struggle  that  lasted 
many  days  I  yielded,  and  at  a  late  hour  in  the  night 
of  August  II,  1857,  alone  in  my  office,  I  bowed  in 
prayer  to  God,  gave  myself  to  him,  and  accepted 
Jesus  as  my  personal  Saviour. 

There  came  into  my  soul  a  sense  of  peace,  a  calm, 
quiet  assurance  of  the  divine  favor;  but  it  was  not 
like  my  former  experience;  there  was  no  ebullition 
of  joy.  There  was  a  cold,  sullen  sense  of  submission 
from  necessity,  a  spirit  of  subjugation,  and  the 
Father  seemed  far  off,  as  if  I  were  received  on  pro- 
bation, and  it  was  not  until  the  following  November 
that  I  received  by  the  Spirit  the  knowledge  of  com- 
plete reconciliation  through  Jesus  Christ.  Floods 
of  light  and  joy  came  into  my  soul.  I  was  pos- 
sessed of  a  new  manhood  ;  '*  old  things  "  had  passed 
entirely  away.  I  united  with  the  Methodist  Epis- 
copal Church,  and  the  path  of  ministerial  duty  was 
at  once  made  plain  ;  it  flashed  with  celestial  bright- 
ness and  glowed  with  a  radiance  almost  inconceiv- 
able, and  as  soon  as  my  probation  expired  I  began 
to  preach,  but  almost  immediately  renewed  the  con- 
troversy in  my  own  mind,  and  for  five  years  kept 
up  my  quarrel  with  God. 


REV.    WILLIAM   JONES,  D.D.  1 99 

*'  Clouds  and  darkness  were  round  about  me," 
weak  and  undecided;  I  was  vascillating  and  '' un- 
stable as  w^ater.''  But  there  came  a  crisis,  and  I 
united  with  the  Conference,  and  after  two  success- 
ful pastorates  of  two  years  each,  in  which  many 
were  converted,  in  the  fifth  year  of  my  ministry  I 
became  greatly  interested  in  the  subject  of  holiness. 
I  sought  earnestly  for  a  clean  heart.  The  fiery 
baptism  came  upon  me  and  I  was  ''  made  every 
whit  whole." 

For  a  little  more  than  one  year  I  enjoyed  this 
precious  experience,  quietly  and  alone,  but  without 
interruption.  No  one  preached  on  the  subject  that 
I  knew  of;  no  one  testified  to  it  in  my  hearing,  and 
I  cautiously  kept  still  and  remained  quiescent  until 
the  brightness  of  it  passed  away,  and  I  found  my- 
self without  the  witness  of  purity  and  not  always 
clear  in  my  experience  of  sonship. 

About  this  time  the  first  National  Camp-meeting 
at  Urbana,  Ohio,  occurred,  and  the  whole  country 
was  aroused  on  the  subject  of  holiness.  But  both 
the  doctrine  and  experience  were  misrepresented  by 
its  friends  and  caricatured  by  its  foes. 

The  old  heresy  of  the  imputed  holiness  and  the 
impeccability  of  the  sanctified  were  vigorously 
advocated  by  a  large  class  of  adherents. 

These  and  other  forms  of  error  were  prevalent  in 
my  congregation,  and  I  began  a  careful  examination 
of  the   doctrinal  and   philosophical  aspects  of  the 


20O  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

subject.  That  I  might  have  opportunity  to  hear 
their  experiences  and  know  their  teachings  I  at- 
tended the  special  holiness  meetings.  I  was  also 
present  at  the  second  National  Camp-meeting  at 
Urbana,  and  listened  carefully  to  the  sermons  and 
teachings  of  the  members  of  that  association.  I 
heard  the  thrilling  testimonies  of  the  newly  sancti- 
fied and  the  enrapturing  experiences  of  those  who 
had  been  years  in  the  way,  and  found  the  teachings 
of  the  association  and  the  experiences  of  the  people 
to  be  in  accord  with  my  own  former  experience  and 
the  standards  of  the  Church.  I  there  committed 
myself  publicly  to  the  cause  of  holiness,  and  de- 
clared my  faith  in  the  all-cleansing  blood. 

After  my  return-  home  I  began  to  study  the  dif- 
ferent phases  of  the  experience  as  manifested  in  the 
various  temperaments  and  idiosyncrasies  of  those 
who  enjoyed  the  blessing.  I  resolved  not  only  to 
be  correct  theologically,  but  I  was  determined  to  be 
experimentally  and  practically  so.  I  gave  myself 
wholly  to  God  ;  I  utterly  abandoned  every  thing 
that  was  doubtful  ;  I  put  entirely  away  the  very 
appearance  of  evil,  and  resolved  to  know  and  to 
please  God. 

I  knew  that  I  could  not  reason  myself  into  a  clean 
heart ;  but  I  also  knew  that  my  heavenly  Father  re- 
quired me  ''  To  sanctify  the  Lord  God  in  my  heart, 
and  be  ready  to  give  an  answer  to  every  man  that 
asked,  a  reason  for  the  hope  that  is  in  me,  in  meek- 


REV.  WILLIAM   JONES,  D.D.  20I 

ness  and  in  fear."  I  soon  found  that  by  a  careful 
adjustment  of  myself  to  Christ,  "  th^  vine,"  and  a 
continuous  exercise  of  my  will  to  keep  this  relation 
unembarrassed,  I  grew  in  grace  daily.  My  strength 
was  enlarged,  the  witness  of  the  Spirit  to  my 
cleansing  became  very  distinct,  and  my  soul  was 
exceedingly  sensitive  to  the  approach  of  evil  in  any 
form. 

About  ten  months  of  this  continuous  life  of  obe- 
dience brought  me  out  into  a  large  place.  And  in 
April,  1874,  while  assisting  Rev.  I.  N.  Smith,  of  the 
Central  Ohio  Conference,  in  a  holiness  meeting,  I 
received  a  special  manifestation  of  the  Spirit  that 
far  exceeded  all  my  former  experiences.  My  whole 
being  was  perrneated  with  the  divine  presence.  My 
soul  was  sublimated,  and  Christ  in  his  divine  per- 
sonality was  revealed  in  wondrous  power  by  the 
Holy  Ghost.  He  appeared  visibly  before  my  con- 
sciousness, and  for  months  he  was  "  The  man  from 
glory  standing  by  my  right  side." 

Thirteen  years  have  passed  away  since  then,  years 
of  intense  labor  and  glorious  victory  ;  years  of  severe 
trial  and  gracious  deliverance.  I  have  frequently 
encountered  the  same  spirit  that  consigned  John 
Huss  to  the  flames;  have  gone  over  on  my  knees 
where  "  There  was  a  sharp  rock  on  that  side  and 
a  sharp  rock  on  this  side  ;  "  but  have  been  enabled 
to  say  with  the  apostle,  "  Now  thanks  be  unto  God 
who   always   causeth    us   to  triumph   in  Christ,  and 


202  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

maketh  manifest  the  savor  of  his  knowledge  by  us 
in  every  place." 

There  have  been  periods  of  fluctuation  ;  there 
have  been  two  periods  of  short  duration  of  hesitancy, 
in  which  I  swerved,  in  which  I  lost  ground  to  some 
extent.  I  did  not  incur  guilt,  did  not  contract  any 
moral  pollution,  but  was  conscious  that  I  had  in 
some  degree  lost  my  aggressive  power. 

The  causes  that  led  to  these  weaknesses  may  be  all 
embraced  in  the  term  carelessness.  My  will  lost 
something  of  its  tenacity  of  purpose  :  my  faith  re- 
linquished its  positive  grasp  on  Jesus,  and  selthood, 
in  one  form  or  another,  began  to  assume  dominion. 
But  these  periods  were  of  short  duration.  For 
nearly  fifteen  years  I  have  been  a  loyal  citizen  of 
the  "  Land  of  Beulah."  During  these  years  my 
soul  has  grown  strong  in  fellowship  with  Jesus.  I 
am  still  in  the  land,  far  out  toward  the  interior.  I 
ascend  the  mountain  heights  of  this  wonderful  land, 
I  wander  through  its  valleys;  I  breathe  its  perfumed 
and  exhilarating  atmosphere;  I  feed  upon  its  grains 
and  fruits ;  I  inhale  the  fragrance  that  floats  down 
from  its  **  Mountains  of  Myrrh."  And  some  day 
from  one  of  its  purple-clouded  hills  I  shall  step 
through  the  misty  veil  into  the  upper  temple. 

WILLIAM  JONES. 
Kansas  City,  Mo.,  Sept.  6,  1887. 


MARY   SPARKES   WHEELER.  203 


XXVII. 

MARY   SPARKES  WHEELER. 

« 

(METHODIST.) 

iWAS  born  in  England,  June  21,  1835.  At  the 
age  of  six  years  I  came  with  my  family  to 
America.  My  parents  were  devoted  Christians, 
and  spared  no  pains  to  train  me  up  in  the  nurture 
and  admonition  of  the  Lord. 

Since  my  earliest  recollection  I  have  never  passed 
a  day  without  prayer,  but  it  was  not  always  the 
prayer  of  faith  that  brought  salvation,  for  I  often 
felt  the  burden  of  sin  and  condemnation  on  my 
heart. 

When  eight  years  of  age  I  was  once  playing 
''  class-meeting "  during  recess  at  school.  I  was 
leader.  All  passed  off  joyfully  until  a  little  girl 
younger  than  myself  arose  to  speak.  She  seemed 
to  take  the  matter  all  in  earnest,  and  said  with 
trembling  voice,  as  the  tears  rolled  down  her 
cheeks,  "  I  am  not  as  good  as  I  ought  to  be.  I 
sometimes  do  wrong  and  disobey  my  mamma. 
Pray  for  me,  that  I  may  be  forgiven."  Suddenly 
my  own  heart  began  to  ache.     I  thought,  "  If  that 


204  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

little  innocent  girl  needs  pardon  how  much  more 
do  I  ! "  The  meeting  closed  and  I  started  for 
home.  When  I  supposed  myself  to  be  entirely 
out  of  sight  and  hearing  I  wept  aloud.  A  gentle- 
man, until  then  unobserved  by  me,  passed,  and 
said  in  pitying  tones,  ''  What's  the  matter,  little 
girl?"  I  made  no  reply.  I  did  not  stop  until  I 
reached  my  own  little  room,  and,  falling  upon  my 
knees,  with  a  broken  and  a  contrite  heart  I  prayed 
earnestly  for  pardon.     God  heard  my  prayer. 

"  He  spake  at  once  my  sins  forgiven 
And  gave  me  glory,  peace,  and  heaven." 

That  night,  young  as  I  was,  I  could  scarcely  sleep 
for  joy.  I  believe  I  was  then  converted,  and  had  I 
told  my  parents  and  availed  myself  of  the  counsel 
and  aid  they  would  so  gladly  have  given  I  might  have 
walked  in  the  light  from  that  time  until  the  pres- 
ent. But  I  did  not  understand  that  I  was  old 
enough  to  be  a  Christian  ;  did  not  hold  fast  where- 
unto  I  had  attained,  and  soon  relapsed  into  my 
former  state.  As  years  passed  I  drank  into  the 
spirit  of  the  world,  and  it  was  not  until  I  was 
fourteen  years  of  age  that  I  made  up  my  mind, 
after  a  great  struggle,  to  give  my  heart  to  Christ 
and  become  a  Christian.  In  the  year  1848  I  was 
powerfully  convicted  of  sin.  I  tried  to  quench 
the  Spirit.  I  was  away  from  home,  attending 
school,   but    my    heart   was  so   overwhelmed   with 


MARY    SPARKES    WHEELER.  205 

a  sense  of  my  sins  and  my  need  of  a  Saviour  that  I 
could  neither  eat  nor  sleep.  One  day  I  tried  in 
vain  to  commit  my  lessons  to  memory,  and  asked 
the  teacher  to  excuse  me.  I  went  to  my  seat  and 
with  my  head  in  my  hands,  entirely  oblivious  to 
all  that  was  passing  around  me,  I  promised  God  if 
he  would  spare  me  until  a  certain  quarterly  meet- 
ing, w^hich  was  to  be  held  some  miles  away,  in 
about  six  months  from  that  time,  I  would  attend  it 
and  there  seek  Christ.  My  heart  grew  calm  and  I 
pursued  my  studies  without  anxiety  until  the  Fri- 
day preceding  the  meeting.  Then  came  a  great 
conflict  with  the  adversary.  I  thought,  "■  To-mor- 
row I  am  to  seek  God."  The  tempter  said,  ''You 
are  too  young  to  begin  now!  All  the  other  stu- 
dents, with  few  exceptions,  are  attending  dancing- 
school,  getting  ready  to  enjoy  life.  You  are  cutting 
yourself  off  from  all  that  is  desirable  in  the  future." 

*'  But  I  promised  God,  and  I  must ! " 

''  You  cannot,  because  you  have  no  feeling  now ! 
You  must  wait  until  you  feel  as  deeply  as  before." 

**  I  promised  I  would  wait  no  longer,  and  I  must 
seek  nowT 

Thus  the  controversy  continued  until  my  head 
began  to  ache.  Wishing  in  some  way  to  calm  my 
troubled  mind  I  took  a  magazine  from  the  shelf, 
intending  for  a  time  to  change  the  subject  by  read- 
ing some  entertaining  story.  I  opened  it,  and  the 
first  words  my  eye  rested  upon  were  these : 


206  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

"  If  now  you're  convinced.  O  yield  to  conviction  ! 

Resolve  to  be  God's  in  the  strength  of  his  grace, 
E'en  now  he  beholds  you  with  tender  affection 

And  you  as  his  child  he  longs  to  embrace." 

Affrighted  I  threw  the  book  from  me.  A  trem- 
bhng  seized  me,  I  fell  upon  my  knees  and  said,  "O, 
Lord,  it  is  enough  !  I  will  keep  my  promise.  I  will 
attend  the  meeting  and  acknowledge  myself  a 
seeker."  I  did  so.  When  at  the  close  of  the  Sat- 
urday evening  meeting  the  presiding  elder  asked 
those  who  desired  to  become  Christians  to  arise  I 
arose  alone  in  the  great  congregation.  I  was  so 
young  that  my  rising  attracted  no  attention  and 
called  forth  no  remark  or  prayer,  but  when  I 
reached  my  place  of  entertainment,  in  company 
with  my  own  pastor's  wife,  she  proposed  prayer  for 
me,  and  herself  offered  a  fervent  petition  for  the 
**  dear  child  who  had  resolved  to  '  remember  now 
her  Creator  in  the  days  of  her  youth.'  " 

I  did  not  experience  any  change  in  my  mind 
during  the  meetings  that  followed,  and  returned  on 
Monday  morning  disheartened,  disappointed.  Now 
the  enemy  renewed  his  attack,  and  said,  *'You  put 
it  off  too  long,  and  God  has  turned  away  from  you, 
for  is  it  not  written,  *  Because  I  have  called  and  ye 
have  refused,  I  have  stretched  out  my  hand  and 
no  man  regarded,  I  also  will  laugh  at  your  calam- 
ity and  mock  when  your  fear  cometh  ;  then  shall 
they  seek  me  early  but  shall  not  find  me  ?  '  "    Nearly 


MARY    SPARKES   WHEELER.  20/ 

a  week    passed   away,   bringing    no    relief    to    my 

heart,  but  I   deternnined  that   I  would   never  cease 

seeking  until  I  found  Christ. 

Desiring   uninterrupted  communion  with  God  I 

entered  a  little  grove   near  by,  and,  kneeling  by  a 

moss-covered    log,  I   prayed   earnestly   for  pardon. 

I  tried  to  repeat  God's  promises  to  penitents,  and 

while  thus   engaged   hope   sprang  up  in  my  heart, 

and  I  began  to  believe  that  mercy  could  reach  even 

me,  and  amid  my  tears  I  said, 

"  Here,  Lord,  I  give  myself  away  ! 
'Tis  all  that  I  can  do." 

The  burden  of  condemnation  rolled  away,  and  I 
was  freely  pardoned.  When  I  reached  home  the 
sun  was  gilding  the  west  with  radiance  and  glory; 
so  the  Sun  of  my  soul  seemed  to  be  flooding  my 
heart  with  light  and  peace.  It  was  not  a  raptur- 
ous joy,  but  peace  like  a  river,  continually  growing 
wider  and  deeper.  My  experience  was  clear  and 
definite.  I  knew  that  I  had  passed  from  death 
unto  life,  and  the  joy  this  blessed  assurance  gives 
dwelt  in  my  soul  continually.  I  continued  to  walk 
in  the  light.  I  had  an  ardent  desire  to  live  a 
deeply  spiritual  life.  To  be  merely  an  ''  accepta- 
ble member  of  the  Church  "  was  not  enough.  I 
resolved  that  I  would  take  for  my  motto  this  verse, 

"Be  as  holy  and  as  happy 

And  as  useful  here  below, 
As  it  is  your  Father's  pleasure — 

Jesus,  07ily  Jesus  know." 


208  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

I  did  grow  in  grace,  but  the  progress  I  made 
seemed  very  slow  and  unsatisfactory.  1  was  con- 
stantly struggling  against  inbred  sin.  The  carnal 
mind  would  assert  itself,  and  with  tears  and  self- 
abasement  I  was  often  led  to  cry,  "  I  am  carnal, 
sold  under  sin."  ''For  I  know  that  in  me,  that  is, 
in  my  flesh,  dwelleth  no  good  thing,  for  to  will  is 
present  with  me,  but  how  to  perform  that  which  is 
good  I  find  not."  "  For  the  good  that  I  would,  I 
do  not,  but  the  evil  which  I  would  not,  that  I  do." 
"  Now  if  I  do  that  I  would  not,  it  is  no  more  I  that 
do  it,  but  sin  that  dwelleth  in  me.''  I  resolved  in 
the  strength  of  grace  that  I  would  be  made  "free 
from  the  law  of  sin  and  death."  I  said,  "O  Jesus! 
if  thou  canst  do  the  work,  let  it  be  done  quickly, 
instantaneously!  "  And  I  began  to  seek  earnestly 
for  entire  sanctification. 

Time  would  fail  me  in  telling  of  the  conflicts  with 
the  powers  of  darkness,  the  struggles  of  my  soul  in 
trying,  in  some  way,  to  free  itself  from  the  body  of 
this  death,  before  sin  and  self  were  abandoned  and 
the  heart  was  unconditionally  surrendered  to  Christ. 
I  sought  earnestly  for  months.  My  anxiety  was  so 
great  that  at  times  I  was  almost  overwhelmed. 
My  conviction  was  much  deeper  than  that  preced- 
ing conversion.  I  wept,  fasted,  prayed,  conse- 
crated and  humbled  myself  before  the  Lord  over 
and  over  again.  I  would  have  given  life  itself  to 
have  secured  the  blessing.    Often  amid  tears  I  sang, 


MARY    SPxVRKES   WHEELER.  209 

"  I  thirst,  thou  wounded  Lamb  of  God, 
To  wash  me  in  thy  cleansing  blood. 

To  dwell  within  thy  wounds,  then  pain 
Is  sweet,  or  life,  or  death  is  gain." 

Blessed  be  God,  the  fountain  was  open  !  Christ  was 
more  wilhng  to  bestow  than  I  was  to  receive,  but  I 
did  not  understand  the  way  of  faith.  I  was  young, 
less  than  sixteen  years  of  .age,  had  never  heard  a 
sermon  on  the  subject,  had  read  but  little  ;  did  not 
know  where  to  procure  the  helps  I  needed.  I 
reversed  God's  order.  I  said  I  must  feel  that  the 
work  is  done  before  I  believe  it.  To  be  sanctified 
wholly  is  a  great  blessing,  and  my  joy  must  be  cor- 
respondingly great,  and  until  I  have  a  joy  unspeak- 
able and  full  of  glory  I  will  not  believe.  Thus  I 
lingered,  and  could  not  enter  in  because  of  unbe- 
lief. At  times  I  was  tempted  to  regret  that  I  had 
ever  heard  of  the  doctrine,  for  before  this  I  was 
happy  in  the  enjoyment  of  justifying  .grace.  Now 
I  had  come  up  to  the  Red  Sea  of  difficulty.  I  had 
received  the  command,  "  Go  forward  !  "  To  retreat 
must  be  spiritual  death.  How  to  go  forward  I  did 
not  know.  But  the  God  who  divided  the  Red  Sea 
opened  the  way  for  me  also.  One  day  I  went  to  a 
prayer-meeting,  hoping  to  hear  something  on  the 
subject  that  would  bring  relief  to  my  mind,  but  was 
disappointed.  As  I  was  returning  home,  bearing  on 
my  heart  a  burden  that  seemed  unendurable,  I  prayed 
earnestly  to  God  for  help.     While  passing  a  house, 

a  lady  with  whom  I  was  only  slightly  acquainted,  and 
14 


2IO  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

who  knew  nothing  of  the  state  of  my  mind,  called  to 
me,  saying,  "  I  have  a  little  book  here  which  perhaps 
you  may  like  to  read."  ''  What  is  it  ?  "  I  eagerly  in- 
quired. *'  I  do  not  know,"  she  replied  ;  "  I  have  not 
read  it ;  but  1  know  it  is  good  because  my  friend, 
Mrs.  A.,  who  lives  in  New  York,  sent  it  to  me  ;  and 
just  as  you  came  in  sight  the  thought  occurred  to 
me  that  you  had  so  much  more  leisure  than  I  it 
would  be  well  for  you  to  read  it  first."  I  opened 
the  book.  It  was  entitled  A  Present  to  My  Christian 
Friend,  by  Mrs.  Phoebe  Palmer.  In  it  the  author  beau- 
tifully describes  the  way  of  faith.  I  went  to  my  room, 
and,  falling  upon  my  knees  before  God,  I  read  every 
word  before  rising.  O  what  a  feast  to  my  hungry 
soul !  Every  question  that  had  perplexed  me  w^as 
satisfactorily  answered,  every  difficulty  removed. 
Presenting  myself  to  Christ  was  such  a  reasonable 
sacrifice,  and  after  doing  this  it  was  so  easy  to 
reckon  myself  dead  indeed  unto  sin  and  alive  unto 
God.  If  an  angel  had  come  down  from  heaven  and 
handed  me  the  book  I  could  not  have  believed 
more  fully  that  God  sent  it  to  me.  Now  the  mys- 
tery vanished  and  the  simplicity  of  faith  amazed  me, 
and  in  the  calmness  of  that  hour  I  took  Jesus  as  my 
complete  Saviour  from  all  sin.  There  was  no  rap- 
turous joy,  but  the  burden  was  gone.  The  "man 
of  sin  "  was  cast  out,  and  Christ  had  entire  posses- 
sion, while  a  peace  which  passeth  all  understanding 
seemed  to  permeate  my  entire  being. 


MARY   SPARKES   WHEELER.  211 

That  night  I  dreamed  that  in  company  with  a 
friend,  who  had  a  few  weeks  before  entered  into 
this  perfect  peace,  I  was  walking  on  a  narrow  strip 
of  land  '^  'twixt  two  unbounded  seas,"  when  sud- 
denly a  cyclone  or  storm  'of  wind  arose.  I  looked  at 
my  friend.  It  did  not  disturb  her — did  not  even 
move  the  folds  of  her  dress — while  I  was  powerless 
before  it.  It  lifted  me  from  the  earth  and  was  bear- 
ing me  out  to  the  ocean.  I  caught  hold  of  the 
branches  of  a  tree  that  overhung  the  water,  but 
they  began  to  bend  and  break.  I  thought,  ''  I  shall 
surely  be  drowned  in  the  depths  of  the  sea."  In 
my  anguish  I  cried,  ''  Lord,  increase  my  faith ! 
Lord,  increase  my  faith  !  "  Immediately  the  branches 
broke,  but  instead  of  sinking  I  began  to  rise,  and 
with  nothing  but  the  ocean  beneath  me  and  the 
sky  above  me  I  floated  outward  and  upward  nearer 
and  nearer  to  God,  while  my  soul  was  filled  with 
ineffable  glory.  In  a  few  moments  I  was  awak- 
ened by  my  now  sainted  mother,  who  said:  "What 
is  the  matter?  Do  you  know  you  were  making  a 
noise?  You  were  shouting  Glory!  at  the  top  of 
your  voice."  "  It  was  only  a  dream,  dear  mother ; 
but  God  has  been  teaching  me  wondrously  to-day, 
and  to-night  he  is  teaching  me  to  let  go  of  every 
earthly  support  and  by  simple  faith  alone  launch 
out  into  the  ocean  of  God's  infinite  love." 

I  rested  here  for  about  two  weeks,  when  one  day 
the  Holy  Spirit  whispered :  "  '  They  overcame  by 


212  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

the  blood  of  the  Lamb  and  the  word  of  their  testi- 
mony.' You  have  beheved  and  received,  now  con- 
fess him."  The  enemy  said  :  "  Will  you  dare  profess 
that  you  are  perfect  in  love  when  you  have  no  evi- 
dence, only  the  word  ?  "  I  said  :  "  Yes  !  I  know, 
by  faith  I  know.  God's  word  is  more  reliable  than 
my  emotions  ;  when  I  have  a  favorable  opportunity 
I  will  tell  to  the  glory  of  God  what  he  has  done 
for  me."  A  few  days  after,  while  seated  at  the 
tea-table  with  a  company  of  Christians,  a  clergyman 
said  to  me  :  "  My  young  sister,  have  you  ever  reached 
the  point  where  you  felt  that  you  could  claim  Christ 
as  your  Saviour  from  all  sin?  Do  you  love  God 
supremely?"  I  replied:  "I  trust  I  have.  I  hope 
I  do."  Instantly  the  Spirit  seemed  to  say:  "That 
is  not  faith.  That  is  not  definite.  That  does  not 
glorify  me.  You  said  you  knew  by  faith.  Tell 
them  so."  I  said  so  loud  that  all  could  hear,  "  Yes, 
I  know  that  Jesus  saves  me  from  all  sin.  I  do 
love  God  with  all  my  heart."  No  sooner  had  I 
uttered  the  words  than  I  felt  a  strength  and 
power  imparted  that  I  had  never  before  experi- 
enced. That  evening  the  pastor  called  upon  me 
to  pray  audibly,  and  while  lifting  my  heart  to 
Christ  the  Holy  Ghost  fell  upon  me,  and  I  was 
lost  in  "  wonder,  love,  and  praise." 

For  months  that  followed  I  seemed  to  be  in  a 
new  world.  The  whole  earth  seemed  illumined 
with    divine    light.      The    very  air    seemed    laden 


MARY    SPARKES   WHEELER.  21 3 

with  the  breath  of  God  and  the  perfumes  of  Para- 
dise. What  sympathy  was  there  between  my  divine 
Lord  and  myself!  How  heartily  I  entered  into  all 
his  plans  for  the  evangelization  of  the  world  and 
the  conversion  of  sinners!  How  my  heart  yearned 
with  unutterable  longings  for  the  sanctification  of 
believers  and  for  the  baptism  of  fire  to  fall  upon 
the  entire  Church  of  God  !  O  what  humility  was 
mine,  what  self-abnegation,  what  a  sinking  into 
Christ  I  And  when  the  Angel  of  the  Covenant 
touched  my  lips  with  living  fire  what  a  change 
was  wrought  in  me !  I,  who  had  ever  been  afraid 
of  the  sound  of  my  own  voice,  so  timid,  so  shrink- 
ing, who  had  felt  myself  to  be  weakness  personified, 
was  now  upheld  by  Omnipotent  power! 

The  word  of  the  Lord  was  like  fire  shut  up  in 
my  bones.  I  was  weary  with  refraining,  and  to 
every  call  of  the  Spirit  I  responded,  **  Here  am  I, 
Lord,  send  me  I  " 

I  would  mention  some  of  my  difficulties  and 
triumphs  in  becoming  established  in  holiness. 
With  humiliation  I  recall  many  lapses,  with  grati- 
tude the  forbearance  and  long-suffering  of  the 
Holy  Spirit.  The  lapses  came  in  neglecting  to 
testify  to  this  saving  grace.  In  my  earlier  expe- 
rience the  enemy  suggested  that  as  so  many  in 
the  church  were  older  and  wiser  and  richer  in 
Christian  graces  than  myself,  at  whose  feet  I  could 
sit   and    learn   of  Jesus,  and  they  did  not  profess 


214  FORTY   WITNESSES. 

this  blessing,  therefore  it  would  be  immodest  for 
me  to  say  much  about  it;  that  I  could  live  it,  and 
the  life  would  testify  sufficiently  without  words. 
As  often  as  I  yielded  to  this  suggestion  I  lost 
ground  and  in  a  measure  was  shorn  of  my  strength  ; 
and  I  have  learned  by  experience  that  I  must  not 
only  believe  in  my  heart,  but  also  confess  with  my 
mouth  this  uttermost  salvation.  Many  years  have 
passed  since  I  entered  this  blessed  ''  Beulah  land." 
God  has  kept  me  by  his  power,  not  stationary,  but 
constantly  advancing  from  grace  to  grace,  and  from 
glory  to  glory,  until  often  in  amazement  my  soul 
cries  out,  "  My  Lord  and  my  God ! " 

"  Like  a  river  glorious 

Is  God's  perfect  peace. 
Over  all  victorious 

In  its  bright  increase. 
Perfect — yet  it  floweth 

Fuller  every  day ; 
Perfect — yet  it  groweth 

Deeper  all  the  way." 

MARY  SPARKES  WHEELER. 
Philadelphia,  Pa.,  September  21,  1887. 


LUCRETIA  A.    CULLIS.  21$ 


XXVIII. 

LUCRETIA  A.  CULLIS. 

T  HAD  a  light-hearted  child-Hfe,  and  never  thought 
^  of  being  rehgious.  In  my  eleventh  year,  in  the 
Congregational  Church,  where  my  father  and  mother 
worshiped,  I  listened  to  the  earnest  presentation  of 
gospel  truths  by  Dr.  E.  N.  Kirk.  The  sense  of  sin 
was  awakened.  One  night  I  had  gone  to  bed,  but 
the  weight  of  my  sin  I  could  not  bear.  I  jumped 
up,  sought  my  mother's  bedside,  and  with  sobs  and 
tears  besought  her  to  pray  for  me.  Kneeling  there 
together  the  answer  came.  I  arose  "  in  the  light." 
In  the  sweet  relief  of  sins  forgiven  I  quietly  slept. 
Sad  to  say,  those  were  the  days  when  little  or  no 
help  was  given  the  child-convert.  I  know  the  mat- 
ter was  discussed  of  joining  the  Church,  but  put 
aside  as  not  suitable  for  one  so  young.  Thus  my 
early  ardor  soon  burned  itself  out  after  a  few  little 
prayer-meetings  which  I  called  among  my  childish 
friends. 

I  soon  began  to  see  inconsistencies  in  those  about 
me  who  called  themselves  Christians  and  were  ac- 
cepted by  the  Church.  This  practice  increased  as 
I  soon  after  entered  the  family  of  a  loved  aunt  and 


2l6  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

uncle  who  were  childless,  and  held  me  as  their  own. 
These  were  the  years  of  antislavery  conflict.  My 
relatives  had  been  excommunicated  from  the  ortho- 
dox Congregational  Church  on  account  of  their  out- 
spoken sympathy  with  the  slaves.  So  ardent  was 
their  adherence  to  their  great  champion,  William 
Lloyd  Garrison,  that  with  him  their  hearts  revolted 
from  the  teachings  of  the  Church,  and  from  the 
Bible  that  was  made  the  bulwark  of  slavery.  My 
mind  worked  something  in  this  way,  "  How  is  it 
that  I  see  in  these  who  regard  not  the  Church  or 
the  Bible,  such  strong  and  active  sympathy  for  the 
suffering  and  oppressed,  just  as  Jesus  preached  and 
lived,  while  others,  who  are  so  stanch  for  the  Church 
and  its  requirements,  seem  dead  to  these  Christ-like 
demands?"  Thus  I  puzzled  and  quietly  asked  my- 
self, "  What  is  truth?  "  declaring  at  the  same  time, 
"If  ever  I  am  a  Christian  I  will  be  a  real  one." 
Overlying  these  depths  was  a  love  of  gay  society, 
and  dawning  womanhood  found  me  still  unsettled 
and  questioning.  I  must  not  omit  here  that  during 
all  these  passing  years  I  attended  Sabbath-school  at 
the  Congregational  Church,  as  it  was  my  mother's 
wish.     I  am  sure  it  was  due  to  the  teachincr  of  two 

o 

faithful,  devoted  women,  that  the  early  call  to  Christ 
was  not  swallowed  up  in  the  maze  of  worldliness  and 
unreality,  from  which  the  religion  of  antislavery 
was  not  powerful  enough  to  keep.  I  very  briefly 
pass  over  the  years  that   introduced    me  to  a   life 


LUCRETIA   A.   CULLIS.  21/ 

of  intense  joy  and  satisfaction  in  all  that  the 
senses  can  crave,  of  the  sudden  and  bitter  grief  that 
plunged  me  into  utter  darkness,  and  tell  only  of  the 
supreme  moment  when  God's  infinite  love  pierced 
that  darkness,  and  a  heart  utterly  broken  and  help- 
less, alone  in  a  foreign  land,  heard  the  long-neglected 
call  of  the  patient,  loving  Christ,  and  responded 
without  a  thought  of  self,  "  Now,  Lord,  I  will  live 
for  Thee  !  "  Then  followed  a  long  and  lonely  voy- 
age, a  freed  soul  chained  to  a  weary,  helpless  body, 
but  "  bearing  all  things,  hoping  all  things,"  for  the 
love  of  Christ. 

With  the  return  to  home  and  friends  came  blessed 
work  for  Jesus,  and,  without  knowing  the  gospel  of 
healing  for  the  body,  life  was  a  continual  testimony 
to  the  "  quickening  of  the  mortal  body "  by  the 
**  Holy  Ghost  that  dwelleth  in  you." 

To  read  that  "  In  the  last  days,  saith  God,  I  will 
pour  out  my  Spirit  upon  all  flesh,  and  your  sons  and 
your  daughters  shall  prophesy  ..."  became  to 
my  soul  an  immediate  possession,  my  entire  being 
responded  to  its  power,  for  "  out  of  the  depths  " 
had  I  cried,  ''  My  God,  I  will  live  for  thee  !  " 

"  The  victory  that  overcometh  "  seemed  easy,  it 
became  a  testimony  that  could  not  be  withheld, 
and,  woman  that  I  was,  with  the  Church  traditions 
my  birthright,  there  was  a  fire  within  that  all  the 
cold  water  without  could  not  quench  ;  and,  diffident 
as  any  real  woman  must  be,  I   yet  sought  a  church 


2l8  FORTY    WITNESSES. 

where  free  vent  could  be  given  to  the  pent-up  Holy 
Ghost,  or  I  must  cry,  *'  Against  thee,  thee  only,  have 
I  sinned  !  "  Little  by  little,  God  in  his  goodness  led 
me  to  know  little  companies  where  his  ''  Spirit  had 
free  course,"  and  finally  into  that  large  place  where 
my  husband  and  I  have  walked  these  twenty  years 
in  the  "  work  of  faith,"  knowing  God's  faithfulness 
to  answer  prayer,  to  deliver  from  temptation,  to 
keep  from  evil,  to  preserve  unto  his  heavenly  king- 
dom, to  make  his  service  a  rest,  a  joy  ;  w^here  we 
are  not  continually  digging  up  our  hearts  to  see 
what  roots  are  there,  but  sure  that  he  who  has 
*'  planted  us  in  the  likeness  of  his  resurrection  "  is 
attending  to  the  "  growing  up  into  him,"  '*  unto  the 
measure  of  the  fullness  of  the  stature  of  Christ." 

It  has  become  the  normal  condition  to  "  be  care- 
ful for  nothing,  but  in  every  thing,  by  prayer  and 
supplication,  with  thanksgiving,  to  let  our  requests 
be  made  known  unto  God,  and  the  peace  of  God 
doth  keep.  ..." 

In  the  years  before  my  faith  became  really  active, 
in  all  time  of  need  my  Bible  was  not  an  unused 
book ;  its  words  were  food  to  my  soul,  many  of  w^hich 
were  stored  in  my  memory,  and  I  am  positive  that 
God  was  watering  that  which  was  of  his  own  plant- 
ing, so  that  in  the  harvest-time  of  my  sorrow,  like 
goodly  fruit  the  promises  fell  from  the  bough  of 
the  Tree  of  Life  at  the  lightest  real  touch  of  faith. 
There  was  no  digging  necessary  then  ;  the  sub-soil 


LUCRETIA   A.   CULLIS.  219 

was  laid  bare,  and  quickly  the. Word  became  ''  spirit 
and  life,"  the  seal  of  the  divine  union.  Thus  is 
explained  the  easy  natural  reception  of  ''  The 
Promise  of  the  Father." 

As  I  afterward  came  to  know,  my  union  with 
Christ  was  only  kept  unbroken  as,  by  a  momen- 
tary faith,  I  reckoned  myself  ''  dead  unto  sin  and 
alive  unto  God."  Not  a  passive,  but  an  active 
faith,  that  heeds  the  injunction,  to  "  watch  and 
pray  lest  ye  enter  into  temptation,"  so  abiding  in 
Him  that  the  life  of  Christ  is  renewed  day  by  day. 
This  is  no  life  of  constraint,  or  anxious  care,  but 
a  rest  in  his  love.  The  bridegroom  of  my  soul  hath 
brought  me  to  his  banqueting  house,  and  his  ban- 
ner over  me  is  love.  My  heart  is  his  kingdom,  and 
my  eyes  are  unto  him. 

''  Be  not  thou  therefore  ashamed  of  the  testimony 
of  our  Lord,  nor  of  me,  his  prisoner  ;  but  be  thou 
partaker  of  the  afflictions  of  the  Gospel  according 
to  the  power  of  God  ;  who  hath  saved  us,  and  called 
us  with  an  holy  calling,  not  according  to  our  works, 
but  according  to  his  own  purpose  and  grace,  which 
was  given  us  in  Christ  Jesus  before  the  world  be- 
gan."— 2  Tim.  I.  8,  9. 

LUCRETIA  A.  CULLIS. 

Beacon  Hill  Place,  Boston,  Mass.,  Aug.  16,  1887. 


220  FORTY   WITNESSES. 


XXIX. 

CHARLES  CULLIS,   M.D. 

T  WAS  brought  up  in  a  very  respectable  church, 
^  and  knew  nothing  about  conversion.  At  about 
the  age  of  seventeen  I  felt  that  I  ought  to  be  a 
Christian.  How,  I  did  not  know.  Nobody  told 
me.  I  supposed  the  only  way  would  be  to  read  the 
Bible  and  pray,  and  I  went  at  it.  When  I  was  con- 
verted I  do  not  know,  but  I  am  very  sure  I  was.  I 
don't  know  the  date,  for  there  was  no  particular 
sensation  or  emotion  to  mark  it.  Some  four  or  five 
years  after  that  I  met  with  a  great  sorrow,  and  I 
consecrated  myself  wholly  to  God.  Soon  after  I 
thought  about  doing  something  for  the  Master,  and 
it  came  about,  in  answer  to  prayer,  in  the  establish- 
ment of  a  Consumptives'  Home  and  other  insti- 
tutions. My  thought  then  was  how  to  conduct 
this  work — whether  or  not  I  should  beg.  The 
promises  of  God  were  brought  very  forcibly  to 
my  mind  as  to  whether  they  were  true  or  not.  I 
puzzled  over  them  for  a  few  days,  and  the  more  I  puz- 
zled and  thought  the  more  doubt  began  to  come  in, 
until  one  day  I  took  my  Bible  between  my  two 
hands,  and,  holding  it  up,  in  my  room  alone,  I  said. 


CHARLES   CULLIS,    M.D.  221 

"  I  will  believe  every  word  inside  of  these  two 
covers  whether  I  understand  it  or  not." 

From  that  moment  to  this  I  have  never  had  the 
least  shadow  of  doubt  of  the  truth  of  God's  word, 
and  have  acted  upon  the  promises  and  lived  ac- 
cording to  them  for  nearly  twenty-five  years. 

This  was  my  justified  state,  in  which  I  found  a 
good  deal  of  comfort ;  but  how  should  I  get  rid  of 
the  natural  temperament,  and  the  failing,  which  was 
a  great  one  with  me,  of  getting  irritated  over  very 
little  things,  and  then  getting  vexed  with  myself 
because  I  did  get  irritated  !  I  had  spent  hours  and 
hours  upon  my  knees,  with  tears  running  down  my 
cheeks,  praying  that  the  Lord  would  help  me  to 
overcome  this  ;  but  he  did  not. 

One  day,  in  prayer,  the  Lord's  Prayer  came  home 
to  me  very  blessedly  by  the  Spirit,  in  its  closing 
sentences,  ''  Thine  is  the  kingdom,  and  the  power, 
and  the  glory."  It  flashed  through  my  soul  in  a 
moment,  "  Thine  is  the  power,  and.  Lord,  I  have 
been  asking  thee  to  help  me  to  overcome  this; 
thine  is  the  power  to  do  it  all ;  "  and  with  joy  un- 
speakable in  my  soul  I  got  up  from  my  knees 
praising  God  for  victory.  Whether  this  was  my  re- 
ception of  sanctification  or  not  I  do  not  know.  It 
is  the  only  very  marked  experience  of  deliverance 
that  I  ever  had.  I  believe  that  years  ago  he  gave 
me  a  clean  heart  and  baptized  me  with  the  Holy 
Ghost.     There  have  been  occasional   slight  lapses 


222  FORTY   WITNESSES. 

through  weakness  of  faith,  but  the  light  has  been 
burning  steadily  from  that  day  to  this.  My  Saviour 
has  become  more  and  more  precious  to  me,  and  I 
am  conscious  that  the  blood  cleanseth,  and  the 
Holy  Ghost  abides. 

CHARLES  CULLIS. 
Boston,  Mass.,  Feb.  24,  1888. 


PART    SECOND. 


PROF.  ASA  MAHAN,  LL.D. 

(CONGREGATIONALIST.) 

J*^N  Sabbath,  November  9,  1884,  I  completed  the 
T  the  eighty-fifth  year  of  my  Hfe.  The  first 
seventeen  years  of  this  period  were  spent  in  the 
darkness  of  impenitency  and  sin,  a  state  rightly  rep- 
resented by  the  words  "  having  no  hope,  and  with- 
out God  in  the  world."  The  following  eighteen 
years  I  lived  and  walked  in  the  dim  twilight  of  that 
semi-faith  which  fully  knows  Christ  in  the  sphere  of 
"justification  by  faith,"  but  knows  almost  nothing 
of  him  in  the  sphere  of"  sanctification  by  faith,"  and 
is  absolutely  ignorant  of  him  in  the  promise,  "  he 
shall  baptize  you  with  the  Holy  Ghost  and  with 
fire."  During  the  subsequent  fifty  years  I  have 
found  grace  "  to  walk  with  God  "  in  that  sphere  of 
cloudless  sunlight  in  which  "  we  are  complete  in 
Christ,"  and  know  him  as  "  our  wisdom,  righteous- 
ness, sanctification  and  redemption  " — know  him 
not  only  as  "  the  Lamb  of  God  who  taketh  away 
the  sin  of  the  world,"  but  as  "  he  that  baptizeth 
with  the  Holy  Ghost,"  and  in  which,  consequently, 


224  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

"  God  is  our  everlasting  light,  and  the  days  of  our 
mourning  are  ended." 

I  am  distinctly  aware  of  the  fact  that  should  I,  in 
speaking  of  the  past,  use  a  single  word  or  sentence 
for  self-glorification,  I  should  grievously  offend  my 
God  and  Saviour,  and  in  a  corresponding  degree 
wrong  my  own  soul.  My  object  will  be  to  state 
merely  such  facts  and  characteristics  of  the  periods 
of  my  life  as  may  be  interesting  and  instructive  to 
the  reader. 

Here  permit  me  to  say,  in  general,  that  while  I  was 
in  public  regard  an  unexceptionably  moral  youth, 
no  individual  ever  did  or  ever  can  lead  a  more  god- 
less life  than  I  did.  I  never  in  a  single  instance, 
excepting  at  my  mother's  knee,  offered  a  prayer  to 
God  in  any  form.  I  never  entertained  or  expressed 
a  sentiment  of  thanksgiving  for  a  blessing  received, 
or  confessed  a  sin  to  my  God  ;  nor  did  I  ever  do  or 
avoid  doing  a  single  act  from  regard  to  his  will, 
favor  or  displeasure. 

Two  facts  peculiarized  my  natural  characteristics. 
On  one  side  my  nature  was  specially  tender  and 
sympathetic;  while,  on  the  other,  it  was  equally 
characterized  by  the  strongest  and  most  positive 
temperaments  and  propensities.  My  temper,  for 
example,  was  very  easily  excited,  and  when  I 
w^as  excited  I  was  utterly  reckless  of  all  con- 
sequences in  time  or  eternity,  and  of  any  pain 
that  might    be    inflicted    upon  me.      The   thought 


PROF.    ASA    MAHAN,    LL.D.  225 

of  that  temper  so  horrified  me,  while  alone 
in  my  father's  pasture,  at  the  age  of  ten  years,  that 
I  exclaimed  aloud,  "  This  temper  will  ruin  me  ! " 
From  my  early  years  the  principle  of  ambition  had 
continuous  and  absolute  control  over  my  daily" 
thoughts  and  all  my  plans  for  future  life.  I  would 
be  an  educated  man,  and  in  that  sphere  '' a  man  of 
renown."  Everywhere  I  openly  avowed  that  pur- 
pose and  made  it  a  leading  theme  of  conversation 
with  those  of  my  own  age  especially.  In  no  youth 
that  I  ever  knew  did  the  principles  of  pride  and  self- 
will,  the  latter  especially,  exist  with  such  strength  as 
in  myself.  A  more  restless  nature  no  one,  as  it  seems 
to  me,  ever  did  possess.  Those  facts  sufficiently  in- 
dicate my  natural  disposition  and  temperament. 
My  mother  once  called  me  to  her  and  said,  "  The 
neighbors  who  visited  here  yesterday  afternoon  had 
a  conversation  about  you.  They  all  agreed  that  if 
you  should  live  on  to  manhood  you  would  become 
a  very  good  or  a  very  bad  man.  There  would  be 
nothing  half-way  about  you." 

MY  CONVERSION,  AND  THE  SUCCEEDING  EIGHTEEN 
YEARS. 

Of  my  conversion,  I  may  say  of  a  truth  that  it 

was,  in  the  judgment  of  all  who  knew  me,  of  a  very 

marked  and  decisive  character,  being  followed  by  a 

visible   change  in  character  and    life,  such  as  w^as 

seldom  witnessed.     During  the  first  five  years  of  my 
15 


226  FORTY  WT  TNESSES. 

Christian  life  I  was  directly  instrumental  in  origi- 
nating four  important  revivals  of  religion — three  of 
these  occurring  in  the  schools  which  I  taught,  and 
these  where  no  \vork  of  grace  existed  within  hearing 
distance  around.  Nor  was  my  ministry  of  eight 
years*  continuance,  during  this  period,  a  fruitless 
one :  no  less,  I  suppose,  than  2,000  souls  being 
added  to  the  churches  through  my  instrumentality. 

MARKED   CHARACTERISTICS   OF   THE   FIRST  EIGHT- 
EEN  YEARS   OF   MY    CHRISTIAN    LIFE. 

1.  There  was  at  length,  notwithstanding  all  my 
prayers  and  efforts  to  the  contrary,  a  gradual  fading 
out  of  that  joy,  and  a  conscious  diminution  of  the 
ardency  of  that  love,  until  I  was  fully  at  home  in  the 
sentiment  of  the  hymn  : 

*'  Where  is  the  blessedness  I  knew 
When  first  I  saw  the  Lord  ? 

"What  peaceful  hours  I  once  enjoyed, 

How  sweet  their  memory  still ; 
But  they  have  left  an  aching  void 

The  world  can  never  fill." 

That  "  aching  void  "  remained  a  characteristic  of 
my  religious  life  up  to  the  close  of  the  period  now 
under  consideration. 

2.  Not  long  after  my  religious  life  commenced 
I  found,  to  my  great  sorrow  and  regret,  that  those 
sinful  propensities  which  had  held  absolute  control 


PROF.   ASA    MAHAN,    LL.D.  22/ 

over    me    during   the  era  of  my  impenitency  still 
existed,  and  when  temptation  arose  ''warred  in  my 
members  "  with  seeming  undiminished  strength,  and 
were  frequently  '*  bringing  me  into  captivity  to  the 
law  of   sin  which    was  in  my  members."     No  be- 
liever, as  it  seems  to  me,  ever  did  or  ever  can  strive 
more  resolutely  and  untiringly  than  I  did  to  subdue 
and  hold  in  subjection  his  evil  propensities,  or  made 
less   progress   to   effect   his   purpose    than    I    did. 
When    subject    to    strong    and    especially   sudden 
temptation    1   found  myself  not  more  than  a  con- 
queror,   but    a    groaning    captive.       For    eighteen 
years,  for  example,  I  maintained  a  most  determined 
war   upon    that   evil   temper;   yet,   when   suddenly 
provoked,  I   found   myself,  and  that  invariably,  be- 
trayed into  words  and  acts  of  which  I  would  have 
occasion  to  repent  and  confess  as  sins.     How  often 
did  I  exclaim,  '' O  wretched  man  that  I  am!  who 
shall    deliver  me  from  the    body  of  this  death?" 
Nor  did  my  struggles  and  most  determined  resolu- 
tions issue  in  any  seeming  increase  of  power  over 
these  propensities. 

3.  During  these  eighteen  years,  after  the  fading 
of  my  primal  joys,  I  was  from  time  to  time  troubled 
and  not  unfrequently  agonized  with  painful  doubts 
—doubts  about  my  standing  as  a  believer,  about  the 
truth  of  the  Gospel,  and  a  future  state  as  revealed 
in  the  same.  I  seemed  to  myself  to  be  among  the 
number  who  feared  the  Lord,  obeyed   the  voice  of 


228  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

his  servants,  and  yet  walked  in  darkness  and  had  no 
Hght. 

4.  As  far  as  the  inner  life  was  concerned,  I  seemed 
to  myself  to  be  making  no  progress.  I  did  consider- 
ably grow  in  knowledge,  and  in  power  as  a  preacher, 
but  the  light  within  did  not  brighten  on  toward  the 
perfect  day. 

5.  The  fear  and  dread  of  death,  which  had  thrown 
such  a  deep  gloom  over  my  impenitent  life,  con- 
tinued to  oppress  me  during  the  eighteen  years 
under  consideration,  rendering  my  ministerial  visi- 
tations to  the  sick  and  attendance  upon  funerals 
seasons  of  great  trial  and  pensiveness.  Thus  far 
^*  through  fear  of  death  I  had  all  my  life-time  been 
subject  to  bondage." 

6.  I  did  know  how  to  preach  the  Gospel  to  the 
impenitent,  to  lead  inquiring  sinners  unto  Christ  for 
the  pardon  of  sin  ;  and  I  could  also  "  preach  the 
doctrines  "  to  believers,  urge  them  to  faithfulness  in 
duty,  to  labor  and  pray  for  the  conversion  of  sinners, 
and  to  liberal  contributions  for  every  good  cause. 
In  all  these  respects  I  had  good  success  in  my 
sacred  calling ;  but  when  I  reflected  upon  such  pre- 
cepts and  utterances  as  the  following :  "  Feed  my 
sheep,"  "Comfort  ye  the  feeble-minded,  support 
the  weak,"  "  I  long  to  see  you,  that  I  may  impart 
to  you  some  spiritual  gift,  to  the  end  that  ye  may 
be  established,"  I  said  to  myself,  ''There  is  a  lack 
in    mc    of   essential    qualifications    for  the    highest 


PROF.    ASA    MAIIAX,    LL.D.  229 

functions  of  my  sacred  calling."  I  did  not  know 
how  to  conduct  religious  conversation  among  my 
people  ;  "  to  feed  the  flock  of  God." 

7.  I  saw  there  was  an  essential  defect  in  my  ex- 
perience and  character  as  a  Christian.  I  read  and 
prayerfully  pondered  such  passages  as  the  following; 
namely,  '*  The  water  I  shall  give  him  shall  be  in  him 
a  well  of  water  springing  up  into  everlasting  life;  " 
''  Thou  wilt  keep  him  in  perfect  peace  whose  mind 
is  stayed  on  thee,  because  he  trusteth  in  thee ;  " 
''  Whom  having  not  seen,  ye  love,  and  in  whom, 
though  now  ye  see  him  not,  yet  believing,  ye  rejoice 
with  joy  unspeakable  and  full  of  glory  ;  "  ''  In  all 
these  things  we  are  more  than  conquerors  through 
him  that  hath  loved  us,"  etc.  As  I  read  such  pas- 
sages I  said  to  myself,  "  My  experience  hardly 
approaches  that  which  is  here  revealed  as  the  com- 
mon privilege  of  all  the  saints."  In  the  secret  of  my 
own  spirit  I  said,  "  I  will  never  cease  inquiry  and 
prayer  until  '  God  shall  open  the  eyes  of  my  under- 
standing, that  I  may  know  the  things  which  are 
freely  given  us  of  God.'  "  After  some  years  of  most 
diligent  inquiry  and  prayer  my  eyes  were  opened, 
and  "  I  beheld  with  open  face,  as  in  a  glass,  the 
glory  of  the  Lord,"  and  "  knew  the  love  of  Christ, 
which  passeth  knowledge,"  and  merged  "  out  of 
darkness  into  God's  marvelous  light."  In  that 
light  I  have  lived  and  walked  for  the  past  fifty 
years. 


230  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

When  I  reflected,  as  I  often  did,  upon  this  up-and 
down  sinning  and  repenting  form  of  life  on  this 
lower  plane,  I  frequently  said  to  myself,  "  This  does 
indeed  seem  to  be  a  strange  kind  of  service  to  offer 
to  my  God  and  Redeemer.  I  know,  however,  of  no 
other  way  of  leading  a  religious  life  but  to  do  as  I 
am  doing — that  is,  renewing  a  broken  purpose  as 
often  as  broken,  and  after  every  fall  to  rise  up  and 
start  anew  with  the  same  purpose  as  before." 
When  a  sense  of  weariness  and  despondency  came 
over  me  in  view  of  the  facts  of  such  a  life,  I  often 
repeated  to  myself  the  words,  "  Faint,  yet  pursu- 
ing." 

During  all  those  years  such  passages  as  the  fol- 
lowing were  a  dead  letter  to  me :  passages  in  which 
"  the  very  God  of  peace  "  promises,  on  condition 
that  "  he  is  inquired  of  by  us  to  do  it  for  us,"  that 
he  will  himself  "  sprinkle  clean  water  upon  us,  and 
we  shall  be  clean  ;  "  that  "  he  will  turn  his  hand 
upon  us,  and  purely  purge  away  our  dross,  and  take 
away  all  our  sin  ;  "  that  he  will  "sanctify  us  wholly, 
and  preserve  our  whole  spirit  and  soul  and  body 
blameless  unto  the  coming  of  our  Lord  Jesus 
Christ." 

When  I  apprehended  that  he  was  just  as  able  to 
"sanctify  me  wholly"  as  to  justify  me  fully,  then, 
totally  renouncing  self  and  self-dependence,  I 
entered  upon  the  faith-life  in  its  true  and  proper 
form. 


PROF.    ASA    MAHAN,    LL.D.  23  I 

MY   FIFTY   YEARS'    WALK   WITH    GOD. 

And  here  permit  me  to  remark  that  there  has 
been  during  this  entire  period  a  total  disappearance 
of  all  those  painful  experiences  which  threw  such  a 
'*  disastrous  twilight  "  over  the  preceding  eighteen 
years  of  my  Christian  life.  The  peace  and  joy 
which,  as  an  unfailing  and  unfading  light,  have 
filled  and  occupied  these  past  fifty  years  have  so 
far  surpassed  and  eclipsed  the  "  peaceful  hours  en- 
joyed "  during  the  ardency  of  my  "  first  love  "  that 
the  latter  is  seldom  "  remembered  or  comes  into 
mind."  Not  a  throb  of  pain  from  the  ''aching 
void  "  so  long  left  in  my  heart  by  the  passing  away 
of  those  "peaceful  hours"  has  been  experienced 
during  these  fifty  years.  On  the  other  hand,  that 
void  has  been  occupied  and  filled  by  ''  the  peace  uf 
God  "  during  this  entire  period. 

Daring  these  fifty  years  I  have  almost,  and  I 
might  say  quite,  ceased  to  be  conscious  of  the 
existence  and  action  of  those  evil  propensities  (lusts) 
which,  during  the  preceding  eighteen  years,  "  warred 
in  my  members  "  and  so  often  rendered  me  a  groan- 
ing captive  "  under  the  law  of  sin  and  death," 
*'  the  law  of  the  Spirit  of  life  in  Christ  Jesus  having 
made  me  free "  from  that  old  law.  Immediately 
after  my  entrance  into  "  the  brightness  of  the 
divine  rising "  I  became  blissfully  conscious  that 
all  my  propensities  were,  by  divine  grace,  put  under 
my  absolute  control  ;  that  I  was  no  longer  a  groan- 


232  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

ing  captive,  but  the  Lord's  free  man — free  and 
divinely  empowered  to  employ  all  faculties  and  pro- 
pensities, physical  and  mental,  as  '*  instruments  of 
righteousness  in  the  divine  service." 

In  but  one  single  instance,  for  example,  have  I, 
during  all  these  fifty  years,  been  conscious  at  all  of 
a  movement  of  that  evil  temper,  the  strongest  of  all 
my  propensities,  and  that  was  but  for  an  instant, 
and  occurred  some  thirty  or  forty  years  since,  no 
one  suspecting  the  fact  but  myself.  Brother  Finney, 
after  our  very  intimate  association  of  fifteen  years' 
continuanc^e  at  Oberlin,  made  the  statement  to  a 
leadincr  minister,  a  mutual  friend  of  ours  :  "  Brother 
Mahan  never  gets  angry,  nor  does  he  ever,  under 
the  severest  provocations  or  the  most  trying  and  dis- 
turbing providences,  lose  the  even  balance  of  his 
mind." 

As  the  result  of  fifty  years'  experience  and  careful 
self-watchfulness  I  present  myself  as  a  witness  for 
Christ,  that  '*  our  old  man  may  be  crucified  with 
him,"  and  "the  body  of  sin  destroyed,  that  hence- 
forth we  should  not  serve  sin."  Were  those  old 
propensities  against  which  I  so  long  and  vainly 
fought,  and  whose  existence  and  action  within  I  so 
long  and  deeply  lamented,  now  warring  or  acting  at 
all  in  the  inner  man,  should  I  not  be,  sometimes,  at 
least,  conscious  of  the  fact  ? 

Nor  has  a  shadow  of  one  of  those  doubts  which 
so  frequently  darkened    my  vision — doubts  of  my 


PROF.    ASA   MAFIAN,    LL.D,  233 

Standing  with  God,  of  the  truth  of  his  word,  and 
of  an  eternity  to  come— had  for  a  moment  a  place 
in  my  experience  since  "  the  Sun  of  Righteousness 
rose  upon  my  soul  with  heaHng  in  his  wings." 

In  the  inner  life  also  there  has  been  during  these 
fifty  years,  not  as  formerly,  little  or  no  conscious 
growth,  but  an  increasing  knowledge  of  my  in- 
dwelling God  and  Saviour,  and  a  consciously  grow- 
ing *'  meetness  for  the  inheritance  of  the  saints  in 
light,"  as  well  as  of  the  doctrine  and  the  great  revela- 
tions of  the  sacred  word.  Knowledge  now,  also,  as  it 
had  not  then,  has  a  consciously  transforming  power, 
changing  the  moral  being  into  the  image  of  Christ, 
"  from  glory  to  glory,  even  as  by  the  Spirit  of  the 
Lord." 

The  fear  and  dread  of  death  which  threw  such 
a  deep  gloom  over  my  impenitence,  and  continued 
to  oppress  me  during  the  eighteen  years  of  my 
primal  Christian  life,  has  never  approached  my 
mind  since  "the  brightness  of  the  rising"  at  the 
commencement  of  the  period  now  under  consider- 
ation.    O  !  how  sweet  is  the  whisper  of  the  angel, 

"  In  my  room, 
A  few  more  shadows  and  he  will  come." 

As  long  as  Christ  has  work  for  me  here  I  much 
prefer  earth  to  heaven  ;  when  that  work  shall  have 
been  finished  I  am  possessed  of  but  one  desire,  and 
that  is,  ''  To  be  absent  from  the  body  and  present 


234  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

with  the  Lord."  My  entrance  into  the  higher  Hfe 
was  attended  by  two  important  facts — a  vast  increase 
of  effective  power  in  preaching  Christ  to  the  impen- 
itent, and  "the  edification  of  the  body  of  Christ  ' 
(believers)  became  the  leading  characteristic  aid 
luxury  of  my  ministry.  Religious  conversions  be- 
came as  easy  and  spontaneous  as  the  outflow  c  f 
water  from  a  living  fountain.  How  often  have  I  had 
occasion  to  repeat  the  word  of  the  apostle  as  appli- 
cable to  myself:  "  Blessed  be  God,  even  the  Father 
of  our  Lord  Jesus  Christ,  the  Father  of  mercies, 
and  the  God  of  all  comfort  ;  who  comforteth  us  in 
all  our  tribulation,  that  we  may  be  able  to  comfort 
them  which  are  in  any  trouble,  by  the  comfort 
wherewith  we  ourselves  are  comforted  of  God." 

Should  I  designate  what  I  regard  as  one  of  the 
leading,  if  not  tJie  leading,  characteristics  of  my  ex- 
perience and  life  during  these  fifty  years  I  should 
refer  to  such  Scriptures  as  the  following :  "■  Thou 
wilt  keep  him  in  perfect  peace  whose  mind  is 
stayed  on  thee,  because  he  trusteth  in  thee ;  " 
"  And  the  fruit  of  righteousness  shall  be  peace,  and 
the  effect  of  righteousness  quietness  and  assurance 
forever;"  "Be  careful  for  nothing;  but  in  every 
thing  by  prayer  and  supplication  with  thanksgiving 
let  your  requests  be  made  known  to  God.  And  the 
peace  of  God,  which  passeth  all  understanding,  shall 
keep  your  hearts  and  minds  through  Christ  Jesus." 
At  intervals  my  joy  in  God  becomes  so  full  and 


PROF.    ASA   MAHAN,    LL.D.  235 

overflowing  that  it  seems  as  if  the  great  deep  of  the 
mind  is  being  broken  up.  But  my  peace,  quietness, 
and  assurance  know  no  interruption.  "  In  whatever 
state  I  am,  I  have  learned  therewith  to  be  con- 
tent ;  "  my  abiding-place  being  the  center  of  the 
sweet  will  of  my  God. 

Should  I  be  asked,  "  Have  you  not  sinned  during 
these  many  years?  "  my  reply  would  be,  "  I  set  up 
no  such  pretension  as  that.  This  I  do  profess,  how- 
ever :  that  I  find  grace  to  "  serve  Christ  with  a  pure 
conscience.'  But  while  '  I  know  nothing  by  (against) 
myself,  yet  am  I  not  hereby  justified,  but  He  that 
judgeth  me  is  God.'  I  do  'have  confidence  toward 
God,'  because  '  my  heart  condemns  me  not.'  I 
have  this  evidence  also,  that  the  love  I  have  does 
cast  out  all  '  fear  that  hath  torment.'  In  the 
consciousness  of  such  facts  I  commit  to  Christ  the 
keeping  of  my  soul,  and  that  in  '  the  full  assurance 
of  faith,'  the  full  assurance  of  hope,  '  the  full  assur- 
ance of  understanding.'  " 

As  the  result  of  these  fifty  years'  experience  and 
widely-extended  and  careful  observation,  together 
with  the  most  careful  and  prayerful  study  of  every 
part  of  the  word  of  God  which  bears  upon  the  sub- 
ject, I  may  add  here  that  not  a  shadow  of  a  doubt 
rests  upon  my  mind  of  the  absolute  truth  of  these 
great  doctrines,  namely,  the  doctrines  of  justifi- 
cation by  faith,  sanctification  by  faith,  and  of  the 
baptism  of  the  Holy  Ghost  to  be  received  by  faith. 


236  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

Soon  after  I  became  conscious  of  a  personal  union 

with  Christ,  "  I  in  him  and  he  in  me,"  I  inquired  of 

the    Lord   whether  such    bHssful    union    could    be 

an  abiding  one.     In  specific  answer  to  such  inquiry 

this  promise  was,  ail-impressively,  presented  to  my 

faith,  and  has  ever  since  abode  in  my  heart  as  the 

light  of  my  life ;  namely,  "  The  sun  shall  be  no  more 

thy  light  by  day ;  neither  for  brightness  shall  the 

moon  give  light  unto  thee;  but  the  Lord  shall  be 

unto  thee  an  everlasting  light,  and  thy  God  thy  glory. 

Thy  sun  shall  no  more  go  down  ;  neither  shall  thy 

moon  withdraw  itself;  for  the  Lord  shall  be  thine 

everlasting  light,  and  the  day  of  mourning  shall  be 

ended." 

ASA  MAHAN. 


FRANCES   RIDLEY   HAVERGAL.  237 


II. 

FRANCES  RIDLEY  HAVERGAL.* 

(CHURCH   OF  ENGLAND.) 

J^NE  day  Frances  received  in  a  letter  a  tiny  book 
T     with  the  title  "All  for  Jesus."     She  read  it 
carefully.     Its  contents  arrested  her  attention.     It 
set  forth  a  fullness  of  Christian  experience  and  bless- 
ing exceeding  that  to  which  she  had  as  yet  attained. 
She  was  gratefully  conscious  of   having  for  many 
years  loved  the  Lord  and  delighted  in  his  service ; 
but  there  was  in  her  experience  a  falling  short  of  the 
standard,  not  so  much  of  a  holy  walk  and  conversa- 
tion as  of  uniform  brightness  and  continuous  enjoy- 
ment in  the  divine  life.     ''AH  for  Jesus  "she  found 
went  straight  to  this  point  of  the  need  and   longing 
of  her  soul.     Writing  in  reply  to  the  author  of  the 
little  book  she  said  :  ''  I  do  so  long  for  deeper  and 
fuller  teaching  in  my  own  heart ;  '  All  for  Jesus  '  has 
touched  me  very  much.     I  know  I  love  Jesus,  and 
there  are  times  when  I  feel  such  intensity  of  love  to 
him  that  I  have  not  words  to  describe  it.     I  rejoice, 
too,  in  him  as  my  '  Master'  and  '  Sovereign,'  but  I 
want  to  come  nearer  still,  to  have  the  full  realization 

*  From  a  tract  published  by  James  H.  Earle,  Boston,  written  by  the  sister  of 
Miss  Havergal,  and  entitled  F.  R.  H.'s  Second  Experience. 


238  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

of  John  14.  21,  and  to  know  'the  power  of  his  res- 
urrection '  even  if  it  be  with  the  fellowship  of  his 
sufferings.  And  all  this,  not  exactly  for  my  own  joy 
alone,  but  for  others.  So  I  want  Jesus  to  speak  to 
me,  to  say  '  many  things'  to  me,  that  I  may  speak 
for  him  to  others  with  real  power.  It  is  not  knowing 
doctrine,  but  being  with  him,  which  will  give  this." 

God  did  not  leave  her  long  in  this  state  of  mind. 
He  himself  had  shown  her  that  there  were  ''  regions 
beyond  "  of  blessed  experience  and  service  ;  had 
kindled  in  her  very  soul  the  intense  desire  to  go  for- 
ward and  possess  them  ;  and  now,  in  his  own  grace 
and  love,  he  took  her  by  the  hand  and  led  her  into 
the  goodly  land.  A  few  words  from  her  corre- 
spondent on  the  power  of  Jesus  to  keep  those  who 
abide  in  him  from  falling,  and  on  the  continually 
present  power  of  his  blood  (*'  the  blood  of  Jesus 
Christ  his  Son  cleanselh  us  from  all  sin")  v^^ere  used 
by  the  Master  in  effecting  this.  Very  joyously  she 
replied :  "  I  see  it  all,  and  I  have  the  blessing." 

The  "  sunless  ravines  "  were  now  forever  passed, 
and  henceforth  her  peace  and  joy  flowed  onward, 
deepening  and  widening  under  the  teaching  of  God 
the  Holy  Ghost.  The  blessing  she  had  received  had 
(to  use  her  own  words)  "  lifted  her  whole  life  into 
sunshine,  of  which  all  she  had  previously  experienced 
was  but  as  pale  and  passing  April  gleams,  compared 
with  the  fullness  of  summer  glory." 

The  practical  effect  of  this  was  most  evident  in 


FRANCES    RIDLEY    IIAVERGAL.  239 

her  daily,  true-hearted,  whole-hearted  service  for 
her  King,  and  also  in  the  increased  joyousness  of 
the  unswerving  obedience  of  her  home  life,  the 
surest  test  of  all. 

To  the  reality  of  this  I  do  most  willingly  and 
fully  testify.  Some  time  afterward,  in  answer  to 
my  question,  when  we  were  talking  quietly  together, 
Frances  said :  "  Yes  it  was  on  Advent  Sunday,  Dec. 
2d,  1873,  I  first  saw  clearly  the  blessedness  of  true 
consecration.  I  saw  it  as  a  flash  of  electric  lisfht,  and 
what  you  see  you  can  never  zcnsee.  There  must  be 
full  surrender  before  there  can  be  full  blessedness. 
God  admits  you  by  the  one  into  the  other.  He 
himself  showed  me  all  this  most  clearly.  You  know 
how  singularly  I  have  been  withheld  from  attending 
all  conventions  and  conferences;  man's  teaching  has 
consequently  had  but  little  to  do  with  it.  First,  I 
was  shown  that  '  the  blood  of  Jesus  Christ  his  Son 
cleanseth  us  from  all  sin,'  and  then  it  was  made 
plain  to  me  that  he  who  had  thus  cleansed  me  had 
power  to  keep  me  clean  ;  so  I  just  utterly  yielded 
myself  to  him  and  utterly  trusted  him  to  keep  me." 

I  replied  that  ''  it  seemed  to  me  if  we  did  thus 
yield  ourselves  to  the  Lord  we  could  not  take  our- 
selves back  again,  any  more  than  the  Levitical  sac- 
rifices, once  accepted  by  the  priest,  were  returned  by 
him  to  the  offerer." 

''Yes,"  she  rejoined,  *'just  so.  Still,  I  see  there 
can  be  renewal  of  the  surrender,  as  in  our  commun- 


240  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

ion  service,  where  we  say:  '  And  here  we  offer  and 
present  unto  Thee,  O  Lord,  ourselves,  our  souls  and 
bodies.'  And  there  may  also  be  a  fuller  surrender, 
even  long  after  a  surrender  has  once,  or  many  times 
before,  been  made.      He  has  brought  me  into   the 

*  highway  of  holiness,'  up  which  I  trust  every  day  to 
progress,  continually  pressing  forward",  led  by  the 
Spirit  of  God.  And  I  do  indeed  find  that  with  it 
comes  a  happy  trusting,  not  only  in  all  great  matters, 
but  in  all  the  little  things  also,  so  that  I  cannot  say 

*  so  and  so  worries  me.' 

"  I  would  distinctly  state,  that  it  is  only  as  and 
while  a  soul  is  under  the  full  power  of  the  blood  of 
Christ  that  it  can  be  cleansed  from  all  sin  ;  that  one 
moment's  withdrawal  from  that  power,  and  it  is 
again  actively  because  really  sinning ;  and  that  it  is 
only  as,  and  while,  kept  by  the  power  of  God  himself 
that  we  are  not  sinning  against  him  ;  one  instant  of 
standing  alone  is  certain  fall !  But  (premising 
that)  have  we  not  been  limiting  the  cleansing  power 
of  the  precious  blood  when  applied  by  the  Holy 
Spirit,  and  also  the  keeping  power  of  our  God  ? 
Have  we  not  been  limiting  i  John  i.  7,  by  practically 
making  it  refer  only  to  '  the  remission  of  sins  that 
are  past '  instead  of  taking  the  grand  simplicity  of 
'  cleanseth  us  from  all  sin  ? '  '  All '  is  all ;  and  as  we 
may  trust  him  to  cleanse  from  the  stain  of  past  sins 
so  we  may  trust  him  to  cleanse  from  all  present  de- 
filement ;  yes,  all !      If  not,  wo  take  away  from  this 


FRANCES  RIDLEY  HAVERGAL.       24 1 

most  precious  promise,  and,  by  refusing  to  take  it  in 
its  fullness,  lose  the  fullness  of  its  application  and 
power.  Then  we  limit  God's  power  to  '  keep  ;'  we 
look  at  our  frailty  more  than  at  his  omnipotence. 
Where  is  the  line  to  be  drawn  beyond  which  he  is 
not  able?  The  very  keeping  implies  total  helpless- 
ness without  it,  and  the  very  cleansing  most  dis- 
tinctly implies  defilement  without  it.  It  was  that 
one  word  'cleanseth'  which  opened  the  door  of  a 
very  glory  of  hope  and  joy  to  me.  I  had  never  seen 
the  force  of  the  tense  before,  a  continual  present, 
always  a  present  tense,  not  a  present  which  the  next 
moment  becomes  a  past.  It  goes  on  cleansing,  and 
I  have  no  words  to  tell  how  my  heart  rejoices  in  it. 
Not  a  coming  to  be  cleansed  in  the  fountain  only, 
but  a  remaining  in  the  fountain,  so  that  it  may  and 
can  go  on  cleansing. 

''•  Why  should  we  pare  down  the  commands  and 
promises  of  God  to  the  level  of  what  we  have 
hitherto  experienced  of  what  God  is  *  able  to  do,'  or 
even  of  what  we  have  thought  he  might  be  able  to 
do  for  us  ?  Why  not  receive  God's  promises,  noth- 
ing doubting,  just  as  they  stand  ?  '  Take  the  shield 
of  faith,  whereby  ye  shall  be  able  to  quench  all  the 
fiery  darts  of  the  wicked  ;'  '  He  is  able  to  make  all 
grace  abound  toward  you,  that  ye,  always  having  all 
sufficiency  in  all  things  ;'  and  so  on,  through  whole 
constellations  of  promises,  which  surely  mean  really 

and  fully  what  they  say. 
16 


242  FORTY    WITNESSES. 

"  One  arrives  at  the  same  thing,  starting  almost 
from  anywhere.  Take  Philippians  4.  19,  '  your 
need  ;'  well,  what  is  my  great  need  and  craving,  of 
soul?  Surely  it  is  now  (having  been  justified  by 
faith,  and  hnving  assurance  of  salvation,)  to  be  made 
holy  by  the  continual  sanctifying  power  of  God's 
Spirit ;  to  be  kept  from  grieving  the  Lord  Jesus;  to 
be  kept  from  thinking  or  doing  whatever  is  not 
accordant  with   his  holy  will. 

"  Oh  what  a  need  is  this !  And  it  is  said  '  He 
shall  supply  all  need  ;'  now  shall  we  turn  round  and 
say  '  all '  does  not  mean  quite  all  ?  Both  as  to  the 
commands  and  the  promises,  it  seems  to  me  that 
anything  short  of  believing  them  as  they  stand  is 
but  another  form  of  '  yea  hath  God  said?' 

*'  Thus  accepting,  in  simple  and  unquestioning 
faith,  God's  commands  and  promises,  one  seems  to 
be  at  once  brought  into  intensified  views  of  every- 
thing. Never,  O  never  before,  did  sin  seem  so 
hateful,  so  really  '  intolerable,'  nor  watchfulness  so 
necessary,  and  a  keenness  and  uninterruptedness  of 
watchfulness  too,  beyond  what  one  ever  thought  of, 
only  somehow  different,  not  a  distressed  sort  but  a 
happy  sort.  It  is  the  watchfulness  of  a  sentinel 
when  his  captain  is  standing  by  him  on  the  ramparts, 
when  his  eye  is  more  than  ever  on  the  alert  for  any 
sign  of  the  approaching  enemy,  because  he  knows 
they  can  only  approach  to  be  defeated.  Then,  too, 
the  'all  for  Jesus'  comes  in;   one  sees  there  is  no 


FRANCES    RIDLEY    HAVERGAL.  243 

half  way ;  it  must  be  absolutely  all  yielded  up,  be- 
cause the  least  unyielded  or  doubtful  point  is  sin, 
let  alone  the  great  fact  of  owing  all  to  him.  And 
one  cannot,  dare  not,  temporize  with  sin.  I  know 
and  have  found  that  even  a  momentary  hesitation 
about  yielding,  or  obeying,  or  trusting  and  believ- 
ing, vitiates  all ;  the  communion  is  broken,  the  joy 
vanished  ;  only,  thank  God,  this  never  need  continue 
even  five  minutes ;  faith  may  plunge  instantly  into 
'  the  fountain  open  for  sin  and  uncleanness,'  and 
again  find  its  power  to  cleanse  and  restore.  Then 
one  wants  to  have  more  and  more  light ;  one  does 
not  shrink  from  painful  discoveries  of  evil,  because 
one  so  wants  to  have  the  unknown  depths  of  it 
cleansed  as  well  as  what  comes  to  the  surface. 
'  Cleanse  me  thoroughly  from  my  sins  ;'  and  one 
prays  to  be  shown  this.  But  so  far  as  one  does  see 
one  must  *  put  away  sin  '  and  obey  entirely;  and  here 
again  his  power  is  our  resource,  enabling  us  to  do 
what  without  it  we  could  not  do. 

''  One  of  the  intensest  moments  of  my  life  was 
when  I  saw  the  force  of  that  word  *  cleanseth.'  The 
utterly  unexpected  and  altogether  unimagined  sense 
of  its  fulfillment  to  me,  on  simply  believing  it  in  its 
fullness,  was  just  indescribable.  I  expected  nothing 
like  it  short  of  heaven.  I  am  so  thankful  that,  in 
the  whole  matter,  there  was  as  little  human  instru- 
mentality as  well  could  be,  for  certainly  two  sen- 
tences in  letters  from  a  total  strangfer  were  little. 


244  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

I  am  so  conscious  of  his  direct  teaching  and  guid- 
ance through  his  word  and  Spirit  in  the  matter  that 
I  cannot  think  I  can  ever  unsee  it  again.  I  have 
waited  many  months  before  writing  this,  so  it  is  no 
new  and  untested  theory  to  me  ;  in  fact,  experience 
came  before  theory  and  is  more  to  me  than  any 
theory. 


MRS.    MARY   D.   JAMES.  •    245 


III. 

MRS.  MARY  D.  JAMES.* 

(METHODIST.) 

'ID  ORN  in  Trenton,  New  Jersey,  August  7,  18 10. 
X  died  in  New  York  city,  October  4,  1883.  She 
was  reared  in  a  Christian  home  and  was  an  unusually 
thoughtful,  conscientious  child.  She  was  clearly 
converted  at  a  little  more  than  ten  years  of  age, 
February  18,  182 1.  Of  her  early  experience  she 
wrote:  "  My  peace  and  joy  in  the  Lord  abounded, 
and  for  some  weeks  I  felt  nothing  contrary  to  per- 
fect love."  Afterward  she  "  felt  the  rising  of  de- 
praved nature,  which,  though  subdued,  still  remained, 
and  was  constantly  striving  to  gain  the  ascendency 
and  usurp  the  throne  of  which  the  adorable  Re- 
deemer had  possession.  To  prevent  sin  from  hav- 
ing dominion  over  me  was  my  unceasing  effort,  and 
my  soul  was  pained  and  grieved  exceedingly  to 
feel  the  workings  of  this  vile  enemy  within." 

A  few  months  after  her  entrance  upon  the  Chris- 
tian   life    the   Rev.   Joseph    Lybrand    became    her 

*  This  account  was  prepared  for  this  volume  by  the  son  and  biographer  of  Mrs 
James,  As  far  as  possible  the  narration  is  given  in  her  own  words,  as  indicated  by 
quotation  marks,  the  passages  in  the  third  person  having  been  so  written  as  a 
matter  of  her  taste. 


246  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

pastor,  and  ''  most  clearly,  forcibly  and  constantly 
preached  the  doctrine  of  a  full  salvation  as  the 
privilege  of  all  the  children  of  God."  He  also  took 
pains  to  explain  this  experience  to  "  little  Mary," 
the  youngest  lamb  of  his  flock.  She  v^rites  :  ''  From 
the  hour  in  which  it  was  first  presented  as  my 
privilege  I  sought  it  with  unremitting  diligence. 
I  presented  myself  to  God  *  a  living  sacrifice,'  in 
the  bonds  of  an  everlasting  covenant,  and  began  to 
reckon  myself  to  be  '  dead  indeed  unto  sin,  but 
alive  unto  God  through  Jesus  Christ  our  Lord.' 
This,  I  think,  was  about  six  months  after  my  con- 
version. I  did  not  at  that  time  receive  the  evidence 
that  the  work  was  fully  wrought." 

In  her  diary  she  wrote,  January  3,  1823:  ''I 
thirst  for  full  redemption  in  the  blood  of  the  Lamb. 
O  Jesus,  give  me  power  to  lay  hold  of  thy  promise 
by  faith.     I  cannot  rest  till  I  am  wholly  sanctified." 

Two  days  later  she  attended  a  prayer-meeting  in 
which  she  was  called  upon  to  pray,  but  "  was 
tempted  to  refuse."  *' As  the  leader  of  the  meeting 
said  the  second  time,  '  Pray,  sister  Mary,  God  will 
help  you,'  she  looked  up  to  Jesus,  casting  herself 
upon  him,  and  began  her  supplication.  Having 
uttered  only  a  sentence  or  two  her  spirit  was 
caught  up  into  the  infinite  presence,  and,  for  more 
than  an  hour,  she  was  talking  with  Jesus  face  to 
face,  unconscious  of  all  earthly  things.  Her  body 
was  prostrated  as  if  lifeless.     It  was  during  that 


MRS.    MARY   D.   JAMES.  247 

memorable  hour  that  the  all-cleansing  blood  was 
applied  and  her  heart  was  made  pure." 

January  10,  1823,  this  child,  then  less  than  thir- 
teen years  of  age,  wrote  in  her  diary :  ^'  Glory  to 
God  in  the  highest !  He  has  heard  my  prayers,  and 
this  night  my  soul  rejoices  in  that  '  perfect  love ' 
which  '  casteth  out  fear.'  O  how  happy  I  am ! 
Where  shall  I  begin  to  praise  my  Saviour  for  his 
goodness  to  me?  It  is  now  more  than  a  year  since 
I  enlisted  under  the  banner  of  Jesus,  and  he  has 
kept  me  by  his  power  until  this  time.  I  have  had 
many  temptations  and  trials,  and  sometimes  have 
not  lived  as  near  to  God  as  I  ought  to  have  done, 
but,  blessed  be  his  dear  name,  he  has  upheld  me  by 
his  gracious  hand,  and  I  am  at  this  moment  a  wit, 
ness  that  his  precious  blood  cleanseth  from  all  sin." 

While  yet  a  young  woman,  Mary  Yard  wrote  in 
a  letter  to  a  friend :  ''  To  describe  the  difference 
between  my  feelings  at  the  time  of  my  justification 
and  sanctification  would  be  impossible.  Indeed,  I 
believe  that  sanctification  is  but  the  extension  or 
fullness  of  the  former  blessing,  the  brightness  of 
meridian  splendor  compared  to  the  dawn.  .  .  .  But 
the  figure  will  not  hold  good  any  further  than  the 
sun's  meridian,  for  the  Christian  having  the  fullness 
of  perfect  love  still  goes  onward.  '  Higher  mounts 
his  soul  and  higher.'  His  capacities  enlarge,  and  he 
abounds  in  love  yet  more  and  more." 

Twice  the  brig^htness  of  the  evidence  of  this  ex- 


248  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

perience  was  dimmed.  While  yet  a  little  child  she 
listened  to  the  advice  of  older  persons  and  ceased 
to  speak  definitely  of  the  grace  given  her,  and  ''  had 
a  season  of  spiritual  darkness,  which,  however,  was 
of  short  duration."  Again  in  1835,  upon  her  removal 
to  Mount  Holly,  N.  J.,  as  the  wife  of  Mr.  Henry  B. 
James,  she  ceased  to  bear  testimony  specifically  in  re- 
gard to  full  redemption.  "  She  sincerely  believed  her- 
self justifiable  in  withholding  her  testimony  to  the 
power  of  the  blood  that  cleanseth.  For  a  long 
time  she  pursued  this  course  without  compunctions 
of  conscience,  but  wondering  w4iy  she  was  shorn  of 
strength  when  she  attempted  to  speak  or  pray, 
and  why  she  felt  that  there  seemed  an  in- 
tervening mist,  half  concealing  the  brightness  of 
her  Saviour's  face,  while  she  felt  the  same  ardent 
love  to  him  and  devotion  to  the  interests  of  his 
kingdom.  The  consciousness  that  his  presence 
was  a  less  vivid  realization  caused  her  deep  sorrow." 
This  sorrow  was  increased  when  Mrs.  James  learned 
that  her  course  in  this  regard  had  hindered  others. 
In  1840,  during  a  visit  to  the  home  of  Dr.  and  Mrs. 
W.  C.  Palmer,  in  New  York,  this  matter  was  set 
forever  at  rest.  "  From  this  visit  she  returned  to 
her  home  full  of  holy  energy  and  strong  purpose 
to  work  for  God.  Her  glowing  soul  longed  to 
show  forth  his  praise  who  so  gloriously  revealed 
himself  to  her."  She  at  once  began  to  speak  in 
unmistakable  terms  of  the  doctrine  and  experience — 


MRS.    MARY   D.   JAMES.  249 

a  course  from  which  she  never  deviated  during  the 
forty-three  years  that  remained  to  her  on  earth. 
She  never  professed  to  be  "  sinless,"  or  ''  perfect,"  or 
"  holy,"  but  loved,  on  all  occasions  when  she  thought 
it  would  honor  her  Master,  to  confess  that  Jesus 
saved  her  completely  and  filled  her  with  his  perfect 
love.  In  a  letter  to  a  friend  she  wrote :  *'  In  the 
retrospect  of  sixty-two  years  it  gives  me  unspeak- 
able pleasure  to  know  that  my  entire  life  has 
been  consecrated  to  his  blessed  service.  O,  if  I 
had  served  him  more  faithfully,  more  acceptably  ! 
It  is  the  sweetest  joy  of  my  heart  to  look  up  to 
my  Saviour  and  say: 

•Thy  righteousness  alone 

Can  clothe  and  beautify, 
I  wrap  it  round  my  soul ; 

In  it  I  live  and  die.'  " 

After  threescore  years  of  useful,  happy  living  in 
the  consciousness  of  this  full  salvation,  she  sat 
one  morning  talking  with  those  "  of  like  precious 
faith,"  in  regard  to  the  great  salvation,  when  she 
"was  not,  for  God  took  her." 


2c;o  FORTY  WITNESSES. 


IV. 

REV.  WILLIAM  BUTLER,  D.D.* 

(METHODIST.) 

FROM  childhood  I  was  connected  with  the  Epis- 
copal Church — an  attendant  on  its  services  and 
Sunday-school,  and  diligent  in  all  its  duties  ;  so  that 
I  "profited  above  many"  of  my  class  associates, 
and  bore  off,  because  of  my  superior  knowledge  of 
the  word  of  God,  several  of  the  valuable  premiums 
in  the  yearly  examinations.  No  doubt  of  the  safety 
and  graciousness  of  my  condition  had  ever  entered 
my  mind.  I  was  taught,  and  I  believed  it,  that  in 
baptism  "  I  was  made  a  member  of  Christ,  a  child 
of  God  and  an  inheritor  of  the  kingdom  of  heaven." 
What  more  could  I  need?  I  regarded  myself  as 
safe  for  eternity.  Had  any  one  asked  ''  a  reason  of 
the  hope  that  was  in  me,"  or  why  I  laid  this  flatter- 
ing unction  to  my  soul  so  confidently,  I  would  have 
appealed  to  the  book  and  replied,  "  My  Catechism 
tells  me  so ;  I  was  made  all  this  '  in  my  baptism.'  " 
On  this  unscriptural  dogma  I  was  risking  all  my 
future  welfare.     Of  repentance,  faith   in  the  Lord 

*  This  experience  was   compiled   from    Dr.  Butler's  writings  and  submitted  to 
him.     Dr.  Butler  was  born  in  1818. 


REV.    WILLIAM    BUTLER,    D.D.  25 1 

Jesus,  the  new  birth,  or  the  witness  of  the  Spirit,  I 
knew  nothing  and  had  never  heard.     Truly 

"  A  form  of  godliness  was  mine, 
The  power  I  never  knew." 

But  a  compassionate  God  was  preparing  another 
agency  to  undeceive  me,  to  open  my  eyes  and  turn 
me  from  darkness  to  Hght,  that  I  might  receive  for- 
giveness of  my  sins  and  an  inheritance  among  them 
that  are  sanctified,  all  through  the  instrumentality 
of  a  blessed  woman  of  God,  the  wife  of  one  of  her 
majesty's  judges  (Sydney  Mary  Crampton),  who  had 
recently  moved  into  our  neighborhood. 

She  walked  out  every  morning  and  distributed 
tracts  and  talked  to  people  about  religion.  I  found 
myself  sincerely  hoping  that  I  should  not  fall  into 
her  hands  or  be  talked  to  by  her.  I  did  not  wish 
to  be  disturbed  as  to  my  religious  condition.  On 
inquiring  as  to  her  appearance,  she  was  represented 
to  me  as  tall,  refined,  and  delicate  looking.  It  was 
singular  how  uncomfortable  I  became  by  the  pres- 
ence of  this  "  Methodist  "  in  our  neighborhood,  and 
how  much  I  began  to  fear  that  I  might  come  in 
contact  with  her,  and  that  she  might  talk  to  me 
about  my  religious  state. 

It  was  only  a  few  mornings  after  hearing  of  the 
lady  that  I  rose  earlier  than  usual  to  attend  to  some 
business,  and,  going  along  the  road  near  St.  Valori, 
I  saw  her  coming  toward  me  attended  by  her  maid. 


252  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

From  the  description  I  felt  assured  this  must  be 
the  lady !  I  at  once  slackened  my  pace  in  order  to 
get  time  to  decide  what  I  should  do  to  escape.  The 
wall  on  either  side  of  the  road  was  some  six  feet 
high  and  I  could  not  jump  over.  It  looked  cowardly 
to  turn  back  and  escape  by  walking  away  from  her, 
so  I  concluded  to  take  the  alternative  which  re- 
mained, that,  as  the  sidewalk  was  fully  five  feet  wide, 
I  would,  as  we  approached  each  other,  step  to  the 
very  outside  limit  and  leave  her  a  wide  berth  to 
pass  on.  Quickening  my  steps  to  carry  out  my  pur- 
pose, as  I  came  near  I  saw,  to  my  confusion,  that  she 
did  not  intend  to  move  off  to  the  inside,  but  was 
going  to  stop  in  the  center  of  the  path  and  so  gently 
bar  my  way !  vShe  afterward  told  me  that  before  I 
reached  her  the  Spirit  of  God  seemed  to  say  to  her 
heart,  '*  Speak  to  this  young  man."  So,  as  she 
stopped,  I  had  no  alternative  but  to  do  the  same, 
and  then  I  ventured  to  lift  my  eyes  and  look  at  her. 
How  amazed  I  was,  and  ashamed  as  well,  that  I 
should  have  imagined  her — "this  Methodist" — 
something  of  a  horror,  to  be  afraid  of  on  meeting! 
How  sweet  her  face  was,  and  such  a  smile !  She 
could  not  but  see  that  I  was  alarmed  at  her  pres- 
ence and  that  I  looked  rather  wild.  But  she  spoke 
and  said  in  such  a  gentle  way,  and  in  tones  that  I 
shall  never  forget,  ''  Good-morning,  young  man ; 
may  I  say  a  few  words  to  you?"  My  trepidation 
at  once  calmed   down,  and   I    looked  again  at  that 


REV.    WILLIAM    BUTLER,    D.D.  253 

saintly  face  and  answered,  "Yes,  madam,  you  may 
say  whatever  you  wish."  She  saw  that  she  had 
gained  her  first  point,  and  stepped  nearer  till  she 
could  touch  my  sleeve  with  that  white  hand,  so  thin 
and  wasted  by  the  incipient  consumption  which  four 
years  after  was  to  lay  her  in  the  grave. 

She  then  said,  *'  I  want  to  ask  you  this  question  : 
Do  you  pray  ?  "  Had  she  asked  me,  ''  Do  you  say 
your  prayers?  "  I  could  have  answered  with  great 
confidence.  But  she  did  not  say  or  mean  that, 
though  herself  an  Episcopalian  and  well  acquainted 
with  the  prayer-book.  I  had  never  offered  an  ex- 
tempore prayer — could  not  have  done  it.  My  heart 
had  not  learned  to  utter  its  own  cry  to  God  accord- 
ing to  its  own  feelings.  I  had  only  repeated  the 
language  of  other  people,  whether  it  fully  expressed 
my  own  condition  or  not.  It  was  wonderful  what 
clearness  there  was  in  her  question  ;  how  the  Spirit 
of  God  carried  her  meaning  into  my  mind.  So, 
though  in  such  darkness,  I  saw  at  once  what  she 
meant  when  she  asked  me  if  I  prayed.  Being  too 
manly  to  tell  a  falsehood  I  promptly  answered,  "No, 
madam,  I  do  not."  She  drew  a  deep  sigh  and  then 
said,  "  Well,  if  you  don't  pray,  zv/iaf  is  to  become  of 
your  soul?  "  Up  to  that  hour  I  had  supposed  that 
my  soul  was  all  right,  that  I  was  safe  for  eternity. 
But  the  question  went  through  my  heart  and  woke 
me  up  to  a  suspicion,  which  immediately  became  a 
consciousness,  that  I  was  unsaved  ;  that  m}^  soul  was 


254  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

in  danger!  Her  tender  words  had  ''opened  my 
eyes."  My  ecclesiastical  salvation  vanished  as  in  a 
moment,  and  I  saw  myself  in  the  sight  of  God  a 
sinner,  guilty  and  polluted.  I  hung  my  head  and 
was  silent. 

She  saw  how  God  was  helping  her,  and  touched 
my  arm  again.  How  glad  I  am  that  she  touched 
me!  She  said,  ''  Now  listen  to  me  !  "  She  talked, 
perhaps,  less  than  fifteen  minutes.  When  she  ceased 
I  had  learned  more  about  true  religion  than  I  had 
gained  from  all  the  sermons  I  had  ever  heard.  The 
Holy  Spirit  sealed  every  word  upon  my  conscience, 
and  I  became  so  submissive  to  the  guidance  of  God 
through  her  that  it  seemed  as  though  a  thread 
would  have  led  me  anywhere  to  seek  salvation.  She 
closed  the  interview  earnestly  exhorting  me  not  to 
lose  an  hour  in  carrying  out  my  resolution  to  seek 
the  Lord,  and  made  me  promise  to  call  upon  her 
that  evening,  and  then  used  these  words :  "  Young 
man,  God  is  not  onl)^  able  and  willing  to  save  your 
soul,  but  he  is  also  willing  to  make  you  the  means 
of  the  salvation  of  other  people."  These  words 
startled  me.  Realizing,  as  I  then  did,  the  depth  of 
my  own  unworthiness,  I  could  not  imagine  that  God 
would  add  personal  usefulness  in  my  case  to  per- 
sonal salvation. 

We  parted,  but  I  was  so  determined  to  lose  no 
time  in  seeking  the  Lord  that  I  let  the  worldly  bus- 
iness go  for  that  morning,  and  walked  on  to  where 


REV.    WILLIAM   BUTLER,    D.D.  255 

I  knew  there  was  a  gate  leading  into  the  field,  and 
there  I  entered,  and  behind  that  wall  dropped  on 
my  knees  and  pleaded  with  God  for  mercy.  The 
blessed  Spirit  was  helping  me  and  I  found  words  to 
express  myself.  Then  and  there  I  gave  myself  to 
Christ  as  Saviour  and  Lord  forever,  and  implored 
God  to  make  me  such  a  Christian  as  this  lady  had 
taueht  me  I  must  become  in  order  to  be  saved. 
That  evening  I  called  upon  her,  and  she  further  in- 
structed and  prayed  with  me.  She  also  put  into 
my  hands  the  same  precious  books  that  had  helped 
herself— Carvosso's  Life  and  Mrs.  Rogers's  Life — 
telling  me  to  read  them  daily  along  with  my  Bible, 
and  keep  on  praying  earnestly  until  I  felt  that  the 
Lord  had  converted  my  soul. 

But  I  had  a  hard  conflict,  and  a  long  time  elapsed 
ere  I  entered  into  the  light  and  joy  of  salvation. 
My  dear  friend  was  my  only  helper.  No  Meth- 
odistic  or  other  evangelical  ministry  was  within  my 
reach,  nor  any  of  our  precious  means  of  grace.  I 
was  "  in  a  dry  and  thirsty  land."  The  wicked  scoffed 
at  me,  and  some,  from  whom  better  things  might 
have  been  expected,  pointed  the  finger  of  scorn  at 
"  this  new  Methodist."  But  I  held  on,  though  with- 
out any  comfort  or  joy,  resolved  not  to  give  up 
seeking,  let  them  persecute  as  they  might.  My 
convictions  of  sin  were  very  keen.  Often  I  could 
neither  eat  nor  drink,  nor  even  sleep.  Sometimes  I 
was  so  distressed  that  I  would  rise  at  midnight  and 


256  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

walk  the  fields,  and  look  up  at  the  stars,  and  cry  out 
to  God  above  them  to  come  down  to  my  help  and 
grant  me  mercy.  Satan  was  doing  all  he  could  to 
buffet  and  discourage  me,  so  that  frequently  I 
almost  despaired  of  salvation. 

Winter  arrived  and  my  friend  returned  to  the  city 
of  Dublin,  and  I  was  left  alone  to  wrestle  with  all 
these  difficulties.  But  after  a  while  I  followed  her 
to  the  city,  and  on  the  ensuing  Sabbath  morning  I 
accompanied  her  to  the  Methodist  chapel,  the  first 
non-conformist  service  I  had  ever  attended.  How 
simple  and  apostolic  it  all  appeared  !  The  hearty 
singing,  the  extempore  prayers,  the  experimental 
preaching,  all  delighted  me.  My  confidence  was 
won.  I  felt  that  I  had  found  here  the  very  help 
my  poor  discouraged  soul  required,  and  it  was  easy 
to  conclude  at  once,  as  I  did,  that  these  people 
should  be  my  people  for  the  rest  of  my  life. 

I  joined  a  class.  I  was  no  longer  alone,  without 
sympathy  or  assistance,  but  w'as  helped  especially 
by  hearing  the  experience  of  others. 

One  Sunday  afternoon  while  in  a  meeting  for 
Christian  fellowship,  held  in  the  vestry  of  Hendrick 
Street  chapel,  I  was  enabled  to  rest  on  Christ  as  my 
personal  Redeemer.  All  the  burden  rolled  off  my 
heart  and  I  felt  and  knew  that  I  was  saved  !  I  rose 
to  my  feet  and  at  once  acknowledged  what  the  Lord 
had  done  for  my  soul,  and  those  present  rejoiced 
with  me.     This  was  in  1838. 


REV.   WILLIAM    BUTLER,   D.D.  257 

My  precious  friend  was  made  happy,  and  praised 
God  on  my  behalf.  She  now  urged  upon  me  the 
duty  of  mental  culture,  and  advised  the  keeping  a 
journal  of  my  experience  and  humble  efforts  to  do 
good.  But,  above  all,  she  counseled  the  devout 
and  regular  perusal  of  the  word  of  God^  with  spe- 
cial reference  to  the  attainment  of  that  further  state 
of  grace  to  which,  as  a  child  of  God,  I  had  now 
become  entitled.  I  was  consequently  led  to  join 
one  of  those  little  bands  which  met  to  pray  for 
this  blessing  of  purity  of  heart,  that  "  perfect  love 
which  casteth  out  fear."  To  be  sanctified  through- 
out body,  soul  and  spirit  now  became  my  intense 
desire.  I  longed  to  be  saved  1'  to  the  uttermost," 
and  to  know  for  myself  what  it  was  to  "  walk  in  the 
light,  as  he  is  in  the  light,"  and  experience  that 
"  the  blood  of  Jesus  Christ  his  Son  cleanseth  from 
all  sin."  I  did  not  trouble  myself  about  definitions  of 
the  doctrine,  the  expedience  of  which  I  was  seeking, 
no  more  than  I  did  a  few  weeks  before,  wdien  God 
granted  me  the  blessing  of  justification.  I  simply 
accepted  the  words  above  quoted  in  their  manifest 
meaning,  and  entreated  the  Holy  Spirit  to  grant  me, 
in  his  own  way  and  manner,  what  they  implied. 
Mr.  Wesley's  sermon  on  "  The  Repentance  of 
Believers,"  and  his  ''  Plain  Account  of  Christian 
Perfection,"  and  also  Mr.  Fletcher's  treatise,  greatly 
helped  me ;  so  that  I  had  an  intelligent  apprehen- 
sion of  what  I  required  and  what  the  word  of  God 
17 


258  FORTY   WITNESSES. 

offered  to  my  hope.  With  all  sincerity  and  strong 
desire  I  sought  it  daily  ;  I  might  say,  hourly.  At 
one  of  our  little  meetings  a  peculiar  spirit  of  ear- 
nestness for  the  blessing  sought  became  manifest. 
We  were  kneeling  round  the  center-table  in  the 
parlor,  and  one  after  the  other  prayed,  and  some  one 
suggested  that  we  should  sing,  as  we  knelt,  and  with 
all  the  faith  we  had,  these  two  verses : 

"  O  that  it  now  from  heaven  might  fall. 

And  all  my  sins  consume ! 
Come,  Holy  Ghost,  for  thee  I  call ; 

Spirit  of  burning,  come  ! 

"  Refining  fire,  go  through  my  heart ; 

Illuminate  my  soul ; 
Scatter  thy  life  through  every  part, 

And  sanctity  the  whole." 

As  the  singing  closed  all  became  conscious  of  the 
surrounding  presence  of  the  holy  Sanctifier  whom 
we  had  invoked.  I  can  describe  my  own  feelings 
very  imperfectly,  for  this  was  something  beyond 
what  I  had  ever  known  before.  It  seemed  to  be 
light  and  life  and  love  combined  so  sweetly,  and  in 
such  an  indescribable  manner,  resulting  in 

"  The  speechless  awe  that  dares  not  move 
And  all  the  silent  heaven  of  love." 

Christ  had  become,  beyond  all  former  experience, 
every  thing  to  me,  while  I  seemed  to  sink  at  his 
blessed  feet,  *'  lost  in  astonishment  and  love."  Those, 


REV.    WILLIAM    BUTLER,    D.D.  259 

in  any  denomination,  who  have  sought  and  found 
this  grace  will  understand  what  I  an:i  trying  to  nar- 
rate better  than  I  am  able  to  describe  it. 

The  effect  upon  me  was  clear.  I  had  henceforth 
more  delight  in  devotion,  closer  intimacy  with  God, 
greater  stability  of  heart  and  character,  and  more 
deadness  to  the  world.  I  was  conscious  of  an  in- 
crease of  calmly  fervent  zeal  to  lay  out  my  life  to  do 
any  thing  that  my  blessed  Master  might  require  of 
me.  Perfect  peace — "  the  peace  of  God  that  passeth 
all  understanding  " — kept  my  heart  and  mind  from 
day  to  day.  I  was  free  from  excitement,  from  fluct- 
uation, and  from  all  fear,  resting  sweetly  in  the  calm 
sunshine  of  the  New  Testament  salvation,  and  liv- 
ing "  a  life  of  faith  in  the  Son  of  God,"  who,  I  knew, 
loved  me  and  had  given  himself  for  me. 

"  O,  days  of  heaven, 

And  nights  of  equal  praise!" 

WILLIAM  BUTLER. 


26o  FORTY  WITNESSES. 


V. 

ETHEL  PERKINS. 

(METHODIST.) 

[The  following  experience  of  a  little  girl,  12  years  old,  was  written  by  herself 
on  the  request  of  her  friend,  the  editor,  and  no  one  was  permitted  to  make  any 
suggestions  to  her  as  regards  the  punctuation,  the  choice  or  the  spelling  of  words, 
the  order  of  thought,  or  the  forms  of  expression.  She  did  not  know  what  the 
experience  was  wanted  for.     The  experience  is  given  just  as  she  wrote  it. — S.O.G.] 

iWAS  born  June  24  1875.  I  think  my  christian 
experience  began  when  I  joined  the  Presby- 
terian church  in  Fredonia  New  York. 

I  thought  that  I  wanted  to  be  good.  So  I  tried 
but  trying  did  not  seem  to  do  any  good ;  I  kept 
trying  and  breaking  down  and  then  making  a  new 
resolution  and  trying  again.  I  asked  Jesus  to  help 
me  but  I  did  not  expect  him  to  or  look  for  his  help. 
Sometimes  I  would  give  up  and  then  I  would  think 
that  I  would  try  once  more.     So  it  went  on. 

I  joined  the  church  and  yet  was  not  sure  that  I 
was  saved.  I  prayed  Jesus  to  forgive  my  sins  but  I 
did  not  understand  that  I  needed  to  be  forgiven 
and  saved. 

It  did  not  change  while  we  staid  in  Fredonia 
which  was  about  a  year  and  a  half. 

We  went  to  Leavenworth  and  it  went  on  just  the 
same.      We   were    in    Leavenworth    four    or    five 


ETHEL   PERKINS.  26 1 

months  before  we  came  down  here.  We  arrived 
here  the  15th  of  August.  A  Methodist  preacher 
came  here  the  first  part  of  October  (1886)  whose 
name  was  Mr.  Shiras.  The  week  after  Brother 
Shiras  came  here  we  had  special  meetings  every 
evening  and  at  the  first  meeting  we  had  I  saw  my 
need  of  a  Savior.  That  night  as  I  lay  in  the  bed 
thinking  and  praying  I  heard  a  voice  as  plain  as  I 
ever  heard  any  one  speak  saying  ''  Thy  sins  are 
forgiven  thee."  I  think  I  must  have  felt  a  great 
deal  happier  than  the  people  were  in  the  olden 
times  when  Jesus  healed  them.  After  that  I  some- 
times spoke  crossly  and  impatiently  and  did  some 
things  that  were  not  right.  I  thought  at  first  that 
it  could  not  be  that  I  was  saved  but  I  was  so  sure 
that  Jesus  had  forgiven  me  that  I  could  not  think 
that  long,  but  I  had  to  keep  going  to  Jesus  to  be 
forgiven. 

I  heard  Brother  Shiras  talk  about  the  blessing  of 
holiness  and  I  wanted  that  for  I  did  want  to  live  so 
that  I  would  not  have  to  keep  going  to  Jesus  to  be 
forgiven. 

I  did  not  want  it  at  first  enough  to  ask  anyone 
how  to  get  it.  I  waited  till  I  could  not  wait  any 
longer  and  then  I  asked  Brother  Shiras  how  to  get. 
it  and  he  told  me  plainly  so  that  I  could  understand. 
I  went  away  trusting  Jesus  to  so  fill  me  with  his 
love  that  I  would  not  want  to  do  anything  wrong. 
Next  morning  when  I  woke  I  was  full,  heaped  up 


262  FORTY   WITNESSES. 

and  brimming  over  with  love  and  happiness.  I 
knew  that  Jesus  was  in  my  heart  and  that  he  would 
keep  watch  and  if  any  kind  of  evil  should  look  in  he 
would  be  sure  to  see  it  and  tell  me  about  it.  I  was 
so  happy  Oh  so  very  happy.  About  two  weeks 
after  one  morning  the  joy  w^as  gone  but  I  trusted 
Jesus  and  three  days  after  this  the  joy  came  back. 
The  peace  and  love  had  not  been  gone  at  all. 

I  did  not  speak  in  the  meetings  and  the  last 
meeting  we  had  I  did  not  speak  in  and  the  morning 
after  I  felt  all  my  peace  and  joy  was  gone  and  I 
asked  Jesus  to  show  me  what  was  the  matter  and 
that  morning  the  chapter  read  was  the  fourteenth 
of  St  Mark,  and  as  Brother  Shiras  read  those  words 
all  the  joy  and  peace  came  back. 

ETHEL  PERKINS. 

SiMONA,  FLA../W/6'  26,   1887. 


BISHOP  C.   D.   FOSS,   LL.D.  263 


VI. 

BISHOP   C.  D.    FOSS,  LL.D. 

(METHODIST.) 
MY    EXPERIENCE    IN    SICKNESS. 

,r^N  the  first  anniversary  of  an  injury  which  seemed 
T  sHght,  but  proved  very  serious,  I  feel  moved  to 
offer  special  thanksgiving  to  Him  "  in  whose  hand 
my  breath  is."  ''  What  shall  I  render  unto  the  Lord 
for  all  his  benefits?  "  I  can  at  least  swell  the  chorus 
of  his  praise  by  the  addition  of  one  unworthy  note. 
The  first  Sabbath  in  February,  1882,  I  spent  in  a 
prairie  village,  to  which  I  had  volunteered  to  go  in 
the  hope  of  being  a  peace-maker  between  the 
factions  of  a  discordant  church.  After  preaching 
on  Saturday  evening  and  Sunday  morning,  holding 
a  love-feast,  administering  the  Lord's  Supper,  and 
addressing  the  Sunday-school,  while  I  was  walking 
rapidly  toward  the  place  for  the  evening  service, 
within  fifty  feet  of  the  door  a  misstep  gave  my  foot 
a  fearful  wrench  and  (as  was  not  known  until  three 
months  later)  broke  the  smaller  bone  of  the  leg. 
After  a  few  minutes  of  excruciating  pain  I  managed 
to  hobble  into  the  hall,  and,  sitting  in  a  chair, 
preached  on  personal  religious  experience — a  sub- 


264  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

ject  on  which  I  am  better  informed  now  than  I  was 
then. 

On  February  5  my  health  seemed  perfect,  as  it 
had  almost  always  been.  For  twenty-seven  years 
no  sickness  had  kept  me  in  my  bed  a  single  day. 
Then  came  ten  weeks  of  failing  strength,  alarming 
symptoms  in  my  foot,  the  slow  and  painfully  reluc- 
tant surrender  of  one  after  another  of  my  Confer- 
ences and  other  appointments  for  work  ;  then 
typhoid  fever,  seventy-five  days  in  my  room  (includ- 
ing a  month  of  oblivion)  ;  then  the  slow,  O  how 
slow !  creeping  back  from  the  gates  of  the  grave. 

I  had  always  preached  a  pretty  high  doctrine  of 
providential  and  gracious  help,  of  resignation  and  of 
joyful  acquiescence  in  the  will  of  God  ;  too  high,  some 
of  my  friends  thought.  I  was  sometimes  told  that 
experience  would  very  likely  moderate  my  state- 
ments on  these  subjects.  Noiv  I  know  what  I  then 
believed.  The  teaching  was  true.  I  have  been 
promoted  into  a  higher  class  in  the  school  of  Christ, 
the  sufferer's,  and  I  have  no  fault  to  find  with  the 
great  Teacher. 

One  of  the  delightful  experiences  of  my  sickness 
(not  creditable  to  me  as  being  a  surprise)  was  that 
in  every  strait  I  always  found  Jesus  on  the  spot 
all  cad  of  me.  I  never  had  to  wait  for  him  nor  look 
around  for  him.  Such  assurances  as  these  kept 
chiming  in  my  soul  like  silver  bells  :  "  Even  there 
shall  thy  hand  lead  me,  and  thy  right  hand  shall 


BISHOr   C.    D.    FOSS,    LL.D.  265 

hold  me,"  **  A  very  present  help  in  trouble,"  "  Be- 
fore they  call  I  will  answer,"  "  Lo,  I  am  with  you 
alway."  At  no  time  did  I  have  to  struggle  for  com- 
fort of  mind  or  for  any  thing  else.  Every  thing  was 
ready  at  my  hand,  more  than  I  would  have  dared  to 
ask.  When  I  was  slipping  downward  little  by  little 
toward  the  grave,  sickness  and  death  seemed  to  me 
the  easiest  and  most  natural  things  in  the  world  ; 
but  when  the  outlook  changed,  and  convalescence 
began,  this  life  looked  magnificent.  I  would  not 
have  cha!iged  places  with  Gabriel ;  to  be  able  to 
lay  hold  of  God's  work  again  with  both  hands 
would  make  earth  a  heaven. 

When,  after  long  confinement,  the  fever  smote 
me,  and  I  thought  it  probable  that  the  beginning 
of  the  end  had  come,  I  was  taken  ''up  into  a 
mountain  apart,"  and  found  my  Tabor.  A  certain 
Wednesday  was  my  diamond  of  days,  and  its  splen- 
dor was  followed  by  the  serener  glory  of  other  days 
scarcely  less  memorable.  I  was  filled  and  thrilled 
with  an  altogether  indescribable  sense  of  the  absolute 
verity  of  the  great  Christian  beliefs  and  of  the  mag- 
nificent privilege  of  having  any  place  in  the  king- 
dom of  God.  It  was  superb  to  be,  do,  suffer  any 
thing  to  please  him.  The  dying  w^ords  of  Dr.  Rob- 
erts, the  well-known  Baltimore  local  preacher,  came 
often  to  my  lips.  When  an  anxious  friend  who 
feared  that  he  would  quickly  exhaust  his  failing 
strength   said  to   him,   "Don't   shout  so;    whisper 


266  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

what  you  wish  to  say,"  he  answered,  **  Let  angels 
whisper  ;  redeemed  men  must  shout."  Many  a  time 
the  walls  of  my  chamber  echoed  those  words  in  no 
whispered  tone.  .  And  yet  my  friends  know  that  my 
religious  experience,  while  sometimes  highly  emo- 
tional, is  rarely  demonstrative. 

A  month  later,  at  another  v^ery  critical  stage  of  my 
illness,  I  was  led  most  delightfully  in  a  very  different 
path.  Again  and  again  it  occurred  to  me  what  a 
happy  outcome  of  my  sickness  it  would  be  if  the 
Saviour  should  come  into  my  room  in  visible  form 
and  instantly  heal  me.  I  knew  if  he  should  come 
and  say,  ''  What  wdlt  thou  ?  "  my  quick  reply  would 
be,  "  Lord  make  me  perfectly  whole  and  perfectly 
holy."  I  did  not  pray  for  such  a  miracle,  nor  wish 
it ;  but  day  after  day  in  my  quiet  afternoon  hours 
the  inspiring  thought  kept  coming,  ''  How  grand 
a  testimony  it  would  be  if,  in  these  skeptical  times,  I 
might  go  forth  proclaiming  that  in  a  single  moment 
the  audible  word  of  the  visible  Christ  had  perfectly 
cured  me  of  a  severe  sprain  a  broken  bone,  typhoid 
fever,  and  prostrating  weakness;  and  if  my  testi- 
mony should  be  so  confirmed  by  that  of  physicians 
and  friends  as  to  be  lifted  above  the  possibility  of 
scientific  doubt!"  At  length,  when  this  thought 
had  grown  so  familiar  that  the  realization  of  it 
would  hardly  have  surprised  me,  there  came  in  place 
of  it  a  strong  impression  (like  an  audible  voice, 
and  yet  there  was  no  voice),  sealing  on  my  mind  as 


BISHOP   C.    D.    FOSS,    LL.D.  267 

never  before  the  words, ''  Thomas,  because  thou  hast 
seen  me  thou  hast  beheved.  Blessed  [I  have  always 
thought  that  means  more  blessed]  are  they  that 
have  not  seen  and  yet  have  believed."  The  de- 
licious fancy  of  a  possible  miracle  gave  place  to  the 
solid  fact  of  the  greater  blessedness  of  that  dispen- 
sation of  providence  and  grace  which  can  transform 
and  glorify  all  suffering;  and  this  was  a  wondrous 
sweetener  of  my  long  trial. 

"  O  that  men  would  praise  the  Lord  for  his  good- 
ness, and  for  his  wonderful  works  to  the  children  of 

men!" 

C.  D.  FOSS. 

Minneapolis,  Minn.,  Feb:  5,  1883. 


268  FORTY  WITNESSES. 


VII, 

DWIGHT  L.  MOODY;^ 

(CONGREGATIOxNAL.) 

lA  T  the  summer  school  for  Bible  study,  held  at 
J  Mount  Hermon,  Moody  addressed  the  boys' 
class  and  answered  questions. 

The  subject  of  '*  Induement  of  Power "  was 
before  the  class ;  the  necessity  of  it  for  service  was 
urged.  Moody  said,  ''  No  need  to  stop  your  work 
in  order  to  wait  for  this  induement  of  power,  but 
do  not  be  satisfied  until  you  get  it. 

"  Let  it  be  the  cry  of  your  heart  day  and  night. 
.  .  .  Young  men,  you  will  get  this  blessing  when 
you  seek  it  above  all  else.  There  will  be  no 
trouble  about  knowing  when  you  have  got  it. 

"  We  should  not  have  to  wait  long  for  this  bap- 
tism of  the  Spirit  if  we  did  not  have  to  come  to 
the  end  of  ourselves.  This  sometimes  is  a  long 
road. 

'^  If  God  were  to  indue  us  with  power  when  we 
were  full  of  conceit  we  should  become  vain  as  pea- 
cocks, and  there  would  be  no  living  near  us."  Mr. 
Moody  then  told  his  experience — a  thing  which  he 
is  not  greatly  given  to  do. 

■ iit  ■ 

*  Taken  from    T/ie  Christian^  London,  England,  August  26,  18S6. 


DWIGIIT   L.    MOODY.  269 

''This  blessing  came  upon  me,"  he  said,  ''suddenly, 
like  a  flash  of  lightning.  For  months  I  had  been 
hungering  and  thirsting  for  power  in  service.  I  had 
come  to  that  point  that  I  think  I  would  have  died 
if  I  had  not  got  it.  I  remember  I  was  walking  the 
streets  of  New  York.  I  had  no  more  heart  in  the 
business  I  was  about  than  if  I  had  not  belonged  to 
this  world  at  all.  Right  there,  on  the  street,  the 
power  of  God  seemed  to  come  upon  me  so  won- 
derfully that  I  had  to  ask  God  to  stay  his  hand.  I 
was  filled  with  a  sense  of  God's  goodness,  and  felt 
as  though  I  could  take  the  wdiole  world  to  my 
heart.  I  took  the  old  sermon  that  I  had  preached 
before  without  any  power  ;  it  was  the  same  old 
truth,  but  there  was  a  new  power.  Many  were 
impressed  and  converted.  This  happened  years 
after  I  w^as  converted  myself. 

"  It  was  in  the  fall  of  187 1.  I  had  been  very  anx- 
ious to  have  a  large  Sunday-school  and  a  large  con- 
gregation, but  there  were  few^  conversions.  I 
remember  I  used  to  take  a  pride  in  having  the 
largest  congregation  in  Chicago  on  a  Sunday  night. 
Two  godly  women  used  to  come  and  hear  me. 
One  of  them  came  to  me  one  night  after  I  had 
preached  very  satisfactorily,  as  I  thought.  I 
fancied  she  was  going  to  congratulate  me  on  my 
success;  but  she  said,  'We  are  praying  for  you.* 
I  wondered  if  I  had  made  some  blunder,  that  they 
talked  in  that  way. 


270  FORTY    WITNESSES. 

"Next  Sunday  night  they  were  there  again,  evi- 
dently in  prayer  while  I  was  preaching.  One  of 
them  said,  *  We  are  still  praying  for  you.'  I  could 
not  understand  it,  and  said,  *  Praying  for  me  !  Why 
don't  you  pray  for  the  people?  I  am  all  right.' 
'  Ah '  they  said,  '  you  are  not  all  right ;  you 
have  not  got  power ;  there  is  something  lacking, 
but  God  can  qualify  you.'  I  did  not  like  it  at  first, 
but  I  got  to  thinking  it  over,  and  after  a  little  time 
I  began  to  feel  a  desire  to  have  what  they  were 
praying  for. 

"  They  continued  to  pray  for  me,  and  the  result 
was  that  at  the  end  of  three  months  God  sent  this 
blessing  on  me.  I  want  to  tell  you  this  :  I  would 
not  for  the  whole  world  go  back  to  where  I  was 
before  1871.  Since  then  I  have  never  lost  the 
assurance  that  I  am  walking  in  communion  with 
God,  and  I  have  a  joy  in  his  service  that  sustains 
me  and  makes  it  easy  work.  I  believe  I  was  an 
older  man  then  than  I  am  now ;  I  have  been  grow- 
ing younger  ever  since.  I  used  to  be  very  tired 
when  preaching  three  times  a  week;  now  I  can 
preach  five  times  a  day  and  never  get  tired  at  all. 
I  have  done  three  times  the  work  I  did  before,  and 
it  gets  better  and  better  every  year.  It  is  so  easy 
to  do  a  thing  when  love  prompts  you.  It  would  be 
better,  it  seems  to  me,  to  go  and  break  stone  than 
to  take  to  preaching  in  a  professional  spirit." 


PROF.   T.   C.    urn  AM,   D.D.  2/1 


VIII. 

PROF.  T.  C.  UPHAM,  D.D.* 

(CONGREGATIONALIST.) 

TN  the  spring  of  1815,  in  connection  with  a  remark- 
J^  able  revival  which  took  place  in  Dartmouth  Col- 
lege, I  suppose  that  I  experienced  religion.  About 
three  years  afterward  I  made  a  profession  of  re- 
ligion in  the  Congregational  Church.  Accordingly, 
I  have  been  a  public  professor  of  religion  ever  since 
that  time.  During  the  greater  part  of  that  long 
period  I  believe  that  I  have  striven  earnestly  for 
high  religious  attainments.  For  various  reasons 
however,  and  particularly  the  discouraging  influence 
of  the  prevalent  doctrine  that  personal  sanctification 
cannot  fully  take  place  till  death,  I  did  not  per- 
manently attain  the  object  of  my  desires.  Some- 
times, it  is  true,  I  advanced  much,  and  then  again 
was  thrown  back,  living  what  may  be  called  the 
common  Christian  life  of  sinning  and  repenting,  of 
alternate  walking  with  God  and  devotedness  to  the 
world.  This  method  of  living  was  highly  unsatis- 
factory to  me,  as  it  has  often  been  to  others.  It 
seemed  exceedingly  dangerous  to  risk  my  soul  in 

*  From  Pioneer  Experiences. 


272  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

eternity  in  such  a  state  as  this.  In  this  state  of 
mind  I  was  led,  early  in  the  summer  of  1839,  by  a 
series  of  special  providences,  which  it  is  here  un- 
necessary to  detail,  to  examine  the  subject  of 
personal  holiness  as  a  matter  of  personal  realization. 
I  examined  the  subject,  as  I  thought,  prayerfully, 
candidly,  and  faithfully — looking  at  the  various 
objections  as  well  as  the  multiplied  evidences — and 
came,  ultimately,  to  the  undoubting  conclusion  that 
God  required  me  to  be  holy,  that  he  had  made 
provision  for  it,  and  that  it  was  both  my  duty  and 
privilege  to  be  so.  The  establishment  of  my  belief 
in  this  great  doctrine  was  followed  by  a  number  of 
pleasing  and  important  results. 

I.  As  soon  as  I  had  become  established  in  the 
belief  of  present  holiness  I  felt  a  great  increase  of 
obligation  to  be  holy.  Many  secret  excuses  for  sin, 
which  had  formerly  paralyzed  my  efforts,  now  lost 
their  power.  The  logic  in  the  case  was  very  simple. 
God  requires  me  to  be  holy  now,  and  as  he  can  re- 
quire nothing  unreasonable  I  am  under  obligation 
to  be  holy  now.  I  could  not  turn  to  the  right  hand 
nor  to  the  left.  I  knew  instinctively  and  most 
certainly  that  God  did  not  and  could  not  require 
impossibilities.  I  considered  his  command  as  in- 
volving an  implied  promise  to  help  me  to  fulfill  it.  I 
felt,  moreover,  that  every  moment's  delay  was  adding 
transgression  to  transgression,  and  was  exceedingly 
offensive  in  the  sight  of  God.    Accordingly,  within  a 


PROF.    T.    C.    UPIIAM,    D.D.  273 

very  few  days  after  rejecting  the  common  doctrine 
that  sanctification  is  fully  attainable  only  in  the 
article  of  death,  and  receiving  the  doctrine  of  the 
possibility  and  duty  of  present  holiness,  I  conse- 
crated myself  to  God,  body  and  spirit,  deliberately, 
voluntarily,  and  forever.  I  had  \:ommunicated  my 
purpose  to  no  human  being.  There  was  nothing 
said;  nothing  written.  It  was  a  simple  volition  ;  a 
calm  and  unchangeable  resolution  of  mind  ;  a  pur- 
pose silently  but  irrevocably  made,  and  such  as  any 
Christian  is  capable  of  making.  But,  simple  as  it 
was,  I  regard  it  as  a  crisis  in  my  moral  being  which 
has,  perhaps,  affected  my  eternal  destiny.  I  acknowl- 
edge that  I  took  this  important  step  in  comparative 
darkness— that  is  to  say,  clouds  were  round  about 
me,  and  I  went  by  faith  rather  than  by  sight ;  but 
I  had  an  unwavering  confidence  in  God,  that  he 
would  in  his  own  time  and  way  carry  me  through 
and  give  me  the  victory.  This  important  decision 
was  made  in  the  summer  of  1839,  ^^^  about  the 
middle  of  July.  Two  almost  immediate  and  marked 
results  followed  this  act  of  consecration.  The  one 
was  an  immediate  removal  of  that  sense  of  condem- 
nation which  had  followed  me  for  many  years  and 
had  filled  my  mind  with  sorrow.  The  other  result, 
which  also  almost  immediately  followed,  was  a  great 
increased  value  and  love  of  the  Bible.  It  required 
no  great  effort  of  reasoning  to  perceive  that,  in  doing 

the  whole  will  of  God,  which  had  become  the  fixed 
18 


274  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

purpose  of  my  life,  I  must  take  the  Bible  for  my 
guide.  As  I  opened  and  read  its  pages  from  day  to 
day,  its  great  truths  disclosed  themselves  to  my 
mind  with  an  impressiveness  and  beauty  unknown 
before.  And  this  result,  independently  of  the  aid 
implied  in  the  bibHcal  promise  that  those  who  do 
the  will  of  God  shall  understand  his  communication, 
was  what  might  have  naturally  and  reasonably  been 
expected.  Before  this  time,  reading  every  where 
my  own  condemnation,  I  had  insensibly  but  volun- 
tarily closed  my  eyes  to  the  doctrine  of  present 
holiness  which  shines  forth  so  brightly  and  contin- 
ually from  the  sacred  pages.  But  now  I  found  holi- 
ness every  where,  and  I  felt  that  I  began  to  love  it. 
2.  I  now  proceed  to  mention  some  other  changes 
of  mind  which  I  soon  passed  through.  In  Decem- 
ber of  this  year,  1839,  ^  visited  the  city  of  New 
York  on  business  which  brought  me  into  commu- 
nication with  certain  persons  who  belonged  to  the 
Methodist  denomination.  I  was  providentially  led 
to  form  an  acquaintance  with  other  pious  Methodists, 
and  was  exceedingly  happy  in  attending  a  number  of 
meetings  which  had  exclusive  reference  to  the  doc- 
trine of  holiness  and  to  personal  holy  experience. 
In  these  meetings  I  took  the  liberty,  although  com- 
paratively a  stranger,  to  profess  myself  a  believer  in 
the  doctrine  of  holiness  and  a  seeker  after  it.  And 
I  found  myself  greatly  encouraged  and  aided  by  the 
judicious  remarks,  the  prayers  and  the  sympathies 


PROF.    T.    C.    UPHAM,    D.D.  275 

of  a  number  of  beloved  Christian  friends.  As  I 
now  perceive,  the  great  difficulty  at  this  time  in  the 
way  of  my  victorious  progress  was  my  ignorance  of 
the  important  principle  that  sanctification,  as  well  as 
justification,  is  by  faith.  By  consecrating  myself  to 
God  I  had  put  myself  into  a  favorable  condition  to 
exercise  faith  ;  but  I  had  never  understood  and  felt 
the  imperative  necessity  of  this  exercise,  namely  of 
faith  as  a  sanctifying  instrumentality.  My  Meth- 
odist friends,  to  whom  this  view  was  familiar,  gave 
me,  in  the  spirit  of  Christian  kindness,  much  in- 
struction and  assistance  here,  for  which  I  desire  to 
be  grateful  to  them.  I  found  that  I  must  give  up 
the  system,  already  too  long  cherished,  of  walking 
by  signs  and  manifestations  and  sensible  experi- 
ences, and  must  commit  every  thing,  in  light  and  in 
darkness,  in  joy  and  in  sorrow,  into  the  hands  of 
God.  Realizing,  accordingly,  that  I  must  have 
greater  faith  in  God  as  the  fulfiller  of  his  promises 
and  as  the  pledged  and  everlasting  portion  of  those 
who  put  their  trust  in  him,  and  aided  by  the  kind- 
ness and  supplications  of  Christian  friends,  I  in^^ome 
degree  (and  perhaps  I  may  say  in  a  very  consider- 
able degree)  gained  the  victory.  I  shall  ever  rec- 
ollect the  time.  It  was  early  on  Friday  morning, 
the  27th  of  December.  The  evening  previous  had 
been  spent  in  deeply  interesting  conversation  and 
in  prayer  on  the  subject  of  holiness,  and  with  par- 
ticular reference  to  myself.     Soon  after   I   awoke  in 


276  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

the  morning  I  found  that  my  mind,  without  having 
experienced  any  very  remarkable  manifestations  or 
ecstasies,  had,  nevertheless,  undergone  a  great  moral 
revolution.  I  was  removed  from  the  condition  of  a 
servant  and  adopted  into  that  of  a  son.  I  believed 
and  felt,  in  a  sense  which  I  had  never  experienced 
before,  that  my  sins  were  all  blotted  out,  were 
wholly  forgiven,  and  that  Christ  was  not  only  the 
Saviour  of  mankind  in  general,  but  my  Christ,  my 
Saviour  in  particular,  and  that  God  was  my  Father. 
As  I  have  observed,  I  had  no  ecstasy,  but  great  and 
abiding  peace  and  consolation. 

3.  I  mark  here  another  step  in  the  progress  of 
this  important  contest.  Under  the  influence  of  the 
feelings  which  I  have  just  described  I  consecrated 
myself  anew  to  God  in  a  more  specific  and  solemn 
manner.  I  now  made  a  written  record  of  my  con- 
secration, which  I  had  not  done  before.  But,  while 
it  seemed  to  me  that  I  sincerely  endeavored  to  give 
up  all,  I  was  unable  as  yet,  in  consequence,  proba- 
bly, of  some  lingering  remains  of  unbelief,  or  because 
God  in  his  wise  sovereignty  was  pleased  to  try  a 
little  longer  the  faith  which  he^had  given  me,  to 
speak  confidently  of  my  sanctification.  I  would  take 
the  liberty  to  say  here  that  I  do  not  consider  con- 
secration and  sanctification  the  same  thing.  Conse- 
cration is  the  incipient,  the  prerequisite  act.  It  is 
the  laying  of  ourselves  upon  the  altar;  but  it  is  not 
till    God   has   accepted   the   sacrifice,   and   wrought 


2/7 

upon  us  by  the  consuming  and  restoring  work  of 
the  Holy  Spirit,  that  we  can  be  said  to  be  sancti- 
fied. It  is  true  that  the  one  may  immediately  and 
almost  simultaneously  follow  the  other;  and  this 
will  be  the  case  where  faith  in  God  is  perfect. 
But  this  was  not  the  case  with  me.  But  I 
was  now,  however,  by  the  grace  of  God,  in  a 
position  where  I  had  new  strength,  and  could  plead 
the  promise  with  much  greater  confidence  than  for- 
merly. God  had  given  me  great  blessings,  such  as 
a  new  sense  of  forgiveness,  increased  love,  a  clear 
evidence  of  adoption  and  worship,  closer  and  deeper 
communion  with  himself,  but  I  felt  there  was  some- 
thing remaining  to  be  experienced. 

In  this  state  of  mind,  not  having  fully  attained 
the  object  of  my  expectations  and  wishes,  but  still 
greatly  in  advance  of  my  former  Christian  ex- 
perience, and  with  a  fixed  determination  to  per- 
severe, I  left  the  city  of  New  York  about  the  mid- 
dle of  January,  1840.  Immediately  after  my  arrival 
at  my  residence,  in  the  State  of  Maine,  I  united  with 
some  Methodist  brethren  in  establishing  a  meeting 
similar  to  those  which  had  benefited  me  so  much 
in  New  York,  for  the  purpose  of  promoting  personal 
godliness,  and  which  was  designed  to  be  open  to 
persons  of  all  denominations  of  Christians.  This 
meeting  was  very  encouraging  to  me  and  to  others. 
Nevertheless,  I  was  not  able  for  about  two  weeks  to 
profess  the  personal  experience  and  realization  of 


2/8  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

the  great  blessing  of  holiness  as  it  seemed  to  be  ex- 
perienced and  realized  in  others.  The  principal 
difficulty,  as  I  daily  examined  my  heart  to  see  how 
the  case  stood  between  my  soul  and  God,  seemed  to 
be  a  consciousness,  while  other  evils  were  greatly  or 
entirely  removed,  of  the  remains  of  selfishness.  In- 
deed, at  this  particular  time  the  selfish  principle, 
or  rather  the  principle  of  self-love,  in  its  inordinate 
and  unholy  exercise,  seemed  to  be  stimulated  to 
unwonted  activity.  The  remains  of  every  form  of 
internal  opposition  to  God  appeared  to  be  centered 
in  one  point  and  to  be  prosecuted  in  one  aspect.  I  do 
not  know  that  I  was  ever  more  troubled,  during  so 
short  a  space  of  time,  with  feelings  of  this  nature.  I 
do  not  mean  to  say  that  I  was  more  selfish  at  this 
time  than  ever  before ;  by  no  means.  But  the 
existence  and  horrible  nature  of  this  state  of  mind 
were  more  fully  brought  to  view.  I  took  this  en- 
couragement, however :  that  God  was  perhaps  now 
showing  me,  as  he  often  does  when  he  is  about  to 
bless  with  entire  holiness  of  heart,  the  very  root  of 
evil ;  and  I  was  sincerely  desirous  to  see  it  and  to 
know  it,  that  it  might  be  slain  in  his  presence.  The 
good  hand  of  the  Lord  was  pleased  to  sustain  my 
faith  in  this  sharp  contest.  My  continual  prayer  to 
God  was  that  he  would  enable  me  to  love  him  with 
all  my  heart.  I  knew  not  fully  what  the  nature  of 
perfect  love  was  ;  but  my  prayer  was  that  this  love, 
whatever  might  be  its  nature  and  its  inward  mani- 


TROF.   T.    C.    UPIIAM,    D.D.  279 

festation,  might  in  God's  time  and  way  be  realized 
within  me.  And  in  the  answer  to  this  prayer,  when- 
ever it  should  be  given,  I  confidently  foresaw  the 
termination  of  this  internal  conflict  ;  for  selfish- 
ness can  never  exist  in  union  with  perfect  love. 

On  Sabbath  evening,  the  2d  of  February,  I  was 
greatly  afflicted  in  mind  ;  tossed  to  and  fro  as  in  a 
tempest ;  and  it  seemed  to  me  that  I  could  not 
easily  stand  where  I  was,  but  must  either  advance 
or  retreat.  But  God's  grace  was  sufficient.  My 
faith  remained  unshaken,  and  on  Monday  morning 
I  thought  I  could  say  with  great  calmness  and  as- 
surance, ''  Thou  hast  given  me  the  victory."  I  was 
never  able  before  that  time  to  say  with  sincerity  and 
confidence  that  I  loved  my  heavenly  Father  with 
all  my  soul  and  with  all  my  strength.  But,  aided 
by  divine  grace,  I  have  been  enabled  to  use  this 
language,  which  involves,  as  I  understand  it, 
the  true  idea  of  Christian  perfection  or  holiness, 
both  then  and  ever  since.  There  was  no  intellect- 
ual excitement,  no  very  marked  joy,  when  I  reached 
this  great  rock  of  practical  salvation.  The  soul 
seemed  to  have  gathered  strength  from  the  storm 
which  it  had  passed  through  on  the  previous  night, 
and,  aided  by  a  power  from  on  high,  it  leaped  for- 
ward, as  it  were  by  a  bound,  to  the  great  and  de- 
cisive mark.  I  was  distinctly  conscious  when  I 
reached  it.  The  selfish  exercises  which  had  recent- 
ly, and,  as  it  were,  by  a  concentrated  and  spasmodic 


280  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

effort,  troubled  me  so  much,  seemed  to  be  at  once 
removed  ;  and  I  believed,  and  had  reason  to  believe, 
that  my  heart,  presumptuous  as  it  may  appear  to 
some  to  say  it,  was  now  purified  by  the  Holy  Spirit 
and  made  right  with  God.  I  was  thus,  if  I  was  not 
mistaken  in  my  feeling,  no  longer  an  offering  to  tVe 
world,  but  sanctified  unto  the  Lord  ;  given  to  him 
to  be  his,  and  no  longer  my  own  ;  redeemed  by  a 
mighty  power,  and  filled  with  the  blessing  of  "  per- 
fect love." 

4.  The  enemy  might  now  be  said  to  be  cast  out 
of  the  interior  of  the  castle.  Nevertheless,  he  has 
never  ceased  his  hostility.  He  has  laid  his  snares 
and  presented  his  temptations.  It  would  be  pre- 
sumption to  assert  postively  that  I  had  never  in  any 
case,  nor  for  any  length  of  time,  yielded  to  his 
power.  But  I  can  testify  abundantly  to  the  good- 
ness of  God's  grace,  that  he  has  heard  the  voice  of 
my  prayer  and  in  a  wonderful  manner  preserved 
me.  Certain  it  is  that  my  spiritual  life  has  been  a 
new  life.  There  is  calm  sunshine  upon  the  soul. 
The  praise  of  God  is  continually  upon  my  lips. 

I  have  continually  what  seems  to  me  to  be  the 
witness  of  the  Holy  Spirit — that  is  to  say,  I  have  a 
firm  and  abiding  conviction  that  I  am  wholly  the 
Lord's,  which  does  not  seem  to  be  introduced  into 
the  mind  by  reasoning  nor  by  any  methods  what- 
ever of  forced  and  self-made  reflection,  and  which  I 
can  ascribe  only  to  the  Spirit  of  God.     It  is  a  sort 


PROF.    T.    C.    UPHAM,   D.D.  28 1 

of  interior  voice,  which  speaks  silently  but  effectively 
to  the  soul  and  bids  me  be  of  good  cheer.  At 
times,  especially  on  the  14th  of  February,  1840,  I  ex- 
perienced some  remarkable  operations  on  my  mind, 
which  made  a  profound  and  lasting  impression. 
Laneuacre  would  be  but  a  feeble  instrument  in  de- 
tailing  them,  and  I  will  not  attempt  it.  Indeed,  I 
do  not  know  but  I  must  say  with  the  apostle, 
''whether  in  the  body  or  out  of  the  body,  I  cannot 
tell."  But  in  view  of  what  I  then  experienced  and 
have  experienced  at  other  times  I  cannot  help  say- 
ing with  the  apostle,  "  God  hath  also  sealed  us,  and 
given  us  the  earnest  of  the  Spirit  in  our  hearts." 

I  could  speak  of  many  remarkable  deliverances  and 
supports  in  time  of  mental  trial.  God  has  ever  been 
with  me,  in  time  of  trouble,  a  "  faithful  God."  But 
these,  and  many  other  things  which  have  called  forth 
the  deep  gratitude  of  my  heart,  I  am  compelled  to 
omit.  I  cannot  refrain  from  saying,  however,  that 
almost  from  the  very  moment  of  my  obtaining  the 
victory  over  those  selfish  feelings  which  have  been 
spoken  of,  I  was  distinctly  conscious  of  a  new  but 
powerful  and  delightful  attraction  toward  the  divine 
mind.  This,  I  believe,  is  a  common  form  of  interior 
experience  among  those  who  have  enjoyed  the 
blessing  of  sanctification.  I  perceived  and  felt  very 
distinctly  that  there  was  a  central  existence,  full  of 
all  glory,  toward  which  the  Spirit  was  tending.  I 
could  realize  the  meaning  of  the  Psalmist,  "  As  the 


282  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

hart  panteth  after  the  water-brooks,  so  panteth  my 
soul  after  thee,  O  God.''  I  felt  like  an  imprisoned 
bird  when  the  string  is  cut  that  bound  it  to  the 
earth,  and  which  soars  upward  and  spreads  its  wings 
to  the  skies.  So  conscious  have  I  been  that  inor- 
dinate self-love  has  been  the  great  cause  of  the 
separation  between  my  soul  and  God  that  the  very 
ideaof  self  as  distinct  from  God  is  almost  painful  to 
me.  When  self  is  destroyed,  the  divine  union, 
which  sanctified  hearts  only  know,  takes  place.  If 
I  know  any  thing  I  know  most  certainly  that  the 
true  resting  place  of  my  soul  is  and  must  be  in  the 
infinite  mind  ;  that  it  is  not  and  cannot  be  anywhere 
else.  Perhaps  no  part  of  the  Scriptures,  during  the 
more  recent  periods  of  my  experience,  has  more  af- 
fected me  than  the  prayer  of  the  Saviour  for  his  di- 
ciples  ''That  they  all  may  be  one ;  as  thou.  Father, 
art  in  me,  and  I  in  thee,  that  they  also  may  be  one 
in  us."  It  is  difficult  for  me  to  conceive  of  any 
heaven  but  God's  presence  ;  of  any  hell  but  his 
absence.  I  realize  that  the  cup  of  my  happiness  is 
full,  whatever  may  be  my  personal  trials  and  sor 
rows,  whenever  and  wherever  my  heavenly  Father 
is  glorified  in  me.  Accordingly  it  is  my  earnest 
and  constant  prayer  that  my  will  may  be  wholly  and 
forever  lost  in  the  will  of  God,  and  that  I  may 
never  know  self  any  more  except  as  the  instrument 
of  divine  glory. 


REV.  ALFRED   COOKMAN.  283 


IX. 

REV.  ALFRED  COOKMAN.* 

(METHODIST.) 

T  WAS  born  January  4,  1828.  When  just  turned 
J^  ten  years  of  age  I  realized  clearly  and  satis- 
factorily the  converting  grace  of  God.  I  shall 
never  forget  the  I2th  of  February,  1838,  the  birth- 
day of  my  eternal  life.  Connecting  myself  imme- 
diately with  the  church  of  my  fathers  I  laid  down 
a  rule  ahvays  to  attend  my  class-meeting.  To  a 
rigid  observance  of  this  rule  during  my  boyhood 
and  youth  I  gratefully  attribute  the  fact  that  I 
have  always  retained  my  place  in  the  Church  of 
God. 

At  the  age  of  eighteen  I  took  up  the  silver 
trumpet  that  had  fallen  from  the  hand  of  my  faith- 
ful father,  and  began  to  preach,  in  my  humble  way, 
the  everlasting  Gospel.  Quitting,  about  this  time, 
one  of  the  happiest  of  homes  to  enter  the  itinerant 
work,  my  excellent  mother  remarked,  just  upon  the 
threshold  of  my  departure,  "  My  son,  if  you  would 
be  supremely  happy,  or  extensively  useful  in  your 
ministry,  you  must  be  an  entirely  sanctified  servant 

*  From  J'ioiifer  Experiences. 


284  FORTY   WITNESSES. 

of  Jesus."  It  was  a  cursory  suggestion,  perhaps 
forgotten  almost  as  soon  as  expressed  ;  neverthe- 
less, applied  by  the  Divine  Spirit,  it  made  the  pro- 
foundest  impression  upon  my  mind  and  heart. 

My  mother's  passing  but  pointed  remark  fol- 
lowed me  like  a  good  angel  as  I  moved  to  and  fro 
in  my  first  sphere  of  itinerant  duty,  namely,  Attic- 
borough  Circuit,  Philadephia  Conference.  Fre- 
quently I  felt  that  I  should  yield  myself  to  God  and 
pray  for  the  grace  of  entire  sanctification  ;  but  then 
the  experience  would  lift  itself  in  my  view  as  a 
mountain  of  glory,  and  I  would  say,  "  It  is  not  for 
me.  I  could  not  possibly  scale  that  shining  sum- 
mit, and,  if  I  might,  my  besetments  and  trials  are 
such  I  could  not  successfully  maintain  so  lofty  a 
position." 

While  thus  exercised  in  mind,  Bishop  Hamline, 
accompanied  by  his  devoted  and  useful  wife,  came 
to  Newtown,  one  of  the  principal  appointments  on 
the  circuit,  that  he  might  dedicate  a  neat  church 
which  we  had  been  erecting  for  the  worship  of 
God.  Remaining  about  a  week,  he  not  only 
preached  again  and  again,  and  always  with  the 
unction  of  the  Holy  One,  but  took  occasion  to  con- 
verse with  me  pointedly  respecting  my  religious 
experience.  His  gentle  and  yet  dignified  bearing, 
devotional  spirit,  beautiful  Christian  exarrtple,  di- 
vinely-illuminated face,  apostolic  labors,  and  fatherly 
counsels,  made  the  profoundest  impression  on  my 


REV.   ALFRED   COOKMAN.  285 

mind  and   heart.     I    heard  him  as   one  sent   from 
God  ;  and  certainly  he  was. 

One  week-day  afternoon,  after  a  most  deh'ghtful 
discourse,  he  urged  us  to  seize  the  opportunity 
and  do  what  we  had  often  desired,  resolved,  and 
promised  to  do;  namely,  as  behevers,  yield  our- 
selves to  God  as  those  who  were  alive  from  the 
dead,  and  from  that  hour  trust  constantly  in  Jesus 
as  our  Saviour  from  all  sin.  I  said,  '*  I  will ;  with 
the  help  of  the  Almighty  Spirit,  I  will."  Kneeling 
by  myself  I  brought  an  entire  consecration  to  the 
altar — that  is,  Christ. 

But  some  one  will  say,  *'  Had  you  not  dedicated 
yourself  to  God  at  the  time  of  your  conversion?" 
I  answer,  ''  Yes  ;  but  with  this  difference  ;  then  I 
brought  to  the  Lord  Jesus  powers  dead  in  tres- 
passes and  sins;  now  I  brought  powers  permeated 
with  the  new  life  of  regeneration.  I  presented 
myself  'a  living  sacrifice.'  Then  I  gave  myself 
away;  but  now,  with  the  increased  illumination 
of  the  Spirit,  I  felt  that  my  surrender  was  more 
intelligent,  specific  and  careful— it  was  my  hands, 
my  feet,  my  senses,  my  attributes  of  mind  and 
heart,  my  hours,  my  energies,  my  reputation,  my 
kindred,  my  worldly  substance,  my  every  thing. 
Then  I  was  anxious  respecting  pardon  ;  but  now 
my  desire  and  faith  compassed  something  more  ; 
I  wanted  the  conscious  presence  of  the  Sanctifier  in 
my  heart." 


286  FORTY   WITNESSES. 

Carefully  consecrating  every  thing,  I  covenanted 
with  my  own  heart  and  with  my  heavenly  Father 
that  this  entire  but  unworthy  offering  should 
remain  upon  the  altar,  and  that  henceforth  I  would 
please  God  by  believing  that  the  altar  (Christ) 
sanctifieth  the  gift.  Do  you  ask  what  was  the 
immediate  effect?  I  answer,  peace — a  broad,  deep, 
full,  satisfying,  and  sacred  peace.  This  proceeded 
not  only  from  the  testimony  of  a  good  conscience 
before  God,  but  likewise  from  the  presence  and 
operation  of  the  Spirit  in  my  heart.  Still  I  could 
not  say  that  I  was  entirely  sanctified,  except  as  I 
had  sanctified  or  set  apart  myself  unto  God. 

The  following  day,  finding  Bishop  and  Mrs. 
Hamline,  I  ventured  to  tell  them  of  my  consecra- 
tion and  faith  in  Jesus,  and  in  the  confession 
realized  increasing  light  and  strength.  A  little 
while  after  it  was  proposed  by  Mrs.  Hamline  that 
we  spend  a  little  season  in  prayer.  Prostrated 
before  God,  one  and  another  prayed,  and  while 
thus  engaged  God  for  Christ's  sake  gave  me  the 
Holy  Spirit  as  I  had  never  received  it  before,  so 
that  I  was  constrained  to  conclude,  and  confess, 

"  Tis  done  !     Thou  dost  this  moment  save, 

With  full  salvation  bless ; 
Redemption  through  thy  blood  I  have, 

And  spotless  love  and  peace." 

The  great  work  of  sanctification  that  I  had  so 
often  prayed  and  hoped  for  was  wrought  in  mc — 


REV.   ALFRED   COOKMAN.  287 

even  in  me.  I  could  not  doubt  it.  The  evidence 
in  my  case  was  as  direct  and  indubitable  as  the 
witness  of  sonship  received  at  the  time  of  my 
adoption  into  the  family  of  heaven,  O  it  was 
glorious,  divinely  glorious ! 

Need  I  say  that  the  experience  of  sanctification 
inaugurated  a  new  epoch  in  my  religious  life?  O, 
what  blessed  rest  in  Jesus  !  what  an  abiding  expe- 
rience of  purity  through  the  blood  of  the  Lamb ! 
what  a  conscious  union  and  constant  communion 
with  God  !  what  increased  power  to  do  or  suffer 
the  will  of  my  Father  in  heaven  !  what  delight  in 
the  Master's  service  !  what  fear  to  grieve  the 
infinitely  holy  Spirit  I  what  love  for,  and  desire  to 
be  with,  the  entirely  sanctified  !  what  joy  in  relig- 
ious conversation  !  what  confidence  in  prayer ! 
what  illumination  in  the  perusal  of  the  sacred  word  ! 
what  increased  unction  in  the  performance  of 
public  duties ! 

O,  that  I  could  conclude  just  here  these  allu- 
sions to  personal  experience  with  the  simple  adden- 
dum that  my  life  to  the^  present  has  answered  to 
the  description  of  "■  endless  progression,  steadied 
by  endless  peace!"  Fidelity  to  truth,  however, 
with  a  solicitude  that  others  may  profit  by  my 
errors,  constrains  me  to  add  another  page  of  per- 
sonal testimony. 

Have  you  never  known  a  sky  full  of  sunshine, 
the    promise    of    a    beautiful    day,    subsequently 


288  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

obscured  by  lowering  clouds  ?  Have  you  never 
known  a  jewel  of  incalculable  value  to  its  owner 
lost  through  culpable  carelessness  ?  Alas  !  that  so 
bright  a  morning  in  my  spiritual  history  should  not 
have  shone  more  and  more  unto  the  perfect  day  ; 
that  I  should  under  any  circumstances  have  care- 
lessly parted  with  this  pearl  of  personal  experience. 

Eight  weeks  transpired — weeks  of  light,  strength, 
love,  and  blessing.  Conference  came  on.  I  found 
myself  in  the  midst  of  beloved  brethren.  Forget- 
ting how  easily  the  infinitely  holy  Spirit  might  be 
grieved,  I  allowed  myself  to  drift  into  the  spirit  of 
the  hour,  and  after  an  indulgence  in  foolish  joking 
and  story-telling  realized  that  I  had  suffered 
serious  loss.  To  my  next  field  of  labor  I  pro- 
ceeded with  consciously-diminished  spiritual  power. 

Perhaps  to  satisfy  my  conscience  I  began  to 
favor  the  arguments  of  those  who  insisted  that 
sanctification  as  a  work  of  the  Holy  Spirit  could 
not  involve  an  experience  distinct  from  regenera- 
tion. O,  how  many  precious  years  I  wasted  in 
quibbling  and  debating  respecting  theological  dif- 
ferences, not  seeing  that  I  was  antagonizing  a  doc- 
trine that  must  be  ''  spiritually  discerned,"  and  the 
tendency  of  which  is  manifestly  to  bring  people 
nearer  to  God  ! 

Meanwhile  I  had  foolishly  fallen  into  the  habit 
of  using  tobacco — an  indulgence  which,  besides  the 
palatable  gratification,  seemed  to  minister  both  to 


REV.   ALFRED    COOKMAN.  289 

my  nervous  and  my  social  nature.  Years  elapsed. 
When  I  would  confront  the  obligation  of  entire  con- 
secration the  sacrifice  of  my  foolish  habit  would 
be  presented  as  a  test  of  obedience.  I  would  con- 
sent. Light,  strength,  and  blessing  were  the 
result.  Afterward  temptation  would  be  presented. 
I  would  listen  to  suggestions  like  these,  "  This 
is  one  of  the  good  things  of  God."  "Your  relig- 
ion does  not  require  a  course  of  asceticism."  "This 
indulgence  is  not  specially  forbidden  on  the  New 
Testament  page."  "  Some  good  people  whom  you 
know  are  addicted  to  this  practice."  Thus  seek- 
ing to  quiet  an  uneasy  conscience  I  would  drift 
back  into  the  old  habit  again.  After  awhile  I 
began  to  see  that  the  indulgence  at  best  was  doubt- 
ful for  me,  and  that  I  was  giving  my  carnality 
rather  than  my  Christian  experience  the  benefit  of 
the  doubt.  It  could  not  really  harm  me  to  give  it 
up,  while  to  persist  in  the  practice  was  costing  me 
too  much  in  my  religious  enjoyments. 

I  found  that,  after  all  my  objections  to  sanctifi- 
cation  as  a  distinct  work  of  grace,  there  was, 
nevertheless,  a  conscious  lack  in  my  own  religious 
experience.  It  was  not  strong,  round,  f^ll,  or 
abiding.  I  frequently  asked  myself,  "  What  is  that 
I  need  and  desire  in  comparison  with  what  I  have 
and  profess  ?  "  I  looked  at  the  three  steps  insisted 
upon  by  the  friends  of  holiness:  namely,  i.  Entire 

consecration ;   2.    Acceptance  of  Jesus  moment  by 
19 


290  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

moment  as  a  perfect  Saviour ;  3  .  A  meek  but 
definite  confession  of  the  grace  received — and  I 
said,  ''These  are  scriptural  and  reasonable  duties." 
The  remembrance  of  my  experience  in  Newtown 
supplied  an  overwhelming  confirmation  of  all  this, 
and  at  the  same  time  a  powerful  stimulus  in  the 
direction  of  duty. 

"What  then?"  I  said,  "  I  will  cast  aside  all  pre- 
conceived theories,  doubtful  indulgences,  culpable 
unbelief,  and  retrace  my  steps." 

Alas !  that  I  should  have  wandered  from  the 
light  at  all  and  afterward  wasted  so  many  years  in 
vacillating  between  self  and  God.  Can  I  ever  for- 
give myself?  O,  what  a  bitter,  bitter  memory! 
The  acknowledgment  that  I  here  make,  con- 
strained by  candor  and  a  concern  for  others,  is 
among  the  greatest  humiliations  of  my  life.  If  I 
had  the  ear  of  those  who  have  entered  into  the 
clearer  light  of  Christian  purity,  I  would  beseech, 
entreat,  supplicate,  and  charge  them,  with  a  broth- 
er's interest  and  earnestness,  that  they  be  warned 
by  my  folly.  O  !  let  such  consent  to  die,  if  it  were 
possible,  a  hundred  deaths,  before  they  willfully 
uepart '  from  the  path  of  holiness;  for  if  they 
retrace  their  steps  there  will  still  be  the  remem- 
brance of  original  purity  tarnished,  and  that  will 
prove  a  drop  of  bitterness  in  the  cup  of  their 
sweetest  comfort. 

Eternal  praise  to  my  long-suffering  Lord  !  Nearly 


REV.   ALFRED   COOKMAN.  29I 

ten  years  have  elapsed  since,  as  the  pastor  of 
Greene  Street  Church,  in  the  city  of  Philadelphia, 
I  again  dedicated  my  all  carefully  and  fully  to 
God ;  the  consecration,  of  course,  including-  the 
doubtful  indulgence.  I  said,  "  I  will  try  and 
abstain  for  Christ's  sake.  I  would  do  any  thing  for 
his  sake ;  and  certainly  I  can  consent  to  this  self- 
denial  that  Jesus  may  be  glorified."  Again  I 
accepted  Christ  as  my  Saviour  from  all  sin  ;  real- 
ized the  witness  of  the  sanctifying  Spirit ;  and 
since  then  I  have  been  walking  ''  in  the  light  as  God 
is  in  the  light,"  have  fellowship  with  the  saints, 
and  humbly  testify  that ''  the  blood  of  Jesus  cleans- 
eth  me  from  all  sin." 

"  As  ye  have,  therefore,  received  Christ  Jesus  the 
Lord,  so  walk  ye  in  him  " — that  is,  as  I  understand, 
continually  repeat  those  exercises  or  duties  you 
performed  when  you  accepted  Christ  as  your  all- 
sufficient  Saviour.  I  received  him  in  a  spirit  of 
entire  consecration,  implicit  faith,  and  humble 
confession.  The  constant  repetition  of  these  three 
steps  enables  me  to  **  walk  in  him."  I  cannot 
afford,  even  for  a  single  moment,  to  remove  my 
offering,  to  fail  in  looking  unto  Jesus,  or  to  part 
with  the  spirit  of  confession. 

Thus  I  have  honestly  unfolded  some  personal 
experiences  in  connection  with  the  doctrine  and 
grace  of  sanctification.  The  recital  humbles  me  in 
the  dust  as  it  calls  up  the  memory  of  years  of  vacil- 


292  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

lating  and  unsatisfactory  religious  life ;  but  it  also 
fills  me  with  the  profoundest  gratitude  for  that 
abounding  mercy  which  fiot  only  bore  with  me, 
but  brought  me  to  see  again  my  privilege  in  the 
Gospel,  and  now,  for  more  than  ten  years,  has  been 
preserving  me  in  the  experience,  and  blessing  me 
in  the  profession,  of  this  great  grace.  Precious 
reader,  I  now  offer  you  this  testimony ;  but, 
remember,  before  it  meets  your  eye  it  has  been 
carefully  placed  upon  the  altar  that  sanctifieth  the 
gift,  and  an  earnest  prayer  offered  that  it  may  be 
blessed  to  your  spiritual  profit. 


REV.  J.   O.   PECK,   D.D.  293 


X. 

REV.  J.  O.  PECK,  D.  D.* 

(METHODIST.) 

T  WAS  converted  in  1856,  in  Vermont,  on  a  mount- 
J^  ain,  alone,  amid  a  terrific-thunder  storm,  after 
only  a  few  minutes'  meditation  upon  the  goodness 
of  God. 

Shortly  afterward  I  felt  clearly  a  call  to  the  minis- 
try. I  went  to  Newbury  Seminary,  Vt.,  but  for  two 
years  did  not  join  the  Church,  as  I  was  trying  to 
shake  off  the  duty  of  the  ministry.  But  in  1858  God 
so  signally  revealed  himself  to  me  in  gracious  power 
at  Lyndonville  camp-meeting  that  I  promised  Him 
I  would  preach  the  Gospel.  I  returned  to  school, 
prepared  a  sermon  at  once,  and  determined  to  put 
the  seal  to  my  vow  without  delay.  I  told  one  of 
the  professors  my  convictions  and  purposes,  and  he 
invited  me  to  go  with  him  to  Mclndoe's  Falls  the 
next  Sabbath  and  preach.  I  did  so,  though  I  was 
not  then  a  member  of  the  Church,  and  had  no 
license  to  preach  but  the  inward  call  of  the  Holy 
Ghost.  I  forthwith,  however,  joined  the  Church  in 
full,  without  probation,  and  was  given  a  local  preach- 
er's license. 

♦Taken  from  Divine  Li/e   and  submitted  to  Dr.  Puck  for  revision. — Ed. 


294  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

In  i860,  while  in  college  at  Amherst,  Mass.,  I 
joined  the  New  England  Conference  and  supplied 
neighboring  churches  till  I  graduated,  in  1862,  and 
was  appointed  to  Chelsea,  Mass.  I  was  pastor  for 
the  next  ten  years  in  Chelsea,  Lowell,  Worcester, 
and  Springfield.  While  pastor  in  Springfield,  in 
1872,  a  memorable  incident  in  my  experience  occur- 
red. I  had  never,  consciously,  lost  my  zeal  or  de- 
votion to  the  Gospel  ministry,  nor  the  evidence  of 
my  assured  salvation  in  Jesus  Christ.  God  never 
left  me  a  single  year  without  a  gracious  revival,  in 
which  many  souls  were  given  as  the  seals  of  my 
ministry.  Never  had  my  pastorate  been  more  fa- 
vored with  the  divine  blessing  than  at  Springfield  ; 
but  in  the  summer  of  1872  a  deep  heart-hunger  that 
I  had  never  known  began  to  be  realized.  I  hardly 
knew  how  to  understand  it.  I  had  not  lost  spirit- 
uality, as  far  as  I  could  judge  of  my  condition.  I 
longed  for  I  scarcely  knew  what.  I  examined  my- 
self and  prayed  more  earnestly,  but  the  hunger  of 
my  soul  grew  more  imperious.  I  was  not  plunged 
in  darkness  or  conscious  of  condemnation  ;  yet  the 
inward  cravings  increased.  The  result  of  these 
weeks  of  heart-throes  was  a  gradual  sinking  of  self, 
a  consuming  of  all  selfish  ambitions  and  purposes, 
and  a  consciousness  of  utter  emptiness.  Then  arose 
an  unutterable  longing  to  be  filled.  I  waited  upon 
the  Lord,  but  he  delayed  his  coming. 

No  matter  how  or  by  whom,  but  I  had  been  prej- 


REV.   J.    O.    PECK,    D.D.  295 

udiced  against  the  National  Camp-meeting  Asso- 
ciation. I  avoided  their  meetings ;  but  in  the  midst 
of  my  longings  of  soul  their  meeting  at  Round  Lake 
in  1872  occurred.  I  had  not  thought  of  attending, 
but  in  the  midst  of  the  meeting  a  conviction  was 
borne  in  upon  me,  as  clear  and  unmistakable  as  my 
identity,  that  if  I  would  go  to  that  meeting  and 
confess  how  I  was  hungering  after  more  of  salvation 
I  would  be  filled.  To  my  surprise,  and  as  a  proof 
that  my  sincerity  was  genuine,  I  found  no  prejudice 
rising  up,  but  a  longing  to  go.  I  conferred  not 
with  flesh  and  blood,  got  excused  from  officiating 
at  an  important  wedding,  and  started  the  next  day. 
I  arrived  near  evening,  and  as  I  had  but  that 
night  and  the  next  day  before  returning  to  my  pul- 
pit I  resolved  to  waste  no  time.  At  once  I  told 
the  leaders  of  the  meeting  my  purpose  and  errand. 
I  seemed  to  be  near  to  Peniel,  and  my  soul  was  im- 
patient. After  a  sermon  (by  whom  I  forget,  for  men 
were  eclipsed  in  my  yearning  to  see  ''Jesus  only,") 
I  asked  the  privilege  of  saying  a  few  words.  Many 
old  friends  were  present,  but  I  felt  no  hesitation,  so 
fully  was  I  possessed  by  the  desire  to  know  "  the 
length,  breadth,  depth  and  height "  of  the  love  of 
God.  I  frankly  told  my  errand  there,  and  sought 
the  prayers  of  all.  I  told  them  I  wanted  "the 
fullness"  that  night,  and  felt  it  was  the  Divine 
will  to  give  it  that  hour.  I  then  descended  to  the 
altar  and    knelt  with    others    before  the    Lord.     I 


296  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

knew  what  I  came  for,  believed  it  the  will  of  God  to 
bestow  it,  and  cast  myself  fully  upon  the  promises 
of  God.  By  simple  trust  I  was  enabled  to  take 
Christ  as  my  sufficiency  to  fill  and  satisfy  my  hun- 
gry soul.  The  instant  I  thus  received  Christ  as  my 
'' wisdom,  righteousness,  sanctification  and  redemp- 
tion," the  stillness  and  emotionlessness  of  absolute 
quiet  permeated  my  entire  being.  I  came  near  be- 
ing deceived,  for  I  had  anticipated  being  filled  with 
boundless  ecstasy  and  joy.  My  enthusiastic  and 
highly  emotional  temperament  foretokened  this,  and 
I  had  already  discounted  such  rapture.  The  tempter 
was  by  my  side  instantly,  and  suggested  seductively, 
"All  feeling  has  left  you,  the  Spirit  is  withdrawn, 
and  you  are  doomed  to  disappointment."  But 
quick  as  thought  came  my  reply,  "  With  or  without 
feeling,  I  here  and  now  take  Christ  as  my  all  and  in 
all ! "  I  knew  that  moment  he  was  my  complete 
Saviour !  At  once  the  most  delicious  experience 
was  mine  that  I  can  conceive  !  No  joy,  no  rapture  ; 
but  something  sweeter,  deeper  than  any  thing  before 
known — "  the  peace  of  God  that  passeth  all  under- 
standing !"  It  settled  in  upon  me  deeper  and  deeper, 
sweeter  and  sweeter,  till  I  seemed  "  filled  with  all 
the  fullness  of  God."  I  was  ineffably  satisfied.  I 
could  not  shout  or  speak.  Words  would  have  been 
mockery  of  that  peace  I  felt, 

"  That  silent  awe  that  dares  not  move." 
I  continued  in  speechless  wonder  until  the  meet- 


REV.   J.   O.    PECK,   D.D.  297 

ing  closed,  and  was  wrapped  in  adoration.  The 
Spirit  sealed  these  words  on  my  heart,  which  have 
been  ever  since  the  sweetest  verse  in  the  Bible  to 
me :  ''  Thou  shalt  keep  him  in  perfect  peace  whose 
mind  is  stayed  on  thee,  because  he  trusteth  in  thee." 
My  soul  knew  that  peace,  and  was  subdued  and  filled 
with  it.  I  continued  through  the  night  in  that  si- 
lent bliss;  but  the  next  morning  at  the  stand  I 
confessed  the  gracious  work  that  Christ  had  wrought. 
As  I  testified  my  soul  caught  fire  and  my  words 
burned  with  love,  and  yet  peace  was  the  supreme 
consciousness.  I  returned  home  that  day  and,  at 
the  first  opportunity  declared  to  my  own  flock  the 
fullness  of  Christ  that  had  been  bestowed. 

And  this  experience  I  have  never  lost — not  al- 
ways equally  clear  and  conspicuous,  but  ever  a  sacred 
deposition  in  my  heart.  Certain  results  have  fol- 
lowed this  experience  or  attended  it  in  my  ministry: 

1.  My  soul  has  been  one  with  God.  I  have  not 
had  an  ambition  or  plan  or  purpose  that  was  not 
formed  in  the  desire  to  glorify  God.  Not  perfect, 
nor  faultless,  nor  mistakenless,  nor  errorless,  yet 
the  whole  purpose  of  my  life  has  been  to  please  him. 

2.  I  have  had  a  greater  love  for  my  work.  I  al- 
ways loved  it  intensely,  but  it  has  seemed  to  possess 
me.  The  salvation  of  dying  men  has  been  a  passion. 
I  love  the  work  with  glowing  affection. 

3.  Greater  results  have  followed  my  ministry. 
More  souls  have  been  converted  each  year — two  or 


298  FORTY    WITNESSES. 

three  times  more.     I  have  had  power  unknown  be- 
fore to  persuade  sinners  to  come  to  Christ. 

4.  My  intellectual  work  was  at  once  vastly  stim- 
ulated. I  have  studied  twice  as  much  each  year. 
My  thought  has  been  clearer  and  my  love  for  pa- 
tient thinking  more  ardent. 

5.  Perfect  love  has  reigned  in  my  soul.  I  have 
not  slept  a  night  since  that  camp-meeting-  with  a 
bitter  or  vindictive  or  unchristian  feeling  toward  a 
human  being.  It  is  easy  to  love  men,  I  have  ex- 
perienced my  share  of  occasions  for  the  exhibition 
of  unsanctified  human  nature,  but  it  does  not  spring 
up.     I  judge  it  is  not  there. 

6.  I  have  had  an  aversion  to  argument  or  con- 
troversy on  the  subject  of  Christian  perfection.  I 
dare  not  speculate.  I  dare  not  mix  my  little  human 
philosophy  with  the  great  divine  truth  and  the 
divine  experience.  This  Instinctive  shrinking  from 
polemic  or  speculative  methods  of  treating  this  sub- 
ject has,  perhaps,  made  me  misunderstood  by  reason 
of  my  silence.  Any  movement  which  has  seemed 
to  isolate  or  differentiate  holiness  from  the  tra- 
ditional teachings  of  Christianity  has  not  com- 
manded my  convictions.  I  do  not  condemn  others, 
but  obey  my  own  convictions. 

"  My  soul  doth  magnify  the  Lord  "  for  this  ex- 
perience which  has  doubled  my  joys,  and,  if  I  may 
judge,  doubled  the  effectiveness  of  my  imperfect 
ministry.  j.  o.  PECK. 


PHCEBE   PALMER.  299 


XI. 

PHCEBE  PALMER. 

(METHODIST.) 

?HCEBE  PALMER  was  born  in  New  York  city, 
December  18,  1807.  She  gave  herself  to  the 
Saviour  in  childhood.  She  always  had  great  con- 
scientiousness, profound  admiration  of  goodness,  a 
longing  for  a  higher  life,  and  a  wish  to  honor  Christ 
that  tempted  her  to  envy  the  martyr's  crown.  After 
a  great  struggle  in  1837  ^^^  experienced  "perfect 
love."  The  following  extracts  from  her  diary,  as 
found  in  her  Life  and  Letters,  will  faintly  reveal  the 
struggles  and  growth  of  her  Christian  character : 

November  24,  1827. — O,  what  a  lack  in  my  relig- 
ious experience!  I  am  so  often  fearful  and  unbe- 
lieving. I  shrink  from  crosses  and  often  bring  con- 
demnation upon  my  soul.  I  approve  of  the  things 
that  are  excellent,  but  am  wanting  in  courage,  faith, 
and  fervor.  If  the  flames  that  consumed  the  martyrs 
were  before  me,  and  the  command  given  that  I 
should  pass  through  them,  it  seems  to  me  that  I 
would  at  once  leap  through  the  fire,  and  yet,  strange 
to  say,  my  timid  nature  too  often  shrinks  when  duty 


■* 
300  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

is  presented.     Too  painfully  do  I  know  the  mean- 
ing of  the  poet :  ^ 

"  'Tis  worse  than  death  my  God  to  love, 
And  not  my  God  alone." 

April  28,  1832. — I  am  getting  along  feebly  in  the 
divine  life,  not  so  much  lacking  in  good  purposes  as 
in  carrying  out  my  ever  earnest  resolve. 

I  ought  to  be  more  openly  active. 

I  lack  faith  and  courage. 

August  8,  1835. — The  Lord  has  given  me  a  long- 
ing desire  for  purity.  I  am  sure  I  would  not  know- 
ingly keep  back  any  thing  from  God.  But  alas ! 
there  must  be  some  hinderance. 

July  27,  1837. — I  never  made  much  progress  in 
the  career  of  faith  until  I  most  solemnly  resolved,  in 
the  strength  of  the  Lord  Jehovah,  that  I  would  do 
every  duty,  though  I  might  die  in  the  effort.  From 
that  hour  my  course  was  onward.  Between  the 
hours  of  eight  and  nine  o'clock  yesterday  I  was  led 
by  the  Spirit  to  the  determination  that  I  would 
never  rest,  day  nor  night,  until  I  knew  that  the  spring 
of  every  motive  was  pure  and  that  the  consecration 
I  made  of  myself  was  wholly  accepted. 

That  the  covenant  might  be  well  ordered  and 
sure  I  thought  "  let  me  particularize  taking  every 
step,  so  that  not  one  may  ever  have  to  be  retraced." 
The  first  object  presented  to  be  given  up  was  one 
with  which  every  fiber  of  my  being  seemed  inter- 
woven. With  amazement  I  asked,  can  it  be  that  the 


PHGEBE   PALMER.  301 

Lord  requires  that  this  one  beloved  object,  dearer 
to  me  than  life  itself,  be  bound  to  the  altar?  What 
shall  I  have  to  live  for  if  I  give  up  this  object  ? 
The  Holy  Spirit  suggested,  *'  Have  you  not  often 
said  to  the  Lord,  your  Redeemer,  *  I  take  thee  as 
my  only  portion  ! '  Now,  God  is  taking  you  at  your 
v^ord." 

**  What  a  sacrifice,"  said  the  tempter.  **  Did  you 
ever  hear  of  such  a  sacrifice  being  required  at  the 
hand  of  any  one?" 

Here  the  tender,  loving  Spirit  interposed.  *'  Did 
Abraham  know  why  he  was  called  to  give  up  Isaac 
at  the  time  he  gave  him  up  ?  But  he  knows  now. 
And  are  you  willing  to  wait  till  you  get  to  heaven 
in  order  to  know  why  the  Lord  demands  this  sacri- 
fice at  your  hand  ?  "  My  soul  replied,  "  Yes  !  Lord, 
I  will  wait  till  knowledge  is  made  perfect.  Take 
this  object  if  thou  dost  require.  Take  life  or  friends 
away.  I  am  wholly  thine  !  There  is  not  a  tie  that 
binds  me  to  earth.     Every  tie  has  been  severed." 

"  Perhaps  there  is  something  that  you  do  not 
know  of,  not  yet  given  up,"  whispered  the  tempter. 

"What  will  not  a  man  give  for  his  life?  and  I 
have  given  up  that  which  is  dearer  to  me  than  life. 
I  make  no  provision  for  future  emergencies,  resolved 
hereafter,  as  God  shall  reveal  his  will,  to  say,  *  Be- 
hold thy  willing  servant ! '  " 

Arriving  at  this  point  the  enemy  had  no  further 
ground  for  questioning,  relative  to  the  consecration, 


302  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

whether  it  was  entire,  absolute  and  unconditional. 
From  the  depths  of  my  being  I  felt  that  the  con- 
secration was  absolute  and  universal  and  in  view  of 
all  coming  time.  But  at  this  point  I  was  for  a  mo- 
ment perplexed  with  the  question — 

*'  How  do  you  know  that  God  will  receive  you  ?  " 
And  here  I  paused  and  pondered,  "  How  may  I 
know  that  the  Lord  does  receive  me?"  To  this, 
in  gentle  whispers,  the  Spirit  replied,  ^'  It  is  written, 
I  will  receive  you."  "  Must  I  believe  it  because  it 
simply  stands  written,  without  any  other  evidence 
than  the  word  of  God?"  I  exclaimed. 

In  answer  to  these  questionings  the  ever-blessed 
Spirit  (given  to  guide  us  into  all  truth)  suggested, 
"  Suppose  you  should  hear  a  voice  speaking  in  tones 
of  thunder  from  heaven,  saying,  '  I  will  receive  you,' 
would  you  not  believe  it  then?  "  I  could  not  help 
believing  it  then,  because  I  should  have  the  "  ev- 
idence of  my  senses,"  was  my  reply. 

In  a  moment  I  saw  the  inconsistency  of  my  posi- 
tion, remembering  that  I  was  taught  by  the  Script- 
ure most  plainly,  and  had  always  known  that  the 
blessing  of  entire  sanctification  was  received  by 
faith,  inasmuch  as  it  stands  written,  ''  Sanctify  them 
through  thy  truth  ;   thy  word  is  truth." 

"  But,"  said  the  adversary,  "  suppose  after  you 
have  believed  you  don't  feel  any  different,  what  will 
you  do?"  Here  the  blessed  word  again  met  me, 
tniensifying  the  truth,  "  The  just  shall  live  by  faith." 


PUCEBE    PALMER,  303 

I  now  saw  what  faith  was  in  all  its  simplicity.  Such 
perceptions  of  the  divinity  of  the  word  I  never 
before  had.  So  true  is  it  that,  ''  if  any  man  will  do 
His  will,  he  shall  know  of  the  doctrine." 

I  had  thought  of  the  doctrine  of  faith  as  difficult. 
Now  I  saw  that  it  was  only  to  believe  heartily  what 
in  fact  I  had  always  professed  to  believe — that  is, 
that  the  Bible  is  the  word  of  God  just  as  truly  as 
though  I  could  hear  him  speaking  in  tones  of  thun- 
der from  Sinai's  Mount,  and  faith  is  to  believe  it ! 

Still  the  enemy  withstood  me  with  the  suggestion, 
'*  Suppose  you  should  be  called  to  live  a  long  life, 
till  you  are  threescore  or  a  hundred  years  old,  and 
never  have  any  of  those  manifestations  that  others 
enjoy — never  have  any  thing  but  the  naked  word 
of  God  upon  which  to  rely — and  should  die  and 
come  up  before  your  Judge  without  ever  having 
had  any  thing  but  the  naked  word  to  assure  your 
faith  ?  " 

My  reply  was,  I  would  come  up  before  my 
Judge  and  in  the  face  of  an  assembled  universe  say, 
"  The  foundation  of  my  faith  was  thy  immutable 
word."  The  moment  I  came  to  this  point  the 
Holy  Spirit  most  assuringly  whispered,  "  This  is 
just  the  way  in  which  Abraham,  the  father  of  the 
faithful,  walked."  ''  By  faith  he  journeyed,  not 
knowing  whither  he  went." 

There  is  joy  in  faith.  ''  Can  it  be  that  the  Lord 
of  the  way  is  going  to  honor  me  thus,  as  to  permit 


304  FORTY   WITNESSES. 

me  all  along  through  life  to  tread  in  the  foot-prints 
of  the  father  of  the  faithful?" — was  the  language 
of  my  heart. 

It  was  at  this  point  that  the  covenant  was  con- 
summated between  God  and  my  soul  that  I  would 
live  a  life  of  faith  ;  that  however  diversified  life's 
current  might  roll — though  I  might  be  called  to  en- 
dure more  complicated  and  long-continued  trials  of 
my  faith  than  were  ever  before  conceived  of,  or  even 
brought  to  a  climax,  where,  as  with  the  father  of 
the  faithful,  commands  and  promises  might  seem  to 
conflict — I  would  still  believe,  though  I  might  die 
in  the  effort.    I  would  hold  on  in  the  death  struggle. 

In  the  strength  of  Omnipotence  I  laid  hold  on 
the  word,  ''  I  will  receive  you !  " 

Faith  apprehended  the  written  word  not  as  a 
dead  letter,  but  as  the  living  voice  of  the  living  God. 
''  Holy  men  of  God  spake  as  they  were  moved  by 
the  Holy  Ghost."  The  holy  Scriptures  were  inten- 
sified to  my  mind  as  the  lively  or  living  oracles — the 
voice  of  God  to  me  as  truly  as  though  I  could  every 
moment  hear  him  speaking  in  tones  of  thunder  from 
Sinai.  And  now  that,  through  the  inworkings  of 
the  Holy  Spirit,  I  had  presented  all  my  redeemed 
powers  to  God,  through  Christ,  how  could  I  doubt 
his  immutable  word,  *'  I  will  receive  you  ?  " 

O,  with  what  light,  clearness  and  power,  were  the 
words  invested,  "  Sanctify  them  through  thy  truth, 
thy  word  is  truth  !  " 


PIICEBE   PALMER.  3^5 

Yet,  though  I  knew  that  it  could  not  be  other- 
wise than  that  God  did  receive  me,  my  faith  was  at 
once  put  to  the  test.  I  had  expected  that  some 
wonderful  manifestation  would  at  once  follow  as  the 
reward  of  my  faith.  But  I  was  shut  up  to  faith- 
naked  faith  in  a  naked  promise. 

The  next  step,  faith,  in  regard  to  divine  accept- 
ance of  all,  had  also  been  distinctly  taken.  And 
now,  as  I  plainly  saw  the  third  step  clearly  defined 
in  the  word,  I  took  the  advanced  ground— con- 
fession. 

Giving  God  the  glory  due  to  his  name,I  exclaimed, 
''  Through  thy  grace  alone  I  have  been  enabled  to 
'  give  myself  wholly  and  forever  to  thee.  Thou  hast 
given  thy  word,  assuring  me  that  thou  dost  receive. 
I  believe  that  word  !  Alleluia !  the  Lord  God  Om- 
nipotent reigneth  unrivaled  in  my  heart.  Glory  be 
to  the  Father  !  Glory  be  to  the  Son  !  Glory  be  to 
the  Holy  Spirit  forever !  "  O,  into  what  a  region  of 
\hA\t,  glory  and  purity,  was  my  soul  at  this  moment 
ushered !  I  felt  that  I  was  but  as  a  drop  in  the 
ocean  of  infinite  love,  and  Christ  was  all  in  all. 

If  any  one  had  asked  me  previous  to  this,  ''  Are 
any  of  the  graces  of  the  Spirit  perfected  in  you  ?  " 
I  might  have  said,  *'  I  am,  indeed,  greatly  deficient 
in  all  the  gifts  and  graces  of  the  Holy  Spirit ;  but 
if  one  grace  is  nearer  perfected  than  another  it  is 
the  grace  of  humility."  But  never  before  did  I 
know  the  meaning  of  the  word  humility.  How  the 
20 


306  FORTY    WITNESSES. 

realization  was  intensified  to  my  mind,  "  Not  by 
works  of  righteousness  that  we  have  done !  "  I  saw 
that  I  was  not  sufficient  of  myself  to  think  a  good 
thought,  much  less  to  perform  a  righteous  action. 
I  felt  that  I  could  not  save  myself  even  for  one  mo- 
ment, and  from  the  depths  my  soul  cried  out, 

"  Every  moment,  Lord,  I  need 

The  merit  of  thy  death." 

September  9,  1837. — After  retiring  last  evening, 
being  much  fatigued  in  body,  my  sleep  was  very 
confused,  and  though  my  confidence  was  not  in  the 
least  shaken,  yet  that  near  communion  and  distinct- 
ness of  perception  of  the  persons  of  the  Trinity 
which  had  made  any  approaches  through  faith  to 
the  throne  so  effectual  and  soul-transforming  was 
hindered.  I  felt  the  fullest  assurance  that  it  was  the 
tempter.  I  arose  and  pleaded  with  the  Lord,  and 
though  the  cloud  was  not  then  removed,  yet  such  was 
the  assurance  I  felt  that  it  was  the  buffetings  of 
Satan  for  a  short  season  that  I  almost  rejoiced  in 
expectation  of  the  glory  that  would  subsequently 
be  revealed.  I  retired,  but  soon  awoke  in  a  most 
triumphant  frame  of  mind. 

November  20,  1837. — I  \\^yQ  felt  for  some  time 
past  most  intense  desires  after  conformity  to  God. 
The  breathings  have  not  been  unavailing.  I  would 
thankfully  acknowledge  that  an  increase  of  spiritual 
life  has  been  the  result,  but  I  feel  that  I  do  not  in- 
dulge sufficiently  in  the  spirit  of  praise. 


PIIGi:BE    TALMER.  307 

June  20,  1 84 1. — For  some  months  past  I  have 
been  called  to  pass  through  scenes  of  unusual  trial, 
ordeals  of  spiritual  and  mental  conflict.  Though 
deeply  conscious  of  many  shortcomings,  grace  has 
sustained. 

1843. — I  fi"<^  it  somewhat  crossing  to  the  flesh  to 
abstain,  (as  it  is  my  custom  on  Friday,)  to-day,  a 
little  more  than  usual,  as  it  excites  some  observa- 
tion which  could  n.ot  well  be  avoided,  an  excellent 
dinner  being  prepared  for  us.  My  health  will  not 
permit  my  fasting,  as  a  general  thing,  wholly,  but  I 
find  it  well  to  observe  the  day  in  frequent  acts  of 
self-denial.  Paul  says,  "  I  keep  my  body  under." 
I  find  it  helpful  to  my  spiritual  health  to  do  like- 
wise. To-day  I  had  reason  to  be  thankful  that  I 
did  so. 

August  2\,  1845. — Though  not  ahvays  fully  able 
from  sensible  assurance  to  pronounce  an  onward 
course,  yet,  as  Brother  Hamline  has  said,  "  When  the 
mists  have  cleared  away  we  have  found,  though 
driven  about,  that  our  heavenly  Pilot  has  carried 
us  safely  and  surely  onward." 

January  19,  1847. — Temptations  complicated  and 
diverse  abound.  O,  God !  my  heavenly  Father, 
grant  that  in  all  I  may  be  more  than  conqueror. 

November  27,  1853. — Returned  home  last  night 
ill.  Unmistakable  symptoms  indicated  several  days' 
indisposition.  I  asked  the  Lord  that  he  would 
restore  me  and  cause  me  to  rise  with  comfortable 


308  FORTY  WITNESSES. 

health  in  the  morning,  unless  it  would  be  more  to 
his  glory  that  I  should  be  ill.  I  felt  that  the  Lord 
heard  me  and  knew  that  the  answer  would  be  such 
as  would  glorify  him.  This  morning,  at  the  com- 
mand of  Him  who  spake  and  diseases  obeyed  his 
word,  I  arose  in  comfortable  health. 

January  i,  1856. — I  feel  that  my  union  with  God 
is  inward,  vital,  and  real.  Most  consciously  do  I 
realize  that  all  my  interests  are  identified  with  the 
interests  of  Christ's  kingdom.  If  this  should  be  my 
last  testimony  I  would  wish  to  say  before  God, 
angels,  and  men,  that  from  my  own  heart  experiences 
I  know  that  God  can,  through  the  power  of  the 
Holy  Spirit,  so  subdue  the  heart  as  to  bring  the 
whole  soul  into  a  joyous  obedience  to  Christ. 

Febrtiary  25,  1857, — Through  the  grace  of  our 
Lord  Jesus  Christ  I  believe  I  can  say  that  I  have 
never  given  way  to  discouragements  during  the  past 
twenty  years. 

October  13,  1872. — The  human  and  the  divine  are 
so  closely  identified  that  continual  watchfulness  is 
necessary  or  we  may  at  unawares  walk  after  our 
own  spirit  instead  of  the  Spirit  of  God. 

Jime  13,  1872. — O,  yes!  this  body  is  the  temple 
of  the  Holy  Ghost.  Whence  this  absence  of  all 
desire  to  live  for  self?  Whence  these  ceaseless 
inworkings  to  work,  live,  think  and  speak  for  God  ? 
Whence  this  absorbing,  controlling  love  for  God 
and  his  cause?    Conscious,  deeply  conscious,  that  I 


PHCEBE   PALMER.  309 

have  received  the  sentence  of  death  in  myself, 
whence  this  realization  of  reliance,  momentary 
reliance,  on  him  that  raiseth  the  dead  ? 

October  5,  1873. — I  am  daily  apprehending  more 
fully  not  only  that  salvation  is  by  faith,  but  that 
salvation  in  all  its  degrees  is  the  result  of  a  mo- 
mentary act. 

She  died,  in  the  joys  and  triumphs  of  salvation, 
November  2,  1874. 


